The Worst Movie of All-Time!!!

Ryan - I have to ask (and we can take it to a separate thread if necessary) -- why your disdain for 21 Grams? I saw it for a second time just yesterday, and I think I appreciate even more than I already did.

more than anything it was the relentless miserablism and shitty, shrill performances (i usually like all the actors), the pointless shuffled chronology (does the film gain anything from that?), the ugly, ugly, ugly cinematography, the horrible pretentiousness of it (even if you liked the film can anyone defend that last shot?). every character is selfish and lame and boring and not worth one iota of thought from anyone.

i believe people can maybe get a lot out of that movie. i didnt. i thought it was a bit patronizing towards art-house audiences, making them feel like shit so that they can feel purged of some imaginary liberal guilt. completely pointless.

maybe one day i will try it again but i need a long time to recover so i can try to be objective! (i did have a roaring headache at the time i saw it so...)

Best of the Best 2: indulgent, vigilantist martial arts action at it's most disgusting.

Police Academy 6: every episode of PA series is worse than the previous. The first one was watchable, number 6 is simply horrible. PA 7 is probably even worse, but I haven't had the guts to see it.

It's not that bad.

This is probably the funniest thing I've ever read!

I have to admit that all of the above are some of my guilty pleasures--and I just can't bring myself to hate anything that Steve Martin is in; the man is a genius.

Also, I saw a horror movie about a killer snowman once that was horrendously bad, but I can't remember the name.

I live in Burlington, VT & we have a fantastic indie video store called "waterfront video". half of the store is foreign & indie films, they actually have a fairly large avant-garde/experimental section & they have a sign-up sheet for requested movies, most of which they'll have in the store less than a month after you request them. it's like a home away from home!

that might make for an interesting topic: "your favorite video store and why?"

My nominee would be (affectionately) Pink Flamingos or (unaffectionally) probably Manos, Hands of Fate. I mean, honestly, at least almost all of the above films have production values on par with their ambitions/genre/plot. Really, almost any MST3K film minus MST3K.

regards,

REB

youve got mail is not really bad at all

I think "worst movie" has taken on values of not only bad production values/poor acting/etc. (i.e. MST3K films minus MST3K), but also to include excessive production, overratedness, degree of heartstring pulling/emotional manipulation, etc. which is fine by me--this kind of crap sticks in my craw more than the failures made by a filmmaker working on a small budget with a small crew.

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

Never laughed so hard, August 27, 2001
Reviewer: mooncave from Gifu-shi, Gifu-ken Japan
This movie is, quite frankly, absolutely appalling. It is also, however, possibly one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Like most of the other reviewers, I watched it simply because I'm a Dylan fan, and it's only because of the fact that I enjoyed it as much as I did. Dylan's ludicrous performance is so breathtakingly bad that it achieves a rare kind of...genius? perfection? I'm not sure how to describe it. But no matter how bad Dylan is, he is nevertheless by far the best part of this stupefyingly bad film (apart from Rupert Everett's terrifying mullet, that is). Skinny-dipping with Fiona, taunting an audience in England, punching out 'handsome' Rupert (in what is the best/worst ever punch in cinematic history - I must have rewound it 20 times) and languidly trashing a hotel room, Dylan is all over the shop, seemingly so bored he doesn't know where to look. Then, right at the end, after the blind girl pulls a gun on Rupert (don't ask) and Fiona 'rocks' her hometown (joined onstage, of course, by Dylan, who throws a cigarette at her), Bob performs a fragment of what sounds like am incredibly obscure little gem, something I've never heard or heard of before and which alone justified sitting through the rest of this turgid movie. All in all, 'Hearts of Fire' is worthwhile if you're a Dylan fan, if only to see your idol brought down so low. And to have a good laugh.

it's almost enough to make one doubt Dylan's genius altogether when you consider his utter failure as a writer ("tarantula"), screenwriter ("masked and anonymous") and director ("renaldo and clara") his editing of "eat the document" was amateurish at best, like an overly-bright freshman year film student trying to explore eisensteinian montage techniques for the first time.

but then i listen to "desolation row" and all is forgiven...

No, geek. You suck.

And I would never say that anything or anyone "sucked". Vulgar americanism....would you be a vulgar american, my friend? do you, in fact, suck?

also, i'm just amazed by how much the stones initially allowed to have filmed. it seems tame in comparison to the marilyn manson and g.g. allin videos of today, but that was a pretty graphic film for the day--orgies on the private jet, people shooting heroin, mick jagger snorting lines of coke, keith richards getting the heroin nods. ...

i guess all of the drug use explains why they allowed all the filming to continue--they probably were not even aware of the camera. god knows as soon as they had their moment of clarity, they were in the courtroom fighting to keep the film from being released.

it never ceases to amaze me that keith richards is still alive....

You forgot to put a period between the words "classic" and "of," and actually the last two words appear to have come out of nowhere.

Because the worst film of all time is a black and white, no budget, indie flick called "Moon light by the Sea", which I recently saw at a film fest. Oh sure, you might think you've seen bad films. I did too. So did the people who endured this movie with me. We all figured that we'd been exposed to the worst of the worst. But, seriously, we all agreed we'd rather spend 90 minutes in a dark dungeon than sit through this ever again (and I'm not making this up).

Such lines from the characters, near the end, as "please make it stop" and "will this never end?" had us all laughing (we later discovered the director was sitting behind us). If anyone were to ever do a scientific test of the worst films ever made, this would come out on top every time.

Runners Up:

The Hulk
Moulin Rouge
Armageddon and indeed everything carrying the legend "directed by Michael Bay"
True Lies
Cat in the Brain

"Showgirls" does not qualify as one of the worst films ever because

A) It's never boring
B) It has tits (thus stopping it being boring)

And I'd add Anaconda, except there's one scene where they apparently didn't bother to shoot film of the boat backing out of a part of the river, so they just ran the entry footage in reverse. You almost wouldnt't have noticed except for the giant waterfall in the background... I'd love to have been a fly on the wall at the pitch meetings for putting a Superbit version of that on DVD.

Worst movie I ever paid to see in a theatre? Tie: "Cabin Boy" (one laugh) and Abel Ferrara's "Fear City" (vile)

Aronofsky's own work can be insufferable, but B-grade video directors ripping him off (Spun) is just wrong.

and that's a shame, because weekend at bernie's was a CLASSIC

Nothing worse than a bad comedy, so Skidoo and Which Way to the Front come immediately to mind.

Cheaper by the Dozen II is on the way. The NY Times suggested yesterday that SM is becoming Dean Jones.

I really hope EH was talking about the Falk-Woody TV remake of Sunshine Boys.

It's not really the worst in the sense that it's the most artistically bankrupt, but listing those titles isn't a whole lot of fun.

i say

Beowulf ('99)

Hmm... just started this last night. I think this is a flawed take, there is a strong story with symbolic imagery, maybe it's a little too buddhist for the poster named "Baby Buddha"?

Is there an ILE thread? Discus.

I don't remember much about Scent of Green Papaya. Is that by the Cyclo lady? I really liked Cyclo.

my personal long despised are Fight Club and the Fifth Element; the Pillow Book is one of the few I've walked out on.
If only I could remember all the films I've come away from saying they were the worst movie ever made. Recent-ish that would include White Noise (I wouldn't have gone if I'd realised it was Michael Keaton, not Dennis Quaid).
Haven't seen Swept Away, can it be worse than Body of Evidence?
Three Men and a Baby? Look Who's Talking Too?(?)
A movie where an alien goes into the body of some sub-Billy Crystal type who then takes the whole movie trying to get laid or understand romance or something, I (mostly) watched it on telly when alone at xmas, ugh. Similarly that movie where Tim Allen gets a son from the Amazon and takes him to live in New York, though I fund it horribly compelling.

Why do people hate 8mm? This surprises me. Was it the nastiness of it? I haven't seen it since it came out.

also: Good Will Hunting