things we do whilst reading

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1. floss

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

2. smoke (this never works well)
3. drink (nor this)

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:33 (twenty years ago)

4. make endless successions of cups of tea (this is sometimes helpful, but rarely)

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:34 (twenty years ago)

5. listen to records

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:35 (twenty years ago)

5a. listen to records to such an extent that one can not really claim to be 'reading' insofar as one has remained on the same page for the duration of the record and if pressed could not point out where on it one is*
5b. listen to records in such a way that one does not actually notice them, whilst still somehow managing not to read

*(has anyone ever made a deal out of the uh metaphysics of where one happens to 'be' in a book? i imagine so, oh well)

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:37 (twenty years ago)

6. think "i wonder if anything interesting has happened on the internet in the eight minutes since last i looked"

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:38 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, that last one especially.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:51 (twenty years ago)

7. Count how many pages until the end of the chapter/book/sentence or the next footnote.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 5 December 2005 04:52 (twenty years ago)

8. count lines per page

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 06:14 (twenty years ago)

8. Slowly close my eyes and then wonder why I have stopped reading, but be so relaxed that I don't want to open my eyes (spoils it) or go to sleep (it doesn't reproduce the same sensation).

― Navek, Monday, 5 December 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

8a. count characters per line
8b. do elementary arithmetic tricks

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 06:15 (twenty years ago)

tonite i have done: 1, 2, 4, 5b, 6, 7, not navek's 8 or mine yet but give it ten minutes, i assure you

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 06:23 (twenty years ago)

9. Lose focus on the page and start seeing patterns in the white space between letters. Eventually see drawings in the ink.

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 5 December 2005 09:19 (twenty years ago)

Oh pardon me, I used "eventually" in a Norwegian sense there. "Or possibly see drawings in the ink" is what I meant.

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 5 December 2005 09:21 (twenty years ago)

The Norwegian sense of "eventually"?

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 5 December 2005 09:49 (twenty years ago)

discus

― bato (bato), Monday, 5 December 2005 10:43 (twenty years ago)

The Norwegian word "eventuelt", which unfortunately doesn't have the same meaning as the english word "eventually".

― Øystein in the woodpile (shut that door) (Øystein), Monday, 5 December 2005 11:10 (twenty years ago)

We have come this far without mentioning the lav?

― Mädchen (Madchen), Monday, 5 December 2005 12:37 (twenty years ago)

* Smoke
* Soak in bath
* Eat and drink
* Stir things on stove
* Brush teeth (brush w/ right hand, hold book w/ left)
* Daydream

So pretty much anything I can do one-handed and while only half-looking is fair game to be combined with the book of the moment.

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:29 (twenty years ago)

snigger

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

sorry. i have an immature sense of humour.

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

Stare angrily every few seconds at girl talking loudly on cell phone in bus seat across from me.

Pause live TV.

Shift into various positions to make myself comfortable depending on whether I'm in a bed or a chair, whether I'm on the left page or the right, and whether I'm reading hardcover or paperback. (Related: Devise plans in my head for a device that would hold a book for someone to read in the most comfortable way possible, without the use of hands.)

― zan, Monday, 5 December 2005 15:59 (twenty years ago)

Cry.

― zan, Monday, 5 December 2005 16:00 (twenty years ago)

Take off clothes. Paint willy orange. Invade Chad.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Pet the cat, who keeps nudging the book.

― Jaq (Jaq), Monday, 5 December 2005 16:20 (twenty years ago)

numbers, people!

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 17:59 (twenty years ago)

64. Wonder about the book I'm going to read next.

― Navek, Monday, 5 December 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

63. think about the book i was just reading.

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:12 (twenty years ago)

64. Look for acrostics and anagrams (Yes, I'm a big ol' dork)

― Øystein (Øystein), Monday, 5 December 2005 19:36 (twenty years ago)

(considerable xp: tom, there are books for that, too)

― Laurel (Laurel), Monday, 5 December 2005 20:25 (twenty years ago)

my first thought was that was in ref'rence to my (cough) metaphysics-of-presence-whilst-reading question. i'm quite disappointed now.

63. hum

― tom west (thomp), Monday, 5 December 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

64. Think about the poems I would make with the text if only I had an electronic version of it to give to my robot poet army.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:27 (twenty years ago)

66. Start thinking about something that happened to me earlier that day.

― o. nate (onate), Monday, 5 December 2005 22:29 (twenty years ago)

63. you have a robot poet army?

― tom west (thomp), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 01:08 (twenty years ago)

64. Well, a virtual robot poet army.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 01:59 (twenty years ago)

63. oh, okay.

― tom west (thomp), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 02:46 (twenty years ago)

64. become aware that I am reading

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

63. become aware that I am not reading

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 11:07 (twenty years ago)

64. Think, "if I were the sort of person who took notes while reading, that is something I'd take a note about".

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 11:22 (twenty years ago)

63. dog-ear the page to go back later to take notes

― cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 11:43 (twenty years ago)

64. Laugh out loud, interrupt the reading of the person reading across the coffee table from you, then read aloud the appropriate funny/ironic/esoteric bit.

― Jaq (Jaq), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:02 (twenty years ago)

65. pick my nose
66. scratch various indelicate bits of myself
67. burp
68. circle typoes

― remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:16 (twenty years ago)

69. Fall asleep

― o. nate (onate), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:17 (twenty years ago)

70. poo
70a. wash hands.
71b. get water on the page
70c. dry page with hairdryer
70d. apologize to the book

― remy (x Jeremy), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:18 (twenty years ago)

Study the typeface. And the typography/printing/paper/binding/cover.

― Orange (Orange), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:43 (twenty years ago)

(71.)

― Orange (Orange), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 16:45 (twenty years ago)

71b. Reread the colophon.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 17:48 (twenty years ago)

63. what on earth is a colophon, showoff

― tom west (thomp), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 20:55 (twenty years ago)

64. It's the note at the end telling you about the construction of the book -- the font, the paper, whatevs. Also it's the publisher's logo, but that's not what I meant.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:23 (twenty years ago)

71. It can also be at the beginning. I like colophons.

― Orange (Orange), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 21:51 (twenty years ago)

(I like them too, if only because it pretty much guarantees that something unusual has been done or used! You wouldn't bother telling the world about it if you set the type in Times New Roman and printed on 40# groundwood.)

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:00 (twenty years ago)

(71. Well, all the standard info about publishers and copyrights count as colophon as well, doesn't it?)

― Orange (Orange), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:36 (twenty years ago)

(No, that all goes on the copyright page in tiny, tiny type, although the publisher's logo usually found on the title page is TECHNICALLY referred to as a colophon -- but it stands alone on the TP because for most books there's no point in providing any further information -- if there are any more meticulous details of typesetting or etc, it will appear in the back. In the case of a limited edition it might give the total print quantity or even cite the book number but I've never seen such a thing with my own two eyes.)

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 22:45 (twenty years ago)

(Seriously? I have many books that are "187/300" or whatever. Anyway "colophon" oringally meant something like "the last word" or somesuch.)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:06 (twenty years ago)

anthony easton on freakytrigger was talking one time about wanting to make an anthology or an art exhibit or something of 'a note on the type' things. which are the same thing? i think. i never seem to have them in books i'm reading, which is a pity. maybe i should buy more expensive books. anyway it seems like a good idea, his idea.

― tom west (thomp), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:19 (twenty years ago)

(Yep! Colophon from LL, Greek, meaning "summit, finishing touch". I can't even IMAGINE printing that few copies, Chris, the unit cost must be through the colloquial roof. Our contract printer simply won't do fewer than 1500 -- it's not worth their time to even set up the press & run the makeready. Of course I work for the usual kind of soul-sucking media giant and not, say, a university press or boutique house, but what kinds of books do you have that only ran at 300?!?)

― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 6 December 2005 23:33 (twenty years ago)

tom, some mass-market books have colophons. i think the last murakami did. the hardcover, at least.

o'reilly technical books always have them! very very informative ones too.

― Josh (Josh), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 03:20 (twenty years ago)

(Poetry, of course, usually not perfect bound.)

(O'Reilly books have it all.)

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 04:41 (twenty years ago)

72. Become delusionial and start plotting to read the entire English canon within the next few years.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:10 (twenty years ago)

72b. Oh, come on, the Ancient Greek canon is at least finite, surely one could do that.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:39 (twenty years ago)

I do have a gift for languages, after all, so why not just do it in the original.

― Abbadabba Berman (Hurting), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 05:50 (twenty years ago)

tom, some mass-market books have colophons. i think the last murakami did. the hardcover, at least.

Oh, sure! The US hardcover edns of the Harry Potter books have colophons at the ends, I seem to remember, but that might be a function of the Arthur Levine imprint being a little more literary/prestigious/etc than the main lists.

― Laurel (Laurel), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 15:06 (twenty years ago)

eat

― Fred (Fred), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 16:44 (twenty years ago)

73. Wish I'd written the book.
74. Wonder how come this illiterate talentless idiot can get a book published when I can't.

― accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

75. Curse the person who made notes in the margin/underlined and/or highlighted chunks of text/dunked pages in tea.

76. Be horrified and/or fascinated by notes made in margin by someone else.

― RR (restandrec), Wednesday, 7 December 2005 23:24 (twenty years ago)

77 make notes in the margin
78 underline and/or highlight chunks of text

― tom west (thomp), Thursday, 8 December 2005 00:08 (twenty years ago)

For Tom.

― RR (restandrec), Thursday, 8 December 2005 03:46 (twenty years ago)

63.

English: May Monica Lewinsky weaken your heart.

Irish: Go lagaí Monica Lewinsky do chroí.

Phonetic: guh LAH-gwee [Monica Lewinsky] duh KHREE.

― tom west (thomp), Thursday, 8 December 2005 04:57 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

start seeing patterns in the white space between letters

Idly pluck individual pubic hairs, re-read entirety of what I read the night before because I read it in an exhausted and/or drunken stupor and can't remember a thing, do battle with the comforter that's always sliding off the bed, pull covers up so that my shoulders are not exposed to the draft, eventually drop book on my chest when I fall asleep, which startles me out of said sleep, act like nothing happened. Go pee.
Repeat all.

― Beth Parker (Beth Parker), Tuesday, 10 January 2006 03:26 (twenty years ago)

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