Why was i mourning over this?

I am not a brain surgeon or a neurologist, but from what I understand, the subconcsious mind has alot to do with our concsious mind, and vice versa, and that our memories of physical and emotional experiences can be accessed easily by both concsious and subconscious. Dreams, the way that I percieve them, are made up of memories and extremely minute consciousness, so memories are played out on a seemingly concsious level. Dont look at the word Memories as full events, if u experience anything, it goes into memory, like the touch of grass or the smell or roses, you know, physical experience, and emotional experience is also stored in memory. Now, it wouldn't strike me as strange if you are in some way afraid that you will be devistated if this person passed away and then you feel guilty that the memories you have of the person were mostly bad in nature. If you take emotion to a deeper level, under the shield that we build daily to keep ourselves from being hurt, you would be amazed that our emotions are much different when they are unrestrained, and in dreams, this can happen, we can experience emotions that we would seem out of character, but deep down, it is there. We are all more sensitive under our shields, and we are at times suprised at how we would feel if our shields were dropped and if the emotions were raw and pure.