Derek Holland out til mid-year
http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2014/1/10/5296936/derek-holland-knee-surgery-rangers
― eclectic husbandry (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 11 January 2014 15:20 (eleven years ago)
"Holland, 27, tore cartilage in the knee on Tuesday in a fall at home that he described as a "freak accident."
every time i read an explanation like that i assume that it occurred during an advanced sex move. ken griffey jr slipped in the bathtub in 1989? maybe...during an advanced sex move
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 11 January 2014 15:27 (eleven years ago)
Justin Verlander is missing spring training.
― Van Horn Street, Saturday, 11 January 2014 19:06 (eleven years ago)
clint barmes broke his collarbone while carrying deer meat . . . in an advanced sex move
― mookieproof, Saturday, 11 January 2014 19:15 (eleven years ago)
i knew it
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 11 January 2014 19:22 (eleven years ago)
advanced sex move involving derek holland's dog wrigley
― mookieproof, Sunday, 12 January 2014 18:26 (eleven years ago)
arthro elbow surgery for Jeremy Hellickson
http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2014/2/3/5373474/jeremy-hellickson-elbow-injury-jake-odorizzi
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 3 February 2014 18:45 (eleven years ago)
awwww
http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2014/2/12/5404644/cole-hamels-injury-biceps-tendinitis-phillies
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 12 February 2014 18:55 (eleven years ago)
mariners:franklin gutierrez to miss season with gastrointestinal problemsiwakuma out 4-6 weeks with freak finger injurytaijuan walker suffering shoulder soreness
― mookieproof, Thursday, 13 February 2014 21:58 (eleven years ago)
freak finger injury even worse when you attach advanced sex move
― I've Seen rRootage (Will M.), Friday, 14 February 2014 22:57 (eleven years ago)
those hafta be some serious GI problems
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Friday, 14 February 2014 23:05 (eleven years ago)
perhaps the iwakuma and gutierrez injuries are connected via a botched advanced sex move
― Karl Malone, Friday, 14 February 2014 23:23 (eleven years ago)
(i.e. when you're knuckle-deep into the intestines, do NOT suddenly bend your finger)
― Karl Malone, Friday, 14 February 2014 23:24 (eleven years ago)
Of all the times to have this thread open and while my boss is in my cube.
― eeeLectrelane (Leee), Friday, 14 February 2014 23:44 (eleven years ago)
the ONLY nsfw mlb injury thread on the internet!
(sorry leee!)
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 15 February 2014 00:55 (eleven years ago)
mark mulder blew out his achilles (in an advanced sex move)
― mookieproof, Saturday, 15 February 2014 23:48 (eleven years ago)
Damn that sucks.
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 16 February 2014 09:54 (eleven years ago)
I probably should have used different words seeing how this has turned into a sex thread, but that's really terrible for Mulder, his comeback would have been an amazing story.
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 16 February 2014 09:56 (eleven years ago)
Travis Snider hurt his finger cutting sweet potatoes in an advanced sex move
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 16:25 (eleven years ago)
we should have a FAP where we eat a dinner of injury-causing foods
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 16:36 (eleven years ago)
rated r
― Karl Malone, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 16:39 (eleven years ago)
can someone explain how this "advanced sex move" thing got started?!
― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 18:45 (eleven years ago)
well, you place the catcher's mask on your partner's face...
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 18:48 (eleven years ago)
well...when two people love each other...
xp lol
― k3vin k., Tuesday, 18 February 2014 18:49 (eleven years ago)
We have "Hot" Karl Malone to thank imo
― I've Seen rRootage (Will M.), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 19:59 (eleven years ago)
Mark Bowman @mlbbowmanThe Braves have released Mat Gamel. He reinjured his right knee (two ACL surgeries the past two years) last week.
jesus, this guy
― mookieproof, Tuesday, 18 February 2014 20:21 (eleven years ago)
was just about to post this. feel bad for him.
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Tuesday, 18 February 2014 22:16 (eleven years ago)
Miguel Sano to have Tommy John surgery
http://www.startribune.com/sports/twins/blogs/248012161.html
― Andy K, Saturday, 1 March 2014 15:08 (eleven years ago)
Cameron Maybin is hurt.
― Andy K, Monday, 3 March 2014 13:23 (eleven years ago)
@DSzymborskiBad MRI news on Cameron Maybin. Ruptured biceps, out a few months.
― Andy K, Monday, 3 March 2014 20:45 (eleven years ago)
Luke Hochevar will miss a couple months with a UCL strain
http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2014/3/5/5474456/mlb-roundup-luke-hochevar-out-until-june-with-ucl-injury
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 5 March 2014 19:54 (eleven years ago)
Princess Valiant could miss April
http://www.sbnation.com/mlb/2014/3/6/5477380/cole-hamels-injury-phillies-rotation-spring-training
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 6 March 2014 16:10 (eleven years ago)
@AdamMcCalvy
First #Brewers injury of the spring is a weird one: K-Rod stepped on a cactus. Not sure how long he'll be out.
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 16:27 (eleven years ago)
so advanced
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 12 March 2014 16:54 (eleven years ago)
elbows exploding everywhere
― mookieproof, Monday, 17 March 2014 19:38 (eleven years ago)
Shins, too.
― Andy K, Monday, 17 March 2014 19:39 (eleven years ago)
Or maybe just those of Jose Iglesias
― Andy K, Monday, 17 March 2014 19:40 (eleven years ago)
So depressed for Jarrod Parker, I really liked his second half last year and was anxious to see him play this season. A second surgery is very bad news.
― Van Horn Street, Tuesday, 18 March 2014 01:08 (eleven years ago)
And now Aroldis Chapman.
― Andy K, Thursday, 20 March 2014 03:10 (eleven years ago)
...struck by a liner.
Game called in the sixth. Geez.
― Andy K, Thursday, 20 March 2014 03:19 (eleven years ago)
Pitchf/x data reports the pitch was a 99 mph fastball.
― mookieproof, Thursday, 20 March 2014 04:02 (eleven years ago)
Doesn't he have the tendency to stay up after he releases the ball? Was that a factor?
Ehh, don't really feel like watching it happen.
― Andy K, Thursday, 20 March 2014 14:02 (eleven years ago)
@BNightengaleThe #Reds medical staff says absolutely Chapman will pitch this year although not until May
― Andy K, Thursday, 20 March 2014 16:28 (eleven years ago)
that's good news
really frightening
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 20 March 2014 17:33 (eleven years ago)
josh johnson out at least a month after trying to lift his entire $8 million salary with his right hand
― linda cardellini (zachlyon), Sunday, 23 March 2014 06:47 (eleven years ago)
Johnson is getting into Pavano territory.
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Sunday, 23 March 2014 10:17 (eleven years ago)
Profar may be gone til July
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article/mlb/rangers-second-baseman-jurickson-profar-out-10-12-weeks-with-torn-shoulder-muscle?ymd=20140323&content_id=69979264&vkey=news_mlb
The Curse of Kinsler
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Monday, 24 March 2014 05:05 (eleven years ago)
and Yu will miss opener w/ stiff neck
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 26 March 2014 15:40 (eleven years ago)
and Kershaw! MRI.
http://www.sbnation.com/2014/3/26/5551828/clayton-kershaw-injury-dodgers-opening-day-scratched
― images of war violence and historical smoking (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 27 March 2014 15:10 (eleven years ago)
Cliff Lee exited tonight's game against the Nationals in the third inning, gesturing toward his elbow.
guess cliff won't be a waiver trade either. and he's due $25m next year
― mookieproof, Friday, 1 August 2014 01:30 (eleven years ago)
It's been reported that Cain does not need TJ surgery!
― Van Horn Street, Friday, 1 August 2014 04:21 (eleven years ago)
Eric Hosmer likely out 3-4 weeks with broken hand
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Friday, 1 August 2014 14:03 (eleven years ago)
Unconfirmed reports that Dr. James Andrews was seen limping out of the backroom of his lair office, bleeding heavily and with an axe protruding from his left calf. simultaneously, Matt Cain was seen sprinting out of the front door of the building, waving his arms and shouting "call 911! 911! He's lost his mind!". Gunshots and bloodcurdling screams were heard in the building shortly before Andrews and Cain emerged, with some observers noting "evil cackles" from a voice resembling Andrews.
― Karl Malone, Friday, 1 August 2014 14:17 (eleven years ago)
lol
― Bee OK, Friday, 1 August 2014 14:33 (eleven years ago)
an actual quote, this time: "Andrews did reportedly recommend a course of action for the "loose bodies" in Cain's elbow, and the Giants "are digesting it." Presumably, that recommendation was arthroscopic surgery, and if the procedure is deemed necessary, it could cost Cain most of the remaining season."
― Karl Malone, Friday, 1 August 2014 18:23 (eleven years ago)
was gonna say, there's no way andrews let him out of there without recommending ending his season in some way
The jack kevorkian of MLB
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 1 August 2014 18:31 (eleven years ago)
loose bodies, tight butthole (sorry)
― johnny crunch, Friday, 1 August 2014 18:33 (eleven years ago)
^^^not sorry
― mookieproof, Friday, 1 August 2014 18:35 (eleven years ago)
loose bodies, tight butthole, can't lose
fixed
― panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Friday, 1 August 2014 19:41 (eleven years ago)
you guys and yr sphincter jokes
btw Matt Harvey wants to throw one major-league inning this year; the Mets should sit on him to prevent that.
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Friday, 1 August 2014 19:46 (eleven years ago)
I should know the answer, but why? Is that a pension-qualifying thing or something?
― clemenza, Friday, 1 August 2014 19:47 (eleven years ago)
no, he just wants peace of mind for the winter
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Friday, 1 August 2014 19:53 (eleven years ago)
Goldschmidt likely done for year w/ broken hand
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Monday, 4 August 2014 16:52 (eleven years ago)
apparently tanaka is supposed to play catch today
― mookieproof, Monday, 4 August 2014 17:48 (eleven years ago)
NOT disabling McCutchen after all
http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/11313418/pittsburgh-pirates-say-andrew-mccutchen-remain-active-roster
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 16:46 (eleven years ago)
Glad to see the Yankees are being careful with their one great SP
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Wednesday, 6 August 2014 17:32 (eleven years ago)
Hyun-Jin Ryu left the Braves game tonight limping hard on his right ham.
― Cindy Operahouse (WilliamC), Thursday, 14 August 2014 01:22 (eleven years ago)
always bothers me that the announcers no doubt said he was 'favoring' the injured hammy rather than the uninjured
― mookieproof, Thursday, 14 August 2014 01:28 (eleven years ago)
Tulo needs hip surgery and will miss the rest of the season.
― NoTimeBeforeTime, Thursday, 14 August 2014 06:08 (eleven years ago)
The Blue Jays have died.
― clemenza, Thursday, 14 August 2014 13:32 (eleven years ago)
twins' byron buxton was supposed to start the season in double-a, but was prevented from doing so by injuries until last night.
he didn't even get through five innings before being concussed in an outfield collision and taken off the field in an ambulance
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT7vg2rqK5s
― mookieproof, Thursday, 14 August 2014 14:24 (eleven years ago)
http://www.sbnation.com/2014/8/13/6000617/yu-darvish-injury-rangers-elbow-inflammation-disabled-list
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 14 August 2014 15:04 (eleven years ago)
uh oh Angels
http://www.sbnation.com/2014/8/20/6051323/garrett-richards-injury-angels-knee-stretcher
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Thursday, 21 August 2014 13:59 (eleven years ago)
swish had season-ending surgery on both knees
― mookieproof, Thursday, 21 August 2014 14:25 (eleven years ago)
Los Angeles Angels pitcher Garrett Richards will be out six to nine months after an MRI showed he suffered a torn left patellar tendon, the team announced Thursday.
Richards, who was placed on the 60-day DL, is scheduled to undergo surgery next week. He sustained the injury Wednesday night against the Red Sox while covering first base in the second inning.
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Thursday, 21 August 2014 23:51 (eleven years ago)
so sad for Richards, I love watching him pitch.
― Van Horn Street, Friday, 22 August 2014 00:40 (eleven years ago)
if richards were a yankee, hank would be demanding designated fielders by now
― mookieproof, Friday, 22 August 2014 00:54 (eleven years ago)
knee surgery for Manny Machado
― son of a lewd monk (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 23 August 2014 22:48 (eleven years ago)
pretty impressive what the o's are doing with no wieters, half a season of machado, chris davis sucking, etc.
― mookieproof, Saturday, 23 August 2014 23:38 (eleven years ago)
Seems Lincecum is out for the rest of season, the scans revealed a broken soul.
― Van Horn Street, Sunday, 24 August 2014 19:55 (eleven years ago)
Damn, his soul patch must have blown out.
― Cindy Operahouse (WilliamC), Sunday, 24 August 2014 20:01 (eleven years ago)
i missed it by a few seconds but the red's SP Axelrod was pulled after 7 pitches with some sort of weird injury.
― Karl Malone, Monday, 8 September 2014 23:21 (eleven years ago)
Stanton, fastball to face(?), now on stretcher.
― Andy K, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:00 (eleven years ago)
o fuck
― mookieproof, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:02 (eleven years ago)
Getting ugly.
― Andy K, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:04 (eleven years ago)
Someone needs to escort Fiers off the premises.
― Andy K, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:06 (eleven years ago)
headley just hit also i think?
― johnny crunch, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:06 (eleven years ago)
I guess I understand but Fiers was visibly shaken, it looked like he was nearly in tears after hitting Stanton, he's not really in shape to pitch right now
<3 Casey McGehee but seriously dude
― Maggie killed Quagmire (collest baby ever) (frogbs), Friday, 12 September 2014 02:08 (eleven years ago)
damn
https://vine.co/v/OaupxpK5w0u
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Friday, 12 September 2014 02:12 (eleven years ago)
Game is a mess. Fiers then drilled Reed Johnson in the hand. Johnson was in the act of swinging. There were two strikes. He was called out. Is the hand not part of the bat?
― Andy K, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:14 (eleven years ago)
Made the mistake of watching the MIL broadcast. Bet Waltz went off on that warning.
― Andy K, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:17 (eleven years ago)
Ugh
― Karl Malone, Friday, 12 September 2014 02:18 (eleven years ago)
Was at the game tonight; whole stadium went pale. Never had to watch grounds grew pour fresh dirt over a big blood stain before
― Evan R, Friday, 12 September 2014 04:37 (eleven years ago)
I don't know how to link to it, but the Marlins TV broadcast of the near-brawl in the fifth was disgusting. Whoever that Marlins announcer is was calling for blood, cheering on McGehee during his rampage. He even acknowledged Fiers was shaken and the HBP wasn't intentional, but kept shouting this "when your big guy goes down, you gotta fight back" nonsense. Total, disgusting bloodsport BS.
― Evan R, Friday, 12 September 2014 04:39 (eleven years ago)
ya - that's def unprofessional.
― Porto for Pyros (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Friday, 12 September 2014 04:41 (eleven years ago)
Here's the clip; it was Tommy Hutton
http://m.mlb.com/mia/video/v36169801/miamil-benches-clear-after-johnson-strikes-out
― Evan R, Friday, 12 September 2014 04:46 (eleven years ago)
Doesn't look promising:
http://m.mlb.com/news/article/94278650/hit-in-face-marlins-slugger-giancarlo-stanton-suffers-laceration-fractures
Pretty awful.
― clemenza, Friday, 12 September 2014 11:22 (eleven years ago)
pretty good:
http://www.foxsports.com/mlb/just-a-bit-outside/story/cj-nitkowski-recovery-process-for-pitchers-after-hitting-a-batter-in-face-091214
― mookieproof, Friday, 12 September 2014 19:41 (eleven years ago)