Insightfully, with author names

Use the names of authors to make wise yet naggingly familiar statements. examples:

Tipsy Like the Wolff
(When I am drunk, I write like her)

It's a Rushdie Job
(sloppily, quickly written piece which contains long, never-ending and incomprehensible sentences)

Losing my Saul
(bad writing will condemn you to an insect infested hell)

The Adams Family
(this time entirely consisting of rabbits)
:)