Where Will Big Hurt Land?

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Oh, but the new karma gets even better for Kenny the Grump. His mortal enemy, Frank Thomas, was released Sunday amid his usual controversy by the Toronto Blue Jays. This comes two years after Williams called Thomas “an idiot,” ordered him like a mob boss to “stay out of White Sox business,” told the world that chairman Jerry Reinsdorf loaned him money—and had to endure the subsequent embarrassment of Thomas combining for 65 home runs and 209 RBIs the last two years for other AL teams. While the Sox were busy reeking the last season and a half, Thomas was becoming an American hero as a slugger who went unjuiced during the Steroids Era, all but ensuring him first-ballot Hall of Fame status. Sox bosses couldn’t have been pleased about “the idiot” making them look bad, but, suddenly now, Williams is saving a little face after referring to Thomas as “selfish” and declaring, “We don’t miss his attitude. We don’t miss the whining.” -- Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times, April 21, 2008

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Seattle 6
on his couch playing Scrabulous with Barry Bonds3
Oakland 3
New York Yankees 2
Detroit 1
Minnesota 1
Texas 0
Toronto HAHAHAHA 0
sad on the bench of another AL team that really doesn't need him 0
sad on an NL bench pinch hitting for bad bunters 0
Tampa Bay 0


David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 15:02 (seventeen years ago)

wow...baseball pundits really just live in their own world, huh?

j.q higgins, Monday, 21 April 2008 15:06 (seventeen years ago)

I am voting for Oakland because I love seeing players in the white / gold / green and I want Oakland to win the West and while Seattle might be the best fit for FT Bill Bavasi is a dope and McLaren ain't much better and Seattle deserves to die a slow singles-laden fart-smothered death (apologies to M fans).

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 15:19 (seventeen years ago)

Seattle is my vote, but I'd rather see him Oakland too.

Alex in SF, Monday, 21 April 2008 15:59 (seventeen years ago)

Actually, scratch that -- I want the Rays to sign him so he can play Toronto as many times as possible and trounce their stupid asses.

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 16:23 (seventeen years ago)

it's mariotti so it's only loosely based on real life events.

chicago kevin, Monday, 21 April 2008 16:35 (seventeen years ago)

can he play 1B?

Steve Shasta, Monday, 21 April 2008 16:48 (seventeen years ago)

Not recommended (due to defensive slippage from his semi-adequate peak and injury proneness).

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 16:53 (seventeen years ago)

i love the big hurt and hope he lands somewhere but he should hang it up after this season

omar little, Monday, 21 April 2008 17:07 (seventeen years ago)

I'm daydreaming of an arrangement allowing Frank to bounce from team to team on a Who-is-playing-the-Blue-Jays-or-White-Sox basis. MLB could have BIG HURT REVENGE TOUR '08 printed up. It would be huge (maybe).

Andy K, Monday, 21 April 2008 17:26 (seventeen years ago)

I would follow in fuel-efficient green-friendly Dodge Prius and sell hemp baseball paraphenalia and "big league chew" on this REVENGE TOUR.

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 17:35 (seventeen years ago)

BTW Andy K I might steal that idea for a not-so-secret thing (unless you want to steal it for yourself).

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 17:38 (seventeen years ago)

Steal away!

Andy K, Monday, 21 April 2008 18:38 (seventeen years ago)

Honestly think the A's are better off with Barton and Sweeney at 1b/DH.

polyphonic, Monday, 21 April 2008 18:46 (seventeen years ago)

Don't forget TTO Cust.

Alex in SF, Monday, 21 April 2008 18:57 (seventeen years ago)

TTO this year for Cust -- swinging K, looking K, HBP

(wake up JC!)

David R., Monday, 21 April 2008 19:03 (seventeen years ago)

His K/BB to PA ratio is truly awesome to behold. He's like Rob Deer to nth power.

Alex in SF, Monday, 21 April 2008 19:20 (seventeen years ago)

on dis dick~

cankles, Tuesday, 22 April 2008 00:15 (seventeen years ago)

on his couch playing Scrabulous with Barry Bonds

this made me legit lol, btw... kudos, david r~

cankles, Tuesday, 22 April 2008 00:16 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Wednesday, 23 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

cankles!

I played Scrabulous for the 1st time last weekend. Fucker I played with was a cockblocking XI / ZU son of a fuck. No talent slappy punk.

David R., Wednesday, 23 April 2008 23:41 (seventeen years ago)

I wonder if ILBB correctly predicted this.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 22:52 (seventeen years ago)

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

Yay we didn't!

Seattle be so dumb.

Alex in SF, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:01 (seventeen years ago)

what the motherfuck is scrabulous

brownie, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:03 (seventeen years ago)

Wow, really good timing with the poll results, Dave.

xp brownie+

felicity, Thursday, 24 April 2008 23:03 (seventeen years ago)


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