For a while now i have been questioning my stability in my mind and i still dont know wot is happening..... I used to have really violent dreams in which usually i would end up getting stabbed repeatedly and after waking up i would usually have the same dream but this time it would be in the room i was actually sleeping in then i would dream that actually fall asleep again and have the dream in the dream if this makes sense..... And again stabbed ! !
I also am a bit depressed and have tried suicide a couple of times and whilst out on christmas eve i was really down and actually thought about cutting my jugular .... These sort of thoughts are driving me mad because even though i sound like a complete nutta, i live in a small town and everyone knows me haha im like a celebrety around here and im always having a laugh and a giggle but dep inside im down and don`t know y....
Wen i was little my brother used to hit me about and my dad wasn`t that nice , we moved home to home never settled..... mum dad split we moved in wuith mums new fella brother bashed me with a iron pole ( 9 yrs old i was ) then we moved away agian with another new fella and then i saw my step sister die in front of my eyes...... brother was a junkie by this time and i lived with him stopped him od`ing a few times and put up with all his lies and so on e.t.c now i was wondering if this has anythiong to do with it but im sure i dealt with all that a long time ago ... i also love a drink .....! Wot do u think ? ? ? ?
― Nicol French, Monday, 26 December 2005 13:33 (nineteen years ago)
three months pass...
I am not a brain surgeon or a neurologist, but from what I understand, the subconcsious mind has alot to do with our concsious mind, and vice versa, and that our memories of physical and emotional experiences can be accessed easily by both concsious and subconscious. Dreams, the way that I percieve them, are made up of memories and extremely minute consciousness, so memories are played out on a seemingly concsious level. Dont look at the word Memories as full events, if u experience anything, it goes into memory, like the touch of grass or the smell or roses, you know, physical experience, and emotional experience is also stored in memory. Now, as for violent dreams, depression is most likely the cause of this, as you mentioned your rough past and suicidal thoughts. The chemicals that control our moods do so around the clock, when we are asleep and when we are awake. There are a few different types of these neurotransmitters, such as Seratonin and Norepinephrin, that control our moods, eating, sleep, pain and thinking. With depression, as you may know from first-hand experience, you may behave differently to the effect of your mood being sour, iritability, and suicidal ideation. What needs to happen here is you should consult your doctor and ask him/her if an antidepressant is right for you, and I suggest seeking professional therapy. A good antidepressant can help you with your nightmares, as nightmares of such intensity can be caused by your depression.
― andrew fort (sgtdisturbed), Friday, 21 April 2006 08:30 (nineteen years ago)