The best things said on I Love Baseball.

"My high-leverage innings are an ILLUUUUUUUSION!" (ref: dennis eckersley vs. doug henning ts).

"WTF is up with Shingo's theme music? It's all like "Ching chong ching chong ching ching chong (gong crash!)" With a SLAMMIN' techno beat. Is he Japanese or something? I wasn't sure."

-- John (johndahle...), August 1st, 2004 3:18 PM. (jdahlem) (later)

-- John

This thread is too short.

*****************************************

"Don't Cry for Me, Rich Aurilia"

It won't be easy, like your fielding range
When I try to explain how I feel
That I still need your glove after all that you've done

You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
It's off to the waivers with you

I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay in the league with no RBI appeal
Looking out on the diamond, behind the radar gun

So I chose free agents
Stealing home, trying everything new
But your BA impressed none at all
I never expected it to

Don't cry for me Rich Aurillia
The truth is I never rated you
All through my dugout days
My sad trades with gygax!
I kept my promise
Please keep your distance

And as for Prior, and as for Woods
I always send them in
Though it seemed to the league they were all I desired

They are mere Cubbies
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love Dusty and hope Dusty loves me

Don't cry for me Rich Aurillia
The truth is I needed some pitching
All through the bottom third
My sad Cubbie relievers
I kept no promise if
Only they'd keep their distance

Have I dropped too much?
There's no one more I can think of to add.
But all you have to do is press submit
That every word is Bonds

-- hstencil, Wednesday, April 2, 2003 11:14 AM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

Holy crap, I totally missed that reference. I'm never going to say anything about baseball ever again.

After I tell Yanc3y that it's OK to not pick the Braves this year.

-- David R. (popshots75`), Sunday, March 30, 2003 4:11 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

(emphasis added, borrowed from pre-ILBB ILE)

BUGS INVADE

-- brownie, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:49 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

SWARMMMMMMM THE JOBA

-- johnny crunch, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:51 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

FLY MY PRETTYS

-- brownie, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:52 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

BUGS ON JOBA: WHAT IS ON YOUR IPODS?

-- Andy K, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:52 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

god hates the yankees too

-- bnw, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:53 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

NATS FINALLY MADE IT TO THE PLAYOFFS AMIRITE

-- brownie, Friday, October 5, 2007 11:53 PM (5 months ago) Bookmark Link

felicity! ;_;

LOLLeee said something equally funny somewhere. I have to find it.

(holy shit I am emo)

Well that only took 7 years.

I think that the epistemology of stats vs. "superstition" is at its basis metaphysical in nature, and is not limited to baseball, but perhaps all of life. So, in this manner, baseball serves as a metonymic test-world wherein one can stumble towards questions that pertain to the truths of dasein.

For instance, according to my knowledge of statistical theory, in the moment where t (time) approaches zero, the application of statistical probabilities becomes negligible -- how does the 30% chance of a hitter making a hit manifest itself into a single at bat (ignoring for the moment the luck-driven nature of the "hit")? Of course, from a more epistemologically divorced standpoint, i.e. from an angel's eye view, these probabilities take on more material shape.

But what good does an angel's perspective have on us mere mortals? We live in the day-to-day, in the moment where time becomes statistically negligible. What are the odds that something happens in a given moment? They either do, or they don't -- 50-50. But withdrawing towards epistemological heaven, where the sample size is more useful, you have greater subtlety and variability.

-- Leeeeeeeeee (Leee), Wednesday, October 19, 2005 10:46 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

" in the moment where t (time) approaches zero, the application of statistical probabilities becomes negligible "

i don't follow this at all!

-- John (jdahlem), Wednesday, October 19, 2005 10:58 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

From the epistemologically-limited position of the moment, where the outcome is either/or and not shaded by percentages that are accumulated over a span of time t of a more sizeable amount, statistics and probabilities become of little use to those in the moment, those who see with their eyes. Think of a 6-sided die. Over the course of a number of throws that approach infinity, you will see that the odds of rolling a 6 is 1/6; but in each individual throw, far closer to 0 than to ∞, we are aware not of the universe of mathematical likelihoods, but only of whether or not a 6 appears. Thus, two results: 6, and not-6. Probabilistically, 1/6. Metaphyisically, 1/2.

Phenomena are only explicable retrospectively, but there is a certain magic in the individual, discrete points from which statistics are gathered. I assume the two camps in baseball criticism and theory occupy, respectively, the metaphysical and statistical positions, a debate that has raged ever since the invention/discovery of Science and its kin, Rationalism.

Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.
Shantih shantih shantih

-- Leeeeeeeeee (Leee), Wednesday, October 19, 2005 11:17 AM (2 years ago) Bookmark Link

(^Not the funny thing. Just beautiful.)

does piazza even have a locker with anyone right now?

-- The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall, Friday, March 28, 2008 1:58 PM (5 days ago)

Local YMCA?

-- David R., Friday, March 28, 2008 2:01 PM (5 days ago)

Bah, I hate baseball and am swearing it off forever or until the Giants go back to the Series.

-- Leee (Leee), Sunday, October 27, 2002 9:12 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Link

(pre-ILBB ILE)

Jeez, what a windbag!

stfu

:D

Write a new poem, Leee.

Embarrassing thing is I was actually half-serious with that! The other half, I think, was trying to confuse John.

Phils, just because collective Met fan psychosis/doom complex is absolutely my favorite storyline in baseball right now - we're one good Aaron Heilman collapse away from a Heaven's Gate-style death cult venerating the Unisphere or something.

-- govern yourself accordingly, Thursday, 17 April 2008 02:47 (12 hours ago)

Why the fuck is George "Baseball's Waxy Historian" Will against afternoon baseball?!?!?

-- David R., Thursday, April 17, 2008 11:54 AM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link
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because people like it and that triggers something instinctual in him.

-- chicago kevin, Thursday, April 17, 2008 12:02 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark Link

I think the Brewers had to send Derek Turnbow to the minors as having him and Gagne around in the bullpen was too much like playing Russian Roulette with two bullets in the six gun.
-- earlnash, Sunday, May 11, 2008 1:54 AM

but Trachsel pitched better! HE GAVE UP HALF AS MANY HITS!

anyone see WGN rerun the 9th of Jim Maloney's no hitter vs the Cubs in '65, a few weeks ago during a rain delay? The guy walked TEN and threw something like 190 pitches!

-- Dr Morbius, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:04 AM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Back when the game was played by MEN

-- Andy K, Tuesday, May 20, 2008 9:06 AM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Also, Mike Mussina seems like he's kind of a sad guy.

-- Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Monday, June 9, 2008 2:54 PM (47 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
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Do you think he fills out crossword puzzles and sighs and feels sorry for himself?

-- Alex in SF, Monday, June 9, 2008 3:16 PM (24 minutes ago) Bookmark Link
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YES!

-- j.q higgins, Monday, June 9, 2008 3:21 PM (20 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Manny Ramirez? If not, which tool is he lacking?

-- felicity, Monday, June 9, 2008 11:33 AM (Monday, June 9, 2008 11:33 AM) Bookmark Link

Uh fielding ability? Running speed?

-- Alex in SF, Monday, June 9, 2008 11:34 AM (Monday, June 9, 2008 11:34 AM) Bookmark Link

Is THINKING toolsy?

-- Doctorb Morbius

manny plays left field better than anyone the sox have had since yaz.

manny plays left field better than anyone the sox have had since yaz

jacoby ellsbury plays left field just a wee bit better than manny

hell, mike greenwell played left field better than manny

you either have never seen greenwell play or you haven't seen manny play in 5 years.

However awkward he may be getting to the ball, Manny does seem to throw out quite a few runners trying to take an extra base on him. Maybe it is because third base coaches like to test him, but he does occasionally make some good throws.

Guys guys you really should really take this to another thread.

yes, to the manny is fucking great or whatever it's called. because none of this qualifies as the best things said on ilb. i wish today were tomorrow, i don't want to go to work.

no no his arm is awesome - i guess i think of "playing the field" more in terms of getting a good jump, getting a good read, and making catches - the first two of which manny ain't real good at. but i love the guy don't get me wrong! his positives far outweigh these things

Unfortunately Chicago AS voters didn't get the June OPS memo while they were stuffing the BALLOT BOXES so Soto is still going to be starting the All Star Game.

-- Alex in SF, Tuesday, 17 June 2008 18:24 (Yesterday) Link