Can you help me???

You need to let go of the conflict with your husband and accept that he truly loves you. Essential to this process is accepting your husbands role in whatever jeopardised your marriage, yes he allowed himself to become diverted, but he is with you now. You seem to be suffering from low self esteem to a degree, you dont seen to know why your husband stuck with you, take pleasure in the fact that he has. You are in a bar togeather for two reasons, firstly because youi have fealt the weight od tyour freinds opinions throughout this difficult patch, and fear embarasement. you are drinking because perhaps you associate alcahol with depression and escape, two things you associate with this incident