when you are being spooned by someone and have to FART!

if you can't fart on your boyfriend/girlfriend your relationship ain't shit

This really needed to be split into "and I am in a long-term relationship" vs "and I am not in a long-term relationship", more so than the gender options.

the greatest poll in the history of the internet

can't really say i recall this being an issue, but i'm pretty much always the outer spoon, so

as a teenager i had these two friends named dave who made a solemn vow that if ever they needed to fart under any circumstances they would just let it rip. (one of the daves also wondered aloud if willpower could overcome the instinct to not piss one's pants -- he pondered briefly then went inside to take a shower.) daves are hardcore ime

if the option is 'fart on someone' you take it

Farting on someone you love is one of the joys of being in a relationship

if i ever meet j (or you!) i'm gonna have to ask her about this

I'm making Kraftwerk lyrics out of the poll options.

we are spooning farters
*fart sound effects*
we are spooning farters
*fart sound effects*

Okay c'mon this totally depends; there are people I've spooned with once and would have or probably did fart on, and people I have spooned with dozens of times over several years and would totally not fart on ever

yeah, i realize now that i made a couple mistakes with this poll. emil.y's suggestion is on point, although i would have incorporated it rather than replacing the gender question entirely.

second, i kinda wish that i had phrased the responses "i would rather be woken up by someone shifting their spooning position on me" vs. "i would rather be woken up by someone farting on my genitals". or something. i don't know.

Thought of this poll several times last night

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Just fucking let it rip. I fart a lot. Everyone farts. It's hilarious and OK.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

The old "girls don't poop/fart" cliché is confirmed!

How is it confirmed? The only women who responded said they do fart. That's 100% of female respondents confirming that farting on your partner is best.

My gf gets furious when we are sleeping and she is all cuddled in next to me and i let them rip. Like I have any clue I am farting in my sleep. Dutch Ovens all day baby.

male, turn away, unless it's the kind I can release discreetly and blame on a dying rodent in the walls

there was one time I had helped my then-girlfriend stage manage a show and we were cuddled in a spoon position on the couch while we waited for the midnight show and I was the outer spoon and she accidentally jabbed me in the stomach which cause a chain reaction which made me rip one and then she jumped up and ran into the other room to tell everybody I farted on her

Only way to resolve this is by executing a dutch oven