Yes or no

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Dear Sir,
I have recently become involved with a woman of 37. She has had
mental health problems since the age of 16, and is on meds for
this. She told me at times, she suffers mood swings which is part
of her illness. She has said that I should take not take the things
she says literally when she is unwell, and that what she says is
not meant. What advice would you give me, make or break? Thanks.

― John Banks, Sunday, 6 April 2003 14:21 (twenty-two years ago)

eleven months pass...

If you have to write in and ask about this for confirmation from, well, anyone, then you don't really love her enough to stand by her or through it. The question shouldn't be "make or break" but "what strategies should I learn about to cope with this for her sake and mine". She didn't ask for a mental illness, she was born with it, but don't fall into the trap of feeling like you have to be her 'hero', it rarely works out on these terms. She needs to find someone who already understands her illness from the beginning rather than fall more in love with you each day only to find you have been in two minds all along - that's not very fair is it? Anyway, just my own personal opinion ... Regards, S.

― SSS, Friday, 19 March 2004 04:33 (twenty-two years ago)

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