change one letter in a book title..

The New Pork Trilogy -- A pig watches himself disappear in Manhatten.

Rob Joy -- A story of a highlander party-pooper.

War and Pease -- A good wholsome meal gets more than 500 soldiers
back on their feet.

Mopy-Dick -- Ishmael ain't gettin' none.

The princess of our hearts sails the Pacific with a Bengal tiger. Has affairs with cads along the way.

This sounds like one of my threads!

A melancholy and disenchanted Frenchman kills people with his bare hands.

A melancholy and disenchanted girl considers her life to be like a hell in a jar.

Guy makes perfume from garbage, lives forever.

It's about cakes and buddha

It's about that bloke out of New Order

A young boy in the South uses writs and suits to avoid going to school and to have fun.

Existential tale of a dentist in a North African town with bad oral hygiene.

The less controversial sequel.

Dumped, she turns to drink

I'd so buy that book.

Lucky Jam
a story of hardship and marmalade

The Raves of Steel
robots get into hiphop
;)

bush finds his justification...in a family of ducks.

A Talc of Two Cities
Two men's rash adventures during the French Revolution.

A environmentally concious young woman is slowly corrupted by her struggle against the enormous piles of rubbish produced by her family and neighbours.

The Old Man and the Pea
An old man in a boat tries to catch a small garden vegetable.

The Trill
Josef K.'s learns how to whistle.

Lolite
Now 50 pages shorter.

A trendy update.

Alyosha emigrates to Nevada.

Love Among the Bruins

Walker Percy novel about narcissistic UCLA co-eds.

To its credit, Ulysses already makes this wordplay!

Unintelligible Nazi with a heart of gold

Memoirs of a killer in da hood.

Gulliver’s Gravels
Landscape gardening ideas from around the world

Vanity Hair
Becky Sharp’s hairdressing tales

The Big Sleet
Fashion tips : what the well-dressed detective wears during inclement weather

The Tipping Paint -- Malcolm Gladwell confesses his ineptitude as regards home repair.

The Griller Inside Me -- Arrogant Texas sheriff can't disguise his compusion to barbecue.

The Pound Of The Baskervilles - Holmes and Watson in a tricky situation involving a pound note

On The Peach - Nuclear catastrophe renders fruit inedible

Room At The Kop - One man's ambitious struggle to get a season ticket at Anfield.

Bridget Jones' Dairy -- In which a v.v. weight-obsessive London career girl packs it all in for life as a cornfed farm wife.

About a Goy -- Affluent caddish slacker pretends to be Jewish to pick up Orthodox chicks.

Walking on Grass - Footie pitch invasions.

Poles - Kids at a correctional camp have to work putting up phone masts. In Poland.

On the Beech - kids climbing trees miraculously survive world war 3 - but can they climb back down?

Orchestral member confused about instrument.

Fierce mobs of prog rockers battle it out for psychedelic supremacy on the streets of the Lower East Side.

Business ain't looking good for eccentric New England hoteliers/bears.

He-man's self destructive love for She-Ra

The Rage of Innocence

Nuns vow revenge when they hear that priests have been getting some

Strong Lotion

A plot to rid the world of nuclear waste by disguising it as hand lotion

No Edit

The death of a professor finds him in hell forced to read 8th grade essays without a red pen

(um and I don't know how to do italics so if someone could fill me in...?)

From Russia with Glove
After performing in Moscow, Jacko’s off-stage antics necessitate a hasty retreat.

Our Nan in Havana
While in Cuba on a cigar smuggling holiday, a grandmother gets enlisted as Fidel Castro’s double.

How To Bin Friends And Influence People.
Superlative follow-up, but one which focuses on how to dump those you feel are no longer of any use to you once you've reached the top, while still managing to be a figure of respect and influence to those that you may still need to call upon (judges, chief of police, Mormon lobbyists) at some stage in the future. Invaluable.

The French Lieutenant's Women
How men were really men back in Victorian times.

Ken and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.
Handy tips from your favourite grease monkey.

Empire of the Bun
Deep in an Icelandic rainforest a flange of baboons pray daily to a doughnut left behind by a quantity surveyor eleven years previously.

The Stank - Mutant strain of the 'flu makes everyone smell really bad.

How to make an American Quit - Life on the John Kerry campaign trail.

Hell's Angles - Hunter S Thompson tries to get his head around complex geometry. He fails.

Fewer Pitch - Scandal of the Thatcher government's "Selling off playing fields" policy.

Probably more to come...

Hemmingway fights against fascism, tyranny and the move to St Marys

The Fun Also Rises: "The rollicking sequel!"

Pills Like White Elephants: "Okay, that's enough already."

Bird gets pissed, falls into well.

Baseball novel for housewives.

Fly-fishing guide for incarcerated neanderthals

The Mall on the Floss: Confessions of a Shopaholic (2005 off-Broadway modernization of the Eliot classic)

A Farewell to Alms: Modernism and the Death of Good Samaritanism.

The Pilot's Life (prequel to The Pilot's Wife; terribly corny, sorry).

MicBeth: How to Americanize Shakespeare's English

The Sound and the Jury. "The verdict's out! Grisham's best to date!"

To the Light-Horse. Fantasy novel for undiscriminating urban commuters or six-year-old girls.

Native Hon: Tale of the Sassy Black Girl.

Animal Fart: A light-hearted spin on Orwell's weighty allegory.

Wise Blond. A sarcastic, unauthorized biography of Martha Stewart.

On The Toad. Your guide to natural hallucinogens.

Porknoy's Complaint: The Unkosher Version.

From Hare to Eternity: How the Easter Bunny Usurped Jesus in American Culture.

Baked Lunch (pamphlet). Your guide to eating smart, on the go!

Y, by Thomas Pynchon. Why not.

Remembrance of Thongs Past: A French Prostitute's Epic Memoir.

And Then There Were Nine. Luckily, no one else died!

"Yonder Boys" - Chabon's followup to the acclaimed "Mysteries of Tuscaloosa"

Grave New World. Aldous Huxley's masterwork, but with depressants instead of soma.

Mon Quixote. The love story between a Frenchwoman and her idealistic lover.

Of Lice and Men. An accident brings tragedy for two vermin hunters.

King Leer. An aging monarch's efforts to keep his image virile.

Little's Women. A man with an unpresuming name nonetheless accumulates a harem.

Of Hello. Tragedy ensues when Iago suggests to a husband that his wife's habits of greeting people just might not be as innocent as it seems.

Old Beller. Quasimodo survives until retirement age.

Logan's Bun. (Okay, it's cheating a bit). The world has changed for bread as we know it today.

The Monkey's Saw. (Also cheating a bit). A chilling short story about a mysterious hand tool that brings disaster in its wake.

Handsome, innocent young Dorian is painted in stark winter colours. 15 years later the portrait has turned pink, the picture frame is a triangle and Dorian himself is seen holding a copy of Bronski Beat's Greatest Hits.

The Ma Vinci Code -- Jesuits, Rosicrucians and Masons on the trail of a legendary pasta recipe.

The Name of the Pose -- A secret order of voguing monks schemes and preens in pre-Renaissance Italy.

Zan: The old man and the Pea. I can just imagine this old man trying to catch the pea on his plate, working as hard as another man trying to catch a big fish. He finally thinks he´s got it, but then it slips from his fork. Tired and exhausted he finally gives up and dies of starvation.
Beckett could have written a great story like this. 150 pages of this would be wonderfully absurd.
I feel a bit like trying myself. It could be fun. But I also feel that it would be like steeling, as I didn´t come up with the idea myself. What a shame. I wish I had.

Smell Island (Angela Levy): Life in the 1950s on an offshore dumping ground.

The Great Fare (Shirley Hazzard): Scandal of rising train ticket prices.

A Hat Full of Ska (Terry Pratchett): Story of a magical musical hat that emits Madness, Specials and Bad Manners tunes.

Price and Prejudice (Jane Austen) High price items are overvaluated