Round Eighteen I believe...

SHINBONERS by 47 points.

Cow fans will be rushing out to stock up on spraypaint after the more focused Roos return to a venue that has been kind to them in the past. Imagine how much the Roos would miss Leigh Colbert if Adelaide actually had any forwards. Neil Craig's honeymoon is shorter than a scotsman's and the knives are now officially out after last week's murder of crows. Dean will be ladling up the praise from the broth of victory to stay in the hunt for another week.

BLUESAGGERS by 9 points.

Since Pagan has lobbed in the paddock at Craptus Oval, the Blues have become the masters of the rebound. The Blues have to be a chance here, hell, even Essendon beat Freo in Melbourne. Gingernuts Whitnall would have been mighty embarrassed after last week's match but at least he didn't need to shower with his team mates after the bath he got from the Catters. Expect a better showing from Big Red and the Blues at home. I reckon the Blues can throw a bit of a spanner into Freo's works on their home deck as Freo's form is more fickle than Paris Hilton.

herPIES by 31 points.

Collingwood proved themselves to be underachievers this year when they easily disposed of the dogshit at the Domeass last week without several key players. Collingwood are in luck again this week because the only time the Tiggers go in hard is against each other. The boardroom has more knives than a demtel ad and the players are getting fewer touches than the unsold Hawthorn scarves at K Mart. You just can't tip Richmond...anywhere. What are we going to do when they play Horriblethorn?

POOWER by 47 points.

Essengorn are shot and don't come out to play against real opponents. Due to a soft draw this mob will stumble into the finals and probably pull off a win just to spite me (and it better not be against the Cats DOH). But Port are not a soft touch and will relish towelling up the Bombers who are fast becoming a bunny for the Poower boys. Even if the big guns come back Essengorn just doesn't have the firepower to upset the Poower big heads...but I hope I'm wrong.

BRISBANEOFOUREXISTENCE by 15 points.

Lethal has spent the week researching some awful jokes for Mal Michael to tell Barry Hall (eg...did you hear about the kid who bought a Matthew Lloyd poster and it kept falling down and getting free kicks?) to infuriate the follically challenged forward who couldn't get a free kick if Ned Flanders was the maggot. Hall will lose it and go the yap and in the meantime the Gorillas will go ape and snaffle the points. I rate the Swannies but the Lie Ins are just too tough.

CATTERS by 20 points.

Sorry Sainters but we've got a ruckman this time. Yes sir, the King of Catland is back on his throne & our dynamic duo will strangle the life out of the Sainters' star forward line. The Saints will start well until Bomber sends out the news that Cat Park doesn't have a roof and that will be all she wrote my friends. The Sainters match up well against the Cats but at the fortress it will be the Cats that get the cream. Purrrrrrrrrrfect!!

Jeff White and the Seven Dwarfs by 116 points.

In another incredibly tough assignment gifted to them by the league, Melbourne should make mincemeat out of Horriblethorn who look as bad as any side I can think of in recent times. You'd probably have to go back to the last couple of Fitzroy sides to see less talent on the field. The Demons would and should be embarrassed by their round one outing against the shitestains and will make amends. There will be hell to pay for the poor old Dawks.

EGIRLS by 29 points.

Like the website, great at home but not so flash away LOL. The Coasters played ok at Girlee but if they went to kick someone up the ar5e last week they would have ended up kicking the beer out of thier hand instead. Bad kicking is bad football but no one does this better than the Dogshit who I have NOT FORGIVEN for costing me money last weekend. Never again Rhodey...your fate is sealed!

Too easy,

NEXT!!

regards,

REB