dunno if something can be both quirky and viscerally crushing but this is a thread of hatred so on we go. obv i am never watching The Revenant ever
― Laertiades (imago), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:34 (eight years ago) link
Even though I set-up the thread no one needs to follow all the rules (not that there are any hard-and-fast rules) so yeah defend if you happen to watch and like it. Obviously I'm saying 'no way' on the basis of a trailer or a review of it or what I hear about it. xp
― xyzzzz__, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:37 (eight years ago) link
The rams trailer made it look like quirky deadpan comedy but it's like straight tragedy. I liked it, probably in large part because it wasn't the former - as we were leaving my friend said "imagine if that had been a British film" and we both shuddered at the thought of the fucking michael gambon rhys ifans bullshit that would be
― anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:42 (eight years ago) link
youth really was pretty bad -- glacial male-artist sorrow (certainly the end of something or other, one would sort of have to think), that one guy who only plays quivering bureaucrats as a quivering bureaucrat, all dialogue clearly written but not spoken in esl which gave the whole movie such a stilted uncanny feeling i almost liked it. liked the giant marx tattoo i guess.
anomalisa was perfect on its own extremely limited and unpleasant terms.
the coens have been at the top of their career since burn after reading so i am very excited for this obviously slight one.
anyway, deadpool.
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:52 (eight years ago) link
The Revenant, The Danish Girl, the Dakota Fanning trans boy movie, most of the foreseeable superhero movies, Zoolander 2
― one way street, Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:56 (eight years ago) link
all of them
― mookieproof, Sunday, March 6, 2016 12:49 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
otm.
I am the Joey Chestnut of avoiding movies
― lute bro (brimstead), Sunday, 6 March 2016 21:58 (eight years ago) link
had no idea stone was making a snowden movie; that's unnecessary. idk if there's a scene in oliver stone's whole oeuvre better than the fire alarm sequence in citizenfour unless it's the one where joe pesci's wig comes off.
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:01 (eight years ago) link
Rams should be seen just for the awesome images of Iceland :) They have this whole boom of cheap films filmed around the countryside, using the landscape and many amateur actors. All of the films have names like Rams, Sparrows, Volcano, Virgin Mountain, Of Horses and Men. It's a style, kinda.
Yeah, Youth is pretty bad. Sorrentino has only made 'big-male-sorrow' films. His last three films were male-artist-sorrow, but before that it was politician and mafiosi. It's definitely the biggest failing of his filmography, and Youth is really doubling down on it. The guy is still just 45, why are all his films about men growing old and irrelevant? But he is a good picture-maker, and Youth has good pictures.
― Frederik B, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:42 (eight years ago) link
When Tree of Life came out the local alt-weekly ran two reviews: "I Saw The Tree of Life, and I Loved It" and "I Didn't See The Tree of Life, and I Hated It." I'll always love Badlands and should get around to watching The Thin Red Line but nothing after that has had much appeal.
― JoeStork, Sunday, 6 March 2016 22:51 (eight years ago) link
The only 'my god what rubbish' reaction I've had to a trailer recently was for The BFG, but after the disaster of Tintin I was unlikely to see another Spielberg kids' movie anyway.
The trailer for Hail, Caesar pretty much gives the entire movie away - and does so in a far snappier fashion than the film itself. Ralph Fiennes is the standout turn in H,C but even that wasn't enough to make me see A Bigger Splash, especially after I read a really arsey interview w/ the director in Sight and Sound.
And yes, Youth was unrecoverable in any coherent critical way as a 'good' movie, but it's not an especially interesting bad movie either. The corollary of its male-artist-sorrow is a gross sexism and general disregard for any of the female characters (Rachel Weisz and Jane Fonda probably give the best performances in the film, but they're marginalised and trivialised when set against mouldy Michael Caine and mumbling Harvey Keitel). Also thought This Must Be The Place was a turd, so yeah, it def feels like Sorrentino loses something quite crucial when working with an English Language script.
― Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:06 (eight years ago) link
The Big Fucken Giant. Never saw Tintin but I will do my duty and watch it as part of the big Spielberg project. But I get to stop at Bridge Of Spies, then my commitment ends, so the BFG can G the F O.Never watched Avatar, Titanic, Independence Day, any Jurassic Park sequels, I watch a hella lit of bad ibdies but I can't be bothered with that shit.Still Alice, my mother keeps trying to show me and I am "no thank you"
― Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Sunday, 6 March 2016 23:58 (eight years ago) link
Fast/Furious films, Saw films, TV spinoffs...
― Jonathan Hellion Mumble, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:01 (eight years ago) link
The director of A Bigger Splash is Luca Guadagnino who made the quite good I Am Love, so def seeing A Bigger Splash.
I watched Synecdoche New York two days back and decided to give Anomalisa a pass.
― Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:06 (eight years ago) link
guys if you're not hating on days of heaven you're hating malick wrong
― carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:27 (eight years ago) link
its like if you're really going to hate oasis you can't just start hating with 'be here now'. you have to commit to your hate. it's like hating only the late u2: fuck that.
― carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:28 (eight years ago) link
i am love is a garbage movie for garbage people
oh my god rain on a statues face it looks like the statue is crying fuck me did your 5yo cowrite this thing
― carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:29 (eight years ago) link
anomalisa is a great title for a mediocre mid-90s indie record
dlh's thing on youth and esl kinda makes me want to see it, or at least make a movie that uses the same trick to some effect
― carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 00:30 (eight years ago) link
Non-english speaking people has been doing this for decades.
― Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:54 (eight years ago) link
'Oh look at this stupid director, he isn't even a native English speaker, and he still thinks he can make a global film! lol, what a weirdo.'
― Frederik B, Monday, 7 March 2016 00:55 (eight years ago) link
'Meanwhile, isn't Eddie Redmayne amazing as a Dane, let's give him all the oscars!'
i think there was more to dlh's claim than that tbh
― carly rae jetson (thomp), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:19 (eight years ago) link
Anything with "today's comedy superstars" US version - people I generally find unfunny (Louis CK, Tina Fey, The Amy's Schumer and Poehler) ---everything I've seen them in up to now a resounding dud so no thanks.Anything by Lanthimos"Anomalisa" was a real chore.
― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:48 (eight years ago) link
Also - no more Baumbach. Or Ben Stiller ( he just seems fed up in everything).
― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Monday, 7 March 2016 01:49 (eight years ago) link
obv non-native english speakers direct movies in english all the time. feel like writing movies in english is at least rarer but of course there is nothing silly about that either. it can just be noticeable is all, and when your leads have voices as distinct and culturally situated as michael caine and harvey keitel it's more noticeable. you sometimes see a milder version of this quality when yanks/brits write for brits/yanks.
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 7 March 2016 09:35 (eight years ago) link
or when woody allen writes for anyone.
― denies the existence of dark matter (difficult listening hour), Monday, 7 March 2016 09:52 (eight years ago) link
Youth was so wack
― anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Monday, 7 March 2016 12:19 (eight years ago) link
Youth and A Bigger Splash are both showing at the local arthouse but they both sound so boooring. Youth in particular and not even a Maradona cameo can make it appealing.
Anomalisa is great and everyone should watch it btw
― i;m thinking about thos Beans (Michael B), Monday, 7 March 2016 15:12 (eight years ago) link
It isn't the 'real' Maradona in Youth, fwiw
― Chicamaw (Ward Fowler), Monday, 7 March 2016 15:37 (eight years ago) link
Kinda looking forward to nu-Malick. Partly because I haven't caught anything he has put out at the cinema so I didn't get annoyed. Plus the new one has good post-cinema conversation potential.
Oliver Stone's Snowden thing
What's the point of that?!
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 10:12 (eight years ago) link
story ticks so many Stone boxes he probably feels obliged to run thru the motions
― Szechuan TV (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 8 March 2016 10:45 (eight years ago) link
As long as he can shoehorn in the Cuban gay mafia its ok I guess.
― xyzzzz__, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 16:42 (eight years ago) link
Gonna pay p close attention to my studious avoidance of Christopher Nolan's ouevre from now on, I think I might not watch interstellar this week
― Ecomigrant gnomics (darraghmac), Tuesday, 8 March 2016 16:46 (eight years ago) link
Tom Hiddleston double; High-Rise/I Saw The Light
― calzino, Tuesday, 8 March 2016 19:44 (eight years ago) link
High Rise (Ben Wheatley, 2015) - say no to adaptations of unfilmable books. Can see why greats like Nic Roeg left this alone for a guy who I see has directed television to pick up.
― xyzzzz__, Friday, 18 March 2016 11:08 (eight years ago) link
I see nic roeg has directed television
― anglos with derpy phasis (wins), Friday, 18 March 2016 11:11 (eight years ago) link
A lot of it in the mid-90s. Britpop was a tough time for everybody.
― xyzzzz__, Friday, 18 March 2016 11:19 (eight years ago) link
I don't see how High Rise is unfilmable tbh
― i;m thinking about thos Beans (Michael B), Friday, 18 March 2016 16:46 (eight years ago) link
a guy who I see has directed television
lol at being bothered to research Wheatley enough to know this, but not bothered enough to consider his actual film work.
But hey, it's the negative thread so carry on as you are. Sadly I can't think of any more current things to hate on, I'm sure I will be back soon though.
― emil.y, Friday, 18 March 2016 17:37 (eight years ago) link
Wasn't doing "research", just looked at a couple of wiki pages.
While everyone else wasted their time on British cinema I watched Manoel De Oliveira's last film. A real, proper film.
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:26 (eight years ago) link
One single screening #RIPCinema
― xyzzzz__, Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:29 (eight years ago) link
:D
― Laertiades (imago), Saturday, 19 March 2016 09:50 (eight years ago) link
Wheatley's "A Field In England" is freaky brilliance. Am looking forward to watching "High Rise".
― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 19 March 2016 10:34 (eight years ago) link
^that's not the spirit! ;)
― Laertiades (imago), Saturday, 19 March 2016 11:45 (eight years ago) link
Ok! Here's one: Am avoiding the ugly Batman/Superman bs by that auteur-for-bros Zach Snyder
― Acid Hose (Capitaine Jay Vee), Saturday, 19 March 2016 12:41 (eight years ago) link
That French film that isn't about Florence Foster Jenkins
― Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Saturday, 19 March 2016 14:11 (eight years ago) link
Do you mean 'Frears'?
― Frederik B, Saturday, 19 March 2016 14:23 (eight years ago) link
Haha omg just realised that there's an actual ffj biopic coming out as well! Not seeing that either tbh
― Rainer Weirder Faßbooker (wins), Wednesday, 23 March 2016 21:14 (eight years ago) link
He, yeah, and it's directed by someone whose name could have been an auto-correct from French. I still don't really get what film you're talking about, though?
― Frederik B, Wednesday, 23 March 2016 21:36 (eight years ago) link
We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?
― omar little, Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:38 (one year ago) link
I'd forgotten all about eddie redmayne
― omar little, Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:39 (one year ago) link
i'm just sick and tired of hollywood's constant perpetuation of negative danish stereotypes. it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part, but nobody understands or wants to acknowledge just how much harm danephobic stereotypes in the media have done to danish people for decades now.
― Kate (rushomancy), Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:40 (one year ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHQojhNjnks
― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:43 (one year ago) link
lol beat me to it
― Boris Yitsbin (wins), Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:46 (one year ago) link
Hollywood has always been envious of Danish culture, so they lean on those stereotypes as a sort of Copenhagen mechanism
― Evan, Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:49 (one year ago) link
good lord
― rob, Tuesday, 26 September 2023 20:51 (one year ago) link
We've had what the Red Hot Cheetos movie, the beanie babies movie, tetris, blackberry, what other bullshit am I forgetting?― omar little, Tuesday, September 26, 2023 4:38 PM bookmarkflaglink
― omar little, Tuesday, September 26, 2023 4:38 PM bookmarkflaglink
Air Jordans movie, two different Ferrari movies, two direct-to-streaming Fyre Festival docs, various direct-to-streaming miniseries about things that were interesting when someone shared an Atlantic or VF piece on ILX (ex. McDonald's Monopoly scandal) but which cannot sustain unlimited padding, and about four hundred thousand direct-to-streaming docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists.
― not the one who's tryin' to dub your anime (Doctor Casino), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 00:49 (one year ago) link
docs on justly forgotten movies/shows/toys that would have been unbearable even as twenty-minute YouTube reports by talented amateur video essayists
wait this is pretty much all i watch, if any of these are even a quarter as good as "Ranking Anime Denny's" i'm fucking in
― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 01:14 (one year ago) link
I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.
― Daniel_Rf, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 07:26 (one year ago) link
it's not as bad as it used to be, for the most part
https://i.imgur.com/wCyhTqh.jpg
― difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 27 September 2023 07:31 (one year ago) link
I think doc is more thinking about crap like The Toys That Made Me, the tmnt episode of which I grudgingly sat through. Obviously if netflix gave hazel a deal that'd be rad.― Daniel_Rf
― Daniel_Rf
yeah i remember when that came out and i was like "that sounds interesting" and i never watched it, i guess it wasn't interesting
i genuinely love "wallpaper television" like "how it's made" though. you know, it's like some kids are with videos of construction equipment
― Kate (rushomancy), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 14:51 (one year ago) link
that stuff would be ok if it was done "slow TV" style, can't be doing with excitable talkovers tho
― Steve Bully IX (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 14:55 (one year ago) link
see also: Billy Nighy shut up and let me just watch the train journey
― Steve Bully IX (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 27 September 2023 14:56 (one year ago) link
yeah, one of the worst things about almost all television is overactive narrators, especially when they're supposed to be funny/cheeky/zany. for example, there are many horrible things about Love Island, but deleting the narrator is the single thing you could do that would most reduce the suffering of watching it, or passing through a room where it's on.
― not the one who's tryin' to dub your anime (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 28 September 2023 12:09 (eleven months ago) link
This is quite late but I did see a trailer for Maestro before Fallen Leaves some weeks ago and had a real "who in the world would be interested in this?" reaction.
Also, currently discussed on the anti-semitism thread, had one look at One Life poster at a bus stop and that was enough to know this was going to be one to avoid.
― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 5 January 2024 15:45 (eight months ago) link
anything directed by bradley cooperanything directed by matthew vaughn
― ivy., Wednesday, 7 February 2024 18:48 (seven months ago) link
bradley cooper seems like the new eddie redmayne, the young star oscar voters want to pinch the cheek of
― formerly abanana (dat), Thursday, 8 February 2024 06:41 (seven months ago) link
He's 49!
― Daniel_Rf, Thursday, 8 February 2024 10:49 (seven months ago) link
That's almost a budding prodigy relative to many voting members of the Academy.
― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Thursday, 8 February 2024 13:39 (seven months ago) link
I can't bring myself to watch Wicked Little Letters despite quite a few people telling me it's good - balanced by one friend walking out of it after less than half an hour.
― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Tuesday, 19 March 2024 09:23 (six months ago) link
"Best British comedy film of the year" blurb makes it sound v unappealing.
― Daniel_Rf, Tuesday, 19 March 2024 09:27 (six months ago) link
I seem to remember very very early press was dreadful then suddenly switched arcs to 4* across the board.
― Hello I'm shitty gatsworth (aldo), Tuesday, 19 March 2024 09:38 (six months ago) link
Harold and the Purple Crayon
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harold_and_the_Purple_Crayon_(film)
Live action and Harold is an adult.
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 30 March 2024 07:39 (five months ago) link
Sounds like somebody decided to make a male Barbie.
― Stevo, Saturday, 30 March 2024 10:14 (five months ago) link