Round 17

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My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)
That's my mother****in balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?
How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men
Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons
Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable
and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March
with a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A F**k," still won't leave

Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)

I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL
but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take shit from no one

[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
than you'd wanna f**k me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me
You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him
Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - *kch* the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face
Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL

― chrisso (chrisso), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

No Chrisso, I just think you are a very very strange man!

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 07:04 (twenty years ago)

Fri 22 Jul
St Kilda v Collingwood (Telstra Dome) - St Kilda

Sat 23 Jul
Hawthorn v Carlton (MCG) - Hawthorn
Western Bulldogs v Geelong (Telstra Dome) - Geelong
Brisbane Lions v Essendon (Gabba) - Brisbane
Port Adelaide v Richmond (AAMI) - Port Adelaide

Sun 24 Jul
Sydney Swans v West Coast Eagles (SCG) - Sydney (I'm working on a theory)
Kangaroos v Adelaide (Telstra Dome) - Adelaide
Fremantle v Melbourne (Subiaco) - Fremantle

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 07:24 (twenty years ago)

FNF - Eddies tears will flood the commentary box more than Reiwoldts will flood the bench as the shoulder goes again
Hawks - Fev to kick 10, but it won't be enough as Spider domiates all over the ground
Cats bite dogs
We've got the Power to win, only in Adelaide, we suffering a hangover
Swans in a rugby match
Chardonnay vs VB - Kanberra Kangas in a Sunday skrag
Heave Ho, Freo, Melbournes season is over Yo

― Bennö (Bennö), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 09:05 (twenty years ago)

No Chrisso, I just think you are a very very strange man!

Na Luce, just been trying to bring a song from every genre to start the round. You may have noticed I had a Dean Martin song a few weeks ago! It will be a punk song next week.:-)

― chrisso (chrisso), Wednesday, 20 July 2005 22:55 (twenty years ago)

St Kilda - St Kilda on the march despite their coach 45pts. Surely we wont see collingwood on friday nights next year, put powerhouse vic clubs on show.
Hawthorn - Carlton are rubbish, in debt, not signing players, signing overrated ones and overpaying one particular dud.
Western Bulldogs - Geelong in a close one,
Brisbane Lions - Brisbane easily.
Port Adelaide - Port Adelaide becuase its a home.
Sydney Swans - Sydney, maybe a top 2 finish.
Kangaroos - come on Kangas
Melbourne - might turn their season around against the rabble from the west

― jsa, Thursday, 21 July 2005 00:36 (twenty years ago)

It will be a punk song next week.:-)

Monsters in Disguise - Hazel O'Connor

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:22 (twenty years ago)

So Benno you only picking 7 teams this week or do you think the Brisbane Essendon game will be a total non-event?

Very interesting no one has pick Westy's Eagles!

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Thursday, 21 July 2005 08:24 (twenty years ago)

Saints - Pie's entire team couldn't beat Saints First XI
Hawks - probably the hardest of the round
Cats - easily
Lions - more easily than above
PAP - I'm jase's new best mate
Eagles - tip against them at your peril
Cows - just
Freo - Dees done

― Westener (Westener), Thursday, 21 July 2005 11:31 (twenty years ago)

St Kilda by 60 points..Collingwood have Chris Tarrant.
Carlton. At least they have someone to kick to as Shotgun is off the boil.
Cats. Undermanned Dogs won't give a yelp.
Brisbane. Can't afford to drop games at home against stragglers.
Power. They live up to their name at Girlee and Richmond also undermanned.
Swannies. Small ground may not suit, midfielders to miss the big blokes.
Kangas. Still not convinced about the Cows, they've beaten nothing in the last few weeks.
Freo. The defence is ordinary and Pav will kick another bag.

Cheers,

REB

― Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Thursday, 21 July 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

Tips are in, you bunch of tippers you.

― chrisso (chrisso), Thursday, 21 July 2005 23:42 (twenty years ago)

ST KILDA (28) - have all the momentum
CARLTON - with no confidence at all
GEELONG - season long over for Dogs
LIONS - though Hird's return will help Dons
PAP - reluctantly in Battle of the Blowhards
EAGLES - in yet another G.F.P.
CROWS - finally the MOTN are convincing me
MELB - beating Carlton by five goals has not been considered frightening form just lately

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Friday, 22 July 2005 00:04 (twenty years ago)

Non event. Brown to kick 12 on one leg.

― Bennö (Bennö), Friday, 22 July 2005 02:48 (twenty years ago)

You're kidding me aren't ya? "as Shotgun is off the boil"

Carlton are a rabble ... and don't have a chance in hell!

I could be wrong.

― Hawka (hawka), Friday, 22 July 2005 10:37 (twenty years ago)

You weren't wrong Hawka. Although the Hawks were only a slightly better rabble...

― Bennö (Bennö), Saturday, 23 July 2005 09:09 (twenty years ago)

Hawthorn will do it again, just like last year: get picks 2 and 4, without the odium of winning thir first spoon for 40 years. And that's how it should be. And it's total bulldust to say that 2 and 4 are likely to turn out any significantly worse players than 1 and 3, no matter how thin the draft is.

― Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Monday, 25 July 2005 04:32 (twenty years ago)

Look at the last few Top 5's

2004 - 1 Deledio, Richmond - Gun
2 Roughhead, Hawks - will be a gun
3 Griffen Bulldogs BOG against the Cats
4 Tambling Richmond, could be anything
5 Buddy Franklin, Hawks, could be anything

2003 - 1 Cooney, Dogs, superstar
2 Andrew Walker, Carlton, don't know enough about him...
3 Col Sylvia, Melb, handy
4 Farren Ray, Dogs, handy
5 Brock McLean Melbourne, they have been crap without him

2002 - 1 Brendan Goddard, Saints, gun
2 Dan Wells, Roos, superstar
3 Jarad Brennan, Lions, Injury prone, awesome when fit
4 Tim Walsh, Dogs, dud
5 Jarrad McVeigh, Swans, whatever

Tucked away in the high picks in 2002 were some handy footballers - 37 Brent Staker, Anthony Corrie at 44, Adam Selwood at 53. Each would hold a spot in any other club right now...

― Bennö (Bennö), Monday, 25 July 2005 08:41 (twenty years ago)

Goddard a gun LMAO.

REB

― Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Monday, 25 July 2005 21:04 (twenty years ago)

Aye. Goddard is a joke.

Jarad Brennan, Lions, Injury prone, awesome when fit

Yep, look out for him if it's round 1.

― chrisso (chrisso), Monday, 25 July 2005 22:42 (twenty years ago)

Andrew Walker, Carlton, don't know enough about him..

AKA Billy Ray Cyrus.

― chrisso (chrisso), Monday, 25 July 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

Goddard fits in well at the Saints - as long as someone around him is doing the hard work (Ball, Hamill etc). Quality disposal, quality finisher, a bit soft but I'd have him in my 22 anyway. He's better than Blake Caracella.... but so is syphilis I've been told...

― Bennö (Bennö), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 01:16 (twenty years ago)

3 Jarad Brennan, Lions, Injury prone, awesome when fit

Brennan should be right for Senior selection this week, he's had a couple of games in the twos and was one of BOG last weekend. Yahoo

― Lucy Lion (Lucy Lion), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 05:53 (twenty years ago)

He'll be very handy against a side like the Dawgs Lucy. Not that physical but quick players should suit JB very well.

― Big Bird (Big Bird), Tuesday, 26 July 2005 06:29 (twenty years ago)

This bloke better show some consistency or he'll be off the list no matter how big the hype is.

Has there ever been a bigger hype surrounding a player who has played 10 games in 3 years.

― jsa, Wednesday, 27 July 2005 03:19 (twenty years ago)

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