IS CHAKI REALLY AS "COOL" AS HE PURPORTS TO BE

I MEAN, MY FUCKING CAPS LOCK KEY IS STUCK IN A DOWN POSITION, FOR SQUAWK'S SAKE! IF THAT DOESN'T SAY ENOUGH, THIS CAT IS PARADING AROUND AS SOME SORT OF FRONTMAN FOR A SHITTY 70'S SOFT ROCK GROUP WHOSE ALBUMS ARE PROBABLY ALL OUT OF PRINT BY NOW. I TRY TO THINK FOR THE TRANSIENTS IN THE LEGAL STALLS, BUT HECK, EVEN THEY DON'T DEVISE SPURIOUS BAGBOYS FOR INCONGRUOUS THOUGHTS. I SAY IT'S ALL A SCAM TO RIP OFF ELDERLY WOMEN AND GET THEM TO DONATE THEIR LIFE SAVINGS TO SCIENTOLOGY INTERNATIONAL, A FINE ORGANIZATION, DON'T GET ME WRONG, BUT FUKKIT IF THEY HAVEN'T SWALLOWED TOO MANY RITALIN PILLS! ANYWAY, I AIN'T HAVING IT, SON, I AIN'T HAVING IT. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO KILL ME FIRST. NOW, WAIT, I AIN'T ATTEMPTING TO CREATE A BIG SITUATION HERE, THIS IS ALL REAL, ALL AMERICAN, 100 PERCENT RED MEAT BEEF STEAK PATE. YOU NEED TO STEP CLEAR, TURN ON THAT FIREHOSE, AND ENTER THE CYANIDE DREAMS, KID. 4 REEL.