Worst sex scene in a Stephen King book

it's it.

it is

a few contenders besides tho

He fumbled with his viscous turkey leg and, with a gibbering moan, wedged it between her squamous hamhocks. The sensation was not unlike that of cramming a fistful of pizza dough into a public toilet. They thrashed their supple, ashen bodies against one another like two frightened ponies who've been tied together and thrown out of a plane.

lol

Icicle dick was really scary to me

In general I think most of these are ok in conception if not in execution (pulp horror isn’t & shouldn’t be about good taste, by all means put an incubus in your novel!) & in keeping with sk’s oft-stated process of typing out whatever fucked up shit comes into his head. For me it’s the sex scenes where he’s not trying to be creepy that make him come over as a creep, along with the offhand little o_0 remarks like burst hymen (feel like there are countless examples of these) & just general men writing women breasted boobily stuff

I sometimes think one reason king appeals to young readers so much is that he has a relatably immature view of sex: CONSTANTLY horned up and totally clueless as to how any of it actually works (lol I remember a comedian saying that if king didn’t have a son that looks identical to him nobody would believe he had ever done it)

Lol yeah wins, I found this post last night which contains a litany of bad from The Stand only and it said

This is all to say that many kids—myself included—were probably exposed to the notion of sex through Stephen King, and I have to say: poor us. His sex stuff is as detailed and emotionally mature as a 13-year-old boy’s diary. It’s like a bubbling cauldron of erotica, grocery store romance novels and the grotesquerie that defines his gooiest creations. Every time I read one his sex scenes, I imagine King cracking his knuckles, leaning into his ‘80s-era Wang Computer, and just letting the magic flow.

you're saying it's because of the wang

I distinctly recall reading a King line (in a Nightmares and Dreamscapes story, I think?) about a Black woman's nipples tasting like honey flecked with pepper and even when I was too young to have any idea what I was talking about I confidently called bullshit on that one.

I assume a lot of this (like the infamous IT child orgy) was a product of King hammering out novels while coked up to the eyeballs for most of the eighties, lot of "This sounded great when I was fucked up last night, oh well I'll just go with it" vibe to it. Be interesting to see if he still does this in his clean years.

Being out of his nut all the time has to have had an effect but a lot of his most “cocainey” books are from after he got sober

My challop is that the scene in it is really not as bad as everybody says — or, to immediately start walking this back lol, it is obv very badly handled & the gender dynamic is particularly awful, I get why it’s bewildering that it was published — I don’t tho agree with the notion that a scene like this in a book like this is inherently beyond the pale. Thematically and tonally it is not out of step with the rest of the book

This was an easy choice.

IT by a country mile but these are all in their way O_o

ok there was this terrible scene in this terrible book (not by steven king) where there’s a fully clothed lady, and she’s facing a life-size satanic crucifix statue with much hard one, and the statue toppled over onto the lady and took her virginity? it is possible that i am too innocent & sheltered but the geometry of this seems improbable, even with satan guiding the dong. this isn’t a thing, right? i don’t yet have access to enough life-size satanic crucifix statues to see for myself.

what is it?

This thread was reminding me last night of some of the erotic moments of James Herbert, definitely a horror dude thing

Feel like whatever the hell happens in "Dedication" ought to count in this poll.

I remember some very unfortunate masturbation content in The Talisman, but I couldnt say if it was a King chapter or a Peter Straub chapter.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I9X10nSxqEk/TwZp0hazhBI/AAAAAAAAE9s/CwEnd-obERI/s1600/hell%2Bhouse%2Bwarner%2Bbooks.JPG

note the s.k. bad sex seal of approval

Write-in vote for my favourite King sex scene is when the mom in Pet Seminary edges the dad with a sponge in the bathtub, gives him the orgasm of his life, he sputters "where'd you learn to do that", she replies "girl scouts"

*Sematary obv

Do they have to wear dog collars in a pet seminary?

Pet Seminary

https://imgur.com/i0q80jV.jpg

The Catican
The Puppacy
yuk yuk yuk
etc

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

obv

the burst cherry atop the sploogy cornucopia