male split-stream pee - causes, management, appreciation

In some Jim Carrey movie, his character gets up to pee and his urine stream sprays out of control and he says, "Why am I peeing like I've been having sex all night?!" This is when I became aware of split-stream peeing, though I had experienced it many times before.

Why do we split-stream?
What is the connection w/ sex? Dried semen bifurcating the flow?
What are some of your most treasured split-stream memories?

Why do we split-stream?

usually some type of dryness/tackiness within the urethra, blocking off part of the opening

What is the connection w/ sex? Dried semen bifurcating the flow?

yes

What are some of your most treasured split-stream memories?

I have zero treasured memories, split-stream is a scourge and a menace

Sometimes a stray hair.

ftr I believe split stream happens to women, which is why some of them piss on the toilet seat when hovering

there's a punk band from i think toronto called DSA (dual stream action)

I figured women's urination was mostly of the split-stream variety b/c the meatus is not as prominent. Like how uncircumcised guys' stream is unpredictable unless they pull back the foreskin.

whenever I see the word "meatus" I get "Teenage Dirtbag" stuck in my head

every time I splitstream I just thank god it didn't back- or down-split at my pants, which has happened to me at least once

John Updike wrote something about this phenomenon, somewhere in his oeuvre.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xGtwy39QYY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyaLZHiJJnE

Ever have a full-on pee jam, like where you couldn't pee at all for some small amount of time? This happened to me a couple of times as a teenager -- very scary.

really why are we even allowed to pee standing up

http://www.youtube.com/user/peestandingup/videos

(dayo should esp click that)

The last time i lived with a girl, I respectfully put the seat down whenever i was done using the loo. She usually put it up for me. One day we disussed since we're both routinely changing the position, why not just leave it as is and we'd save ourselves the inconvenience? And that's when I learned she was leaving the seat up because thats how she usually used it. A well-placed finger or two kept things under control i'm told, although she never demonstrated to me in person. But she did refer me to this site: http://otoh.org/mirror/restrooms.org/standing.html, which at the time included the black-and-white digram shown here - I was told pressing outward with your fingers where the yellow dots are did the trick. She stood up most of the time except in some public washrooms, and only social disapproval made her antsy standing up everywhere. She was flummoxed this wasn't more commonplace.

this summer the jet stream has split into two separate streams
http://www.npr.org/2013/09/25/225754902/wild-weather-tied-to-unusual-jet-stream-activity

If you suffer from Male Urinary Bifurcation Disorder, ask your doctor about Uniflo

Male Urinary Bifurcation Disorder makes it sound like peeing splits yr penis in two