Most Awesome Thing Said to You Either During or After Sex

So . . . what was it?

(please note this is in reference to the question at hand and not my answer to said question)

OK fine obv nobody else is going to start.

a) "I just saw God. He said to say hi." Cheesy but v cute in the moment.

b) That was by far the best bj I've ever got - uhhhh a cpl times over.

"okay pussy, your turn"

ha

Cowabunga

j/k

wasn't there already a thread like this? hoos posted about his dick iirc

Link pls

was that before?

wasn't there already a thread like this?

I think that one was funniest/inappropriate/somethingelse...

Awesomest? Too many to think of...

I don't know that words were ever the things I took most as a compliment. But there is a certain breathlessness, accompanied by a particular sort of look in the middle distance, follow by laughing.

Words are weak in this situation.

wtf are you talking about, words are awesome in this situation

Ok, yeah, they can be. But retyping them on ILX isn't going to do them justice. "That was amazing" doesn't translate if you weren't there, you know? It's rarely a moment that calls for riffing.

clearly some of subscribe to the iltmi podcast & others don't

Ok, I thought of one...

"Hi Mark, is "xxx" there?"

"I think she's in the kitchen..."

(you figure it out)

Once, I got a breathless "so THATS what it's meant to be like!" from a guy I dated.

Yeah that was a major ego boost :)

she stopped reading 'my sister's keeper' momentarily, once.

srs qstn:

maybe outing myself as a noob, but what makes a lady "good at sex" outside of just being responsive and into it?

small vajayjay iirc

maybe outing myself as a noob, but what makes a lady "good at sex" outside of just being responsive and into it?

That's all there is to it.

small vajayjay iirc

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGjElvt4nP8

and yet...

Most Awesome Thing Said to You Either During or After Sex [Started by Aqua Backrat (ENBB) in April 2010, last updated 31 minutes ago by snakebite and a passable pinot noir (Upt0eleven) on I Love TMI] 22 new answers

i can't sleep [Started by gareth (gareth) in August 2002, last updated 33 minutes ago by mookieproof on I Love Everything] 5 new answers

I can tell you the most awful thing ever said to me after sex. (Not that you asked.)

She was a "technical virgin" at the time, at the age of 24, though she'd had it up the butt a bunch of times before me. Anyway, I finally talked her into something a little more old-fashioned, and she looked pointedly bored throughout. When it was over, she said (I am not exaggerating), "So that's it, huh?" She went on to pontificate on how nations have fallen and wars have been waged over this allegedly amazing act, but how she failed to see the appeal. Yeah, go ahead, perfect time to get all egghead about it, hon. Worst sex EVER.

Best thing I've got was any number of things from my old ex, probably a gasped 'Best....boyfriend....ever!' amid a host of multiple-orgasms. I do miss her, a bit.

"hey guys it's jesus's cock"

I think actually getting into real answers to this question, with real descriptions of heavy sex stuff, would freak the fuck out of this board and send everyone back to the doo-doo threads feeling half-ashamed.

too late, we have nothing to lose

xp Or perhaps into Lacan's definition of "aphanisis." When the subject (always one's self; even when the ostensible subject is someone else, one places one's self into the situation to try to empathize) and the linguistic signifiers (words, yo) become too close to each other, a kind of dissonance occurs that the mind rejects in order to maintain its balance between symbolic, imaginary, and real. It makes no sense, it never happened, LALALA I can't hear you, etc.

too late, we have nothing to lose

No, this is the short road to Suggest Ban City.

if it's TMI on ILTMI the mods will simply remove the suggested ban

(maybe)

LOL I love that Curb episode.

This is all a tangent:

I'm not sure this board is ready for sex. And I'm even less sure that most of us could get by with too much honesty before we'd get into neck-deep shit with our partners. My girlfriend reads this board, and I seriously doubt she wants to hear about a previous partner's orgasms. I mean... No.

The old guard of all things ribald, juicy, and generally Uncle Milty have become way too married or involved or just plain old to get much into all that, and the clinical discussions severely lack the sex-science-roller-derby-girls from years ago. And the kids just like their doo-doo.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fJu-byjtRY

"My vagina is not a clowncar"

the clinical discussions severely lack the sex-science-roller-derby-girls from years ago

Abbott notwithstanding. :)

tbh I started this to get some new activity going on the board and it was the first thing that came to mind because something had recently reminded me of the God comment.

The old guard of all things ribald, juicy, and generally Uncle Milty have become way too married or involved or just plain old to get much into all that, and the clinical discussions severely lack the sex-science-roller-derby-girls from years ago. And the kids just like their doo-doo.

ehh, it's true.

xp I'm just venting about the board in general. Please don't take it personally, or even to be about this thread.

i personally don't even bother with sex anymore in case my SO is lurking

i'm not / wasn't. r.i.p. jon / tom / ally / chaki

I miss Ms. Laura.

It's mainly because you can't post anonymously on TMI (anymore)

ms. laura was bizarrely normal in person.

she talked to me for half an hour about cleaning shit from the bottom of hedgehogs' feet with a special toothbrush -- it was kind of fascinating

Ok I just lol'd loud, but I have to explain why. Ms. Laura has a bit of a foot thing. I'll leave it at that.

I'm not sure how you spell "nnggngguhnnngghuhuhuh"

"you sure were excellent at the sex we just did"

looooooool

my favorite (and perhaps not uncommon) after-sex saying: "i'm hungry now" b/c what better way to combine the best things on earth? doing it & eating? wowowowowo

that was said to you back in your prostitution days, i imagine

no, no it wasnt

I say it to people all the time, owing to both the tremendous volume of ejaculate I produce, and my gunking-up-the-top-of-the-dresser fetish

thats digusting

"i left a werther's original on the dresser"

"I left a pack of Extra on the dresser"

"what the fuck are you talking about"
"it's a sugar-free gum"
"never call here again"

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0rzBqrKKJ9A/SJH9COf1REI/AAAAAAAAACo/CLAVWZhoK1k/s1600/banana.jpg

btw I want to say for the record that Lamp's joke was A+ and any riffing I did after it was only out of jealousy

i've also once tried to do my best teddy pendergrass imitation complete with horrendous singing.

Better than the Laurie-Anderson-in-male-drag imitation (made her crack up; o college).

"long, lasting flavor"

one time my g/f at the time wanted to have sex despite being on the tail end of her period (usually she preferred to wait until they passed completely because hers could be brutal).

So we went at it like normal, it was pleasurable, and as I turned the light on after finishing noticed large gobs of period blood all up and down my leg.

She tried to work it into a compliment by saying it was 'cuz i was so huge' that I went deeper than she expected which is why that happened but I was still kinda....ewwwwww about it.

ok to redeem myself for that post, my favorite thing that my ex did was unspoken, but she 'shivered' during climax in such a pleasurable way that told me she was enjoying herself and was 'fulfilled' to be frank. it was always a nice intimate moment.

I've never been able to have sex during my period because it was always too painful. (It felt like my insides were being scrubbed with a wire brush.)

Worst thing ever said to me during sex="I'm so big! I'm so big!" This was a woman, mind you, and nothing I was doing to her involved penetration. We had to stop because everyone was laughing so hard.

lol what the heck was she even talking about?

there was this extremely large woman who apparently was getting busy with another friend of mine at a drunken post-show cast shindig at a cast member's house. she thought everyone else was asleep, but my friend K!m was awake and secretly observing.

she was saying extremely awkward things about her pussy throughout the sexual encounter, and at the very end, asked, almost in matronly fashion, "didja cum?".

everyone kept saying "didja cum?" the rest of that day and through the ensuing performance to tease her.

xp She had a mid-fuck mental sex change, maybe? I dunno.

everyone can have a penis, a penis is a state of mind

^ million-seller t-shirt, dude!

given my history, it would be fitting if that turned out to be my legacy

once a girl said "you're beautiful" which i realize is kinda eyeroll but there were drugs involved and we were in a forest and it was raining, so it was well-timed.

besides that most of the runners-up are probably various slightly dommy tough-girl things that i'll just do the service of not exposing to the air because like others have said this is probably the single most you-had-to-be-there category in human experience.

once a girl said "you're beautiful" which i realize is kinda eyeroll but there were drugs involved and we were in a forest and it was raining

Holy shit that sounds like my idea of the most mindblowingly awesome thing to ever happen.

sounds like a deleted scene from Avatar

"ooh, Captain Butler!"

later we read out loud to each other from robert mckee's story while riding pterodactyls

We had to stop because everyone was laughing so hard.

uh, everyone?

try to keep up 007

xp Yes, this was a foursome.

Ah, OK.

You made it sound like an episode of "Friends" (recorded in front of a studio audience)

Nope, haven't had to become a live sex show performer yet. :-)

yet

oh wait - not saying that you're going to have to - I thought you meant that you hadn't yet done it as if it was something possibly in the cards - sorry!

too late she already hates you

:(

everyone kept saying "didja cum?" the rest of that day and through the ensuing performance to tease her.
http://outofafrica2010.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/rolf-harris-and-his-trust-001.jpg
Didja re-do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSijA607Qao

It's OK. *gives Erica a sisterly hug*

--ex texted again. Geezus. Not to say she missed me, like last time, but to see what I was doing.

I want to tell her getting back together isn't an option, but if she doesn't come out and express that desire, I can see how quickly I'll be presented as a presumptuous dick to everyone.

I am gonna have no choice soon. I am kinda indignant given who broke up w/ who. Even my mom was questioning why I didn't wanna get back together today...can I help that I don't have feelings for her anymore?

K I clearly meant this for the 77 thread. Dammit.

*gives San Te a hug anyway*

Thx. Just wish she'd find someone new that makes her happy.

I want to tell her getting back together isn't an option

"Worst things said during sex"

haha

sometimes my ex-g/f used to say "wow, i'm still really horny", and resume making out with me which was a cool thing cuz she meant she was into it, but a bad thing cuz I knew I was gonna have to pull an all nighter.

on weekends she was disappointed if you didn't do it 4-5 times. freakin nympho. she also loved oral, but goddamn that shit could be tiring as she loved to draw it out...

i mean 4-5 times in one evening, not cumulatively over the entire weekend

i too have had some sex with women

I dunno how people can do that and not be completely chafed, tbh.

my face came out of it looking like I just faceplanted on a porcupine

horrifying