I Lost A Coughdrop in His Asshole: The ILX Gays TMI Thread

To make the ILE thread 'safe' for our friends :)

\o/

ahaha.

so, in some TMI news, my bestie and housemate Jaime (a girl) slept with a mechanic last night. and took a picture of his erect penis. and...my word. i'm experienced, and i was like 'holy mother of god that is some schlongggggg'

we're talking a ten-incher. if he was three inches taller, he'd be a shoo-in for porn.

whoa. those guys are the reason I grew up thinking I had an "average" dick.

(not that I care that much or that there's anything wrong with that)

Hi gays, I am so bookmarking this thread.

Can ladies play too? I have a good one which is sorta gross but pretty lol at the same time.

Oh fuck it. Years ago I hooked up with a girl I knew and spent the night at her place. When I woke up my hands were covered in dried reddish brown stuff so naturally I was like oh shit, she had her period. I was pretty grossed out for a couple mins while I sat there trying to figure out how to make an exit until I remembered that we'd drunkenly eaten chicken nuggets the night before and the stuff all over my hands (and hers as it turned out) was barbecue sauce.

aaaagh

ok never mind i totally clicked on this thread

ENBB i am irl loling tremendously at that story

we're talking a ten-incher. if he was three inches taller, he'd be a shoo-in for porn.

I was under the impression that male porn actors tended to be a little shorter than average.

and is three inches (in height, not length) really noticeable on screen?

yeah I think most ppl in porn are smaller than average overall but with larger than average genitalia, so everything looks big

like, that cock looks huge because she's only 4'11!

So is this the thread where I talk abt fucking 4 guys in 24 hours last week?

:D

most I've done was two, and that was tiring

Oh I am totally kidding.

I mean, it happened and everything but I am so not discussing it.

I didn't think so!

T3ddy, you can't bring up that you took a picture and expect me not to ask to see it. So I just did.

And ENBB, I read your tale in the back of a cab and surprised the driver with my snortols.

ENBB, that is like die-worthy funny. i am still giggling.

i didn't take the pic. my friend did.

also, from my experience, porn is full of all types. like i know this kid who can't get into kink because of his looks (twink central) but has been in other porn because he's 6'1" and has a massive dick. he's all right, but awfully...full of himself in this certain way, which is off-putting to say the least.

:D

omg bbq

I know.

at least it wasn't buffalo sauce

we're all stumped 'bout the buffalo sauce
we eat the wings and we start to toss

ILT isn't like 77, is it? i.e. it's Googlable and all?

But srsly, when y'all get the chance, ask tabes about the title story. it is A++ good. also, the poem is better, tho.

alex, your forget that my naked body is on the internet and my latest pub is pornography, who gives a fuck.

here's the poem about the boy: http://www.flickr.com/photos/metamafka/5211244690/

the story:

i was with this boy. things weren't going all that well, but on the night before valentine's day, he came over and we had some fun. i was kind of sick with one of those terrible winter colds that isn't the flu.

in the morning, on valentine's day, we started some frottage, then uh... i was rimming him, and i had a ricola in my mouth, and i lost it in his asshole. i had to search for it.

i found it after some effort. it felt like a miracle.

then we continued while it snowed.

the end.

http://i44.tinypic.com/24o34oo.jpg

i had to search for it.

Why?

More sapphic nuggets.

I mean being an arsehole the Ricola's going to find its way out pretty smartly.

my advice is to rip out your heart.

everyone.

Love this thread already.

at least you didn't fall asleep on a piece of partially melted candy bar.

http://thumb3.webshots.net/t/58/58/4/14/76/2665414760080997043NPchXu_th.jpg

My sexcapades have never involved anything so exciting as a lost coughdrop. The unfortunate stumbling blocks are sadly more prosaic, like, you know, selfish dudes who orgasm without warning you and then act like helping you finish off is a distasteful chore, and such.

^^ worst part of sex imo

There have been times when I've felt it necessary to establish a vocal contract, like, "No, I really want to focus on you and get you off and basically shock you with how good this is gonna be for you, but the proviso is you have to not go all weird for at least ten min afterwards."

it's stupid too because, like, that feeling happens to all of us, and we all (should) realize that, so just suck it up (no pun) & finish your end of the deal

ILT isn't like 77, is it? i.e. it's Googlable and all?

I deindexed this thread just in case someone doesn't want it showing up on Google. But anyone who visits ilxor.com can still read ILTMI, it's not a secret board like 77.

okay here goes: anybody else been puked on during oral sex?

years ago in college an old flame of mine got into gagging on purpose during oral sex

like the power trip part of it, being bossed around and such

he told me to just keep shoving regardless of what gagging noises he was making

so we are going at it hot and heavy and I'm about to erupt

when I hear these really weird sounds from down there and then

wham

his barf is all over my cock and coming out his nose

I can't be the only person this has ever happened to, surely?

you aren't but that's never happened to me

selfish dudes who orgasm without warning you

i seriously wanted to smack the guy who did this when i was going down on him

On one hand, I think it's preposterous that we 'need' a separate TMI thread. On the other, it's fascinating to see who's come out for the party.

If anyone's into the scene that the tune is space describes above, then just click right here, baby! (extremely NSFW [does that need to be said on this board?])

Yeah, thats happened to me

:( x FOREVER just for remembering it

sounds like a good dish if too infrequent

sex is a dish best served young

i'm still holding on to my hotel reservations for a solo trip to palm springs, but i'm wavering. i'm afraid i'm going to hate it. i'm starting to think i'm going to be happier trying to save some money and splurging on, um, a winter blanket instead. sorry for the most un-tmi post ever.

I've heard Palm Springs boasts versatile old gays and spectacularly desperate and hot young ones, bored of dealing with the versatile old gays. You'll do fine.

i'm bored of dealing with the desperate and hot young ones, and the old open couples just make me wish for an ltr, which i'm increasingly skeptical is a good idea for me. anyway, i do want to be around some goddamn queers for a few days and fuck a lot, so i'm going to go and enjoy it for what it is, not what i want to have.

thanks for the vote of confidence

I'll mix you a Negroni and we'll hit Wynwood.

word

I hate Palm Springs. I feel like I'm looking at a future that I wish not to occur. My gay dotage will be in the mountains chopping wood and breeding dogs thank you

My Gay Dotage is the title of a Philip Larkin collection.

Whenever I read an article about global warming, I feel like my life is a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure wherein only the decisions that cause me to motivate everyone else toward radical reduction of carbon emissions etc. will result in a non-tragic ending, and that I've been making page-after-page-after-page of inadequately unengaged decision-making and I can't fathom why I haven't thrown everything else up in my life to pursue severe radical activism to hopefully even save at least one, two lives

But anyway, in other news, I had gay sex yesterday and it was very good

just gonna call it all floodwater sex henceforth

I hate Palm Springs. I feel like I'm looking at a future that I wish not to occur. My gay dotage will be in the mountains chopping wood and breeding dogs thank you

― fgti is for (flamboyant goon tie included), Thursday, October 11, 2018 4:08 AM (one week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i feel this. i actually canceled my trip--for a bunch of reasons but mainly because it didn't seem like i'd actually enjoy it. if you ever get the hankering for a really beautiful trip, may i recommend moab, utah. there are 12,000 foot mountains very close (like within 10 miles) but it's mainly about the high desert, colorado plateau, juniper and pinyon, navajo sandstone rock alcoves, etc.

i know there are a few of you coughdroppers who would enjoy a good disco mix, so i'm posting this here (downloads enabled so steal that shit, it's all ripped from vinyl and sounds really fucking good imho)

https://soundcloud.com/mattpiercedc/unicorns-i-have-known

the thing about living in the sticks though is you miss being around queer people. as disappointing as they can be.

i am lucky though in that ii have an amazing queer roommate. it's astonshing that she's 24 years old. she has so many qualities that inspire me. not every day you luck into a friend.

some actual tmi. i got a scruff message at 7:40 this morning asking to meet for coffee. it turned into a hike which turned into bajeejees. i came in the sun.

me at the mouth of *ahem* tusher tunnel

https://imgur.com/a/pXwiyt5

https://i.imgur.com/j07rplN.jpg

some actual tmi. i got a scruff message at 7:40 this morning asking to meet for coffee. it turned into a hike which turned into bajeejees. i came in the sun.

me at the mouth of *ahem* tusher tunnel

Robert Creely poen?

no but if you're interested i have some creely anthologies to sell you

happy 2019 ilx gays
http://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/1*0vrqj5Zn-jD4z0xOa6BBMw.jpeg

the last week has been especially fertile and kinky for me.

i'm seeing this boy who likes being a sub to my dom. he knows this major fetish/dom/leather player who runs parties etc. said player decided to vacation where we live for a few days staying at the hotel where my boy works so we all met for a threesome. he brought ... a leather straightjacket, an electro shock torture thingy, a paddle, a piss gag, tons of stuff that we didn't use. i discovered i'm enthusiastically into piss play. it was intense and cool and fun.

i wrapped a chain-lock necklace around the boy's neck the other night and that was all really hot. of course i'm not serious enough to take the key away. and then this morning some dude on a road trip from santa barbara to brooklyn hits me up and that ended up being really sexy and satisfying.

i'm on this trip where i'm not coming unless i'm with someone else, which is good inasmuch as it is making me reach out to other people more often. i genuinely feel better / more energetic. i mean obviously fuck alt-righters etc.

can i just say, it's really nice to have hot sex with someone you like

Yes I agree. I have been having some sex with a man I like very much

two thumbs up

cool. mine's too busy flyin' around.

I love having sex with men I like a little.

Martin Luther King said, shag who ye want and if anybody doesnt like it shag them too x

love good sex

:3

hi clouds!

i'm currently only experiencing "new boyfriend lives in another country" sex which is really good sex when i can get it

My boyfriend wants to relocate to Berlin for a year with me and I'm pretty sure it's because he wants to spend a year in a sling at the Berghain
I think I should marry this dude tbh

man, I sucked some nice nipples tonight

Sometimes -- there's a boy in a harness -- so quickly

isn't that an Elvis Costello refrain?

"I feel like a..boooyyy in a harrrnesss...."

tsk I was goin for Streetcar

boy in a harness
a taste of hairy nipple
lingers after dark

my bf's dick bled all over my face... from the outside not the inside. we never could find the cut and don't know how it happened but he was pretty freaked out for like 10 mins. we did spend a lot of time examining each other's urethral openings for comparison purposes. nonetheless the mystery continues

nut

omg that's scary xp!!!

So i was with this guy yesterday and i was fingering him (even tho this is the tmi thread this feels really wrong lol) and... he was WET. like, natural juices? is that a thing???? i was shocked!!!!

water left over from douching mixed with mucus probably

Ambergris and plum jelly ime

lol you guys are freaking me out, it was seriously so weird!

Ambergris and plum jelly ime

― flamboyant goon tie included, Monday, June 17, 2019 11:24 AM (three months ago) bookmarkflaglink

just howled

my favorite Beatles lyric

ty

I texted a friend:

“I wish your dick was a guillotine and my ass was the ruling class”

And he responded

“I wish my tongue was Nigel Farage and your taint was thinly veiled xenophobia”

Another thing the pandemic killed: this thread

okay i have decided that i need to go to a bathhouse. i find hookup apps weird and unappealing and really i just want two things: to suck some dicks and fuck some ass. T simply isn’t interested in getting penetrated, and since i can’t get penetrated any longer, I have developed a real desire to unleash my latent top on someone. preferably someone i never have to see ever again lmfao