Preferred Voice When Talking Dirty, or Being Talked Dirty to, in the Sack

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_dMFDzknHJ0A/TBEqfb--0OI/AAAAAAAAJoQ/bgQuVJkcxXo/s1600/couple-in-bed+(4).jpg

voted other, cookie monster death metal voice

Maybe the vote should've been
"Oooh, I am fucking..."
vs. "Oooh, you are fucking..."
vs. "Ooh, he/she is fucking..."
vs. "Oooh, we are fucking..."
vs. "Oooh, y'all, or, you, sir/ma'am, are fucking..."

3rd person?! like how the Queen would talk dirty if you were banging her?!

Unreliable narrator

I think this "tone poem" option is on to something.

this is a pretty complicated tmi q

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWsyPDHhJPc

one or two choice imperative phrases are among the hottest things a human being will ever get to hear in his life even if they're technically kinda vanilla

I think this "tone poem" option is on to something.

― sharkless dick stick (Abbbottt), Tuesday, August 24, 2010 10:33 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx8r-TiLSVg

relying on sounds of words more than the meaning of the words themselves

"Lavender...lavender...kumquat...kumquat...lavender kumquat, lavender kumquat."

Dammit, I forgot the foreign-language option.

Imperatives, and not a whole lot of them either.

Dammit, I forgot the foreign-language option.

And everyone on ILX is now thinking of A Fish Called Wanda.

"maintenant, viens!" - breathy Birkin voice

fran dresser

martha raye

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Alfred Hitchcock.

lol "Guud Eeeevening."

That reminds me of Patton Oswalt's fat person voice, where people can tell how fat you are by the thickly over-enunciated sound of the letter "b".

"I want you to Butter my Butt and Bite it, and then Bugger me while Blindfolded with a Broomstick until I Beg. The safe word is Bibbity Bobbity Boo."

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

I don't think I actually voted on this.

This thread makes me think of that situation guys sometimes run into, the one where a girl is giving you head but not going down to suck on your nuts even though you'd really like her to. So you sheepishly ask, "could you suck my balls?" hoping she will, and then she does, but all you can think about is the sound of your own voice asking "could you suck my balls?".
― Bryan (Bryan), Thursday, December 2, 2004 3:05 AM (5 years ago) Bookmark (As quoted in this thread)

This is the sort of situation where the imperative is way better than interrogative (which is not listed in the poll anyway). Maybe not a simple "Suck my balls," but sublter "Yeh, that's it, blah blah suck my balls oh yeh that's it blah blah blah" Or even better, command that the partner do what s/he is already doing, followed by "yeh yeh suck my balls yeh"

Or even better, command that the partner do what s/he is already doing

Yes! Classic. Or what he/she is inevitably going to be doing in a very short moment.

trying to figure out how the third person singular or plural would sound anything other than ridiculous

Or like:

http://www.horrordvds.com/reviews/n-z/sotl/sotl_shot5l.jpg

Storytelling, sarahel. Storytelling.

like someone breathily recounting the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears while you're giving them a blow job?

One day it's gonna work and you'll be like goddam!.

what happens if they finish the story before climax?

Vamp?

in third person?

"She, um, she gets up, and she walks across the room, and she, um..."

There's actually an easier way to make this work, but it's late and I'd better not get specific.

mama bear and there was uh, oh yeah there was a poppa bear, pop-pop-pop poppa bear, ooh yeah ooh yeah, poppa bear, mama bear, and there was, yeah there was, there was baby-baby-baby-baby-baby bear, there were three bears, three three three, bears bears

"Toooooooo hotttttt, tooooo collllld"

You people. I do declare.

Does group sex require parallel narratives? How many of those can one reasonably sustain?

I think I'd just end up going back and forth, a chapter at a time. You know, like Moby Dick. Ok, now we're on the Pequod and the captain is insane... now it's time for an extended soliloquy... and now for 50 pages of the history of whaling. (Starbuck is in the corner jerking off.)