Official I Love Cricket Joe the Plumber Fanfic/FAQ Thread

o ha im retarded

you at scoopsnoodle dot com

i propose changing I Love Cricket's name to I Love Joe The Plumber

Propsal: denied.

Q: Does Joe the Plumber have any pets?

A: Yes, he has a dog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDX1IT1o3AI

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/06ub92VdIAaSu/610x.jpg

Q: What's his dogs name?

A: Labrador the Retriever

Q: Is Joe the Plumber related to Michael Chiklis of hit TV show "The Shield"?

A: No, he is not

Ginny laid her hand on Joe the Plumber's chest and panted. "That was truly one of your better efforts."
"Of course it was, Weasley. I can't have you telling all your Gryffindor pals that I suck in bed, now can I?" Joe the Plumber leaned over and nipped at a still-erect pink nipple.
Ginny gave a little moan and ran her fingers through Joe the Plumber's silver hair. "You're worried about what I might say about you?"
Joe the Plumber made a face at her. "Of course not...I'm too happy right now to worry about anything."
"Oh Joe the Plumber...I didn't know you enjoyed yourself THAT much..."
"Well..." Joe the Plumber chuckled. "I did enjoy myself, but there are a few other things that I'm looking forward to..."
Ginny sat up, eyes gleaming expectantly. "Oooh, do tell me!"
"So sorry, my little red rose, but I'm afraid not. You may be one hell of a good lay, but you're still in Gryffindor."
Ginny scowled. "What does that have to do with anything?" Her features softened into a sassy little smile. "Well then, maybe I can persuade you..."
There was a slight hitch in Joe the Plumber's breath as she lightly bit the base of his neck. "It's not going to work, you know." But he did nothing to stop Ginny as she licked her way down his torso, and stopped thinking altogether as she continued lavishing her considerable skills upon his willing flesh.
******
Hermione sighed and closed another book. She wasn't finding anything that sounded remotely like the curse cast on Seamus, and she didn't know what to tell Harry.
She suddenly felt a fluttering kiss on the back of her neck and smiled. "Ron..." she breathed.
Ron sat down next to her with a slightly pouty look on his face. "How'd you know it was me?"
"As if anyone else would start kissing my neck in the library!" Hermione grinned.
"Well...no one else had better try, anyway!" The redhead attempted to look ominous and Hermione giggled.
"So why were you looking for me?" Hermione asked. "I've been researching Harry and Seamus' problem -- Harry told you, right?"
Ron nodded. "He did tell me, but actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else."
"Oh?" Hermione replied. "What is it?"
Ron reached forward and took one of her hands in his own. His blue eyes were looking intently into her brown ones. "Hermione...you know that I...I love you..."
Hermione reached out with her other hand and stroked his freckled cheek. "Of course I do! And I love you as well."
Ron gulped. "Well, it's just that...I thought..." He paused, but his gaze never wavered, searching deeply into her. "I want to marry you."
Hermione stared at him. She hadn't known what to expect, but this definitely wasn't it.
"Ron - we're not even done with school yet!"
"I know, but it's our last year!" He continued excitedly: "We can plan to have the wedding over the summer after graduation. I thought maybe we could do it here, but I know girls tend to have specific ideas about wedding plans, so I wouldn't want to..." He stopped babbling for a moment. "So, what do you think?"
Hermione was speechless. She honestly couldn't recall this ever happening before, and didn't really know how to deal with it.
Panic crept into Ron's expression "Herm? You.. don't want to marry me?"
"Oh Ron!" Hermione finally found her voice. "It's just... Well, I'm just really surprised. I hadn't thought about getting married right out of school."
"Well, then maybe you should think about it. You don't need to say yes right away." Ron smiled.
Hermione smiled weakly. "Okay...I'll think about it."
*****
"WHAT?" Lavender shrieked. "How could you not have said yes!?!?"
"Keep your voice down!" Hermione hissed at her. The four girls were gathered in one corner of the Gryffindor common room. "I didn't say yes because...I'm just not sure! This is a huge decision!"
"You DO love Ron, don't you?" Parvati asked.
"Of course she does," drawled Ginny. "Who could possibly resist the Weasley charm?"
She looked pointedly to the other side of the room where Ron was sitting with Harry, Neville, Seamus and Dean. She couldn't quite tell what they were talking about, but considering the rude gestures her brother was making and the way the others were laughing, it was quite likely he was repeating one of Fred and George's obnoxious stories.
Hermione glanced over at Ron and smiled wistfully. He was so cute and so sweet..."Yes, I do love him. I just never considered getting married so soon. I know that I don't want to just settle down and have kids... I mean, I love your mum and your whole family, Ginny, but I can't see BEING her..."
"That's allright," Ginny replied. "I certainly can't see turning into my Mum. I truly don't know how she managed the seven of us. I think I would've killed one of the twins. I'm only their little sister and I certainly wanted to quite often."
Parvati laughed. "I think that anyone who's ever known Fred and George Weasley has wanted to throttle them at some point or another. I can't even begin the list the number of times I've wanted to toss Fred in the lake, but then, I think the three of you have heard about most of them. But anyway, Herm, what are you going to do about Ron?"
"Well, I told Ron I needed time to think," Hermione sighed. "And I do. I can see us being married, but I don't know that right after graduation is what I want. I'll just have to wait it out for the time being, to make sure I do the right thing. Besides, I'm more worried about Harry and Seamus right now..."
They all looked over at the boys. Harry had Ron on one side and Neville on the other, while Seamus sat across from them with Dean next to him. They were all laughing and joking, but the naked longing on two of the faces was obvious. Somehow, something needed to be done -- and fast.
*****
The next morning, Hermione, Lavender and Parvati were just beginning to enjoy their pumpkin pancakes when Ginny arrived -- with purple-streaked hair. The other girls stared.
"Ginny?" Lavender ventured. "Did you have an accident in Potions or something?"
"What? You mean my hair?" Ginny replied as she helped herself to some pancakes. "No -- I just cast a spell. I wanted my hair to match my lingerie for tonight."
Parvati groaned. "That's really more than I wanted to know...thank goodness you didn't match the carpet to the draperies." Parvati suddenly realized that this *was* Ginny she was talking about. "Oh god, you didn't, did you?"
Ginny just smirked at her.
Lavender looked confused. "Why are you talking about home furnishings? I don't get it..."
Hermione hastily cleared her throat and changed the subject. "So are you seeing the Slytherin King again then, Ginny?"
"That I am..." Ginny began, when the flutter of the owls delivering the post interrupted any further conversation for a few minutes.
They all stopped to watch the spectacle that was post delivery. No matter how many times it happened, there was something simply amazing about the dozens of owls swooping into the Great Hall with packages and letters.
Parvarti got a letter and package from Fred, which she was looking at with apprehension. "You know it's something from the joke shop...I'm too afraid to open it, maybe I can get one of the guys to do it."
They went back to eating when suddenly Harry interrupted them. "Hermione! I need to talk to you!"
"Why am I getting a feeling of déjà vu?" Hermione grumbled good-naturedly. "See you later, girls."
She followed Harry out into the hallway. "Okay, what's going on?"
Harry thrust a sheet of parchment at her. "Look at what one of the school owls delivered to me this morning!"
Hermione looked down and read:
Be at the top of the North Tower at midnight if you want to end the curse on your boyfriend.
Come ALONE.

Q: Is Joe the Plumber "over"?
A: Basically, yes.

I lived in Toledo for 20 years and it's a shithole. I blame guys like Joe the Plumber for this state of affairs.

Will you write a fanfic about it?

I'm contributing to the FAQ part.

Is Toledo a shithole?

Yes.

Is Joe the Plumber to blame?

Yes.

http://img527.imageshack.us/img527/9637/poorloljoetb9.jpg

Q: Which one of these men is Joe the Plumber?:

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/09uTgnY9811Qy/610x.jpg

A: Trick question!!!! None of them! This is the real Joe the Plumber:

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/07infqJ3IK7k4/340x.jpg

Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/05Vgb9LdUu0q3/610x.jpg

A: Nobody cares.

Q: Where is Joe the Plumber?

A: Wherever there is a socialist, Joe the Plumber is there. Wherever wealth is being redistributed, Joe the Plumber is there. Whenever Israel is in trouble, Joe the Plumber is there.

"Did somebody call for a plumber?"
"Oh gosh, Joe" exclaimed a startled Sarah. "I didn't hear you there. I was so busy reading the press and the media. You know, all of them."
"Permission to come aboard the Straight Talk Express?"
"Granted!" she cried, nasally.
The unlicensed Plumber, his plunger erect, boarded the bus and slid into a seat next to the unindicted Governor.
"I don't know about you, but my polls sure could use a bump," he whispered into her ear.
"For sure," purred the Governor, sliding off her $800 spectacles. "Whaddayasay this time, we play 'Obama and Ayers'?"
"That's not working so great anymore. How about 'Obama and Khalidi'?"
"Ooh, go on," said the Governor, undoing her Valentino blouse, $2,000 button by $2,000 button.

As the Plumber explores her North Slopes, the Governor ran her manicured fingernails across his manly small-town chest, tracing the embroidered name on his uniform: "SAM."
"Good golly, Joe, I haven't felt muscles like these since that moose I shot, skinned, gutted, and dressed--while giving birth to Piper. Or was it Track?"
As the Governor donated the rest of her clothing to charity, the Plumber covered her in kisses, striving to keep her red places red. But just as she reached down to touch his ever-growing capital gains, there was a cry from outside.
"Mom! Mooom!!!!"
"Aw heck," muttered the Governor. "What do you want, Bristol?"
"My water broke and my contractions are 5 minutes apart. Are you sure I should be taking a campaign bus tour across Pennsylvania?"
"You'll do it and Florida, too, young lady!" barked the Governor. "Now fly back to Alaska and get ready."
The Governor turned back to the Plumber, who was ready to fill her pipeline.
"Come on, baby," he moaned. "Wave your white flag of surrender."
"Oh yes, Joe, yes! My gosh," she exhaled in ecstasy, "I think I can see Russia."
But suddenly, their preconditioned negotiations were interrupted by an angry voice.
"What the hell is this?"
The two of them shot up, decoupling.
"John!"
"Senator!"
"Porking... on my own campaign bus... when we're down so many points in Ohio..." the Senator hyperventilated, staggering around, clutching his heart. He dropped to the floor, murmuring his last words, "My friends..."
The Governor gazed in horror at the man before her, lying in a very un-pro-Life position.
"Oh doggone it," she exclaimed. "What the heck do I do now?"

Very well done JW

hahaha!

Q. Where can I find a picture of Joe giving a cocky grin to the camera as his face points upward to the inexorable heaven-bound future of these great United States?

A. http://www.secureourdream.com/images/JW2.jpg

Q: Who is Phil the Bricklayer?

A: Nobody cares.

― ♪☺♫☻ (gr8080), Saturday, October 18, 2008 2:28 PM (2 weeks ago) Bookmark

lol

Q. Who designed the cover of Joe's book, which I have reproduced here: http://www.thingsforgottenbook.com/bookstore/images/Joe-The-Plumber-Cover-v2.jpg?

A. Stevie Wonder

http://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFReport: Joe the Plumber Says McCain 'Appalled' Himhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIFhttp://dealbreaker.com/images/thumbs/drudgesiren.GIF

Joe Wurzelbacher says he felt "dirty" after "seeing some of the things that take place" on the campaign trail.

FOXNews.com

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

'Joe the Plumber' told conservative radio host Glenn Beck on Tuesday that he felt "dirty" after hitting the campaign trail with Republican presidential nominee John McCain and "seeing some of the things that take place," Politico reported.

Joe Wurzelbacher said he was specifically put off by McCain when it came to talk of the $700 billion bailout.

"When I was on the bus with him, I asked him a lot of questions about the bailout because most Americans did not want that to happen," Wurzelbacher told Beck. "I asked him some pretty direct questions. Some of the answers you guys are gonna receive they appalled me, absolutely. I was angry. In fact, I wanted to get off the bus after I talked to him."

Wurzelbacher said he stayed on the trail with McCain "honestly, because the thought of Barack Obama as president scares me even more."

Wurzelbacher, however, offered kind words to McCain running mate Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

"Sarah Palin is absolutely the real deal," he said.

Q: Who, according to Joe the Plumber, is the real deal?
A: Sarah Palin and/or Evander Holyfield

January 7, 2009

Joe the plumber headed to Middle East

Posted: 09:01 PM ET

(CNN) – Joe Wurzelbacher: Plumber. Campaign celebrity. Foreign correspondent?

‘Joe the Plumber’ is headed overseas to try his hand at covering the conflict in Gaza, Wurzelbacher’s publicist Thomas Tabback confirmed to CNN Wednesday.

Wurzelbacher plans to spend 10 days in Israel reporting on the conflict for pjtv.com, a Web site run by conservative media outlet Pajamas Media.

The famous plumber will be focusing on the Israeli perspective on the situation. "It's tragic, I mean it really is,” Wurzelbacher told CNN affiliate WNWO “I don't say that in any little way. It's very tragic, but at the same time what are the Israeli people supposed to do.”

Wurzelbacher told WNWO he’s not worried about the potential dangers of his new gig. "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,” he told the CNN affiliate.

“Israeli officials are very excited to have him,” Tabback told CNN.

Filed under: Joe the plumber

Q: Is Joe The Plumber worried about getting killed in Gaza?
A: "Being a Christian I'm pretty well protected by God I believe. That's not saying he's going to stop a mortar for me, but you gotta take the chance,”

http://www.joeforcongress2012.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/img1-e1322893019797.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJTU77LZLaU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBTDMLZwdpE