FROZEN CUSTARD FEVER DREAM

Latte night I had a 60 degree dream concerning vatsful of frozen custard penetrated by die-cut french fries and jigsawed runny chicken thigh bones. This all would have been fine, were it not for the dollops of gelatin-laden potato salad threatening to engulf my boyshorts.

NEXT!

Tattoos of tongue-depressed slices of febrile manhood threaten to engulf my suede brown pencilcase. Now I exist only as a memory to the elite sewage brokerages overflowing with boxes of burnt-out garanimals and overturned litterboxes affixed with Odie decals.

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1. Subway Talking Bun Puppet
2. Talking Alemania Blues
3. (Don't Keep) The Tissue Box

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Q: WHY THE GLOVES, WHY THE RUMPLED LID, WHY THE SHOES W/NO SOX?!!

A: Hamburger Magazine, April 1922. "Galaga am Radio"

Limited Edition Jump 'n' the Saddle Band edible foot massage oil (imitation deep blackberry flavor)

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Sista Souljah inaugurates the kickoff of her new protest album decrying Jump 'n' the Saddle Band's notorious "Shemp neglect" period

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Sistah Souljah adds fuel to cocaine-abuse rumors, calls Jump 'n' the Saddle Band "one trick ponies"

CRYSTAL JUMPSUIT

MACRO-FIBER OBLIQUE

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BACK ON THE MAP!

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Annnnnd done.

Thanks everybody, I'll probably be back here next week, same time, except I'll be drunk then! Bye now!