A thread where you commission a novel from ILB

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- an airport paperback about a guy who invents a time machine. He goes back and saves John Lennon from being shot and brings him back to our time. Lennon becomes a messiah figure but must remain underground because of the Chapman cult which has sworn Fatwa on him.

- a 1000-page book about a narcissisist who clones himself, marries the clone, and then gets his heart broken when the clone, possessed of the same narcissism, clones himself in turn and leaves the original guy because the new clone, being a clone, is more exactly like him.

- a chick-lit novel about a woman who works for a temp agency and who has fleeting yet torrid office romances with all her temporary coworkers. Someone must inherit a bakery, someone must be possessed of mild extra-sensory perception and someone must speak German.

- a young reader book about a girl who's ostracized by her schoolmates. She develops a solvent in chemistry class which when left on a chair eats holes in the seats of their pants. For a brief time she is involved in an Al Qaeda cell, but then she realizes that she's been wrong about a lot of things. She goes back to her home town and marries one of the boys who used to pick on her. There must be a sex scene in an armoire.

- an inspirational novel about a guy who relocates saguaro cacti when highways are put through the desert. He has a terrible facial disfigurement and over the years has grown as prickly as the cacti he tries to save. Finally his heart is thawed by the love of a blind Australian Cattle Dog.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Sunday, 26 February 2006 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

I hear you're the poet among us, Beth. You get to work and I'll tell you if they're any good or not (I am a lousy poet, but an excellent back-seat poet).

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 26 February 2006 21:03 (nineteen years ago)

Oh wait, a novel? I'll get right on it.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Sunday, 26 February 2006 22:56 (nineteen years ago)

This is a thread for Octobers, while waiting for NaNoWriMo.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 27 February 2006 00:19 (nineteen years ago)

- a novel in which a novice message-board participant is bewildered by the cryptic references she encounters there and reponds by retreating to her monastic cell to question the meaning of existence. Amazingly, she discovers it!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 01:36 (nineteen years ago)

Responds

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 01:37 (nineteen years ago)

Surely you know from NaNoWriMo. If not, you should do it this year.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 27 February 2006 01:39 (nineteen years ago)

What is it?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 01:57 (nineteen years ago)

Is it that write-a-novel-in-a-month thing?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 01:58 (nineteen years ago)

Aye.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 27 February 2006 02:11 (nineteen years ago)

I've never attempted more than a short story, but I suppose I could work up the nerve.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 02:19 (nineteen years ago)

anyone fancy a game of exquisite corpse?

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 27 February 2006 03:22 (nineteen years ago)

I do, I do! What is it?

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Monday, 27 February 2006 07:27 (nineteen years ago)

You write or draw something together, taking turns. You fold the paper so that only the edge of the previous drawing shows, or the last line of the poem/story. Obviously we can't do that here. Who cares. Let's do it! Lay the ground rules, Tom.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:28 (nineteen years ago)

(Nevermind this, I'm testing)

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:35 (nineteen years ago)

Well, that didn't work.

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

I should say not!

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Monday, 27 February 2006 19:38 (nineteen years ago)

three weeks pass...

I have a half-done NaNoWriMo novel you are welcome to. (To What, you may ask?) But, nevermind.

― pepektheassassin (pepektheassassin), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 05:57 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yes Beth, you should NaNo. Everyone should do it at least once.

― Zora (Zora), Tuesday, 21 March 2006 11:29 (nineteen years ago)

What stops people from cheating? From submitting something they've been honing for decades? Their own HONOR?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 12:47 (nineteen years ago)

Pepek, is your half-done novel about your uncle? Did you leave him on an ice floe?

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 12:53 (nineteen years ago)

What stops people from cheating?

I believe the paltriness of the (external) reward is an effective deterrent to cheating. Your novel is made available on the web - which, when it comes to inspiring venality, is not exactly in the same league as an all-expense paid trip to Niagra Falls, or even a free toaster oven.

OTOH, the internal rewards are as great whether you wrote it in one month or ten years, and if you didn't do the writing yourself, they're just as non-existant.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 22 March 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

Your novel isn't even made available on the web afaik, unless you arrange it (it might make it unpublishable, assuming it was anything approaching publishable in the first place). You get a link to a certificate you can print out though! \o/

There were over 50,000 participants last year and nearly 10,000 'winners'. Prizes wouldn't really be practical. The honor system seems to work a treat.

― Zora (Zora), Saturday, 25 March 2006 11:38 (nineteen years ago)

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