Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

From what I've been able to glean, The Edge And The Dark (uuuughhh...) will be comprised of the following titles:

Swamp Thing
Animal Man
I, Vampire
Justice League Dark
Frankenstein
The Phantom Stranger
Sword Of Sorcery (Amethyst)
Suicide Squad
All-Star Western
Savage Hawkman
Deathstroke
Grifter
WildCATS
Team 7

So no real thematic cohesion or rational regrouping as much as, like, hey, let's just rebrand some random shit and see what happens. AKA DC's SOP over the past couple of years.

Why not just call it "Liefeld's Vertigostorm!!!"?

If you'd told me in the mid-'90s that Vertigo and early Image would someday be basically melded into a single comics line, I would've taken great strides to get you committed for the blatant insanity you were spewing.

I believe that it's also all the shit that will never, ever be in a big budget movie (Constantine excepted, for the lols).

I really don't understand what Team 7 is supposed to be at all, or why we need another team book.

I have no clue who Team 7 is.

I only know that the guy from I, Vampire is in it. Which is odd, because he left Justice League Dark because he didn't do teams.

Team 7 was yet another mid-'90s Image/Wildstorm thing. IDGI.

wait did I read that right there is a new Amethyst comic

> If you'd told me in the mid-'90s that Vertigo and early Image would someday be basically melded into a single comics line, I would've taken great strides to get you committed for the blatant insanity you were spewing.

That's the most OTM thing in the history of OTM things posted to this here board.

yep. New Amethyst and the original finally gets a showcase edition.

And yes, they're bringing AMETHYST back in an anthology title. I have little faith.

Wait, no faith. I have no faith in that title being any good.

negative faith.

anti-faith

The New 52: The Anti-Faith Equation

haha, perfect ^^^

I know no one actually cares but Team 7 was essentially the main genesis point for the Wildstorm superhero universe; they were essentially the "prequel" team that set the stage for all of the other books to launch (IIRC, half of them ended up in WildCATS, the other half ended up in or influencing Stormwatch and their kids ended up as Gen13). Basically, since the Wildstorm universe has now been folded into regular DC continuity, they're using them as a conceptual platform to explain the genesis of the Wildstormy bits of the DC universe and tying that origin story closer together by adding DC characters to the roster like Amanda Waller and Deathstroke.

haha every time I talk about the Wildstorm bits of this I feel like I have to preface it with "I know no one actually cares but..."

I am still pissed that they are publishing The Authority as Stormwatch BTW; BRING BACK FLINT, FAHRENHEIT, BATTALION, SYNERGY, HELLSTRIKE, FUJI, WINTER, SWIFT, etc etc etc

(I would consider buying Stormwatch if they introduced some of those characters into it)

I liked the Team 7 series but they were basically Chuck Dixon doing his soldier/punisher-style writing for a special ops/secret projects team in the 70s

Shakey Mo wins the thread.

CAN EVEN THE NEW GODS STOP THE ANTI-FAITH EQUATION? FIND OUT IN: THE BATTLE BEFORE INFINITY'S END!

Wait was that Lynch's old team, with the fathers of some of the current superheros?

yes

why comics suck in 2012
it's the liefeld man

this batman owl thing had a really mediocre ending

BUT THERE WAS A ROOM FULL OF FANS WEARING OWL MASKS. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

/haven't read it
//dun wanna

Wait, do you mean at SDCC? wtf

btw also the owl thing was, for the most part, really cool -- at least if you just stuck to the main title

Yeah, apparently DC put masks under all the seats for the Scott Snyder BATMAN panel and the crowd was told to put 'em on for a group picture. It was kinda creepy.

Batgirl #11: For once a structured and balanced issue from Gail Simone as she winds back all her fake teen bullshit and her OMG WIMMIN ARE STRONG DYS nonsense (although, again, all the characters are women including the hint at the SPOILER at the end - which is a pretty high success rate because if SPOILER is who we're meant to think it is then it's the only other female option out of a field of at least a dozen. Does that make it more or less sexist?) and we get a decently paced issue that explores the Knightfall character and the policewoman that helps Babs out. But wait! If she's fighting crime, who's saving her roomie from James Gordon? OH NOES! It's ok though, he just wants to give her a cat. He's a nice boy really.

Batman #11: Scott Snyder finally wraps up Owls by exploring the Thomas Wayne Jr story (in the middle of a great, deranged fight) and we're left with the final question which is now torturing Bruce. Is it true? Or is it just another last play of the hand by the Owls in trying to tip him over the edge? It feels odd saying it about one of the New 52 titles, but people will look back on this as one of the great Bat-arcs, I'm sure. Buy or borrow the inevitable trade and see if I'm wrong. If you hate it, I might even refund you (but don't hold your breath on that one).

Batman & Robin #11: Peter Tomasi introduces Terminus; a character who, if I didn't know better, was a thinly disguised attempt at making a Bane that ties in more with the forthcoming film - he even gets called a terrorist to ram the point home. It's a shame, because I'm really warming to the psycho-Robin trying to prove to the other ex-Robins that he's the best one and I kind of wish the plot would stick to that. But whatever, it's well executed and worth yer bucks.

Deathstroke #11: is not worth yer bucks. It's Liefeld all the way, although knees appear to be his weakness this month and not feet. All the other stereotypes are there though - badly-held sword with bendy blades, ill-conceived guns, poor perspective, cankles, people standing at different heights, relative size of objects changing... Lobo's biggest sin seems to be selling the Lorax into slavery, although the highlight for me is when his spaceship starts its self-destruct sequence by ejecting a 3 1/2" floppy disk. I'm assuming SOMEBODY except DiDio and Liefeld like this, but I'm at a loss who they might be.

Demon Knights #11: A fine issue, as usual, with the comedy relief of Vandal Savage firmly breaking any grim 'n' gritty pretences - although al Jabr becoming MODOK had pretty much done for that anyway. The plot continues on, King Arthur has to destroy Glastonbury Tor and Morgaine shows her hand, but I suspect most people are reading this for the characterisation and interaction rather than anything else.

Frankenstein #11: Matt Kinot has watched The Prisoner. This issue does not make me happy.

Grifter #11: Having said that, it makes me happier than Grifter. Where Liefeld has turned him into some "Jedi-dude" who is reall the chosen one of the Daemonites. Helpfully for arch Liefeld-biter Marat Michaels, Rob writes a chick in a swimsuit who can be the undercover baddie so he can show off his art skills. Not so helpfully for us, this is a bag of shit from start to finish.

Legion Lost #11: This week's idgi phrase is "Dawnstar... or Pawnstar?!!?!!?!" WTF? Is it supposed to be a pun on pornstar? If so, are we going to see the plot from THAT John Byrne Superman strip again? Or is she going to open a shop in Las Vegas with a pile of overweight and stupid relatives? Or is she just going to be used as a pawn, and you thought it would be a cool made up word? IT ISN'T.

Resurrection Man #11: There's a big fight in The Lab, which is a cloaked tower in a cola factory, and we end up going through the same motions as issue 2. Literally, with exactly the same people and the same outcome. Going round in circles inside a year isn't a good look and shows a severe lack of initiative.

Suicide Squad #11: It gets mentioned again here, but we never did find out how King Shark got to be clever, did we? Anyway, another well-written and plotted issue sees the first traitor blow up the plane the Squad are on, making Waller think they're dead. So... they get a little sloppy and might end up being sacrificed to the Mayan gods. No fair! I want to find out who the other traitor is! Come back next month to find out, or watch them all die in a tasty way.

Superboy #11: Unsure how I feel about this issue. Lots of good bits - Bunker taking Superboy away for a tattoo (although how does it work with indestructible skin?), Superboy having taken all N.O.W.H.E.R.E.'s money - but the bad guy is a bit Sadface once he's half-beaten, not that Superboy cares as he just punches him into bits. So, not a coherent 20 pages then. I could be persuaded into thinking it was good, I'm sure.

Ravagers #3: Brother Blood is back. He's not very good. He's the best thing in this book.

I will check out the Batmens on your say-so, but is it really better than when Grant Morrison did what sounds like the same story 3-4 years ago?

It gets mentioned again here, but we never did find out how King Shark got to be clever, did we?

We did, actually. In... #9 I think? Whichever issue was intercut between Waller basically torturing all of the Suicide Squad members and the flashbacks of the Basilisk traitor on the team, there was a scene with King Shark where he complained about being kept dry, as that limited his ability to think and reason. Therefore, dumping him in the ocean was kind of a shock to his IQ.

To clarify my earlier position: I think the Owls ending was a cop-out in that there was some great building action but the ending is this epic fight that boils down to "Noo, it's not true!" between buildings falling over.

Cool plot idea, but the fact that Morrison used the supposedly-dead family member red herring in the last few years made it seem like it was recycling a little too soon.

xp to Andrew, who asks the real question

Andrew, the lead up to that plot point is well worth reading the arc, even if that part falls a little flat.

Dan, you're right.

I think the thing I'd add on the Owls is that the psychological taking apart of Batman is handled at least as well here, possibly because it's more believable and being done TO him rather than being something which, for the most part, he does to himself in RIP.

OK, this is how good I think it is - it never once made me think that GMoz had done more or less the same thing until it was mentioned just now. That's being carried along by writing for you.

I’ve enjoyed the Owl story but it’s been a bit slugfest-y Scooby Doo-y for the past few issues and I’m glad we’re moving on. The earlier Owl story, with Bruce trapped in the underground lair, was a goddamn actual classic though, I think.

Aldo, did you read City of Crime? Really recommend if you haven’t.

reread Gates of Gotham the other day, it's still pretty good

City of Crime is pretty great, yeah. I think when I move I need to dig out the last 10 years of Bat-stories and work through them.

Batbooks have been one of the only consistently enjoyable things about DC for the past decade.

Batwoman #11: Hooray! An issue of Batwoman that actually goes somewhere! And this feels like a proper conclusion to the Weeping Woman story too, what with the supernatural mystery being shown to be relatively mundane, some resolution in the Bette plot and a happy ever after (of sorts) for Kate. Yeah, Killer Croc is far to easily dealt with but I can just about forgive it. I'm not keen on the "...'s Story" page titlings either, but again I can live with it. But then the last page - "The Mother Of All Monsters". OI! WILLIAMS III! NOO! Enough with the mothers and daughters shoehorning into the plot. Who do you think you are, Gail Simone? I think my patience has run its course with this book - either it needs to be pretty, or good. I can live with either, but it's been neither for too long.

Birds of Prey #11: Well I sort of didn't expect that. Ivy is dying for unexplained reasons and being kept alive by her suit, which has been specially bio-engineered by Big Pharma. So she persuades the whole team to be environmental terrorists, to the point where (it appears) they're happy to execute CEOs of comapnies they don't like. Because the jungle poisoned them. Hmm. Anyway, Travel Foreman goes a long way here to prove that I was right about his art sucking - even with a different inker it's still awful, maybe even worse than it was on Animal Man. I mean, look, this is the shocked/outraged panel when our heroes find out they only have 6 months to live:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7259/7614528848_87bb2aaf38_z.jpg
I'm not really sure why he's still in work if I'm honest. Then again, this is a company with Liefeld and JT Krul on the books.

Blue Beetle #11: Paco has turned into a giraffe in hospital. Or maybe there's another explanation for this:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7113/7614587770_09f6580617_z.jpg
Anyway, this all centres around a fight between Beetle and Booster Gold, which starts because Bettle accuses Booster of carrying out the plot of the 80s BG series. Which presumably he still did in the Johnsiverse, as he's still rich. We then get a "hilarious" commentary on how Mexicans supposedly think white people thinks about Mexicans in America, and Paco ends up turned into an alium at the end. Poor Paco. Nothing goes right for him. How's he going to find a nice girl to settle down with at this rate?

Captain Atom #11: Oh, JT Krul Paws. Human Captain Atom tries to get the woman whose hand Captain Atom Captain Atom burnt off turning her into One Handed Captain Atom to cheat on her boyfriend with him by drinking her milkshake, while Captain Atom Captain Atom is stuck in a glowing blue sphere being perved on by Steven Hawking. Captain Atom Captain Atom brings a dead woman back to life (you'd think he'd have learned from previous issues, but at least one of the lab assistants has read them) before letting Steven Hawking fly off into the void of space without a spacesuit. Except it seems like it was all in his mind, because he's dead on the floor. Human Captain Atom kisses One Handed Captain Atom, which makes Captain Atom Captain Atom jealous, so he burns down the laboratory. And if you think that was unreadable, don't go near the comic.

Catwoman #11: Catwoman has SURPRISE! BUTTSECKS! with a policeman while her boyfriend watches with binoculars, which turns him on so much they are going to do the sexing before the policeman hauls her away with a booty call. Dollhouse gets unmasked, there are a piles of diversions which makes it pretty hard to work out what's actually going on, but Policeman Booty ends up being kidnapped. Never mind, because next issues Batman resolves everything according to the blurb. Whose book is this again?

DCU Presents #11: Vandal Savage's daughter and a policeman's son who has been taking makeup tips from Kate Kane and Boston Brand discuss their daddy issues at length. Savage turns up and fights the boy, then his daughter shoots him through the head so she can talk through her issues herself. I'm being harsh, because James Robinson has done a good job here with characters he obviously loves. It's probably worth seeking out this story, as it's by far the best DCU Presents to date and a pretty good story in its own right, if a little wordy.

GLC #11: Oh God, I'd forgotten about the Alpha Lanterns. STOP INVENTING NEW THINGS. So, they torture Kilowog to tell them where John Stewart is - while we see him and Guy downstairs in the Guardians' Nazi Experiment Labs. Who'd have thought, all those DREAD FORCES FROM BEYOND TIME having been created down there in the ring foundry. But wait - because John Stewart is a GENIUS he manages to use all the failed experiments of an eternity's worth of Guardians into the perfect answer in a couple of minutes. Huzzah! But has it gone wrong? OH NOES!

Justice League #11: Batman manages to overcome the Superhero Sadface Sucker, because Batman thrives on his own Sadface (obviously) and so persuades everybody else to embrace their Sadface. The truth about Graves gets explained after he's told his Sadface story to Steve Trevor's sister, which when she tells Diana makes her all RARR RARR RARR like she's a Red Lantern or something and she kicks everyone's arses for them. But then she recovers and they all go off into the snow where they meet up with their Sadfaces for a nice cup of tea or something. Steve Trevor may or may not be dead, which may become a perpetual Sadface generator. Who knows. Or cares. The Shazam backup is finally getting somewhere, as Black Adam explains his part in the plot and Billy gets to the cave of the Wizard. Kimota!

LoSH #11: Some Legionaires save Brainiac and Dream Girl from the Dominators, which leads to a fight between Cosmic Boy and Mon-El as to why Mon-El didn't do it. Brainiac shows us some heretofore unseen and unknown powers, before being stabbed in the back by a traitor. This is kind of going round in circles, and is boring even me. Fix it soon, Levitz.

Nightwing #11: Hahahahahaha "Time to die!" and there's a clock hahahahahaha. Have a fight. There's more unintentional comedy later when a woman shows up complaining of "a problem dick" before admitting she is a "no dick" although she would "vote for yes dick". At least we get a reminder that Batman & Robin exists and should be impacting on other titles.

Red Hood #11: Wha? I feel like I've missed out about 10 issues. I have no idea what's going on here at all - what I thougt was a plane and featured Shadow Boobs Woman seems to have been an intergalactic spaceship flown by one of Starfire's underlings and a good Dominator, and taking place simulataneously in the past, present and future. Then K'tten turns up (possibly) in the end having been transformed into a battle cat or something. There's now also a backup story with Shadow Boob Woman that happens prior to issue 2. I think I need to reread all of these to make sense of this issue.

Supergirl #11: Wow. A penguin taking a piss and a lion shagging a zebra, and we're not even past page 1. And a mosque to represent either "brutality" or "diversity. Maybe both. Supergirl sucks her thumb in space on the second page. The comedy Oirish girl now has a comedy Oirish brother to double the hilarity. Iron Man's Extremis suit shows up to break up Kara's pizza date with Oirish Boy, but not before she's ruined it for herself because (perhaps unsurprisingly) New York pizza makes her sick. She decides she's better off on her own and with a Byrnian supporting cast like she has I think that's for the best.

Wonder Woman #11: Justice League Wonder take Zola to the doctor so he can do a pre-natal but, as ever, SOME GREEK GODS TURN UP AND SPOIL IT. There's a long scrap, but the mystery of why Zola's baby is quite so important and why all the other Gods are against it remains. Looks like we have a war in Olympus next month. Despite that looking like a complaint, the pacing in this title is perfect with just enough revealed every month to keep you on the hook. Azzarello's best ever run on a comic.

In other news, I have transposed my stuff from here to a blog for non-ILXors but I guess it's where I'll rant about various things other than comics so may be of interest.

http://savingyoutheeffort.blogspot.co.uk/

Nice! Nabbed the atom feed to add to my reader.

Now that we're a year in, it's good to see DC have gotten over the teething problems that embarrassingly plagued the early launches, and their creative teams and directions are firmly bedded in now.

The Flash #11, solicited with art by Francis Manapul, will now have art by Marcus To and Ray McCarthy.

The Fury of Firestorm: The Nuclear Men #11, solicited with having Ethan Van Sciver as a co-writer, will actually just be written by Joe Harris.

Animal Man #12 now features a story co-written by Scott Snyder and Jeff Lemire.

Detective Comics #12 now features art by Tony Daniel & Richard Friend.

Stormwatch #12 now features art by Will Conrad & Julio Ferreira.

Swamp Thing #12 now features a story co-written by Scott Snyder and Jeff Lemire.

Batman #12 now features art by Becky Cloonan and Andy Clarke instead of Greg Capullo.

Green Lantern #12 now features art by Renato Guedes and Jim Calafiore instead of Doug Mahnke and Mark Irwin.

Legion Lost #12 now features art by Pete Woods instead of Andres Guinaldo and Mark Irwin.

The Ravagers #4 now features art by Daniel Sampere instead of Ian Churchill.

Resurrection Man #12 now features art by Javi Pina instead of Jesus Saiz.

Superboy #12 now features art by Eduardo Pansica, Robson Rocha, Mariah Benes, Dan Green and Andy Owens, instead of R. B. Silva and Rob Lean.

So someone was saying that there was going to be a Green Lantern with a gun in an upcoming book. I asked the obvious question: "Will it be a gun made of magic green willpower?" The answer was "No."

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

yellow bullets, duh

Cloonan and Clarke on Batman appears to be a genuine actual filler -- Capullo's drawn 11 issues on the go. Admittedly the last one looked hurried as fuck, but that could have been the inker.

they banked heaps of fillers on different titles in the first six months - now that they've already soft-rebooted half the new continuity since the launch, wonder how many are unusuable already

The new continuity has already been rebooted? What?

lots of characters' histories have already been re-written or contradicted title-to-title, cf Liefeld/Hawkman stuff in this thread for eg

Yeah, I call soft-reboot on Hawkman, Grifter, I Vampire, Justice League Dark, Supergirl, Captain Atom, Firestorm, Red Hood and Legion Lost. There's an argument that says The Culling rebooted Superboy and Teen Titans as well.

Of course, none of this explains how Kyle Rayner was the only rebooted GL at the start of the New 52, yet interacts with other colours of Lantern that haven't been rebooted.

Batman and Batman & Robin too, apparently. And any other titles that Tim Drake has been in, I guess.

Can we get a soft-reboot summary? Not that I'm ever going to read most of those, but this intrigues me.

Batman #1: Tim Drake is Red Robin, formerly Robin
Teen Titans Annual #1: This is Tim Drake, who used to work with Batman as Robin.
variously: Tim Drake first person thought captions "When I was Robin blah blah"
Currently in Batman & Robin: the "War Of The Robins" storyline, where Damian gathers all the former Robins and pledges to pwn them, bcz of his resentment of Tim Drake
announced at SDCC: Tim Drake was never Robin.

I'm not reading any of these either but it intrigues me too, especially because it was so obvious beforehand, to anyone observing, that this kind of clusterfuckery would happen that it's amazing DC's handling it so very badly