PITCH your bad baseball movie idea here!

An extremely talented and straight laced knuckle baller is drafted to the big leagues, but there's a problem! The only guy that can catch his zany signature pitch is his bumbling fuck up friend from college. Like Zach Galifianakis or something!!! Crazy shit happens!!!

an old washed up MLB slugger is well beyond his prime, in the twilight of his career, getting paid league minimum...in major debt, attempts to fix it via gambling and gets in even more debt with some dangerous loan sharks.

slugger hires other MLB has-beens to work with him incognito, and at night, they become armed militants eager to take on the mob, while playing baseball by day.

also time travel happens at some point

zach galifanakis is sal fasano

i would watch the first one + enjoy it

"an old washed up MLB slugger is well beyond his prime, in the twilight of his career, getting paid league minimum...in major debt, attempts to fix it via gambling and gets in even more debt with some dangerous loan sharks."

Had a similar idea but the said player goes for one last hurrah in Venezuelan winter ball. Makes friends with a young shortstop who gets him into some petty crime. Young shortstop is then murdered by a pitcher who plays for their rival ball club. He has a scar and is called El Demonio or something. Vengeance, violence, and heated baseball scenes. CHIN MUSIC.

i assume ugueth urbina is the inspiration for el demonio?

Machete scar!

Moneyball, but from Tabitha Soren's POV. Hubbyball.

I'm surprised they haven't made a baseball "Jerry McGuire" yet ... a once hard living, big spending sports agent (a recovering alcoholic who's been away from the game for years) wants to resurrect his career but only one player is willing to work with him -- a disgraced slugger and who was just released from jail after serving four years for perjury (after being caught lying to a grand jury during a steroid investigation, of course). Each man wants one last shot at the big time. Along the way, they learn important lessons about baseball, life, and forgiveness, Sandra Bullock plays someone's love interest, this stuff writes itself.

i like the idea of doing Moneyball *our* way. treat it like Momento and have the plot work backwards.
it will begin with the A's SUCKING.

Japanese pitcher signs to MLB club for big $$$, and reportedly throws unique pitch called "the gyroball".

The only problem is: he sucks. He eventually loses his job and the pair end up peddling lobster rolls, with a twist.

Sophia Coppola directs: LOST IN CRUSTACEAN

Tim Robbins and Kevin Costner star as "Dice-J" and his translator "Hiroyuki Masayama".

The Big Ol' Lance Berkman Fraggle Goof Off

Lance Berkman runs through the right field wall while chasing a flyball during a high-pressure playoff game. But this holiday season, he finds more than he bargained for! It turns out there's a whole community of Fraggles behind the wall, and they've been completely out of food for nearly 1 1/2 weeks. It's not until Berkman notices a half-eaten carcass in the corner that he first notices the awful smell. The gnawed off face is barely recognizable, but it bears a resemblance to Jose Oquendo. But this holiday season, as the Fraggles converge around Berkman, moaning and clawing at his throat, he discovers that the hole in the wall from which he entered this living hell has mysteriously vanished, and it's pitch black.

Rated R

They need to update "Major League" too ... the fictional Portland Bumbleweeds are nearly bankrupted by poor ownership, and commissioner Huck Feely announces that MLB will be taking over the team at season's end unless circumstances improve. Enter career minor league first baseman and first class joker Pudge Puckowitz, who becomes an unlikely team leader and shows his team (and the normally dour commish) how to turn a frown upside down. Alex Rodriguez has a cameo as the cigar chomping, high falootin', spoiled and overpaid star of the Newark Stank Bees, who need to sweep the Bumbleweeds on the final weekend of the season to guarantee themselves a record 38th straight playoff berth.

An extremely talented and straight laced knuckle baller is drafted to the big leagues, but there's a problem! The only guy that can catch his zany signature pitch is his bumbling fuck up friend from college. Like Zach Galifianakis or something!!! Crazy shit happens!!!

― errant flynn, Saturday, August 6, 2011 12:03 AM (3 days ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i would totally watch this.

ya! start writing.

We should write one of these by committee! Anyone have a pirated copy of Final Draft? ILX films baby, cha-ching!

i would like to do it as a cricket movie

a cricket film

go to bollywood, hipster

i don't even

i like the idea of doing Moneyball *our* way. treat it like Momento and have the plot work backwards.
it will begin with the A's SUCKING.

― karma's ruthless invisible (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Monday, August 8, 2011 4:13 PM (5 hours ago) Bookmark

i would promise not to torrent and would line up on opening weekend to hand over $12 for this

Anyone have a pirated copy of Final Draft?

― errant flynn, Monday, August 8, 2011 8:46 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

pre-9/11 i used to know this artist/indie rock drummer/screenwriter/trust fund kid who worked at the microcinema i would frequent who had a major block preventing him from finishing his screenplay: whenever he would write in final draft he would just play the male female AI voices of the dialogue he had just written over and over and laugh his ass off at it.

i often wonder if he went on to invent xtranormal.

Need some fresh material here, folks!

Autocratic but undeniably charismatic leftist Latin American leader comes to the U.S. to talk at the U.N. He throws out the first pitch, hits 87 on the gun, shows some nice movement on it. People are impressed, changes the game diplomatically. FIVE YEARS LATER: He is displaced in a FARC-like coup, takes shelter in the U.S. In need of employment, he is signed by a New York team that's fallen on hard times.

You KNOW you would watch DAMN YANQUIS! (Directed by Ang Lee, starring Benicio del Toro, Joy Bryant as the intrepid reporter, Chloe Grace Moretz as someone, probably throw in Joseph Gordon Levitt as the team's Mormon pitching sensation who learns to lighten up -- and how to respect the labor movement -- from our hero.)

A biopic of Casey Stengel starring Benicio Del Toro doing his Fenster character from The Usual Suspects; two hours of people looking at each other saying, "Did you understand a word of that?"

Oh I get it, "pitch"!

Bunts Down, Cleats Up: The Chris Robinson Story

First star gay active player comes out of closet. In furor, outspoken bigoted teammate realizes that his revulsion is perhaps really attraction. Channing Tatum and Kevin Hart in: "SCREWBALL COMEDY!!!" (Rated PB for Pretty Bad)