In general, how nervous are you while waiting for the STD test results?

Well?

Yes, thanks.

What STD are you afraid you may have, Tuomas? Does it burn?

Man, the first time I got tested, I was pretty much writing out my will.

By the way tuomas, why didn't you ever transloate the hevisaurus lyrics for us?

I haven't had a need for an STD test for quite some time, but in the past I've been rather afraid of the results, even though I've always tested clean.

I totally forgot about the Hevisaurus thing, I'll try to do it when I have more time.

getting tested for HIV in the eighties was this very intense thing - I would spend the days between the test & the results in this strange floating state of dread, wondering if life was about to change forever

never done this

DUDE.

http://www.moviesonline.ca/movie-gallery/albums/userpics//poster_infected.jpg

http://www.flixray.com/dvd_covers/200707/44152.jpg

http://movie-shop.us/pictures/Outbreak.jpg

DUDE

http://www.nyghtweaver.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/The-40-Year-Old-Virgin.jpg

how often are you getting tested tuomas?!
i've only been tested twice, and just once with stds specifically in mind.

I had a friend/roomie who volunteered at a clinic, giving out the (free) test where you rub the fuzzy plastic thing about in your cheek. And as part of her job she had to get tested for HIV every three months. She was a virgin and never did a damn thing but for that week she was waiting for the results she was just insufferably fretful and anxious until the results came back. "You of all people should know there's no way you could have contracted HIV," I would say, but it wouldn't calm her down.

Oh I should note that "the (free) test where you rub the fuzzy plastic thing about in your cheek" was testing for HIV.

I know I sound like a jerk in this story but it really was hard to handle, and also I'm a jerk.

It's an irrational fear, Abbott and I'm sure she was informed as to what the risks were objectively, it's just cold comfort when you're waiting for test results.

That said, I usually avoid people in the throes of irrational freakouts.

that's not very jerky.

xposts

Every time I've been checked, it's been in conjunction with some married couple thing where they test you just in case. I've been tempted to throw Waiting For Our Results parties but my wife wasn't down.

a proper jerk would have said "oh, you probably have aids."

xpost

I've been tempted to throw Waiting For Our Results parties but my wife wasn't down.

Genuine lols

I did get STD screened once the day *before* a casual sex partner told me that all his previous sexual partners were a variety of prostitutes, so that was the only time it was nerve-wracking for me. Not to be "sex negative" or say anything bad about prostitutes, but it was just outside the realms of what I was used to.

It's funny when you get a Pap smear, they always ask if you want an STD screening in kind of the same way a waiter asks if he can finish off your meal with a dessert.

i saw this news story awhile ago and some kid was interviewed talking about a friend of his: "he had sex with this girl and then a week later he found out she had HIV and he got tested and came back and said, man i have FULL BLOWN AIDS and he died like a week after that."

It's funny when you get a Pap smear, they always ask if you want an STD screening in kind of the same way a waiter asks if he can finish off your meal with a dessert.

I was on meds once that required me to get blood work every three months and I asked them to throw in STD/cholesterol once just to see.

I have been screened for everything in the world three times, twice at the University of Texas health center, once at Planned Parenthood. The funny thing about the UT health center was, I was not a student either of the times I was screened by their health center. It's ostensibly a student service, but it's strictly anonymous, so it's not like they ask for ID. You just need to LOOK like a student, and hey, free sex health screening, top to (ahem) bottom. I think I was 27 the last time I went there. I just kind of dressed down a bit. Which is kind of bullshit -- this kind of thing should be free to everyone, always. But it's not. Planned Parenthood didn't charge me anything, either, but only because my girlfriend worked there.

See, we don't just GIVE preventative medicine to people 'round these parts. Don't get me started. (I'll try not to get myself started in the meantime.)

In General, How Nervous Are You Anticipating That Thing That Touches Your Willie For A Split-Second And Feels Like The Most Intense Blinding Thing You've Ever Felt In Your Whole Lifetime And Are They Using That Thing At Guantanamo Bay?

What about that time I got stung by a wasp? What if the wasp had just stung somebody with AIDS? "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm sorry to have to tell you this..."

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

dreading the results of this

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

In General, How Nervous Are You Anticipating That Thing That Touches Your Willie For A Split-Second And Feels Like The Most Intense Blinding Thing You've Ever Felt In Your Whole Lifetime And Are They Using That Thing At Guantanamo Bay?

Can I just say I did this test kind of on a whim due to a boring story involving a possible UTI and my hypochondriac wife and it ranks up there with one of the worst off-the-cuff decisions I've ever made? Like, I was all "eh it's going to be negative, and I know it will be negative, and there's no way it will be positive, but why not?" and several seconds later I was all "THEY ARE STICKING A Q-TIP IN MY DICKHOLE WHY THE HELL DID I THINK THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA"

I don't think "this is going to be uncomfortable" was nearly enough warning for that. I was surly about it for WEEKS.