Robert KnoWalls

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It's time for REB's yearly Robert KnoWalls rant.

About two seasons ago Robert KnoWalls was being pumped up by his fellow bottom feeders (Frederick told me they all meet at Craptus Oval) as a 'respected football analyist'. At the time this was a valid call as he used to come up with some reasonable articles but he must have read all of those articles and clearly the man has gotten sucked into believing his own press because he's come up with some Barry Crockers in the last two seasons.

Last year it was 'The Cats will finish last' which I just loved, and for a while there it looked like he jagged a winner but the Catters couldn't have gone worse last year and we still managed to finish ahead of four other sides.

This year, we have KnoWallsy coming up with 'Adelaide won't make the eight' and now 'Collingwood won't make the eight'. If ever there was a case for bottom feeder drug testing this must be it. Firstly, who WILL bloody make the eight Robert? I guess that will take an Age to find out.

Secondly, even Homer Simpson has enough kidneys to realise that Darth Vader is only using the pre-season period as an audition for the fledgling Pie youngsters and all current form must have a bigger question mark over it than Hawthorn's draw this season. It's not real KnoWallsy, wake up and smell the Tiger Balm ya bearded clam.

As a youngster, Patrick Smith dreamt of being Robert KnoWalls but now it appears that Robert is dreaming of being the next Patrick Smith. Aim for nothing KnoWallsy and you'll hit it every time. That's pretty low, even for a bottom feeder.

regards,

REB


Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Wednesday, 3 March 2004 11:17 (twenty-one years ago)

Why aren't I suprised? Of course the Cats are going to get worse Robert!

OUR "EXPERTS" PREDICT

Dermott Brereton - 12th
Rohan Connolly - 8th
Jake Niall - 13th
Stephen Rielly - 14th
Robert Walls - 16th
Tim Watson - 11th
Caroline Wilson - 14th

Clearly the length of that list needs attention.

regards,

REB

Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:02 (twenty-one years ago)

er..that was from the age btw..

REB

Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:03 (twenty-one years ago)

REB, not sure the cats have showed anything during thewizard cup to suggest they will improve much on last year, id say bottom 6

jsa, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:05 (twenty-one years ago)

With all due respec, Jase, how would you know? You didn't even know who we were playing the Semi Final because you were so fixated on who the Poower were playing in the regional *giggle* challenge series LOL.

regards,

REB

Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 02:45 (twenty-one years ago)

'Mummy, that nasty man in the paper said nasty things about my team. Said they were rubbish and they'd finish last.'

'There there son - we'll get the little paper tomorrow - you know, the one you have to wash your hands after you've read it, and it never ever ever says anything nasty about Mister Howard, and maybe that nice Mister Sheahan will pick them to be premiers. We at least know he won't pick them to finish last. Not unless they turn into Hawthorn. Mister Sheahan hates Hawthorn. No son, I don't know why either. He never played against Hawthorn. In fact, since Mister Sheahan was your age son he hasn't played against anybody. Yes, just like that Mister McAvaney. And Mister Howard.

Maybe Mister Sheahan will put a couple of Geelong players in the last dozen of his absolutely vitally important Top 50 of the AFL. One thing I can say: if there aren't at least a couple of players in Mister Sheahan's new Top 50, and in the top half of it, after the season finishes, we can all say goodbye to Mister Thompson.'

Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 03:36 (twenty-one years ago)

With due respect REB, id hardly call the wizard cup a serious comp, except for the sides that finshed in the bottom half or the clubs who are under the pump.

So whilst i concentrate on the power, im observant enough to suggest that youve beaten an underdone port side with 10 missing, carlton who finished bottom but do have nick stevens and are also going flat out but are still shite, and melbourne who finished 2nd or 3rd last, so based on that and the fact you fell over the line against melb, id hardly suggest you'd be bouncing around the room excited or stupid enough to think they will make the 8, they will struggle to win 8 games

ps the same applies for the redleggers

jsa, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 03:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Jase went dangerously close to paying Nick Stevens a compliment there.

To quote the late great John Lennon: Strange days indeed.

Fred Nerk (Fred Nerk), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 04:32 (twenty-one years ago)

sarcasm fred

jsa, Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:07 (twenty-one years ago)

I reckon we'll win more than 8 but I'm hardly bouncing around the room. Nothing wrong with a bit of passion in our football..or our politics ay Frederick?

regards,

REB

Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 05:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Jeez, Jase. If Hitler came out of Port Adelaide, you'd give him a wrap.

Westener (Westener), Wednesday, 10 March 2004 12:42 (twenty-one years ago)

LOL

Rik E Boy (Rik E Boy), Thursday, 11 March 2004 00:30 (twenty-one years ago)


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