This was a three parter, and i'm pretty clear on the meaning of the first two parts but the last part baffles me, so that's all i'm including.
My mother and i are walking through an abandoned lot, ringed round by a fence with only two exits. I am telling her about how indie rockers tend to mature into enjoyers of classic rock. The ground is covered with blank books, all with the same pattern on the front, and i consider taking some for use as future diaries, but know the mater would disapprove of my picking up trash. A man appears at the exit hole in the fence, laughs heartily and we know he's going to hurt us. a second man appears. We turn for the other exit, but know that one of them will beat us there. I am thinking i want to get her out of there at any cost to self, but knowing that's perversely selfish. Anyhow, she is the one with her arm around me, making me move despite my fear. He throws something, it lands near us--some sort of contraption with a red light on it. Like the sort of weapon you'd see in batman and it would start emitting poisonous gas or something.
i wake up gasping.
― ann mccarthy (shiz), Thursday, 27 February 2003 18:08 (twenty-two years ago)
It is interesting to note that you concern yourself with documenting your life vis-à-vis “future diaries.” You are also concerned with your mother’s disapproval and feelings of being selfish concerning your mother. Your conversation is obviously about the maturing process.
You note that there are two exits to the lot; this appears to represent a decision that you feel that you need to make. Your mother is moving you toward one of the choices and you are frightened by what the other decision may hold.
You relate an indecision (“poisonous gas or something”) in what the weapon is emitting. This may reflect a general anxiety regarding your indecision, or it may indicate that the method in which the man is trying to harm you is merely a red herring. I am leaning toward the latter as I believe that the fear you feel in the dream is a general fear of mortality, as represented by the appearance of the second man.
The blank diaries coupled with the fear of mortality is suggesting to me that you feel that you are underachieving in what you perceive to be your chosen field. That your mother is disapproving regarding the diaries and that you call them “trash,” shows that you are having your own doubts regarding your chosen field and are looking to a different life-path, perhaps one that you find ‘safe.’
Because you have two other dreams that you have not told me that presage this one, you are telling me that you need reassurance. I am curious. Will you share the other dreams with me?
― Sigmund Freud (SiggyBaby), Monday, 3 March 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)
five years pass...