Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Nightwing #3: This book just keeps getting better and better. A new bad guy (although, it has to be said, one that Dick appears to completely have the better of after their first encounter, so probably no staying power there) and great pacing as the storyline builds and Dick's life - the one that he never had, since he was with Bruce - is laid out for all to see. Maybe this always happened in the Nightwing book? All I remember about it was that city got destroyed when Chemo got dropped on it. Plus Dick gets to make the sex with the hawt redhead. UNLEASH THE NIGHTWANG! What could possibly make this book better? "Next issue: Batgirl". Because she's only in about half a dozen books already next month. Babs is going to have a busy old time of it.

Red Hood & The Outlaws #3: WHY DID #1 OF THIS COME OUT.

Obviously this is a rhetorical question, since if #1 hadn't come out then neither could #2 or #3. Fact-checkin' Ed.

Supergirl #3: We get plot development (but not anything we haven't seen before). We get a new bad guy (who is basically Kara's version of Lex Luthor, which makes you wonder how he existed for so long with nobody noticing). We get a new artist (who isn't as good as the previous one). We get a real sense of deja vu (and a slight sense of boredom).

Wonder Woman :3 I have no idea why crab claws are so important, or what they're a metaphor for, but they feature really heavily in this issue. And they're really tasty, which is presumably a subliminal message to get me to like this. Luckily I like it anyway. It's still more Perez than Lovecraft (which was what we were promised) and OH LOOK, SOME SEXING but it feels like it's going somewhere and next month seems to see us back of Paradise Island which might improve it. A slow burner.

CATCHUP:

All Star Western #3: The Gotham Butcher plot concludes just as the cover promises, with guns and gore. This has been the best Hex storyline in a number of years - Doctor Arkham mans up and we see a whole pile of retribution but the sides appear able to co-exist after the resolution. But just when it looks like Hex is leaving (and his interplay with Arkham and Gotham itself as he tries to get out is really well done) he gets sucked into something else... I guess he may be sticking around the city for a bit longer. The backup El Diablo strip is neither here nor there, to be honest, but it's nice to see some second (third?) string Western characters get a run out. I still can't decde whether this is one of the highlights of the reboot or not, since it's still pretty much the same book it was before the reboot.

Aquaman #3: Arthur Curry is a dick, everyone knows it and his powers are so shit everyone laughs at him. That's pretty much all you need to know about Geoff Johns' take on him. There's a fight with last month's new baddies and a bit of development for them where we find out some genetic stuff about them (with another cast-iron opportunity for Aquaman to be a dick and show off his new power of flight) but there's not really enough in this to make it endearing - there's always the hint of Johnsiness about it to put you off - but maybe the mystery of whose trident it is might be worth keeping up with.

Batman The Dark Knight #3: Disappointingly, the Joker elements of this (which have been the most entertaining parts) are wrapped up in the opening pages which leaves us with David Finch trying to puff up his own new David Finch character, the White Rabbit. Who, surprise, surprise, is an sexey womang in an impractical and ridiculous outfit. Flash appears and is immediately sidelined so he plays no further part in the story, and we get one of the most bizarre lines of dialogue in the Johnsiverse: "Thank God for small mercies and lace panties." Is this really something people say? Google suggests it's only ever appeared in amateur pr0n fiction and I think I believe them. The Bat-stuff in this is good, the rest not so much. I'm sure the actual David Finch content in David Finch's own book will soon dwindle to nothing. Will this improve it? Who knows. Or possibly cares.

Blackhawks #3: I like the talking dogs. I don't care about the rest of it. It has the heart of a decent espionage book but it just tries too hard, throwing ideas at the wall to see what sticks - the only propblem is that when you get to the end you realise it's ALL supposed to have stuck which just makes it a confused mess. Still, talking dogs, eh?

Firestorm #3: OH NOES, THE TRAGEDY OF A SUPER-SOLDIER! Oh noes, the tragedy of this book, more like. Helix could have been pretty good, and the world through his eyes is the one memorable thing about this, but we get minor plot development and a HUGE fight which at times appears to have been blown up to make it fill the page more. This is really going nowhere.

― aldo, Friday, 2 December 2011 12:31 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

Flash #3: I hate to bring the ghost of Eisner into this, but from the title page onwards this reminds me of nothing more than The Spirit. Has the Flash ever landed a plane that way before? I'm not sure. But the cliffhanger! THRILLING!

Green Lantern New Guardians #3: What's that you say? Kyle Rayner is the most powerful bestest Lantern ever? Careful now, Hal Jordan will covet his ring... Bleez has clearly been through the process from Red Lanterns, but has degraded back to being a typical Red Lantern, it looks like. Really, you'd think there should be an editor in charge of the whole thing to ensure continuity, or something. In top JRJr-biting, some panels of this could have been in Kick-Ass. Anyway, it turns out the whole plot WHICH WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO TRICK EVERYBODY IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, INCLUDING EVERYONE ON OA was just a construct of the Orange Lantern (no, me neither) Glomulus. Or maybe Larfleeze. Who may also be called Agent Orange. OH WAIT, IT A GEOFF JOHNS CHARACTER.* Kyle says "God, this just keeps getting worse..." and I know how he feels.

* Amongst other appearances, there is this. My head hurts.

Larfleeze Christmas Special

On Christmas Day, Larfleeze is outraged to discover that Santa Claus hasn't brought him anything that he asked for. He attacks every costumed Santa in the nearby town, and tries to melt the North Pole, only to be stopped by Hal Jordan. Jordan tells Larfleeze of Christmas spirit, and how it comes from giving. On Hal's suggestion, Larfleeze gives away every item in his mountain of possessions, but afterwards declares that he doesn't like Christmas spirit. Jordan then suggests that he look over his Christmas list and see if he actually needed anything there. That night, Larfleeze stares at a part of his list, on which he had written "my family".

I, Vampire #3: This is still beautiful but I'm not sure why it's being shoehorned into crossovers. Next month sees us in Gotham City, and features John Constantine (presumably the Johnsiverse Constantine from Justice League Dark and not the Vertigo one). I'm finding less reasons to stay with this month on month, but staying for now.

Justice League Dark #3: Constantine and Zatanna have the sex! Deadman desperately tries to get his end away with June Moon! The M-Vest tries to make a new Kathy for Shade to have the sex with! There's almost a plot! GET ON WITH IT! (NB this review only has slightly more exclamation marks than the cover of this book)

― aldo, Friday, 2 December 2011 13:23 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

Savage Hawkman #3: No no no no no. A confused mess again. The muddy art doesn't help one jot, but Morphicus seems to be alive, then dead, then cut up, then never have existed, then alive again. And Hawkman? Fuck knows. Anyway, next issue promises "The Final Showdown". Pity I won't be there to see it.

Superman #3: CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR ACTION COMICS. I mean, seriously, why print what happens in Action #4 onwards as part of this issue? IF ONLY THERE WAS A JOHNSIVERSE EDITOR. Anyway, back to the comic itself and this still has lots and lots and lots of words. Far too many. Yet again, this book concentrates about half the page-count to a fight which is part of a bigger overarching plot and still overlays it with so many text boxes you can't see it properly. This will convert nobody.

Teen Titans #3: This is still a joy from front to back. As I've said before, Kid Flash is the undisputed star of the book but Red Robin begins to come into his own in this as well and the team looks mostly complete. I'm still not absolutely sold on the Jim Lee-lite art (especially Wonder Girl in the hospital, which just looks... odd...) but I can get over it. I'm very pleasantly surprised how much I'm getting out of it and very happy that I am.

Voodoo #3: This doesn't really go anywhere. There's a whole load of plot (which doesn't actually make anything much clearer) and some kind of distinction between whatever Voodoo is and whatever the other aliums are which is good enough to get one over on Kyle Rayner (who, let's not forget, is shown elsewhere this month to be the bestest Lantern ever). And then somebody dies in the end. Oh well.

― aldo, Friday, 2 December 2011 13:45 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

Thanks aldo! I'll take your word on Titans - I dislike the characters and the art so can't even try it.

Flash is so good it overcomes my natural anti-Flash bias (I've never liked the character (or the derivatives) except in his Golden Age incarnation).

― EZ Snappin, Friday, 2 December 2011 14:45 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

So, we reach the end of 3 months and I start cutting books. I'm down to just under half, from memory, but my observations on the experiment thus far:

I had really fallen out of the habit of reading comics. I know we'd discussed it before in ILC, about how we'd cut down to 4 or 5 floppies a week, but the sheer volume overwhelmed me to start with. I ended up having to read them alphabetically because any other way would have been detrimental to the books I was enjoying less - otherwise I would have read the ones I liked and then just left with a pile of dross to plod through (which, truth to tell, was the case some weeks anyway). But then in order to get these reviews out, I was having to read them straight away so I could find the time to do this at the weekend. Discipline was very much the order of the day, and this may have made me less tolerant of the lesser quality books to be honest.

It's important to pick up comics every week. The week of the Diamond fuck-up with my LCS caused me great pain. I was finding one week hard going, now I had to do two in the same timeframe. That almost killed me. I have no idea now how I would have done this on the month I'm on holiday next year.

This process has made me far more judgemental. I had written off Red Hood after the first issue, yet it turns out I actually really quite like it. I proclaimed the first issue of Aquaman to be brilliant, but it fell off a massive cliff edge. And I ended up comparing books to the other ones out that week, probably unfairly.

Three months isn't long enough to judge comics on. See the above. But also see complaints through the process about pacing. They've been uneven but that's only through comparison to each other - since they all started at the same time you'd expect them to be consistent, however, some have raced forward with plot with no hints of backstory, some have concentrated in minutae over things past which may or may not have happened and some are just glacial. It's the change that's jarring though, as some of these books were at #2-300 when this started and the pacing would have been fine on them. So I would have welcomed the opportunity to do this for longer but Diamond set their sale or return at that level. Was this within DC's influence? Probably.

This hasn't really been a success for existing customers. Looking round the internet, it seems people have generally reverted to type. People who were buying Batbooks are still buying Batbooks (irrespective of quality). People who were buying Superfamily books are still buying Superfamily books (irrespective of quality). People who were buying Geoff Johns books are still mad. Nobody is more inclined to pick up Jonah Hex than they were. I'm even aware of one online trend to deliberately cut to only 8 books by month 4. A failure then.

This hasn't exactly been a success for new customers either. OK, so Justice League #1 is on the 5th printing. You don't get sales across the line, you haven't brought in new readers. And in the week James Robinson notes that his Shade mini-series will probably be cancelled before #12 because of sales* it seems like general interest in the new line hasn't transferred into curiosity about things they don't already know about.

Comics professionals aren't what they used to be. I know it looks like I'm being picky, but some of the artwork in the reboot has been exceptionally shoddy. I'm currently reading Prince Valiant Vol 4 and the gulf in quality is amazing, but even in comparison to some of the dailies (Dick Tracy for example) the gulf in quality is astonishing. And what is it with the staying power of these people? The sheer volume of creative changes is overwhelming, and then you remember this was PLANNED. And then you remember David Finch and what's happened with David Finch's Batman The Dark Knight. That's sitcom territory.

Rob Liefeld is exactly what he used to be. Seriously, how is he still employed?

The Johnsiverse is all about the sex. I mean we all know the controversy about Catwoman and the first Red Hood, but really, they've been like rabbits across the line. Is this what it's come to?

I'll keep going with this via t0rr3nt for the titles I'm not sticking with, but it may well be more sporadic (and some may just say "still shit").

* I mean OK, a Golden Age Flash villain might not be the best of choices but it sort of spins off out of Robinson's Starman series and is probably better than 80-90% of the Johnsiverse. You're in the shop already, why not buy something good when you're in there?

― aldo, Friday, 2 December 2011 15:52 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

I don't know why Grifter and Voodoo are resonating so hard with me, esp. considering I never was a WildC.A.T.S. fan, but the direction they're talking the whole Kherubim/Daemonite conflict and how it seems both sides are now leaning anti-human is very interesting to me. Also, I can't believe how much I disliked that first issue of Stormwatch (possibly because it was The Authority with all of the minorities associated with Stormwatch/The Authority removed)

― OH NOES, Friday, 2 December 2011 16:07 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

I mean, I'm not screaming for token representation; Battalion and Fuji have been associated with the team since its inception and Flint and Swift have been mainstays since '96.

― OH NOES, Friday, 2 December 2011 16:13 (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Permalink

And after DC inexplicably take a week off...

Action #4: The premise of this is great - Earth is being harvested by the same guy who put Kandor in a bottle last month - but the execution not so much. The main part of the comic is a fun read (although it does smack slightly of Disco Dad at times; "your favourite band is the Red Hot Chili Peppers"? Really?) but the worst part is undoubtedly that GMoz can't even be arsed writing it all himself.

"So, Steel's turned up to fight the Terminaut. At the end I want Steel there, but I don't care about any of the rest of it. I'm not bothered who writes it either. Sholly Fisch? Who he? He writes DC kids' books, huh?"

Is it just me who finds that lazy and slack? Oh and the next two issues are a different story before we come back to this one. Except that takes us to #7, where DC have already said Action and Superman are in the same time. So 6 years elapse between this issue and the next part. Hmm.

Animal Man #4: This continues to be a confounding read. The art is still sketchy - I love it when it's doing wilding impressionistic swathes of... weird... but don't get on with it when it's supposed to be real. In terms of plot, basically Maxine could have meant the last issue didn't need to exist, there's a sentient cat from The Red living with the Bakers now and Cliff might be dead having been eaten by Mr Potato Head. I already feel the groan for next month when Maxine makes it so it didn't happen. Poor Cliff. I hope he becomes the Kenny McCormack or Rory Williams of the Johnsiverse.

Batwing #4: I thought I had cut this but it appears the LCS still want me to take it, which isn't really a problem since the story has got better now the art has got worse. That said, you or I could write a SEKRIT ORIGIN OF AN ARFRICAN BOY GROWING UP WITH GUNS AND STUFF and it would look pretty much like this, except we wouldn't be getting paid thousands of bucks to do it. This is now not doing anything the recent run of Unknown Soldier by Josh Dysart wasn't, which was cancelled through lack of readers. HOLY BAT-FRANCHISE! It's the only explanation.

Detective Comics #4: The previous issues of this have been great, but this is a mess of ACTION shots and JUMPING and GRIMACING. Jim Gordon looks and acts like a stoner. The issue ends pretty much exactly where we were at the end of #1, which makes it feel like it's been kind of a waste of time. Looks like the Penguin next. My curiosity will keep me reading but this is a book on the brink of being dropped after this issue. Oh fickle me.

OMAC #4: In which Didio and Giffen embrace the fact they're doing nothing clever here and go all out for the Kirby. GIANT ALLIGATORS WITH ROBOT NUCLEAR HEADS! It looks like Frankenstein shows up next month and the books cross over. This seems to be a trend in the first of the #4s, setting up crossover events early. I suspect this is all pointing to a giant X-Over event next summer (the traditional point for EVENTs) during which the Johnsiverse will be re-integrated back into the 52niverse. Maybe. This is a blast in the meantime, as usual.

Red Lanterns #4: Atrocitus finds out about Bleez' possible deception that's been apparent from the start, given she's been in other books and it's been mentioned in the editorial, but being a creature of RAGE GRRRR reacts by throwing three other Red Lanterns in the sea like he did with Bleez to have more smarter ones. No, I don't understand how having more smart ones will help him if they were plotting against him even when they were stupid either. (He finds this out, by the way, in the time-honoured telepathic manner of biting their necks. Anyway, since the three he chooses aren't SEXEY RED ALIUMS (they are, in fact, a goat, a floating brane and MODOK the rubber ball aliums) they don't get nearly as much character development as Bleez does. In the end Atrocitus' nemesis and confidant Krona appears to have risen from the dead in a stunning cliffhanger. Or at least it would have been if Pete Milligan hadn't said it in the interview in the back of every book this month. You'd think they'd learn by now.

Stormwatch #4: Blah blah blah blah blah. The villain turns out not to be "The Dark Side" after all, but a city swallowed by an alien force which means Jack Hawksmoor can solve it in a page. Then Apollo gets blasted by the power of the sun and frees everyone by punching a hole in its stomach. All that plot takes about 2 pages, so G_d knows what fills the rest. Ho hum.

Swamp Thing #4: This trundles along being entertaining and pulling all the strands together, neatly tying up pretty much all Rick Veitch's writing on the book in a page. It's going somewhere, definitely, but the fact this issue has THREE different inkers can make you wonder whether you want to go there with it. There's a big Animal Man crossover soon, you know. That might be where it gets into fanboy only territory.

― aldo, Sunday, 11 December 2011 14:02 (1 week ago) Bookmark Permalink

And the books I am only reading on CBR...

Green Arrow #4: Giffen and Jurgens don't make this much better. There's a character called Blood Rose, who seems to have become Asian since her cameo at the end of last month and her boss (who in one panel seems to have had the lower half od his body replaced by a chair) who tells her he is ABSOLUTELY 100% CERTAIN there is no link between Green Arrow and Ollie. She appears not to think so either, even after virtually watching him change into his costume in front of her. She also has super-strength, which she doesn't use until after GA's escape - which confuses him as much as it confuses us. In other news, Steve Jobs Ollie is setting up a games company. It's all go round these parts.

Hawk & Dove #4: This just doesn't get any better. Liefeld arguably gets worse. There's now something called the War Circle which may have something to do with all the avatars' owners ganging up on each other. Dawn might have eaten Swan off-page in the last issue. Swan returns the favour in this issue by pulling Deadman's face back like in gonzo pr0n, or on the cover of Gnaw Their Tongues' "All the dread magnificence of perversity". Then a helicopter turns up and they all go home, apart from Dawn who starts acting like Jackie Chan. Oh dear.

JLI #4: A couple of notable things happen in this issue. First, Godiva wanks off Batman with her hair. Second, they are all trapped in mud which absorbs their powers, however, not when it's cold so Ice freezes it and they escape. So why didn't she do that to start with? They then get beaten again and the robots from the previous issues start to work while our heroes are attacked by mud and midgets - in other words back where we were at the start of #3. So the only different thing that happened this month was Godiva wanking off Batman with her hair. I'll leave you with that thought of how far the Johnsiverse has taken us.

Men of War #4: "Next issue: Who is the enemy?" Aldo sez: who gives a fuck? This is dreadful hackneyed war writing, full of cliche tech speak and two separate strands just so we can see Rock dressed up in two different outfits, like some kind of 2D Action Man. Oh and what a surprise, there's magic/superpowers involved animating the dead, maybe. The backups this month is Skull Bots which would be less mature if written by the kid from Axe Cop. Ridiculous stuff.

Static Shock #4: Not even worth writing about. The mid-80s have so much to answer for, and this looks pedestrian compared to the worst excesses of that era. Flabby villain of the week nonsense.

― aldo, Sunday, 11 December 2011 14:57 (1 week ago) Bookmark Permalink

Is the mysterious hooded woman still showing up in every book?

― William (C), Sunday, 11 December 2011 15:02 (1 week ago) Bookmark Permalink

Haven't seen her, but then I missed her in most of the #1s. I think Geoff Johns has said she's only going to show up in Justice League (possibly because she may be a Jim Lee character from the Wildstorm universe, apparently).

― aldo, Sunday, 11 December 2011 15:08 (1 week ago) Bookmark Permalink

aw man I missed that this fill-in thread existed! there has been SO MUCH amazing creator turnover in the last week that has made me twitchy to not be able to post about ;_;

how we'd cut down to 4 or 5 floppies a week

4 or 5 a week* has always seemed a monumental intake to me!

*every week, that is. leaving the shop with five comics I like is obviously great and desirable, but I usually go once a month

― The Larry Sandbox Show (sic), Monday, 12 December 2011 04:35 (1 week ago) Bookmark Permalink

Batgirl #4: This is a solid enough close out to the Mirror storyline. Babs works out the motivation and plot at about the same time as the reader, despite having much more information than we do, and we also get a whole pile of Babs Backstory including finding out she got out of the chair because of "a clinic in South Africa". Hmm. Babs' mum turning up at the end is a bit of a shocker though. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a bit of Dad Dancing from Gail Simone, and this month's is that bad guys have an app for their iPhones that lets them know where Batman is. I know, right? This story arc was good enough to keep me on board for the next one, I guess.

Batman & Robin #4: To be honest, I think most people had been sleeping on this Batbook and a lot might have cut it. This issue, particularly the final pages, shows they were wrong. Yes, it's a bit wordy but Nobody has turned by stealth into a great character. The next few issues are going to be the making of Damian, it looks like.

Batwoman #4: In contrast, this has got an easy ride because of how good it was. And it spectacularly fails to drop the ball here, with the strongest issue yet. Kate Kane's world teeters on the brink of complete collapse and I have no idea how it's going to pan out. And just to show all the SEXEY TIMES FUN doesn't just happen in other books, this has probably the most graphic and explicit sex of the Johnsiverse to date but will pass without comment because it's sapphic shenanigans. Oh, and it's intercut with a graphic fight, torture and bloody slashing. Still immune from comment? It seems so. If this was Catwoman the blogverse would be calling for everyone involved to be sacked.

Demon Knights #4: You know what the most under-rated book of the Johnsiverse is? It's this one. An absolute pleasure from start to finish as ever, and as usual Vandal Savage is the best thing about it. "Wake up!It is your comrades! Vandal Savage! Jason Blood! That tall woman!" This is the origin story of this version of the Shining Knight and comes close to out GMoz-ing Gmoz' take on it. Can we have more books like this please?

Frankenstein #4: The other Seven Soldiers character pulled through into the Johnsiverse still feels like an inferior BPRD but this is most accomplished issue so far, and makes me glad I hadn't cut it. Aquaman gets slagged off and giant monsters get killed. What's not to like? I'm hoping Ray Palmer is going to start playing a bigger part in this because he's the part which makes it work the best.

Legion Lost #4: You know what? Even I'm coming round to the idea that this book isn't really that great. We push the idea that the alien is partly Chameleon Girl and the main baddie becomes massively powerful at the end. But not much else happens really. Even this summary is boring.

Suicide Squad #4: Here's the thing. Without going into specifics, the Squad core team regularises and not in the way you'd expect. Also, King Shark actually gets clear-headed at one point. You really should still all be reading this book.

― aldo, Sunday, 18 December 2011 13:01 (6 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

CBR-only books:

Deathstroke #4: Deathstroke gets out of prison. Deathstroke kills some people. Deathstroke's mate gets offed. Reading this text is marginally less boring than reading the comic.

Green Lantern #4: Hal didn't die and is still in WUB with Carol. Sinestro gets tortured for a bit. The rest of the issue is clearly about some OBVIOUSLY HISTORIC Geoff Johns GL thing I never read about which gives us a pile of Sinestro backstory. Then Hal manages to fuck it up for him (by accident, OBVIOUSLY). BLAH BLAH WHO CARES.

Grifter #4: What the fuck has this got to do with the previous issues? They were all about the mystery of who Cole was. Now it's a gun-for-hire book that almost succeeds to be the worst Johnsiverse book that's had Green Arrow in it, and that's some claim. It looks like the daemonites are behind it all, probably. Woohoo, we're off into the Wildstorm universe again. Who cares.

Mister Terrific #4: Big brains are really useful in space. Still, the artist got to draw some cool aliens. Well not really because they don't actually look that cool. Michael uses his intellect once and mostly the aliens do things with each other that he's not that involved with. Dreadful stuff that goes nowhere and, again, seems unlinked to the previous issues.

Resurrection Man #4: Huh? OH LOOK BEWBS! The plot actually moves slightly forward in this, but only by essentially writing the previous two issues out (or at least making their content irrelevant). Thumb-woman from #1 turns out to be an angel, who (it appears) permanently kills our titular hero. Might be for the best.

Superboy #4: Superboy burns a Christmas tree with his heat vision and scares some carollers. Makes a change from punching the universe, I suppose. Anyway, the previous 3 issues may just have been a ruse to capture Fairchild. Superboy seems resigned to his lot and decides to work for the people who are the bad guysin Teen Titans. CROSSOVER ALERT. Again.

― aldo, Wednesday, 21 December 2011 19:57 (3 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

I can definitely believe there's a "where is Batman?" app - written by Waynetech, with Alfred putting plausible sightings in when he's not ironing the Batsuits.

― Andrew Farrell, Wednesday, 21 December 2011 22:42 (3 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

No, it's being done by villains - and low rent ones at that as 5 of them are shaking down a couple for a fake fur.

― aldo, Wednesday, 21 December 2011 23:02 (3 days ago) Bookmark Permalink

I missed all of these in the crash/sandbox stuff. Wonderful read, as usual, and unlike the most of the comics described

Aldo, do you write about comics (or anything else) somewhere online? Because I would read the hell out of it.

UPDATE!
Action Comics finally decides to stop being 20pp for $4 by adding an eight-page back-up story by Joshua Hale Fialkov, not Grant Morrison!
Joshua Hale Fialkov replaced by Sholly Fisch, not Grant Morrison, before anything sees print.
#4 ships, and the 8-page story turns out to not only not be by Grant Morrison, but actually be an eight-page fight scene that Morrison specifically left out of his pages because it would have been tedious, pointless, redundant and a waste of pages. And money, I guess, if anyone had ever told him that this was a 30 page book, not a 20pp one, at any point in the process of creating any of these issues.

UPDATE!
Early-90s (Jamie Delano era) Animal Man artist Steve Pugh added to Travel Foreman as Animal Man artist from #7.

UPDATE!
Fernando Pasarin replaced as Green Lantern Corps artist by Acclaim-era Giffen inker Claude St. Aubin from #7

UPDATE!
Jesus Saiz replaced as Birds Of Prey artist by Javier Pina halfway through #5
Javier Pina replaced as Birds Of Prey artist by Jesus Saiz halfway through #7

UPDATE!
Yanick Paquette, having managed a gruelling two issues of Swamp Thing in a row, is partially filled-in-for by Victor Ibanez on #3.
With the breather allowed by not having to do a full issue, Paquette fails to catch up, and is completely replaced by Ibanez for #4.
Before publication, but after solicitation, writer Scott Snyder says that Ibanez has been replaced by Marco Rudy as fill-in artist on #4.
Back with a vengeance, Paquette storms back to draw all of #5 by himself! Nothing can stop him now!
Marco Rudy is filling in for Paquette on #6. Unless he gets replaced by Victor Ibanez.
Pow! Fully refreshed and ready to roll, Yanick Paquette is drawing the living fuck out of Swamp Thing #7 and #8! There’s really no stopping him now!
An unannounced fill-in artist will draw the second half of Swamp Thing #9. Hopefully Marco Rudy. Does anyone have Victor Ibanez’ phone number?

UPDATE!
The artist on Mr Terrific #1-2 is Gianluca Gugliotta.
#3 has a fill-in by Jim Lee inker Scott Clark, being inked by Dave Beaty.
Gugliotta returns for #4-5, but now inked by Wayne Faucher.
#6 has a fill-in by Oliver Nome.
The team of Gugliotta and Faucher returns for #7.

UPDATE!
The classic beloved super-villain team-up property SUICIDE SQUAD returns to stands as part of THE NEW 52 in a series written by Adam Glass and drawn by Marco Rudy! Get in on the ground floor!
Exciting news kids! Marco Rudy couldn’t handle the heavy-handed editorial fiddling, from #2 Suicide Squad will be drawn by Federico Dellocchio, with a helping hand on his first issue by Ransom Getty!
Wow kids, great news! Federicho Dellocchio will be replaced by Wildstorm superstar Tom Raney for issues 6 and 7 – make sure you pick up Stormwatch #6 for the crossover with that issue’s explosive events!
Hey kids, we can barely contain our excitement to tell you that Tom Raney got jack of the heavy-handed editorial fiddling, or couldn’t keep pace with it, or something, so has been replaced on ishes 6 and 7, without drawing anything, by Clayton Henry! #6 is now thrillingly returnable, retail minutia fans!

UPDATE!
SEPTEMBER 28th: Hotheaded hero FIRESTORM returns to stands as part of THE NEW 52 in a series written by right-wing X-Men penciller Ethan Van Sciver and the only female creator on any New 52 comic, Gail Simone!
OCTOBER 12th: The only female creator on any New 52 comic, Gail Simone, is reported to have walked off Firestorm due to frustration with the heavy-handed editorial meddling and micro-management. DC is reported to be all, like, “psssch, what? That’s crazy, you’re crazy. Everything’s chill.”
OCTOBER 17th: Yildiray Cinar, artist on Firestorm, is to be assisted by an inker from issue #5, quite possibly unable to keep up with repeated changes demanded by editorial.
DECEMBER 6th: Now one of a vast two female creators on The New 52, Gail Simone is confirmed to have walked off Firestorm.
From issue #7, Van Sciver will be joined by co-plotter and scripter Joe Harris, writer of a film about the Tooth Fairy being evil. The team of Yilidray Cinar and Norm Rapmund will also be filled in for on issues 7 & 8 by Sciver.

UPDATE!
Writer Sterling Gates is OFF Hawk And Dove with issue #6, replaced by the continuing artist on the book. That’s right, it’s 2011 and the single most consistent and reliable creator on DC’s The NEW 52 is Rob Liefeld.
Rob.
Liefeld.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Gates was actually sacked mid-story, with his completed script for #6 being spiked, and Liefeld co-re-writing #5 with Gates post-sacking.

UPDATE!
Writer JT Krul replaced on Green Arrow from #4 with penciller Dan Jurgens and Keith Giffen.
Finisher George Perez replaced from #5 with inker Ray McCarthy.
Writer/penciller Dan Jurgens replaced as penciller on #6 with Ignacio Calero.
Co-writers Keith Giffen and Dan Jurgens replaced from #7 with Ann Nocenti.
Artists Dan Jurgens, George Perez, Ray McCarthy and Ignacio Calero replaced from #7 with Harvey Tolibao.
- That’s right, in just seven months this series has turned over FIVE separate creative teams.

UPDATE!
Ivan Brandon is reported to have walked off Men Of War after #6 due to due to frustration with the heavy-handed editorial meddling and micro-management. DC is like “pfft what? That’s silly, everything’s totes chill over here, everything’s under control".
FURTHER UPDATE!
Men Of War #7 will contain not one but TWO separate fill-in stories, by James Robinson and HEROIC MAN OF THE HOUR J.T. Krul!

UPDATE!
Ron Marz’ script for Voodoo #5, as accepted, paid for, and solicited, will now not be used; Marz has been replaced on the series by some dude who writes a video-game adaptation comic.
Marz has no idea what DC wanted differently, having only a 10-minute conversation with the editor about his boning, but the editor had also quit and was leaving the next day, so probably didn’t a) know or b) give a shit.

UPDATE!
DC announce Paul Jenkins as fill-in-writer on Stormwatch #7 and #8.
FURTHER UPDATE!
Regular Paul Cornell allows that, actually, he’s walked off the book altogether.
HEY KIDS! Follow the ending of Stormwatch #6 in upcoming issues of Grifter and Voodoo! And don’t forget that Cornell’s Demon Knights is actually Ancient Stormwatch – you can’t afford to miss an issue!

There was way more of this by the way, but somewhere along the way, the will to track it seeped completely out of my fingertips.

way

Bridwell would be proud.

holy waht

that is an implosion of epic proportions

also stop making me want to buy Hawk and Dove

There was a piece about it on CBR the other day. 21% of art teams and 17% of creative teams as a whole have changed by the end of month 4.

Mystery Hooded Woman has been revealed to be called Pandora. I'm hoping beyond hope she turns out to be the unused Len Wein/Ross Andru 1981 creation Pandora Parr. I'm not holding my breath.

I kind of hope she's a mysterious link to the old universe and they will magically revert all the series that aren't selling well or have shitty creative teams

Batman #4: This is maybe the most prosaic issue of this book to date, but that's OK because it's quite nice not to be so thrill-powered for a change. We get a lot of dialogue about Young Bruce and some family history leading to BIFF! BANG! POW! Another great cliffhanger! Best BatBook of the bunch.

Birds of Prey #4: Eh? So knocking people out solves the walking bomb problems and handily resolves the DINAH MUST DIE! cliffhanger from the last issue. But it also makes her entirely redundant as a character as the plot is resolved without her and told to her in flashback. Anyway, the people blowing up thing is supposedly because of a new experimental anti-stroke drug (here's a hint, I suspect most stroke victims would rather have had the stroke than ended up spread across the tarmac and taken to the morgue in a couple of carrier bags) which is cured by new Doctor McHandsome. We end back up in the lair of the invisible robots (and Doctor McHandsome's handy new Invisible Robot Uninvisibling Machine) where they show off their new power of teleporting people (although they're not that good at it because Batgirl goes missing - someone more cynical might suggest this is just a normal DC art error though). Maybe somebody new will join next month? Maybe somebody else will read it next month?

Blue Beetle #4: Hooray! The crap villain from last month's reveal is just as crap as I thought he'd be! More sterotypical hispanic nonsense with marginal plot advancement (but maybe that's fine after last month's revelations about the baddie), although Jaime is more in control of the suit... until it skewers his best mate at the very end. Oops. Maybe it's got some magic make-better rays that haven't been shown yet.

Captain Atom #4: Find a copy of Watchmen. Read the Doctor Manhattan sections. It obviously must have been massively influenced by this issue then taken back in time by Rip Hunter or Booster Gold or somebody. I mean, what are the chances that two people could write something so similar? Even bits of the art are the same. I don't know who this Moore fellow is, but he's clearly a nobody compared to the giant of comics that is JT Krul. The villain for the next issue appears to have been a huge influence on Krang from the TMNT animated show (and taken back in time by Rip Hunter/Booster Gold etc). Hoo boy.

Catwoman #4: Mmm. Winicky. Selina meets an old friend, lots of people talk to each other, I still hate the art. This looks like the most unsurvivable cliffhanger in the who Johnsiverse thus far, and it's got some competition (Static Shock having his arm cut off, for one). This could be a really good book, but it just... isn't. Maybe it can pick it up, I don't know.

DC Presents #4: The 90s are back! Back! Back! This is like a third or fourth tier Vertigo book from the very early days (like Vamps or something like that) in an OOOOOOOOOH MYSTICAL SPOOKINESS LOOK THE PICTURE IS STRETCHED way. I just wish this Deadman story would be over, because it's not nearly as clever as it thinks it is. Actually, I did think it was over last month. Apparently not, and there is at least one to go. Wonderful.

Green Lantern Corps #4: OK, this is just stupid. We start off with a Lantern getting a mind-sword through the head JUST BECAUSE. It turns out the swords are a green, glowing, transparent sort of a thing keyed to individual people "just like your rings". ENOUGH HINTS YET? The captive Lanterns are walked across the Emerald Plains where there are hundreds of Lantern shaped indents. GOT IT FINALLY? Jonn Jonn'z turns up eventually and after slagging Guy Gardner off for not saving Mars interrogates the captive bad guy from the last issue. It turns out (DUH!) that they were the people who used to look after the power batteries before the Guardians were dicks about it, and are now just annoyed enough about it to commit genocide on random planets. Or something. They also patently did it on a planet that has the same atmosphere as every other planet in the universe simultaneously, as a pile of Lanterns manage to survive on it with completely exhausted rings (and therefore no life support system). Lantern Tongue has become Lantern Tail in the course of an issue. I just don't know what to think any more, it's like my whole life's fallen apart.

Justice League #4: CHOOOOOOOMM One of the worst kept secrets in the Johnsiverse comes to pass as Darkseid turns up. And this is a pretty good book outside of this, even if the majority of the fun elsewhere is laughing at Hal Jordan. Even Aquaman gets in on the act, and you've got to be pretty shit for him to take the piss out of you. I could almost get to like Cyborg out of this. There, I said it. I'll leave the last word to Aquaman's Amazing Parademon-Eathing Non-pathetic Sharks - OM NOM NOM.

Legion of Super Heroes #4: A thrilling end to the Dominators storyline, though it does sort of come out of nowhere. One minute Cham is wondering how to signal the Legion, a couple of pages later they just turn up. As a special Brucie Bonus, Braniac works out how Glorith's powers work. What's not to like?

Nightwing #4: Dick's conquest from last month gets all huffy when Babs Gordon turns up, with her big city hair and her big city clothes and her big city acrobatic abilities. They defeat Spinebender by electrifying him until he turns into glass (give me a break, I didn't write it). There's lots of rooftops and ropes and everything else that makes Batbooks good and this is definitely a solid enough title - just not a very popular one and might not be unique enough to survive future line-slashing by DiDio. A mysterious book turns up in the end, bringing the total for the Johnsiverse to about 6. This might be becoming A Thing.

Red Hood #4: This genuinely is just getting better and better. Starfire gets some character development and then mistakenly flies into the giant green glowing ring that couldn't be more obvious not to fly through if it had a giant sign marked DO NOT FLY INTO THIS GIANT GREEN GLOWING RING on it. Jason and Roy try to put the moves on girls in a bar and end up fighting a Bewbs Cop Alium with half a head (after Roy shot arrows through it). In his defence, I don't think he knew she was a alium before he shot her. I can't explain how I got to like this as much as I do. It's just FUN. Remember that, kids?

Supergirl #4: In contrast, Supergirl gets objectively worse. It's not awful, but it just doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Supergirl escapes and the bad guy is almost killed but gets saved with the technology of the bad guy from a couple of issues ago and not like Cyborg or somebody like that, honest. This needs to start improving.

Wonder Woman #4: This is more like it. Diana, Hermes and Zola go to an awesome metal show in London. Fortunately they do not pass go and go directly to Chaki's bed to wait for him, but have a squabble instead. Apollo and Ares plot something very carefully - so carefully that Ares is accused of being Greek's Obtusest God. Hera visits Hippolyta to have it out with her over Zeus shagging her (although why she isn't having the conversation with him or, say, Leda isn't mentioned) and ends up forgiving her by turning her into a statue and all her friends into snakes. Given that it looked like they were going to lez up at one point, it's a disappointing ending for all parties to be honest - but at least Azzarello is taking us back in the horror direction he promised.

All-Star Western #4: Just when you thought he was leaving, Amadeus Arkham is back after all and pair go off looking for a missing kid (although Jonah almost certainly hasn't told him about the money) but how can this be bad? It's a detective comic set in Gotham City. It ends with Jonah taunted for not being Superman by a guy possibly uglier than him. The new backup is a brand new character, The Barbary Ghost, and is about as good as the EL Diablo one was previously i.e. not that hot. I hate how few people buy this, but hats off to DC for sticking with it.

Aquaman #4: This just in: Aquaman is still a dick. He kills an entire species (the one that all 4 issues of the Johnsiverse series have been about) because he can't speak to them with his mind control powers thing - although to be fair they are trying to eat him at the time. He then gets a dog. That can't swim. Jeez, I would have felt irresponsible if I got a dog and had to leave it in the house while I went to work. Still, Geoff Johns is going to tell us who sank Atlantis soon. That'll bring in the readers, huh?

Batman The Dark Knight #4: In which Batman explains to Wonder Woman that Flash is outrunning some poison, then has a nice ice cream. Alfred has a crying wank about the woman in the rabbit suit from the last issue, Bruce stands up the pretty girl from previous months and Deathstroke chops the batplane in half before the Scarecrow shows up (and is possibly revealed as the guy who's been making violent people violent) and quotes Neil Gaiman. Yes, I'm aware of how stupid that all looks but it's a really good read. Honest. You can trust this face.

Blackhawks #4: Is this sort of going anywhere? The past issues have made so little impression the plot read as follows: somebody I don't recognise has stolen something I don't recognise and fights him after being given a knife by somebody I don't recognise. She then hits him with a plane and is congratulated by somebody I don't recognise. In the mean time two people I don't recognise hit someone I don't recognise with a toolbox and steal a different plane which flies off into space. I'm sure they'll all be back next month and I won't know who they are then either.

Flash #4: This is still as gorgeous to look at as ever, and the plot seems to be racing towards a conclusion. We even have enough time for a flashback (no pun intended) to Barry's mum, reminding us that BARRY ALLEN IS TO BLAME FOR THE WHOLE DAMN JOHNSIVERSE IN THE FIRST PLACE. It turns out Barry is not faster than a speeding bullet, but his brain is. We find out why there seemed to be so many Manuels in previous issues. Iris smashes some ice. Are all my favourite comics secretly retarded when you actually explain them?

Green Lantern New Guardians #4: Speaking of which (and I don't mean favourite comics)... it turns out Larfleeze is so obviously confident because he has a pet Guardian, who may turn out to be female based on the descriptions. And a bit pervy, as she tries to fight all the other Guardians by attacking them with anal love beads while saying she's going to spit roast them. Kyle decides Ganthet, who he only met the other day but is "like a father" to him, isn't for him and decides to betray him and hang out with the cool kids like Bleez (who obviously doesn't share the sentiment as she buggers off as soon as she can), Arkillo and Munk. He's so clever.

I, Vampire #4: Absolutely beautiful, as ever. This is a really nice, almost self-contained story although Constantine's presence in it is utterly redundant. It does raise the question though of how all this vampiring has been going on in the mainstream Johnsiverse without the Justice League or, at a pinch, Static Shock getting involved and killing them. Still, this and Batwoman might be worth springing for oversized collections of in the future just to revel in them.

Justice League Dark #4: Is this Watchmen month? Dawn comes into her apartment and meets a sinister man in a trenchcoat eating cold baked beans directly from the tin. Anyway, all the sub-threads of this seems to be coming together and the team should actually form next issue, but I think we might also see another lover's tiff as Deadman's still trying to get into June Moon's pants and maybe Shade will have a crack at Zatanna while he's at it. I do like this, but I'm not sure why.

Superman #4: The villain is revealed; IT WAS SUPERMAN ALL ALONG! Presumably it was the other Superman that we see briefly while Clark is on the phone to Lois. Anyway, aside from the cop-out ending this is still far too wordy - although it's been cut back so at least you can see some of the art this time round. Really, this is just boring nonsense.

Teen Titans #4: The two halves of the team finally get together, although quite how the random street in the snow from last month gets you into a penthouse flat I have no idea (and to his credit, Scott Lobdell says he has no idea how it happened either). Wonder Girl and Superboy have a slugfest in Times Square (meaning we now have Gotham, Metropolis and New York in the Johnsiverse) and then everybody else turns up to join in. Kid Flash is still the best thing in it.

Firestorm #4: Wait, what? Qurac is back! It is the 80s after all! And now they have nuculer weapons! And now Russia has a Firestorm as well we can have a Cold War! Can we please get back to normal?

Hawkman #4: On page three of this there is a green woman who flies with blobs on her feet and talks through her arse. Is it just bad art? Probably, but nothing would surprise me any more. A complete mess, again.

Voodoo #4: Inconsequential stuff, as Voodoo breaks into a top secret faciltity (possibly to find out about Superman) then breaks back out again. She changes shape an awful lot of times including at the last into a dog. That's about as much as you need to know, frankly. Glad I'm not paying for it.

I don't know, the idea of the Daemonite/Kherubim war co-opting some of the mainstream DC heroes is kind of enthralling to me

I was never a Wildstorm kid, I guess.

I never cared about the Daemonites/Kherubim until now, lol!

I was always about Stormwatch/The Authority but the relaunch has been actively repellent to me.

...what exactly is the Johnsiverse for the purpose of this discussion?

the DC Universe

Wait, does the Johnsiverse extend to say...DARKEST NIGHT as well? This is an important hair to split.

dym Blackest Night? if so I would split the hair into proto-Johnsiverse, as Aldo is using it (since all his GL stuff is apparently still in continuity).

although I think Johnsiverse is unfair - I find his entire ouevre repellent, but get the impression that he genuinely does have a good grasp on broad-range plotting and making bits of continuity fit together in a coherent enough manner, if you like his style. if he and Morrison had been able to draw up a forward plan for the reboot, it could well have made sense; instead, the Didioverse/Leeiverse/Nelsoniverse plainly would have struggled to be fucked up any worse if they'd aimed to do so from the start.

That Batman bit with the owls is going pretty well, imo

I feel like a dork for saying so, even in this context, but Superman's new costume is still creeping me out.

All the titles I'm reading out of the reboot now feel like they're moving too slowly, but maybe for ACTION and HEX. I suspect I'm not cut out to read serials anymore.

NEW YEAR! SAME SHIT!

(btw I use Johnsiverse because it's post-Flashpoint universe, which implies the concepts and what's in/what's out is his doing - or else we have to assume somebody else came up with the resolution for Flashpoint and he was just writing to order, which you would have thought might have been credited somewhere.)

Action Comics #5: GMoz fails to disappoint once more, but you know what? This all feels a bit unnecessary. Nothing is substantially different in the origin to John Byrne's established continuity (apart from the Kents being younger, I guess) and the BRAND NEW GMOZ BAD GUYS are kind of GMoz by numbers. I would reckon we will continue to get a couple of pages of this plot every issue until a 6 part CONCLUDING EPIC YOU SHOULD NOT MISS. After the unrestrained 60s joy of ASS this seems to be treading water, but since it's better written than 90% of the other books out there I can put up with it. Scholly Fisch's bank balance says thanks for another utterly redundant backup script though.

Animal Man #5: Boo Hiss Cliff is not dead. I was really hoping he was going to be. Ellen gets her nose cleaned by a tentacle, the talking cat turns out to be a complete twat and Maxine fucks up SPECTACULARLY. This book is absolutely revelling in being allowed to be a horror book (pushing the envelope about as far as post-code, pre-Vertigo SoST ever went) and to be honest makes a mockery of Vertigo being considered the adult arm of DC's publishing. I'm still not in love with the art, but the more out-there the imagery gets the better it suits it which makes it a good job Jeff Lemire is taking it that way.

Detective Comics #5: Two separate but linked stories in this issue, the first of which is the one contributing to the main storyline. But as Matt identifies above, the pace of this is pretty slow appears not to be going anywhere. It clearly is - and the Penguin reveal would have been excellent had it not been spoiled on the cover - and in a way the speed of it after so many of the titles raced through trying to set up continuity it's kind of refreshing. Solid stuff.

OMAC #5: Is this just a big fight scene? Yes. It is enormous fun? Yes. It even admits as much itself, with Brother Eye teleporting OMAC out because he's getting bored. Careful with that arm, Frankenstein! The Eye/SHADE rivalry is kind of interesting, even if it does appear that the whoel thing might instead be part of (or will become) part of Darkseid's plan. You know what I took away most from this though? That if Frankenstein's own book is BPRD, when you put him in another book to punch the crap out of someone else he becomes a cut-price Hellboy instead. Now just maybe, with Hellboy dead, there's room for another one; but I'm not so sure there's a need for one.

Red Lanterns #5: Peter Milligan, you are British. There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this. Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN. As if that wasn't enough, the book itself has entirely lost its direction, and just rehashing the stuff it's done already in the run. Blah blah RRRRRAAAAARGH blah blah. The goat, the brane and the rubber ball are all now clever, as if you care. I'm not paying for this any more.

Stormwatch #5: ? There are no words. I might have paid for one too many of these. Half of this is kind of entertaining, the other half pointless except to set up the biggest continuity event yet in the Johnsiverse. And possibly finish this book off. Oh well.

Swamp Thing #5: This is the ideal companion book to Animal Man, mainly because it takes all the good bits from that and makes them better - and then has none of the bad bits either. I'm going to stick my neck out and say this might be as good as American Gothic i.e. possibly the best run of all time on Swamp Thing. There are certainly elements of it pandering to old fans, but come on - reanimated pigs being choked to death with roots?How can you not love it? "Why the peaches?" "They're your favourite Abby... I remember you told me." Book of the week.

you know the effect of this may be to make me start reading comics again, which probably is not yr aim

effect of this is that i'm torrenting comics again

yes well. 'reading'

man, peter milligan is really phoning it in these days

also, justice league dark gives you enough context to work out who constantine, zatanna are, almost does so with deadman, totally fails to explain 'enchantress' and 'madame xanadu'

also enchantress is drawn to look like a corpse except for her rack, which is miraculously preserved

time to stop reading comics again, that did not last long

But if she didn't have such a great rack then Deadman wouldn't want to fuck her then there would be no romantic tension in Rob Liefeld's Hawk & Dove!

Maybe I should stop reading comics now...

i was wondering why the dove in JLD didn't square with the one i remembered and then i realised i was actually thinking of marvel's 'cloak and dagger'

superhero duos who did not need to exist i. hawk and dove ii. cloak and dagger

I thought Abby liked limes.

Yes, I'm totally serious.

Haven't read #5, but ST is just not giving me enough each issue to really justify it any longer. I'm supposed to care that this little boy is the Avatar of All That Is Bad, but it's just not scary in the least (which at least American Gothic succeeded in).

The Abby thing is from SoST 23-24 I think?

I can see why people don't like it, maybe I'm poisoned by the last run on the book.

I actually liked Dysart's run on the book, but I'm in the vast, screaming minority on it.

Pretty sure the limes thing is from whenever Swampy and Abby consummated their relationship, which means the "Rites of Spring" storyline, whatever issues those were.

I think that's where limes come from (#29?) but I'm positive she talks about peaches while she's working in the children's home that becomes the Monkey King - "Selina has already decided she doesn't want the lawn chairs" is the standout line, obviously.

lime/consummation = #34

wow, it took a long time to work out what you were talking about there

haha, personal shorthand. I'm not even posting from a phone, which is what brief gibberish can usually be attributed to around here.

THINGS I DON'T CARE ENOUGH ABOUT TO BUY UPDATE

Batwing #5: OOOH, gender conflict. Truly, it is BECAUSE OF THE WANG. And then lol at people who have no idea about African geography, politics, geo-politics or in fact anything outside their own continent. Seriously, what does Egypt matter to any Africans who aren't from Egypt? Without these two utter wtf parts the rest of the book is actually pretty good, but indebted to GMoz' Batman Inc in more than just the origin of the hero, more in the overall faceless bad-guy-terrorist-organisation-The-Base level. I just don't get why anybody would buy this, which is probably explained by the sales levels.

Green Arrow #5: So the bad guy from a couple of issues ago has now become unbelievably stupid and wants to undo everything from those episodes (presumably because he doesn't remember it). Plus he sees Ollie walking off-page as a civvy and coming back onpage as GA and makes no connection. That was the most intelligent thing written either in this issue or in connection to it. Mid-80s fourth rate crap hero book, nothing more.

Hawk & Dove #5: ROB LIEFELD TAKES OVER! THE FUTURE STARTS HERE! But wait, Rob needs help. So who does he bring in? MARAT FUCKING MICHAELS. Sub-porno shitty Avatar standby of the first water. But seriously, page 10 is maybe the most ridiculous page in a mainstream bok maybe EVER. Dawn's "normal clothes" are a good start, and the levitating foot is a stroke of genius, but kicking down the chimney is laugh-out-loud hysterical. And that is better than the following 10 pages. Reading this shot is barely tolerable any more. Anyway, Dawn and Deadman have split up which fucks up the continuity (and a huge chunk of plot) in two other ongoing books which in <6 months is a pretty spectacular collapse. Nearly as good as changing 20% of your staff.

JLI #5: "She puts the diva in Godiva." That is genuinely the best thing about this book, and even that doesn't work in terms of pronunciation. 'dEEva' vs 'godEYEva'. Anyway, this is all about INTERNAL TENSION. Vixen vs Batman = optimist vs pessimist. Booster and Guy Gardner fighting for who's the best. Me fighting the bile rising as I read this bollocks. Booster and Godiva are fucking right now, off page. That's a comforting though, isn't it?

Men of War #5: YES, YES THAT'S TRUE. BEING FROM ONE OF THE QUARTERS OF NEW YORK MAKES YOU NATURALLY BETTER THAN A RESSURECTED HERO OF WATERLOO.Gung-ho is one thing, this is something else. The backup story is maybe even worse, a cross between a Brangelina action film and an overly romanticised pair of Cold War soldiers. In a week of shit 'shit books' this is maybe the worst.

Static Shock #5: Last issue cliffhanger dealt with in two pages. Check. Multiple references to Wildstorm property. Check. New character introduced in lieu of plot. Check. Racist NOT RACIST REALLY language. Check. Implication everybody who is not in this book is racist? Check. Dreadful comic? Check.

You know, I might be conflating the ST peach thing with the one near to the end of Moore's run (proving Alec is back after Gotham?) when a room gets filled with peach blossom.

Peter Milligan, you are British.

So I hear.

There is, therefore, no excuse for the last four pages of this.

What's on them?

Not a single one. THAT IS NOT BRITAIN.

What isn't?

As if that wasn't enough,

What wasn't?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?

So do you think the whole "new 52" exercise is already starting to lose it's momentum?

it never had any, they started out running late with no coherent creative vision of the reboot, and by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

given that and the creators hired, Didio's grand vision appears to be "be 90s Image" without the lateness

dude wonderwoman blows

OK, the Pete Milligan thing is a scene where a guy gets pulled out of an American house with an American car outside of it, by three cops in American unifroms driving an American car and then beaten to death with American clubs in the street in front of his brother (who then becomes a Red Lantern. It's set, for no apparent reason in "Little Ockdon, United Kingdom". Which doesn't exist - closest match I can find is Little Ockenden, which is in Essex. And if you want to know what that's like... start googling "The Only Way Is Essex" or TOWIE and prepare to be amazed.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw - worst case is that Milligan wrote it that way. So why the random location?

by four months in are running multi-title crossovers between Wildstorm titles

New board description.

Best case is that it's all the artist and Pete Milligan never bothered to collaborate with him at all, or didn't care to correct where he didn't understand what he was being told to draw

dude, loooooool at the idea that Milligan gets to see a copy of the art before it's printed, let alone that on the running-late-from-the-start nu52 deadlines that any editor would have time to ask for corrections. not that DC have seemed to have editors capable of seeking corrections at all, generally, in the last 15 years.

IIRC the John Smith issue of Hellblazer had American cop cars in it? And check out the Sydney Opera House in DC's Invasion! mini someday.

hawk&dove = classic when done by ditko (just the other day i saw in forbidden planet a nice new hardback collecting all the ditko H&Ds - retail price = £45!!)

btw is it just me or was Mr Bones not rhyming at all? I know Johnson and Williams hid them in Chase, but I didn't spot a sneaky rhyme scheme in this.

― robocop last year was a 'shop (sic), Sunday, 18 September 2011 21:38 (3 months ago)

now we've got an extended scene of him in Batwomang #5, and maybe I'm looking too much for a rhythm to clue off of, but I can't pick any consistent rhyming.