Where do you most often masturbate

on hard drives

I'd be lying if I didn't say it was in the refrigerator, hunched over a jar of mustard (grey poupon)

Why would I masturbate in my computer chair? I guess I don't find spreadsheets and email all that arousing!

sitting backwards on the toilet, often while looking into the open water tank

Tommy is sitting in the hammock furiously masturbating his cock and he looks awesome. That’s because his body is such a work of art. He’s tight all around and there’s no question that his sexiness is going to make you want to cum. Maybe you can blow your load when he does.

Tool Shed

Hi. I've been masturbating since I can remember. When I was about 5 or 6 years old, I found that if I sat on a hard surface, the leading edge tilted
up slightly, I could get a "tingler". I didn't know what it was and would do it in a room full of people. One day, I must have been about 10 or 11, I way playing in my yard and an older neighbor girl, Cindy, came by and joined me. After a while she told me she had just started to get pubic hair and did I want to see it. I didn't know what she was talking about but agreed. We went to a tool shed and she dropped her pants. I was quite amazed, had never seen a girl naked, but I knew they didn't have weeners. Then she told me to peel off my pants so she could see my dick. She showed me how to rub her and she played with my dick until I became very hard. I had never learned how to jack myself with my hand. She only had to stroke me a few times before I popped off but in a few minutes I was ready again...we spent the rest of the afternoon jacking each other off.
She moved away and I never saw her again.

- Sonny

usually start in the computer chair, move to the bathroom mirror and finish on the living room window.

church

onto my wife

onto your wife

Ziiiing

schwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing

...we spent the rest of the afternoon jacking each other off.
She moved away and I never saw her again.

LOL

Why would I masturbate in my computer chair?

Uh... if you have to ask, etc.

we used to have this desk chair in my dorm room back in the day that we called the sex chair. fucker saw more ass than a pornstar.

inner catholic compels me to here confess that my self-censored joke responses were fucking filthy and I am ashamed of them

no one would judge you if you said "armpit"

man that's a relief DJP. ok, I admit it. into Geir's armpit.

DJP please get on a plane and fly down here so I can tell you the rest of these really horrible never-live-it-down jokes

he'll promise to whisper them into your armpit.

if we just merge this thread with the thread "cobb salad" it'll save me a lot of time copying & pasting answers that apply to both threads

ON YOU FACE

Hi. I've been masturbating since I can remember.

I'm reading this as "I started at one point before I can remember and have been at it incessantly ever since down to the present moment"

into a yogurt machine

lol

I'm reading this as "I started at one point before I can remember and have been at it incessantly ever since down to the present moment"

How in the world did you find out about my high school years?

I remember the first time I ever did it....I was mostly confused as to what had just happened, as I hadn't yet taken the appropriate health classes in school

"Why did I do that? And now look!"

gateway fap

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

outdoors 2

kind of shocked at how low "shower" ranked?

Ya rly.

Glad nobody wrote in a vote for "at McDonald's"

Computer chair NINE?! Bloody 'ell lads, don't wear out the ws2011 thread

Also: car 8. What, while driving? o_O

Um . . . that's really really common.

When I was in HS and rode the bus to school (because it's so high you can see into the cars below) we'd see at least 5-10 guys jerking off over the course of a year.

I have a friend who keeps a small vibrator in her car to relieve boredom during traffic jams. OK, even I was a little surprised at that one but I sort of just thought the guy thing was p normal?

I think I did it once just as a novelty. This is not so common afaik. 'Road head' I think is much more common.

It may be common, but not to me. I've not heard of it being "common", but the eight votes prove me wrong. I'm under no illusions any more.

Road head lol

"shower" would've ranked very high for me when i was 15 or in my freshman year of college, but other than that...

from a dude's perspective at least, you have to be an extreme fetishist to jerk off most often in a car

I feel very normal now

yes, wtf @ car, that is bizarre. also thinking bed wouldn't be so common if laptops didn't exist

true

Sure it would, otherwise how could you fulfill the male need to get off and immediately fall asleep?

can somebody explain to me the mechanics of jerking off in a car. like where does the spunk go? does your gas pedal become so gummed up over time that you end up driving a death car (of spunk)

in a mountain dew bottle

the one that you didn't already fill with urine

Um...jesus God

Like shower now and then, bed most of the time...but car wtf how the hell can you drive safely. Like if you got in an accident and had spooge on your hand, on the stick shift, and steering wheel, what exactly would you say to the cop?

"I just sneezed?"

the mountain dew bottle comment was inspired by a few states that have laws that punish litterers more harshly if the bottles they threw out were filled with urine.

apparently this was a problem because people mowing the ditches next to interstate highways would occasionally hit a piss bottle and it'd blow up and occasionally soak the mower

hilarious 2 meh ^^^^

I'd rather piss my pants then try to piss into a small assed bottle.

Or pull over and pee on someone's house

people do all types of retarded shit in their cars, jerking off would rank right around "reading the newspaper", which ppl do

just do what my friend witnessed in the Philippines: in a traffic jam or even normal traffic, get out and piss next to your car and then get back in and continue driving

Not sure if you could do that for masturbation, although it'd solve the issue you outlined above

This reminds me, I have a friend with insanely bad driving habits and bad taste who is probably driving down the road while watching Dave Matthews: Live at the Gorge on a dvd player mounted on his dashboard as I type this!

I'm surprised you're all so shocked. Like I said - I've seen this quite a few times.

I once peed into a coffee cup in a car because I couldn't wait any longer. Not spilling a drop is one of my proudest accomplishments.

I should say I wasn't actually driving at the time.

That is even trickier for ladies! kudos.

XxxxxXXpost I mean ya but there's limits, man...

Like next you'll tell me there is group car sex w/ multiple cars involved

You've heard of a chinese fire drill? Well, if you do it with two cars, you can swap passengers every few blocks

As long as there's no between-car fluid exchange

Just thinkin of the children

the future children

This reminds me, I have a friend with insanely bad driving habits and bad taste who is probably driving down the road while watching Dave Matthews: Live at the Gorge on a dvd player mounted on his dashboard as I type this!

― mh, Sunday, June 19, 2011 9:55 PM

loooooool

Ya'll weren't fair to Tuomas by excluding a "w/ baby crib in room" optioÑ

L

"I would not jerk off in a car
I would not jerk off in a bar..."

could you, would you, with a goat?

otherwise how could you fulfill the male need to get off and immediately fall asleep?

Best feeling in the world, right there.

Sometimes you wake up if a woman's involved and she has to push you off of her