Ashes 2013/14

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http://i26.tinypic.com/2ajucf4.jpg

SHE'S READY

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01759/mitchell_1759076c.jpg

HE'S READY

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01551/Michael_Carberry__1551371c.jpg

HE'S STYLIN'

c'mon what have you got Australia

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 20:32 (eleven years ago)

IMAGO'S TOP FIVE MOST LIKEABLE PLAYERS LIKELY TO FEATURE IN THE SERIES

1) Peter Siddle
2) Nathan Lyon
3) Monty Panesar
4) Steve Finn
5) George Bailey

Disqualified because they won't play: Ed Cowan, Ashton Agar

IMAGO'S TOP FIVE LEAST LIKEABLE PLAYERS LIKELY TO FEATURE IN THE SERIES

1) Stuart Broad
2) Jonathan Trott
3) Shane Watson
4) David Warner
5) Tim Bresnan

LET THE SNARK COMMENCE

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 20:54 (eleven years ago)

Australia batting. Tremlett's 80mph dobblers shortly on show then, if Australia can survive Jimmy And The Bastard

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:37 (eleven years ago)

isnt panesar a bit too laddish for u

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:38 (eleven years ago)

he's a deeply insecure & troubled individual whose efforts to be laddish really don't work, and apparently a lovely bloke in reality. when i met him every other word was a swear word :D

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:40 (eleven years ago)

shd have put Swann in Least Likeable ahead of Bresy

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:41 (eleven years ago)

should ppl image bomb this thread with crap ilx memes too?

sarahell, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:41 (eleven years ago)

yeah def

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

BATNESS RIGHT

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

BATNESS BALLNESS CRICKETNESS

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

this is the ashes

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

the ashes, sarah

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

ASHESNESS

landed a fucken smacker on gr80 in 'maleness' tho, hitherto unremarked

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:42 (eleven years ago)

in what context did u meet banty bantuhtsar?

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:43 (eleven years ago)

lolz straight fire post lolz

get it straight fire = ashes

amirite

sarahell, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:43 (eleven years ago)

in the *bows heads* fenner's indoor net training facility, working on my legspin with a cambridge university cricketer friend of mine. northants were playing the ucce and he was practicing his batting. he asked me if I wanted to bowl at him

and I said

"no sorry, I'm working on something here"

possibly the single most ascetic moment of my entire life

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:44 (eleven years ago)

the afl board needs some ashes content too

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:45 (eleven years ago)

yah maybe some bodyline series stills of halfdead aussie batsmen staggering from the crease

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago)

how shit is he at batting? i don't watch a lot of cricket but isn't he as bad as a spin bowler normally would be

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago)

http://djbrucki.com/uploads/2011/11/DJ-Brucki-Straight-Fire-2-Cover.jpg

amirite

sarahell, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:46 (eleven years ago)

http://images.colourbox.com/thumb_COLOURBOX4249748.jpg

lol american cultural dominance lol

amirite

sarahell, Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:50 (eleven years ago)

lj's ascetism will be a lifelong regret i feel

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:51 (eleven years ago)

samuel beckett once asked if i wanted to play chess but i said no i have a cheese toastie to be getting on with

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:52 (eleven years ago)

panesar's not a v good batsman at pro level but he'd have fucking destroyed me. he was doing all sorts of slogging in the net, practicing his wild smash. never heard net batting so loud

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:53 (eleven years ago)

sounds almost carnal

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:53 (eleven years ago)

so you took your leave because you didn't want the 'tsar to destroy you rather than any sort of highflown asceticism?

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:54 (eleven years ago)

nah it really was asceticism. i was working on my bowling with my friend. that was my day's task. submitting to 'tsar would have been a luxurious & grotesque abasement

veneer timber (imago), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:55 (eleven years ago)

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Wednesday, 20 November 2013 23:57 (eleven years ago)

Nickname Sidvicious, Dermie, Sid

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 21 November 2013 00:13 (eleven years ago)

Nickname Garry / Gazza (after AFL footballer Garry Lyon)

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 21 November 2013 00:14 (eleven years ago)

theres yr afl lead-in imago la

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 21 November 2013 00:14 (eleven years ago)

peter 'vicious' siddle is a full vegan btw

veneer timber (imago), Thursday, 21 November 2013 00:18 (eleven years ago)

nasty stu strikes. bowling to watson & warner. cricket at its most wonderfully evil

veneer timber (imago), Thursday, 21 November 2013 00:21 (eleven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f87siGRmwYc

veneer timber (imago), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:04 (eleven years ago)

For all the carping about the English dietary requirements in the papers the Aussies don't seem to be doing well on the all KFC/VB diet. Are the stumps sponsored by fried chicken or just yellow?

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:43 (eleven years ago)

can i move this thread to afl

kel's vintage port (electricsound), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:44 (eleven years ago)

Vegan the Vicious isn't in yet, backing him to be leading runscorer and wickettaker

veneer timber (imago), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:45 (eleven years ago)

haha this should really be in I LOVE CRICKET: THE CHINATOWN OF ILX but whatever

veneer timber (imago), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:45 (eleven years ago)

I'm sure their is a special tofu double down and a schooner of green swill for him.

xpost

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:58 (eleven years ago)

can i move this thread to afl

― kel's vintage port (electricsound), Thursday, 21 November 2013 03:44 (3 hours ago)

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 21 November 2013 07:12 (eleven years ago)

http://wordrant.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/done1.gif

kel's vintage port (electricsound), Thursday, 21 November 2013 07:28 (eleven years ago)

http://i.imgur.com/86JvqGR.gif

just got dope puppy (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Thursday, 21 November 2013 07:31 (eleven years ago)

this is shaping up to be a really, really good Test

veneer timber (imago), Friday, 22 November 2013 02:02 (eleven years ago)

:p

estela, Friday, 22 November 2013 03:48 (eleven years ago)

hark at the kiwi

veneer timber (imago), Friday, 22 November 2013 03:56 (eleven years ago)

: ) it is true I have no horse in this race.

estela, Friday, 22 November 2013 03:58 (eleven years ago)

surely the fast-bowling stallions of australia merit a personal interest. would you look at mitchell's moustache

veneer timber (imago), Friday, 22 November 2013 04:00 (eleven years ago)

I would not, it's late november, I'm bored of moustaches.

estela, Friday, 22 November 2013 04:03 (eleven years ago)

all contributions to pop surrealism worthy in a sporting context. in many ways johnson is the dali of left arm pace

veneer timber (imago), Friday, 22 November 2013 04:05 (eleven years ago)

carberry meanwhile is (very) slowly turning into the rothko of left arm batting

veneer timber (imago), Friday, 22 November 2013 04:07 (eleven years ago)

However, I must note that the KFC Million Dollar $ix, in which a home viewer is represented by a minor Australian celebrity with some connection to Network Ten on a platform in the crowd - and if said minor Australia celebrity with some connection to Network Ten catches a six from this platform, the home viewer wins a share of ~the million dollars~ - is only the best thing that's ever happened to Cricket in its long, long history.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 21 December 2013 12:57 (eleven years ago)

Kerry Packer cursing from beyond the grave. Why only now?

VENIET IMBER (imago), Saturday, 21 December 2013 13:08 (eleven years ago)

dr discomfort has some lurid revelations, apparently

tour of the long knives

VENIET IMBER (imago), Saturday, 21 December 2013 23:56 (eleven years ago)

swann song, effective immediately.

estela, Sunday, 22 December 2013 00:32 (eleven years ago)

black swann

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 22 December 2013 00:33 (eleven years ago)

Tim Bresnan ✔ @timbresnan
Also,many batsmen around the world have just exhaled a huge sigh of relief. Due to your constant challenge of the stumps and prodigious spin

^^^some fairly heartbreaking pathos in the phrasing here

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 22 December 2013 02:02 (eleven years ago)

also, retired with a bowling average of 29.96 - that was only going one way, convenient timing

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 22 December 2013 02:16 (eleven years ago)

really good bowling will sadly be forever overshadowed by the heinous crime of "popping dat collar, son"

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 22 December 2013 03:48 (eleven years ago)

here begins a tiresome new era of comm-box bantz

JLB Credit (Jack BS), Sunday, 22 December 2013 04:54 (eleven years ago)

oh ffs really

strauss was bad enough

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 22 December 2013 07:22 (eleven years ago)

actually strauss is the worst cricket commentator of all time with the exception of talksport's andrew mckenna but nobody else remembers him

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 22 December 2013 07:23 (eleven years ago)

te defixio, Haddin

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 27 December 2013 05:18 (eleven years ago)

dunno if cursing's gonna work. australia 112-5, got england right where they want them, for now beginneth the innings

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 27 December 2013 05:19 (eleven years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emRpaczdt4I

JLB Credit (Jack BS), Friday, 27 December 2013 08:40 (eleven years ago)

not enough actual death

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 27 December 2013 08:55 (eleven years ago)

Iain O'Brien @iainobrien

You want to face an ex Test fast bowler? - happy to oblige.

Pay costs and a donation to a Mental Illness charity. I'm in.

Iain O'Brien @iainobrien

I'm not as quick as Brett and you're not as dislikeable as Piers....

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 27 December 2013 22:12 (eleven years ago)

this has been a truly pathetic innings even by this tour's standards

VENIET IMBER (imago), Saturday, 28 December 2013 06:09 (eleven years ago)

Three Lions unable to contain one Zinc-coated Lyon.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 28 December 2013 10:14 (eleven years ago)

The best cricket I've seen all week is the Thunder getting close to victory over the Strikers with a swashbuckling M. Hussey innings, only to choke on a final over bowled by *Shaun Tait*.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 28 December 2013 10:16 (eleven years ago)

Real talk from Richard Hadlee: http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/opinion/9560696/Hadlee-Piers-Morgan-Ashes-stunt-dangerous

Actually, my major problem with all this was it gave Piers attention, that's the last thing we want.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 29 December 2013 01:15 (eleven years ago)

Real talk from Shane Warne: relax everyone, we've won this.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 29 December 2013 01:16 (eleven years ago)

http://arockridgelife.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/fournil-sign.jpg

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 29 December 2013 03:36 (eleven years ago)

still one more chance to get on the scoreboard!!

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 29 December 2013 03:44 (eleven years ago)

Cook might even let Monty have a bowl in Sydney.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 29 December 2013 04:06 (eleven years ago)

monty won't play in sydney, they'll pick borthwick with the not unreasonable notion that he can bat

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 29 December 2013 04:20 (eleven years ago)

hmm i guess they'll want guaranteed control tho

maybe they'll put borthwick in for bresnan

idk

it's all shit

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 29 December 2013 04:21 (eleven years ago)

tredwell for monty, borthwick for bresnan. both can bat better than this tail.

VENIET IMBER (imago), Sunday, 29 December 2013 04:22 (eleven years ago)

Can anyone find me a betting service that will allow me to put a tenner on Borthwick going for over 6 an over

JLB Credit (Jack BS), Thursday, 2 January 2014 18:56 (eleven years ago)

^might be good for bailey's avg; prob not though

yuoowemeone, Thursday, 2 January 2014 19:25 (eleven years ago)

I heard Bailey's getting dropped for Faulkner

JLB Credit (Jack BS), Thursday, 2 January 2014 20:16 (eleven years ago)

Oh, good one!

yuoowemeone, Thursday, 2 January 2014 20:31 (eleven years ago)

fuck off haddin yeah

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 3 January 2014 03:06 (eleven years ago)

DEVEREUX
DEVEREUX
DEVEREUX
DEVEREUX
DEVEREUX

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Friday, 3 January 2014 11:14 (eleven years ago)

borthwick, part-timer at best. absolutely clutching at straws by selecting him. why do that to the guy?

free dong commissioner (haitch), Friday, 3 January 2014 11:27 (eleven years ago)

he's our answer to the devmonster, gonna nail a ton from 9

VENIET IMBER (imago), Friday, 3 January 2014 12:06 (eleven years ago)

lawdy lawdy lawwwd

free dong commissioner (haitch), Saturday, 4 January 2014 00:07 (eleven years ago)

Agnew and AB on the local radio coverage worrying if the day 3 pink activities are under threat!

free dong commissioner (haitch), Saturday, 4 January 2014 00:11 (eleven years ago)

Well, at least it's a top order collapse for once. ZING.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Saturday, 4 January 2014 00:18 (eleven years ago)

borthwick 150, broad 100

VENIET IMBER (imago), Saturday, 4 January 2014 03:33 (eleven years ago)

ah look as long as heads roll this is all kinda fine

VENIET IMBER (imago), Saturday, 4 January 2014 03:48 (eleven years ago)

RIP English Cricket, The Ashes will be etc.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 5 January 2014 04:04 (eleven years ago)

Chris Rogers to WG Grace this shit and play international cricket until the age of 51.

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 5 January 2014 04:07 (eleven years ago)

this is so much better than 06-07

free dong commissioner (haitch), Sunday, 5 January 2014 05:41 (eleven years ago)

has papered over the fragile aus top order a bit, though. can't imagine south africa's bowlers will let haddin off the hook like the britishes have.

free dong commissioner (haitch), Sunday, 5 January 2014 05:50 (eleven years ago)

this is so much better than 06-07

realest of real talk

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 5 January 2014 06:04 (eleven years ago)

in regards to South Africa: the best can only get better, we may find a batsman to replace George Bailey yet

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 5 January 2014 06:05 (eleven years ago)

http://www.tvshowsondvd.com/graphics/news3/HawaiiFive0_S9.jpg

haim goin ham (King Boy Pato), Sunday, 5 January 2014 06:09 (eleven years ago)

challenging prediction: in SA our batsmen will be as un/successful as the English batsmen were in this Ashes

yuoowemeone, Sunday, 5 January 2014 06:25 (eleven years ago)

cursed

lovely cuddly fluffy dope (imago), Friday, 17 January 2014 11:09 (eleven years ago)

13-0 still on

Kim Wrong-un (Neil S), Friday, 17 January 2014 11:15 (eleven years ago)


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