Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Yeah, like he'd only have one pouch.

It's a pouch in a pouch in a pouch in a pouch on a belt in a pouch in a pouch on a thigh.

With a sword.

The sword is the mysterious image at the start of it all, like that stupid hand in DC mythos.

Or maybe it should be a foot.

NO FEET ALLOWED

it is the holiest icon in the LIEFELDVERSE, never to be depicted, discussed or acknowledged.

This has the feel of a new thread.

Oh my God, it's full of pouches: What If Rob Liefeld owned and wrote all of the DC Universe?

Blackhawks #6: In which we learn that humans are like Native Americans and superheroes are like The White Man. There's far too much dialogue to go into, or to care about. In the end everything blows up, although it probably doesn't. This has no real connection to any of the issues before this, or at least not in a meaningful way, and yet that doesn't help it despite how bad the previous ones were. The end can't come soon enough for this book.

Flash #6: So, Hawkman #6 was inexplicably in and this was inexplicably out. I hate my LCS sometimes (not really, but YKWIM). Anyway, I love the splash page of this, which rams home the Spirit comparisons I've made previously. Captain Cold has become WAY good at what he does and through a series of flashbacks and flashforwards we get that Barry's dumped Iris (or was possibly never seeing her) we credibly arrive at the correct point in time with all the right things in place and this turns out to be a really tightly scripted 18 pages. I still love it, especially the art, and the addition of explaining the Speed Force, a heads-up display and WAIT, IS THAT A TREADMILL? Aces.

Green Lanterns New Guardians #6: Oh look, the Kyle Rayner one. Kyle works out they all have to team up to beat the good guy, and the pink teletubby says only Bleez can save them. GOOD JOB SHE TURNS UP ON THE LAST PAGE THEN. Kyle drops The Titanic on the good guy at one point. How's that imagination working out for you Kyle?

Teen Titans #6: New York wants to arrest the Titans for the damage following their rumble with Superboy, which probably gives away the plot of Supergirl #8, huh DiDio? Kara vs Judge Judy in small claims? Anyhoo, Kid Flash excites himself nearly to death and they visit Static from Static Shock where they find him playing with his ERECTOR. He seems very proud of it. I turns out Kid Flash is being hunted by someone who speaks Interlac. INTERLAC. This can only end well. This books keeps on stealing victory from defeat.

Firestorm #6: "WHHHYYYYY?" Well, quite. "H2O... it's like cake with these powers." Wait, WHAT? Ron Raymond thinks he's in Red Dawn and wants to teach Gorby a lesson or two. The Firestorms fight each other instead then the Army show up to arrest the black one. Really? Seriously? I wish I was making this up.

Voodoo #6: I'm going with refreshingly simple. Jaaf Smax from Top 10 turns up and busts Voodoo out of prison, helped out by the guy from the first Hellboy film (who might instead be the bad guy from the current B&R run). Kyle Rayner smells bad. This is linked to various other DC books and they are desperately trying to add Blackhawks to the mix. Way to make me hate you again guys.

Blackhawks #6: ... This has no real connection to any of the issues before this, or at least not in a meaningful way, and yet that doesn't help it despite how bad the previous ones were.

Was there a creative team change?

Not as far as I could make out. Lady Blackhawk is pictured a couple of times, and two of the characters TALK like they were in one of the previous issues, but I'm drawing a blank.

EARTH 2!

Jay Garrick "stumbling and shrieking through a sewer full of mutant rats is apparently the character's "New 52" redesign, which, in keeping with the theme of "New 52" redesigns, looks completely sarcastic, like a smart-ass artist ironically redesigning a classic comic book superhero costume into something they think an idiot might draw for other idiots to enjoy."

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TI6vZ5EFafs/T1bZepY2UtI/AAAAAAAAad8/9rQhV4l5oek/s1600/earth-2-2-cover02.jpg

UPDATE!
Amy Reeder departs Batwoman halfway through her years-in-progress first five-or-six-issue run due to untenable creative differences. I choose to believe this means "hated the shitty macho inking on #6, was told to fuck off by editor," but probably means "was told to look more like JHW3."

Kind of wish the creative team was Rucka/JHW3. The pre-Batwoman-title Batwoman stories were so much better.

More:

I'm sure there's a lot of curiosity about what exactly happened, which is understandable. But I can't get too far into it--in addition to trying to be a professional and not burn bridges, it's complicated enough that I find it difficult (and frustrating) to explain even to friends.

The jist of it, though, was that it was a bad situation, and kept getting worse and more intense until it became impossible. I am a long-term project kinda girl and I was so excited about being on Batwoman...I didn't want to let go of it and fought until it was over.

It was bad enough that now I'd rather just be happy and move forward: I'm honestly very excited by the possibilities. All this has strengthened my resolve to do my own thing again--write, draw, color, letter. My work is, by nature, better as a full experience, and the process makes me so incredibly happy that I can't stop drawing. Which also means more comics for you. Anyway, not saying it's my guaranteed next step, but if there is a way for me to do that and pay the bills, I will.

Also, DC are junking the parts of #9 she'd already drawn. Any bets on whether they'll junk her covers for a SECOND time? The New DC - There's No Gender Parity Now!

I know I have been remiss btw, I've been away a couple of weekends and not picked up and I'm about to be away again for a month. Will get up to date this weekend.

Easy big fella - don't take more than you think you can.

Guys I finally read some Animal Man and it's actually pretty darn good! How's Swamp Thing going? It looks like they're about to intersect

Voodoo #6: I'm going with refreshingly simple. Jaaf Smax from Top 10 turns up and busts Voodoo out of prison,

wow waht

I mean I knew DC bought Wildstorm but just ugh

This thread will be an invaluable document in clearly delineating how DC Comics came to its sad and undistinguished conclusion.

It is only a matter of time before DC falls at Liefeld's metaphorical feet.

I didn't realise the Jeff Smax thing was for real. Waaaaaah!

hey guys, how long do you think it'll take Liefeld to start swiping blatantly for his covers now that he's one of the star and linchpin creators of DC's entire line? oh never mind:

http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/300px-Rom17.jpg http://cdn.bleedingcool.net/wp-content/uploads//2012/03/300px-Rom17.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/kitbrash/300px-Rom17.jpg http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y115/kitbrash/300px-Liefeld.jpg

nice.

Liefeld's continued success in the comics industry is the ultimate refutation of God's existence.

Why does every Liefeld character, male or female, have a bulging package?

eh, that's not that bad

not the bulges, i mean the swiping

Dove is rather strong, holding herself up there by lightly grabbing not-Kraven by the wrist.

Right? And yes, it most certainly is that bad. It's pretty damning that Liefeld can't even swipe with any skill. I mean, he clearly doesn't understand what's happening on that ROM cover, which leads to his own cover having a tableau of figures that makes no sense. I sometimes wonder if he might be profoundly brain damaged. There's art featured in Raw Vision that would appear to be the product of clearer faculties than those Liefeld possesses.

in a weird twist, because it's not as sound as the original, i don't consider it as a bad a rip-off? like, sure, if he was a more competent artist, it would make more sense and be a better "pastiche", but i don't know how much you can criticize poses as swipes

Like, the least damning thing I can say about it is that it isn't blatantly lightboxed. But it's absolutely a swipe.

lightly grabbing not-Kraven

eyepatch makes me assume this is Deathstroke or whatever Slade Wilson might be called these days, for some reason dressed as Kraven. (where the reason is probably "Liefeld loves Marvel and is massively uncreative")

typing that first sentence just made me realise: Deadpool aka Wade Wilson is Rob's serial-numbers-filed-off version of Deathstroke aka Slade Wilson, I guess? WTF at a) ripping off a DC character to create a Marvel version, then getting to do the DC character and making him a rip-off of a different Marvel character [!!!?!], and b) one of Marvel's biggest and most profitable over-milked characters of recent years was created as a rip of their competition's IP

I sometimes wonder if he might be profoundly brain damaged.

Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Remember that Deathstroke is a rip of Marvel's Taskmaster, whom Perez had helped to create in Avengers not long before starting New Teen Titans.

That depth of Marveliana is a mystery to me. I had a vague idea that Deathstroke might have been inspired by the murder shooty deadliness of the Punisher, though obv wasn't a rip in any further sense

Taskmaster is an all-time favorite of mine; "photographic reflexes" is one of the best powers ever. Being the Super-Adaptoid of skills instead of powers is a genius concept.

http://io9.com/5893904/china-mieville-gives-us-a-sneak-peek-of-dc-comics-weirdest-new-superhero-series

uh, that is not a new superhero series. that is one from 1966, 1981, 1988, and 2003.

ok to be fair to Mieville, he tells the io9 dude that he is wrong about that, right in the interview, that they still headlined otherwise

I enjoy that they quote him as saying "ffs"

it's still "new" sic. The interviewer is clearly aware of its pedigree

Marvel has a sort-of Taskmaster who is female in Echo, now. I think they may have killed her recently? Idk.

That Taskmaster series in the past year was pretty fun.

the headline is silly, there's nothing at all either weird and new revealed about the mieville iteration of the series in the interview, and mieville consistently a) claims that there isn't and b) refuses to reveal anything about the content anyway. it's straight-up bad 'reporting'.

eyepatch makes me assume this is Deathstroke or whatever Slade Wilson might be called these days

is that an eyepatch or a shadow (remember, this is a Liefeld drawing)

It could be a foot, for all we know.

it's a Liefeld drawing, the one thing we know for sure is it's NOT a foot

Hmmm. I have to assume, then, that it's a pouch of some kind, given the otherwise troubling dearth thereof.

It's a pouch he keeps his eye in.