The Continual Blueballs of a Perpetual One Year Contract: 2010 Florida Marlins

on the same day that they were named the most efficient team of the decade by tom verducci, they signed "28-year-old" jorge cantu to a one year, 6 million dollar deal. he slugged .443 batting clean-up last year.

alternate title for this thread

Notable Free Agent Signings: None -- 2010 Florida Marlins

• Marlins executive vice president Larry Beinfest envisions a ``nice battle between Logan Morrison and Gaby Sanchez at first base.'' Morrison (.277, eight homers, 47 RBI in 79 games at Double A in 2009) ``looks like he's ready. He recognizes the breaking ball and he carries himself like a big-leaguer.'' Sanchez struggled last spring but hit .289, 16, 56 in 85 Triple A games before his promotion: ``He pressed last spring, but you don't hit .320 at Double A unless you're the real thing,'' Beinfest said. ``He can hit, no question.''

oh, but there's more!:
Later he went on to discuss their newest pitching prospect Niel "Noogums" Carter. He is their youngest prospect looking at big league time to date, at the age of 6. "I don't think we're rushing him", Beinfest said of the young fireballer. "You can't throw a major league tantrum the way this kid does without being able to throw a major league slider."

Hah quick someone hit the internet and provide me a titanic list of dudes who hit .320 in AA and flamed out something fierce.

T!MO Perez's lifetime minor league batting average: .322 (over 500 games, almost all in AAA).

nolasco has struck out 19 and walked 0 in spring training this year

nolasco otm

is he gonna be playing in durham y/n

n

olasco

oh wait n/m we farm to tampa not florida

yeah wasn't sure if you meant "as a visitor" but he'll be in the majors anyway. dude is real good.

.089 WHIP, .250 BAA, 2.50 ERA

the guy is my favorite pitcher in baseball

i'm hoping for a league leading FIP yet another +5.00 ERA just to fuck with saber dudes minds

ABC Nolasco

2010 NL Cy Young Winner, 6.12 ERA

Whatever happened to Anibal Sanchez? Did his arm explode?

he finished last season healthy and effective, but he's only pitched 167 innings in the last three years

he's gonna come into their season as their #3, and if he's healthy he can be really good -- pretty good command of his pitches and he has a few that are good

Between the no-hitter and last season, he tore his labrum and his infant son died from a mosquito bite.

nolasco finally walked someone today, in the 7th inning -- went 25 w/o a walk

"He came to me last week, and he said, 'Are you doing something for me?' I said, 'Yeah, what's your shirt size?' I put it in a box the size of a shirt. I said, 'You realize there is no shirt in here.' He was very surprised. I like doing nice things for good people, and we have a lot of good people around here."
—Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria, on the necklace he gave Hanley Ramirez that reads "Congratulations - Jeffrey Loria." (Joe Frisaro, MLB.com)

Scumbag.

(Loria, obv.)

Congratulations Jeffrey Loria

loria is the worst

I want to see a picture of that necklace so bad.

btw, they're giving out REPLICAS of that thing to fans on opening day, as if the messianic thing wasn't overwhelming enough as it is

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/11/2010/03/500x_screen_shot_2010-03-28_at_5.38.14_pm.jpg

YESSSS

History, meet Cantu:

http://joefrisaro.mlblogs.com/archives/2010/04/cantu_flirting_with_history.html

lol highpockets

lolstat.

thank you for your one good start, nate robertson, now we know why the tigers decided to keep dontrelle over you

bronson arroyo, cantu is here to see you

you had a good run there, highpockets.

CANTU

HIGHPOCKETS MEET CANTU

too bad that record has no effect on the fantasy team whatsoever.

aside from the dinger, obv.

Hope I can hear the Waltz call later. He is a delight when he yells (even more so when he gets surly, obv).

game wasn't on local tv tonight >:(

i've had to listen to thom brenneman say "sahnchez" all night

andy, i'm glad you appreciate rich ^_^

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwaSuYZ6svQ

Just came here to post that. holy shit.

THE NIGHTMARE FOR THOSE WHO DETEST THE FREAKISH ARBITRARY STREAKS THAT HELP MAKE BASEBALL FUN CONTINUES

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_BVt4vG_l0ek/SwracuwC0GI/AAAAAAAAAJQ/q_aO5FG5RXA/s400/jorge-cantu-300x350.jpg

Can Too!

lol hanley just fouled a pitch off his nuts, was out of the box recovering for two mins, and then got drilled in the bicep by a 95 mph fastball on the following pitch

and now (18-20 starts):

Johnson 53.0
Wainwright 50.5
Halladay 49.1
Jimenez 46.7

Has Hallady lost a couple of points after last night?

Ubaldo's pitching tonight. I have everything crossed that he's still got it.

too bad that he couldn't have faced johnson tonight

what are the components of pitcher VORP? is it defense-independent?

stanton has 3 hits tonight off ubaldo incl a 3 run hr

During the elation in the aftermath of the Marlins' 5-4 win over the Braves in 11 innings Sunday afternoon at Sun Life Stadium, Chris Coghlan was injured while attempting to smash a shaving-cream pie in the face of Wes Helms, who delivered the walk-off single.

After the Marlins edged the Giants, 4-3, on Monday night at AT&T Park, the club announced Coghlan was going on the disabled list with a torn meniscus to his left knee.

If surgery is required, the team's starting left fielder and leadoff batter will be out six to eight weeks.

Is it ok if I laugh at that

josh johnson vs cain tonight

Wes Helms looks like a Tackleberry-type cop who plays in ultra-competitive softball leagues and happens to be in full uniform for fantasy camp (bought by his long-suffering wife and kids as a father's day gift). He would not hesitate to take out Rob Natal on a play at the plate for the sake of impressing his hero, Jeff Conine.

uggla breaks all time franchise record for homers

Some dude in the stands yelled "YOU'RE NOT IN KANSAS CITY ANYMORE!!!" and it could have applied to Nunez (who was pitching), Gload (who had just singled), or Ibanez (who was coming up to the plate).

Also, Tim Tschida is wearing ruby slippers.

Speaking of Rich Waltz yelling...

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?categoryId=2459789&id=5441752

After watching replays, Davidson insisted he made the correct call.

"I was right on top of it, and it was wide of the bag," he said. "What the ball did when it went past me is irrelevant. ... I understand that's the winning run, but in my opinion it was foul."

IIRC (I was half-awake) they used instant replay on a clearly foul HR ball the next half-inning.

yeah they did

the other one was fair obv

What is the rule there?

It looked like it bounced foul twice before it got to the bag but it's hard to tell with that player.

i didn't realize that mike stanton is only 20 years old, holy shit

seems like despite all the heyward-hype there's a chance stanton turns out as the better player? i'm sure this will be argued endlessly for the next few years but it's still interesting to think about

plus dominic brown

if stanton can actually keep his average around .275/.280 career, it's possible that he will end up as a better player than heyward

funny thing about it is, in the SI article about heyward, verducci reported that the only team that the braves were concerned about drafting heyward before them were the marlins, but the marlins passed on heyward to take matt dominguez because they knew they could get stanton in the second round

i haven't actually gotten to see domonic brown hit yet

i might have to finally shell out for mlb.tv next year to watch all these promising dudes

don't forget about ike davis!

http://i15.tinypic.com/6hgilwy.jpg

does stanton actually have big holes in his swing like mark reynolds or is he just taking a lot of rookie hacks at bad pitches?

he has a good eye from what i can tell, i think he's just taking his rookie lumps

he gets fooled on pitches as much as he resits getting fooled on pitches, is how i would put it

it's hard to think of a current comparison for him... reynolds and dunn have career batting averages that are below what i think he will hit -- i could see him putting up ryan howard sort of numbers, without maybe ever hitting 58 homers and without the awful lefty/righty splits

also he is a really great athlete with a cannon arm, as opposed to lumbering bufoons like howard/dunn/prince etc

If you were wondering how Ronny Paulino managed to hit four home runs and slug over .350 this year, here is your answer:

The Office of the Commissioner of Baseball announced today that Florida Marlins catcher Ronny Paulino has received a 50-game suspension after testing positive for a performance-enhancing substance in violation of Major League Baseball's Joint Drug Prevention and Treatment Program.

i haven't kept up with the team but this seems like a stinging indictment of management.

i mean, it was always obvious that loria was taking money and doing nothing with it, hence the players union pretty much forcing him into paying higher salaries

http://l.yimg.com/a/p/sp/tools/med/2010/08/mlb/1282696699.jpg

honestly, samson is worse than loria -- i can't even stand to see him talk

40M in profit, and that's before the 43M from mlb's revenue-sharing program.

Manny_Navarro #Marlins manager Edwin Rodriguez said reason Leo Nunez still has closers role is "lack of options" http://myloc.me/bfLMS
less than a minute ago via ÜberTwitter

sounds about right

That picture of Samson needs to be Perez'ed.

- B. Sanches relieved W. Ohman
- J. Maxwell safe at first on third baseman C. Tracy's throwing error
- J. Maxwell to third on wild pitch
- J. Maxwell scored on wild pitch

http://plixi.com/p/43542216

i think this team is gonna be the new "dark horse preseason pick" now that the reds have finally popped after a few years of predictions

maybin, morrison, hanley, stanton, g. sanchez, coghlan

johnson, nolasco, a. sanchez

that's a ridiculous core from an upside standpoint even if they don't keep uggla

yes i am very excited about next year

really need to fix the bullpen & you never know with tons of young guys like that, but yeah

plus, we're RICH. should be able to pick up a bunch of impact players.

barely i even care at this point but this is important

Logan Morrison draws first-inning walk. On-base streak now at 38 games in a row. Third-longest in #marlins history.
about 11 hours ago via Seesmic Desktop

.314/.425./.497 in 47 games this year

what's the rumor on where Uggla might land if he doesnt stay?

Man I have no idea

Honestly I think they'll get a deal done

MikeStanton27 Mike Stanton
I'm about to destroy in n out! Topping it off with a neopolotin shake
2 hours ago Favorite Retweet Reply

MikeStanton27
@Alena46210 mickeydees is no bueno! Forever influenced by supersize me.
13 Oct Favorite Retweet Reply

http://thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/bill-james-the-simpsons.png

Mike Stanton 2011 — 85/38/104/.268/5
http://www.fangraphs.com/statss.aspx?playerid=4949&position=OF

lolllllllllllll

he's gonna hit at least 35 homers

CamMaybin Cameron Maybin24
Just chop it up with waka flockA flame lmao..

so jealous of both parties

LoMoMarlins Logan Morrison
Hes busy. Spending your $ on the DL RT @BrettSchneider3: @LoMoMarlins @MikeStanton27 Try 2 get carlos beltran 2 answer me please.

him & stanton on twitter are my winter lifeblood