Movie pet peeves

i hate when action scenes NEVER ONCE cut to a master shot. nothing but disembodied close-ups.

too much talking is a problem too--esp voiceover (i hated hated hated Wings of Desire because of all the talking)

B...b...b...but...GODFATHER I'S ENDING, FERCRISSAKES!!!

Number one has always been a huge problem for me as well (not Godfather I, but pet peeve one, the "babysitter music". It's the main reason I can't watch Hollywood films without laughing or getting nauseous. It's just manipulative as hell, and is such a cop out. There are plenty of directors (bergman, ozu, kiarostami, cassavettes come to mind immediately) who have been able to bring forth incredibly moving scenes without relying on music. it's also an insult to a good actor, because it's pretty much saying "your performance isn't powerful enough on its own to hold the scene & affect an audience."

i've never been able to go as far as brakhage in dismissing sound altogether (or even music altogether---diagetic music, coming from a radio for instance, can be used to good effect), but it shouldn't be used as a manipulative tool--god knows Hollywood has enough of those already.

2. The one-of-everything team, in which a group of plucky scientists, let's say, incorporates an unrealistically perfect variety and balance of ages, races, and types.

3. People who just had life-changing sex--or almost any kind of sex, really, except maybe long-married sex--getting out of bed wearing their underwear.

That's just for starters.

Just use numbers w/o area codes, maybe?

L-shaped bedsheets. You know, how the woman's always comes up to her chest and the guy's goes down to his waist? And of course they've been married for 20 years. So obviously she'd still be modest about these things...

Slow motion, all of it.

The slow motion assembley of a sniper rifle.

Bad hats -- see Kafka , 3000 Miles To Graceland, anything by Alan Rudolph.

Women dressed as men *with* fake facial hair -- see Charlies Angels, Hook, Hedwig.

Spark explosions -- the most unspectacular "spectaluar" effect ever.

Burlap in sci-fi -- see The Matrix trilogy, Waterworld, The Postman, Soldier etc.

Most American Indie movie "scores".

Neon used to "jazz up" an interior set -- see Soldier, many, many 80's movies.

Mobiles in the future -- see CD mobile in Soldier, 5th Element

Shafts of light in any Spielberg movie post Raiders.

Wavy permed hair. It doesn't look good in real life and it sure as shit doesn't in the movies.

Gratuitous hand held camera.

Shot of a guy getting punched repeated for "effect" -- see all early VanDamme.

Ending with a crane shot of a disaster area.

and....

Julie Andrews.

2. A long shot from behind the actor's so that we get a sense of the weighty gravity that is the actor's burden.

3. Multisyllabic dialogue.

4. Dialogue that explains the themes of the film.

this doesn't happen nearly enough!

4. Dialogue that explains the themes of the film

argh yes this is like your mum telling you to clean your room when you were already going to do it!

but um, a lot of these things are cliched as cliches.... fruit cart? l shaped sheets? nobody does this anymore! unless they are mocking it (see:waynes world 2 plate glass/watermelons/chicken thing, and that was 10 yrs ago)

2. People secretly peering at the enemy. Why can't the enemy see them?

3. People chasing after vehicles on foot. Does that happen in real life? If so, does anyone ever catch the vehicle?

GOD that makes me want to go beserk.

It always seems to be used in a scene where two people are arguing. Suddenly, a cut to the dog's puzzled face. AARRGGHH.

Two (awful) films I can think of that use it are Coming to America and As Good as it Gets.

Simple pet peeve -- People carrying suitcases that are always empty. Annoying.

I've seen Coming To America like a dozen times and I don't remember there being a dog reaction shot in it... guess I'll have to watch it again.

a) A fundamentalist stands on the edge of a rooftop and reveals a thick belt of dynamite (A BOMB) around his waist. William L Petersen tries to talk him out of blowing himself up while his partner sneaks in and tries to grab the guy. Unfortunately, the guy falls off the roof and explodes in midair (A huge SPARK explosion, no less!). Both men then wipe the sweat from their brows and decide to go for a beer as if a crazed man didn't just die in a fireball right in front of their eyes.

b) Cut to a man who jumping off a very high bridge. We are meant to think that this is a suicide attempt (he's actually on a bungee cord), only as he falls he has his eyes wide open and is shouting "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA", as suicides certainly often do.

I always fall asleep halfway through Q : The Winged Serpent, even though I love it.

I know this should have its own thread, but:

a)William L Pedersen escorts John Turturro out of jail on the proviso that they are visiting Turturro's daughter in hospital. In the hospital elevator, Pedersen removes Turturro's handcuffs and they walk out into the corridor. Pedersen then asks where the daughter is, only for Turturro to turn around and quickly say what sounds like "she's in the park with all the other monkeys!" (I rewound it three or four times and I'm still not sure), and punch Pedersen in the face before weirdly clapping his hands onto either side of his head.

b)There are lines like "If you're looking for a pigeon, try the park" and "If it's bread you're after, go fuck a baker".

c)There is a weird scene where William L Pedersen, Willem Dafoe, and Jon Pankow are all changing in the locker room. Pankow is naked in the foreground and bends over right in front of us so that we are treated to a lingering butt shot. There is an inexplicable bruise on his left buttock which has nothing to do with the story.
SPOILER BUT WHO CARES: Pedersen also dies in a locker room (the same one?). There is some kind of message there but I'm not sure what it is. And yet more amusing nudity - one scene features Pedersen's penis in bold but apparently accidental silhouette.

d)To Live And Die In LA has the most confusing and nonsensical final shot of any film I have possibly EVER SEEN. I watched the alternate ending on the DVD, and that was clearly the second most confusing and nonsensical ending I have ever seen.

Also, the teacher is in the middle of a sentence when the bell rings. The students all get up and leave immediately, Pavlovian. The teacher's mouth is still open; he/she is helpless. If he/she even bothers to sputter out a homework assignment, it's as the students are already halfway out the door and not listening. I mean, I'd make sure the students weren't excused until I finished what I needed to say -- but apparently, in movies you just can't fight the bell! (Also, what about college classes that have bells?!?)

I had a geography teacher like this. But ALL my teachers had British accents, so maybe that doesn't count?

* Air Force One & Independence Day : Both presidents in these movies are portrayed as winners of the Congressional Medal of Honor, for reasons unknown (to establish their toughness credentials without question ?)... Anyhow: 90% of your CMH winners are dead, they're not pilots and I doubt if a CMH winner would even be electable considering the amount of killing a living CMH winner would have to do. Other than that, what the hell...

* The Last Castle : A 3-star general is sentenced to three years at a military prison. You lost me there.... In the entire history of the military (and I'm talking about ALL TIME) there's never been an officer of that rank doing a stitch of time, I don't care WHAT he
did (including the idiot who sent all the Union soldiers into that
crater in Cold Mountain)... Other than that, what the hell...

Someone close to the main character (his partner/sibling/fiancé/friend) dies in front of his eyes. He's sad for a moment, but then continues whatever he was doing (chasing the bad guys etc.), even if he is a normal person, and not someone who'd be well equipped facing death (like a soldier, or a cop). I think real life seeing someone die in front of your eyes, even if he was a stranger, would cause you to go into shock and not be able to do anything for quite a while.