Jesse McCartney still wows the ladies. I'm now able to tolerate Bowling For Soup.

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WEAK LOLS WITH AIMBOT

(06:48:57 PM) Hova He: holla at ya beyatch
(06:48:57 PM) Spleak: Hi, I'm Spleak, your guide to everything celebrity, from Lindsay Lohan to My Chemical Romance. What's your name?
(06:49:15 PM) Hova He: Your Royal Penis
(06:49:15 PM) Spleak: Very funny! I can't use that as your name, though, because... well... you know why I can't! Go ahead and give me another (more appropriate) name to call you...
(06:49:36 PM) Hova He: YOUR ROYAL COCK
(06:49:36 PM) Spleak: Very funny! I can't use that as your name, though, because... well... you know why I can't! Go ahead and give me another (more appropriate) name to call you...
(06:49:58 PM) Hova He: NOBLE PENIS
(06:49:58 PM) Spleak: Very funny! I can't use that as your name, though, because... well... you know why I can't! Go ahead and give me another (more appropriate) name to call you...
(06:50:16 PM) Hova He: NOBLE SOURCE OF LOVEGUNK
(06:50:16 PM) Spleak: Okay, I will call you NOBLE SOURCE OF LOVEGUNK. :) So... I'm a 21-year-old girl. How old are you?

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Lex, did you make it through to the end of the Jessica? It actually gets better. Also, "grating" might be one of the things that's good - or at least interesting - about "Push Your Tush," which is another one of the strangely ambitious mix-and-match tracks that the pop mainstream has been putting forth in the last couple of years: Gwen's "Hollaback Girl" and Jessica's "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'" being my two favorites, "Tush" being so-so. My main problem with Jessica is when she goes blah, which she does a lot on this album. She's also kind of bizarre when she tries to signify "sexy," as opposed to merely being sexy, which she's fine at. My favorite non-"Affair" tracks are "Between You And I," a slow-burning Mariah-goes-rock-n-roll ballad (though I wish it burned more), and, especially, the genuinely hot "Fired Up" - though it exhibits the sexy vs. "sexy" tension, since it's both: when she's just letting the voice loose, she is sexy, whereas when she goes breathy she's just camp. But it's a strong track, good rhythms and Asian orchestral riffs pulling it all together and basically making its flaws moot. Also real good are "I Don't Want To Care" (just a straightup slow sorrow dance) and "B.O.Y.," which as I'm listening I'm realizing may be even better than "Fired Up." It's an '80s-style dance track, smart use of freestyle backing riff, vocodors (there, but not too heavily), even breathiness, this time not blown in your face.