classic or dud: making significantly less money than your partner

classic: well, at least one of you has money, probably live in a nicer place than you would otherwise, good birthday presents

dud: feeling of inferiority, (potential) loss of independence, source of conflict, feeling bad abt giving lousy birthday presents

Being a much better money manager than the higher-earning partner is a great leveler.

yeah thats a p good point, not having any money im ususally a lot more cognizant of how we spend it but i kinda h8 feeling like i have to 'contribute' in non-financial ways for 'things to be even' or w/e

def an issue in my life

but a subject I would talk about irl but not on a public msgboard

otm

yah fair enough,

lyfe

*shrugs*

it depends on the nature of the relationship, and often, at what point in the relationship this is the case, whether it's a temporary thing ... lots of variables.

It's reverse for me; I make peanuts, and my husband will never work ever again.

my wife makes $60,000 more than i do.

http://knowyourmeme.com/i/000/052/812/original/Deal_with_it_dog_gif.gif

Yeah, the gf has way more money than do I.

About to be in this situation, a little worried about it, but it fits my personality and career goals enough that I think it will be a net positive.

I am, however, pretty convinced that all her collegues are going to see me as a deadbeat slacker moocher.

this seems more common and less taboo post-great recession

This thread reminds me of this early Sixties US sitcom with Juliet Prowse. (Disclaimer: I haven't seen it.)

It's definitely less taboo now, though I think it doesn't help that I am ~an artist~ and that she is a ~serious professor of social science~.

I make less than my fiancee, but she is also paying for school part-time, so it sort of evens out? At any rate, it doesn't ever feel like she makes substantially more than I do, even though I can only dream of making what she makes.

My husband does get upset when I say that I'm supporting us, but he does come from a different generation from most of us here (except Aimless).

this used to be called "being a woman"

otm

"used to" not really all that used to when we are making 70-some cents on the dollar
still

I seriously wish my fiancée made significantly more than I do, because then we'd have money.

that said, i made more than my partner for a few years (he was freelancing, it slowly dried up, we were in school), then we were equal for a while, and now he outearns me on special projects (i do not have special projects)
our salaries are roughly equivalent though
in other words, not a problem, we still split everything in half like we did 10 yrs ago

x-posts Yeah, I know. I was going to add something to that effect but couldn't remember the numbers and figured this was more about huge differences in jobs/salaries between couples not gender-based differences in comparable positions.

yeah obv the disparity still exists but it's not unthinkable nowadays for women to be the breadwinners in a fam

i think in my head i have this distinction btw situations where both couples work & theres a large difference in how much they make & single-income couples, where one partner doesnt work by choice. like i think in the latter case theres still a lot of possible anxiety but the division is more clear-cut & probably agreed upon whereas in the former the dynamic is more... troublesome? idk.

i do think its still considered p abnormal for a woman to make a lot more than her (male) partner

Yeah but maybe that depends on exactly how much we're talking when we say "a lot".

I guess a relevant question is: does anyone here still feel like gender roles affect how much they contribute financially?

the difference --> maybe enough to justify certain lifestyle differences? (worrying about the cost of a $30 dinner-for-two in a restaurant vs that being an unremarkable and somewhat frequent event?)

Wouldn't bother me, I don't think, if she were okay with me making less because I'm using the excess mental energy to be creative (or more involved with a hypothetical kid, etc.) rather than just being 'you're a slacker.'