Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

So someone was saying that there was going to be a Green Lantern with a gun in an upcoming book. I asked the obvious question: "Will it be a gun made of magic green willpower?" The answer was "No."

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

yellow bullets, duh

Cloonan and Clarke on Batman appears to be a genuine actual filler -- Capullo's drawn 11 issues on the go. Admittedly the last one looked hurried as fuck, but that could have been the inker.

they banked heaps of fillers on different titles in the first six months - now that they've already soft-rebooted half the new continuity since the launch, wonder how many are unusuable already

The new continuity has already been rebooted? What?

lots of characters' histories have already been re-written or contradicted title-to-title, cf Liefeld/Hawkman stuff in this thread for eg

Yeah, I call soft-reboot on Hawkman, Grifter, I Vampire, Justice League Dark, Supergirl, Captain Atom, Firestorm, Red Hood and Legion Lost. There's an argument that says The Culling rebooted Superboy and Teen Titans as well.

Of course, none of this explains how Kyle Rayner was the only rebooted GL at the start of the New 52, yet interacts with other colours of Lantern that haven't been rebooted.

Batman and Batman & Robin too, apparently. And any other titles that Tim Drake has been in, I guess.

Can we get a soft-reboot summary? Not that I'm ever going to read most of those, but this intrigues me.

Batman #1: Tim Drake is Red Robin, formerly Robin
Teen Titans Annual #1: This is Tim Drake, who used to work with Batman as Robin.
variously: Tim Drake first person thought captions "When I was Robin blah blah"
Currently in Batman & Robin: the "War Of The Robins" storyline, where Damian gathers all the former Robins and pledges to pwn them, bcz of his resentment of Tim Drake
announced at SDCC: Tim Drake was never Robin.

I'm not reading any of these either but it intrigues me too, especially because it was so obvious beforehand, to anyone observing, that this kind of clusterfuckery would happen that it's amazing DC's handling it so very badly

Obviously Damian punched the bat-continuity so hard it made everyone forget Tim Drake was Robin.

Hahaha I heart Damian so much.

it was so obvious beforehand, to anyone observing, that this kind of clusterfuckery would happen that it's amazing DC's handling it so very badly

This is kind of the moral of the last 12 months, though?

Is Batman & Robin worth anything without G Moz?

It's OK. Doesn't set the world on fire exactly.

Soft reboots:

Hawkman - Carter Hall starts as a kind of redneck archeologist, very Republican, and is possessed by the Nth metal he finds on an alien while diving. Then he finds the Mortis Orb and it turns out he was deliberately put here by somebody to fight zombies with swords. Nth metal now less important than a bent blade.

Grifter - was the same as Wildstorm, now is the chosen one of the Daemonites (their anti-Christ, almost) who is destined to destroy them.

I, Vampire - started as the lone voice of vampire sanity when they were all on the rampage, became the anti-Christ (having been chosen sincew birth for the role) briefly to fight zombies and united all the vampires behind him, is now king of the vampires again, but they don't like him since the fearless anti-vampire army have shown up to kill them. Also started out as a vertigo-esque book, is now broad knockabout comedy (somewhere between the Goon and Nextwave in tone).

Supergirl - is/was Kara Zor-El, cast out from Krypton. For about 4 issues it was more than strongly implied she was in fact created by gene engineers making a race called the World Breakers, but that's been forgotten already (although not really concluded).

Captain Atom - was a pilot transformed by the doctor in the wheelchair whose name I can't remember. Is now the god/elemental of time and space (possibly God itself) and was waiting for the right level of awareness in the world to activate. Has made lots of mini Captain Atoms through His grace.

Firestorm - was two people fused together as a result of Martin Raymond's experiments. Now is one person, who was part of an earth-wide superpower creation programme using nuclear power.

Red Hood - was Jason Todd as per bat mythology. Now is Jason Todd, chosen one of the Shadows who is a result of milennia of breeding programmes to produce the perfect mystical assassin. Yet still was Robin, hence why Damian is after him.

Legion Lost - were dumped in the present day due to a malfunctioning time bubble. They have now been back to the future and saw it destroyed so returned to the present, where it turns out they got here as a result of time meddling by teh Ravagers/NOWHERE/The Culling etc and the future they knew doesn't exist which means they can't get home.

Also started out as a vertigo-esque book, is now broad knockabout comedy (somewhere between the Goon and Nextwave in tone).

wait waht

I had to read over that a few times, too. wtf, DC

I might be exaggerating how funny it is, but it's over 50% humour for sure, The Army of Van Helsings that have turned into Napalm Zombies are a good example.

Are those reboots, though, or just dumb-ass plot developments/arbitrary status quo changes?

They're not full reboots, but they're changes of Origin as far as I'm concerned which is most of the way to rebooting.

lololol Batman Inc due out today: delayed by a month due to "sensitivity concerns." I assume we'll see the same holdbacks on any other Batman or DC comics this month that involve guns or violence, and the nu52 #0 event will now be staggered out as a result?

The BATMAN INC embargo was...unevenly-enacted. I got my copy yesterday. I've heard from friends in a couple places that they got theirs as well.

having seen the issue, what about it was controversial?

I haven't finished it, but I suspect it was that first page.

All Star Western #11: In many ways, the direction ASW went in the post Jonah Hex era has entirely justified the reboot. The seamless integration of Hex and Arkham into Gotham's history has got us to where we are - the struggle between Owls and the Crime Bible for control. FIXING CONTINUITY ON EVERY PAGE. Plus how many comics do you know that have a panel titled "steam powered death machine"? Cracking stuff, and the Terrence Thirteen backup is probably the best extra yet. "This is the 19th century, for pity's sake!"

Aquaman #11: A confused mess, again. It's difficult to work out which of the two timelines this story is working in, particularly since the two teams are in the same location at different times. And the stuff you can actually work out is even more confused. Manta threatens to kill Mera, because the way he's going to fight her can only kill her. So when it appears he's beaten her, is she dead? The perceived link between Manta and Shin we saw at the end of the last issue has not only come to nothing, but it actually looks like the last issue was completely incorrect. This is such a frustrating book, as from time to time I love it but the rest of the time I struggle to finish pages. One mystical glowing widget and another mystical glowing widget triangulate to find a third mystical glowing widget that nobody knew existed, and nobody knew two could triangulate despite them having been kept together for ages. Just hurry up and destroy Atlantis again dude.

Batman Inc #3: OK, I know not everybody got this so I'll keep it as spoiler light as possible. Hats off to DC, I suppose, for reacting to public events but I have no idea why they've done what they've done. Presumably it's the last panel of page 1? This is pretty good, but you'll figure out the Matches story from one of the first panels and way before the reveal which I'm not sure you should be able to. There's double (and possibly triple) crosses, we find out what BatCow's been up to (eating hay, it seems) and we find out what Damian's capable of. But really, two simultaneous books with a bad entity called Leviathan in publication at the same time? That's just sloppy editing. Towers above most other issues this week yet still feels like it's treading water. I think Grant may well be right, maybe it is time for him to be done with hero books.

Batman the Dark Knight #11: Batman interrogates a cuddly toy called Ducky, who helps him find the Scarecrow. Yes, really. Now that's a film I would have watched. Secretly this is maybe my favourite Batbook that isn't Batman. David Finch has stopped doing the things he isn't good at, and concentrating on the things he is - like a genuinely creepy Scarecrow and weird anachronistic weapons. This is definitely worth your attention, although I'm not sure I'd recommend buying it.

Green Lantern #11: I wish I had read Blackest Night, because then I would know how unlikely this all is or what any of it means. The Knights That Say Nok take Hal out of Sinestro's control, and the bad buy from Blackest Night starts Blackest Night-ing all over again. He brings his parents a chinese takeout, which is an odd choice because everybody knows zombies prefer brains. Maybe you get brains in Coast City takeaways? Or is Coast City still destroyed? Does anyone care except Geoff Johns? At the end Sinestro reveals the current plot of GLC to Kyle as they stand in his batcave and then they open the Black Book of the Black Black and get sucked out to a suburban house to share the Black Hand's takeout with the corpses. I think Sinestro would have preferred KFC.

GL New Guardians #11: During this, Larfleeze manages to get all his constructs to hold off the entire army of all the other coloured Lanterns. Now maybe I'm missing something, but wouldn't that imply Orange is the strongest of all colours? Which makes you wonder why he needed the other ones to do his work killing Invictus. Even his little captive Guardian tuts at one point at how ludicrous this is. He gets defeated by his own jealousy at somebody else possibly having an Orange ring, but not before he's done what we've all wanted to do and klunked Rayner round the head with his lantern. All the colours then forget their natures and unite as a team after Glomulus is discorporated, and it turns out that the Guardian was the one plotting all along. NOT LIKE THAT'S EVER HAPPENED IN A GL BOOK BEFORE. The last page seems to imply the next issue is the final one, but it's not on the cancellation list so I'm not getting my hopes up.

I, Vampire #11: So the zombies may not be zombies, and it might just be a fashion statement as they're mummies in disguise. But then biting them just seems to make things worse - which is kind of tough when you're a vampire since biting is kind of your raison d'etre. Looks like Stormwatch are going to turn up to kill the vampire zombie vampire vampire killers. I'm sometimes not sure what happens in any two issues of this book are actually linked.

Justice League Dark #11: Felix Faust was just a diversionary part of the story which is really about persauding Tim Hunter to do magic again? Really? He fought the Justice League proper in the Silver Age. He's a big hitter. And here he is being beaten by a chick that talks backwards and Steve Trevor. Steve fscking Trevor man, a guy who doesn't want to have sex with a hott woman. The way they treat people's reputations in the Johnsiverse is weird. Anyway, Not Harry Potter has given up being a magic and sold his dove pan to Paul Daniels. I like this. Not a lot though.

Superman #11: Dan Jurgens' 80s obsession continues as Superman battles a Red Menace. Or rather an a;ien that the Russkies inadvertently brought to Earth in their attempts to pursue the super-arms race. Which is odd, because that implies they don't know that they've got a Firestorm. Maybe Dan just isn't reading that book. I don't blame him, I wish I wasn't.

Teen Titans #11: Wonder Girl seems to have stolen the Nth Metal armour now Rob Liefeld's thrown it out of Hawkman. There's a lot of chat about who's made out with who, leaving Bunker out in the cold (until Vibe turns up as a potential boyfriend in the near future) and Superboy turns down a definite shag because people are a bit vaccuous. Danny The Street seems to have a dinosaur fetish, as he couldn'tleave them all on Mystery Island or so it seems in the new backup. I'm not sure quite what makes this so good, but if it works then who cares.

Flash #11: A sort of nothing story as Barry's Rogues Gallery reconvenes. I'm still holding out for the Turtle though. When's he showing up, eh? The least good issue to date, but all the rest have been brilliant so it's not really a slight.

Firestorm #11: I can't tell whether SCORN is a baddie name or a sound effect, which can't be a good sign. Some of the Firestorms fight the cloned army of Islamic Firestorms while the other Firestorms look for the other other Firestorms. The main plot of this now seems to be what Warren Ellis did far, far better a few years ago in Supergod but I'm left wondering most while reading this why none of the other heroes on the planet have got involved in a war of this scope - especially since JLI were kind of part of the plot at one point. I think we should see more of the mix-amd-match Firestorm creation system when they merge randomly, as it's the only thing in the book we haven't seen 1000 times before. Turgid.

Hawkman #11: OH GOOD ANOTHER NEW ROB LIEFELD CHARACTER WITH SWORDS AND STUFF. Never mind though, Hawkman hates Catholics so he's able to beat him up easily. The issue then turns out to be circular, as we're back where we were before the issue took place in terms of plot. So it must be time for ANOTHER NEW ROB LIEFELD CHARACTER WITH POUCHES AND STUFF. It must be tiring being Rob. No wonder he can't draw feet, trying to keep all the AWESOME in your head must be an ongoing struggle. Well, either that or he can't draw very well. But then surely he wouldn't be a comics millionaire?

Voodoo #11: MAYBE SLIGHTLY INFLUENCED BY SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS. Voodoo has a fight with two giant statues while orcs and goblins fight Not Voodoo until she grows wings. She then catches her up and next month's final issue sees them battle for the One Flame To Rule The All And In The Darkness Bind Them. If it doesn't turn out to be a secret GL offshoot book I will be gutted, because you can't have enough of them now, can you?

Baz.

http://i.newsarama.com/images/gl_cv0_previews_final2_02.jpg

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_O-_F30rZ2lA/TR96Z0dgPcI/AAAAAAAAC4k/T4SJxp36Mbg/s1600/bondarchivebazza.png

that's. um. that's a black green lantern with a ski mask, tattoos and a pistol is what that is.

an arabic tattoo, glowing green.

egad.

Words fail me. As they so often do when talking about DC.

Action Comics #12: At last, Grant Morrison becomes "Grant Morrison" in this book. It's full of lovely ASS/Silver Age nods, but what I take away from it most is that it says Superman was a story waiting for its time to come. A narrative causality which had some failed runs before coming true. And Adam Blake is just one of those failed runs - although between him and Susie, including the way he talks about there being 5 of them, positively reeks of it being an attempt to integrate the Marvel Family into the New 52 before being told not to so Shazam could be Johnsed up. In the rest he ties up pretty much all his loose ends; Batman turns up with his film tie-in thumb drive and tells Supes to become Clark again, and it turns out that all our hunches about Clark's landlady were bang on. We even find out that there was indeed a good reason for the panel linger on the short man in #1. I'm not sure which issue is GMoz's last, but it's hurtling towards it. After a few months of treading water, this book is back in the game.

Animal Man #12: Talking of treading water, this takes half an issue to get from the final panel of Animal Man #11 to the final panel of Swamp Thing #11, which is a good use of everyone's time. It takes the second half to get to what feels like the first panel of Swamp Thing 12. And there you have what the problem is with this issue, and to a degree with the book as a whole - that it feels completely incidental to the story it's trying to tell, which is being told more completely (and better) in other places. Which is in many ways a shame, particularly since Steve Pugh finally seems to have a handle on the art, but at least it's not BAD. Damning with faint praise? Maybe, but in the Johnsiverse there's nothing wrong with mediocrity.

Batwing #12: Not cancelled yet? Why not make things better by crossing over with a title that gets cancelled this month, starring a character whose own book was cancelled 6 months ago! As it is here, which sees Batwang team up with the JLI (who currently feature OMAC for no good reason). They invade an African country for shits and giggles, only to find out the bad guy is some sort of abundance elemental. So they beat him up anyway, and then lock him in prison so they can continue to exploit his power. This is a completely directionless book, and without the beautiful art of the first plot has nothing to recommend ongoing purchase. Batwang Zero is about how Batwang joined Batman Inc. didn't we do that already?

Detective Comics #12: Hmm. (not a Rorscach impression) Something and nothing. The radioactive man plot sort of peters out into nothing. Far better is the backup story, which outs Harvey Bullock as a workplace bully and teases the imminent return of the Joker. Who'd have thought a discarded flap of skin could lead to so much entertainment? Maybe that explains why the Jews run Hollywood? OH NOES I HAVE UNCOVERED THE PROTOCOLS OF TEH ELDRS OF ZION!

Dial H #4: After pointing out last month that what we thought was going to be the plot wasn't we get the most Mieville issue yet with talk of nullomancers and abyss-shaping. Maybe this is getting too into his style, and maybe it's getting to be for fans only but I AM ONE AND IT SUCKS TO BE YOU IF YOU'RE NOT. Still great and wildly inventive, this deserves to be DC's biggest selling book.

Earth 2 #4: Captain Atom of Earth 2 is revealed and we all laugh inwardly. HE IS NOT LIKE CAPTAIN ATOM CAPTAIN ATOM, YOU SEE? He is instead like the Ray Palmer Atom except in reverse. When he rubs himself, he gets big. That could catch on. Anyway, he gets so big he is able to make Grundy do a splurge just by touching him, which is just as well because Alan Scott has a temperemental ring. This is actually a really good book, mainly because James Robinson gets to do what he likes. So between this and Dial H, is the answer to actually have decent creative teams and give them their heads? Whatever next?

GI Combat #4: Oh God, it's Krul. And he's as bad as ever. He does things that should be beaten out of you at writer school, like having your character start a sentence by saying 'great' sarcastically, twice on the same page. Great. The art, which was quite nice in previous issues is now weirdly stilted and the big splash page actually looks like a composite image. As ever, the title is rescued by Gray and Palmiotti's Unknown Soldier which is more Punisher-esque than previous iterations but not necessarily for the worse. Plus he now seems to be resurrectable, which can't be a bad trick to have in the golf bag. Next month: surprises. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Green Arrow #12: Ann Nocenti cannot play cards. This is transparently obvious on page 1 where she tries to make equal bluffing and not hitting somebody during a fight. THERE IS NO PLACE WHERE THESE ARE CLOSE TO BEING SIMILAR. Anyway, the Chinese are racistly Chinese, to the point where the one that ends up having a conversation with Ollie has a shar-pei, JUST BECAUSE. But hey, as long as it all "sounds hot" because of some Yellow Peril bullshit then it's all good, right? Anyway, Ollie fights some people with guns and a holographic girl while someother plot critical people play golf. You know what? I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA.

JLI #12: THANK FUCK IT'S OVER. (Except for the annual) But wait. The JLI stay together as the JLI with money and all kinds of stuff so nothing has changed? So why is this book finishing again? OH YEAH, BECAUSE IT SUCKS. I really have no idea what this is for or anything, it's just some shit heroes being vaguely talky and then talking more. Absolute rot.

Red Lanterns #12: After a debated over several pages about whose vengeance is purer, until it turns out that blood was all the Red battery needed to make it alive after all. You'd think that Atrocitus, having invented it, might have know that. Or, like me, you might just not give a fuck. Is Pete Milligan better than this? I don't know any more.

Stormwatch #12: Jenny Quantum daydreams that the Martian Manhunter wants to kill her because she likes non-threatening boys. She then looks at posters of non-threatening boys. Midnighter has fantasies about losing to the Martian Manhunter before beating him, sort of. Jonn Jonzz thens leaves altogether because some ancient Egyptians, who are also multi-dimensional beings from Shadow land, speak to him like he's a child. He then Doctor Light Tiny Feets Mind Rapes everyone, until the JLI turn up to kiss some penguins (which presumably is a JLAntarctica tribute, except it probably isn't).

Swamp Thing #12: ACTUALLY A PLOT after Animal Man failed to deliver. This bites, in quite a big way, Alan Moore's War In Hell isuues at the end of American Gothic, but has just enough swagger of its own to carry it off. Abby still looks like she could kick everyone's arse, which is good enough for me.

World's Finest #4: Present day stuff still awful, Kev Maguire stuff still great. A comic of two halves and at the end of the day, Brian, not everyone's a winner, I'm sick as a parrot over the moon.

After reading that Detective review I'm desperately afraid that a villain named Bris is going to appear. Even odds that he's a Johns or Liefeld creation. Evil Lantern or foreskin pouch guy with an izmel knife? *shudder*

I'm now further horrified by the idea that Bris and Bane will team up and take over Australia in some vain attempt at recapturing the humor of the late 80s JLI.

But maybe it would be worth it to bring G'Nort to the G'Nu-52.

I'm not sure which issue is GMoz's last, but it's hurtling towards it.

#16.

Hey so a year into the super-accessible new-reader-friendly reboot of the DC universe, with a #0 event reiterating the accessibility of the line, how discrete and singular is the nu-52 proudly holding up?

1. “Hawkman: Wanted” crosses over between Hawkman, Green Arrow and Deathstroke
2. “H’ell on Earth” crosses over between Superman, Supergirl and Superboy
3. “Death of the Family” crosses over between Batman, Batman and Robin, Batgirl, Catwoman, Nightwing and Suicide Squad
4. “Rise of the Third Army” crosses over between Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Red Lantern, Green Lantern: The New Guardians
5. “Rot World” crosses over between Animal Man, Swamp Thing and Frankenstein
6. Titles with a plot concerning the Black Diamond (which may be an “Eclipso returns! Or appears for the first time! Who knows!” event) – All-Star Western, Team 7 and Demon Knights
7. Titles leading into something called Trinity War – Justice League, Phantom Stranger

That’s 5 formal crossovers, 2 build-ups and a total of 24 titles. That’s very nearly half of the New 52 line that’s spilling into a shared storyline.

Batgirl #12: Gail Simone's ALL WOMEN ALL OF THE TIME schtick comes back to haunt her as she's now reduced to Batgirl fighting Batwoman. Man, there are stacks of great female heroes and villains she could fight or are they Johns-embargoed? New Wave? Hypnota? Shimmer? The Golden Glider? I mean she ice-skates on the air! What's not to like about that? Plus she even looks good to Bronies:

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How much better would that make this book, eh? ONE BILLION PERCENT BETTER, THAT'S HOW MUCH.

Batman #12: Scott Snyder really concentrates on the seemingly minor character he introduced in Batman #7 (Harper Row) who it seems like is going to be the Johnsiverse Lucius Fox, or probably more accurately the Microchip (or the last version, the skate kid) to the BatPunisher. The most notable thing is how awful Becky Cloonan's art is - Harper spends the whole issue looking like she has bogies hanging down from her nose rather than a piercing and its Scott Pilgrim/TokyoPop aping is completely at odds with the Batman tenor. More successful are the last few pages by Bolland-biter Andy Clarke, but what's up with Tiger Shark's bottom lip in his first panel? And the final shot of Harper is just dreadful. But, hey ho. Get on with your next epic, Snyder.

Batman & Robin: Woohoo, NotBane fights Batman in Not The Suit From DKR while the Ex-Robins fight something from Animal Man. And ends with Bats steering a nuculer bomb into Gotham Harbour where it's safe, ejecting at the very last minute while Robin(s) looks on with a bit of sadface (plus Jason Todd is clearly styled on Robotman from the Doom Patrol). Nothing like originality, eh?

Deathstroke #12: Can the book get any more Liefeld than the cover? Isn't a reflection of a gritty teeth leaping attacker, chest at 90 degrees to the floor, reflected in a sword WITH LENS FLARE the most epic thing ever? Rob must do these in his sleep. It looks like it at times. But wait, this features some of the worst Liefeld art in the Johnsiverse. Challops I know, but check this bad boy out:

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THE LIEFELDENING

Demon Knights #12: It's a TARDIS! Morgaine's got a TARDIS!

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If Doctor Who writer Paul Cornell doesn't make this happen I will lose my faith in humanity (again). It also contains the best line of dialogue this month, when Vandal Savage nonchalantly states "I will not die so a woman with no face can gain different genitalia!" In truth this is kind of muddled, with more plot than almost all the rest put together crammed into the last half-dozen pages - not to mention hints at The Rot being part of the plot here also in crossover overload - but it still feels like the sleeper book of the Johnsiverse.

Frankenstein #12: Mycroft and Crowly are Number One and Number Two in this ongoing version of The Prisoner. Frank kills Leviathan, which presumably comes as a shock to Batman, although I probably commented on that last month. Why is Satan's Ring important? Because it's the maguffin that ties this into The Rot of course! IT WAS THAT OBVIOUS!

Grifter #12: "Time to blow this popsicle stand. Literally." What part of being on a spaceship makes that literal. EH? And oh good, a Superman crossover after Zero Month. I'd say I can't wait, but you know that would be a lie.

Legion Lost #12: Chameleon Girl turns into the Predator Out Of The Arnie Film. That's all I've got. Not really sure why this hasn't been cancelled going forward as this issue makes a pretty clear end.

Ravagers #4: Beast Boy turns into a Tyrannosaurus Chicken but fails to bite Brother Blood's head off, so we find out what he looks like with a chimney on him once Lightning has jumped in a Puddle of Mudd. Then Fairchild walks about in her underwear looking for Niles Caulder, who turns up all non-wheelchaired and introduces Superboy. What is it about the Johnsiverse and people who were cripples being able to walk again? Is it some kind of anti-disability propaganda? Aquaman has his hand back, so can Jericho hear? Doctor Midnight see? WHERE WILL IT END?

Resurrection Man #12: I thought this was the final issue, but it turns out that Zero is. In this one, it turns out that some/all/one of the previous issues were a virtual reality induced on a Mitch held in a stasis chamber to see what his powers did; and that the guy who was in charge wasn't, because the other Mitch was all along. Which he demonstrates by killing Mitch 2's mates after Mitch 1 kills the guy we thought was in charge. Possibly. What a clusterfuck.

Suicide Squad #12: Someone who may be Zaxton Regulus from LoSH turns out to be behind the Mayan death camp. No, wait, it was Captain Boomerang after all. NO, WAIT, IT WAS BLACK SPIDER ALL ALONG? It's much better than I'm making it sound, really. Adn on the last page, Nu-Waller turns up in the house of Old-Waller. Or that's what it looks like anyway.

Superboy #12: Superboy goes disco dancing with Paris Hilton. No, really. I wish I could make something like that up.

What's Zero Month?

After they've all had an issue 12 they will all have an issue 0. They all seem kind of origin-y according to the trails but are all SHOCKING THINGS YOU WON'T BELIEVE!!111!!!!1

Is it just me or was it REALLY obvious after a while that Black Spider was the traitor? That just felt like the least suspenseful reveal ever.

Yeah, I figured it out a while ago.

We won't have Liefeld to kick around anymore:

http://www.comicsbeat.com/2012/08/22/rob-liefeld-quits-dc/

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Kwaku
08/22/2012 AT 3:28 PM
Whatever anyone thinks of Liefeld, this talk of last minute changes by editors has been repeated by a lot of others writers and is worrying.

monopole
08/22/2012 AT 3:42 PM
They were probably asking him to draw feet or something…

Snoopy otm

Way to build a third of your line (and much of an upcoming imprint!) around such a reliable dude.

If DC were an employee instead of a company, they would've been fired for gross incompetence so many times over the past year.

Batwoman #12: JH Williams is back concentrating on the artowrk again and, although the art doesn't actually look much like him (which is kind of weird) the layouts are an absolute delight. Not so much the story, which sort of continues the old plot (which was supposed to be done) but not really and crosses over with what appears to be the JLA Wonder Woman and not the Wonder Woman Wonder Woman. I don't feel any worse for reading it, whichis sometimes all I can hope for from DC these days.

Brids of Prey #12: Ummm, when did Black Canary get standards again? She gets all snotty with Poison Ivy because "I said no kiliing". YOUR TEAM-MATES ARE A WOMAN WITH A GUN AND A WOMAN WITH A SWORD (not a Liefeld sword). You know, with an offensive strategy like that there's going to be a number of corpses along the way and indeed there have been SINCE #1. But when OOPS SPOILERS Katana apperently kills Ivy at the end, she barely even gets a telling off. WAY TO PLAY TEACHER'S PET, Dinah.

Blue Beetle #12: Paco is safe after being turned into Blood Beetle (dunno, another evil alium from the beginning of time or something because BB stabbed him through the chest the other week). You want to know how? Really? Are you sure? OK. BECAUSE BB'S SUIT ASKS HIM WWJD. Put this book out of its misery.

Captain Atom #12: Oh god, I can't do this any more. Human Captain Atom has buttsex on the couch with One Hand Captain Atom (IDNSH Trucker Hat) before she gets upset because her other boyfriend - that's the one she had dinner with ONCE, when Human Captain Atom was watching them through the window - has sent her a couple of texts so RUN to the base. Where Human Captain Atom merges with Captain Atom and unwrites the last issue. Then decides he's not human so needs to go and live on the moon. OH WAIT, along the way JT Krul explains the Big Bang Theory. No, really. You know how Dave Sim did it and everybody called him barking? This is even more mental - The Big Bang is just a reboot of the universe, destroying the previous universe in its path AND IF YOU TRAVEL AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT YOU CAN WATCH IT DESTROY THE OLD UNIVERSE. Once you've travelled fast and far enough to get to the edge of it obviously, which by definition must be faster than light. Words fail me. Only #0 to go though.

Catwoman #12: Some dolls get smashed, there's a couple of double crosses and Selina's latino fuckbuddy gets shot. Here's a basic tip in comocs writing though - if you reveal in the text and in vision in the same panel who the bad guy on the other end of the phone is, it just doesn't work. I know you saw it in that Bruce Willis film that time, but trust me it doesn't work when the pictures aren't moving. Apart from that, this is a typical uninspired issue. Not awful, but not any good.

DC Presents #12: Kid Flash fights Hyper-evolved dinosaurs in New York. Well, I say fight, he tries to charm one of them by buying her egg foo yung. Kid Flash is the best thing about Titans and he's great here too - a wisecracking prickly teen like nobody else is writing. Why can't more books be like this?

GLC #12: WHO CARES. But for those of you that do, the Not Manhunter that Guy and John made from bits of leftover manhunter in the last one fails to beat the Alpha Lanterns, but then it turns out that Guy and John have always had the ability to remove thier power batteries, so they commit suicide. The Guardians don't care, because they're too busy thinking about the Third Army. But it looks like they're going to kill Guy in any case, which would make sense for Baz turning up because they're not going to replace John with him now, are they? I sometimes wish I was more into the whole GL thing, then I slap myself round the face and wise up.

Green Lantern #12: And talking of which, blah blah Black Lantern blah blah Blackest Night blah blah Third Army blah blah Yellow Battery blah blah blah. This is so dull that Black Lantern stops and has a wank in an attempt to liven things up. http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8300/7852508766_ac774b30c7_z.jpg

LoSH #12: A slugfest of an issue, but at least Bouncing Boy gets his moment in the sun. It's billed as the "final" battle with the Dominators, but I'll lay CASH MONEY that won't be true. Still for fanboys only though.

Nightwing #12: Policemen trapped in the Gotham sewers after an explosion? Seriously? Does nobody at DC take a corporate view of their product? So, in a COMPLETELY UNFORSEEABLE turn of events it seems that the Penguin is that bad guy in this as well, which could be heading us for another second tier Bat-crossover. HOLY MARKETING, BATMAN!

Red Hood #12: Hooray! A 50 Shades reference! Which makes no sense, as our heroes have been in space since it became a thing which leads us then to the Secret Origin of Arsenal. Roy must be Twilight fanfic guy. I would never have guessed. I'm quite enjoying this as a campy space opera, even if it is a bit hard to follow at times because of the daft names and it does feature The Blight who (presumably are the Tamaran version of The Rot. Or it could just be coincidence.

Supergirl #12: Kara's Fortress Of Solitude turns up under the ocean, having been built in secret by the bad guy from the first couple of issues (last seen in bits in space and being held together with jelly). She doesn't trust Superman any more either because he's not a real Kryptonian according to her, which smacks of Nationalism slightly. I never thought I'd be hankering for the byrne-isms already. A Superbook too far.

Wonder Woman #12: Apollo decides to pretend to be Zeus and reform Olympus, exiling Hera to Earth and mortality. Hermes rescuse Zola from the fighting which is going on, and then steal her baby from under everybody's noses to form a pact with Demeter. BUT NEVER MIND ANY OF THAT, ORION OF NEW GENESIS IS BACK ON THE LAST PAGE. A great book in any case, but suddenly made awesome in four panels.

All-Star Western #12: The Crime Bible/Owls stuff concludes pretty much as you'd expect it to, with extreme violence from Tallulah and some inappropiate sexing. Doctor Jekyll's mate turns up at the end? Is ASW going all LoEG on us? Time will tell, I guess, but I'll still be here as this remains a most solidly entertaining read. The Terrence Thirteen backup is great steampunky science hero stuff, but at two issues of 8 pages is actually about as much of it as I want to read. So good job it's Tomahawk next then.

Dark Knight #12: Scripted in such a way to make the most of Dave Finch having given up everything else, this is mainly a stream of pretty (and some, frankly, not so pretty - the Btaman chained to the bench is pretty awful) [ictures which advances the Scarecrow story pretty slowly but at the end it's clear why - Zero Month has to tie into this so the Scarecrow possibly is only there to enable THAT story. In which case, a let-down.

GL:NG #12: Right, so this is over and they break up at the end. But more new team coming and more Kyle Rayner. The Weaponer, who is obviously not Hawkman, manages to switch off the button which is keeping Invictus out of his statue and he just sort of peters out until Larfleeze stands on him. Who could like this?

I, Vampire #12: The broad comedy in this book continues to work well, especially in this Stormwatch crossover which is the most fun they've been since Warren Ellis stopped writing them. But then at the end Andrew seems to have removed the premise of the book. NOW GET OUT OF THAT.

Justice League Dark #12: A very slow-moving stroll though many new minor DC magic characters and a bit of progression on the Tim Hunter stuff. This Felix Faust arc has been fun but it needs to go somewhere, and taking a month off to tell an untold Constantine/Zatanna story in Zero Month will not help.

Superman #12: Crappy 80s monster of the month issue. But then he tells Superman that he can't know what it's like to grow up alone on an alien planet DO YOU SEE. This makes Clark give up being Superman for the day to go bungee jumping. No, me neither.

Titans #12: Look, let's just make this a romance book and then we'll all be happy. Young Heroes In Love. I would buy the shit out of that. It's the bext thing about this title, except for this month's random backup which is a linking piece around DC Presents #12 and will make no sense to anyone who didn't read it. Change tack. Please? For me?

Flash #12: SYNCHRONICITY ALERT. I mentioned Golden Glider in this month's Batgirl review, and who turns up here? OOOH SPOOKY PSYCHIC "Raeppa redilg nedlog!" The Rogues are at war with Captain Cold. How can this suck? It can't, that's how.

Firestorm #12: All the international Firestorms fight each other, and Indian Firestorm gets blown up by somebody else. Then they have another fight, and the Ronnie Firestorm and Jason Firestorm hold hands and sing Islands In The Stream, which makes Russian Firestorm disappear and then at the end French Firestorm blows up Not Madame Masque, possibly blowing herself up in the process. A new beginning is promised after Zero Month, which almost makes me wonder whether they can make it any good.

Hawkman #12: As if we didn't need any proof of Rob L's lack of ideas, his new villain he introduced in this has a bike like Lobo did in Deathstroke and the dialogue is pretty much identical. So rather than recycling his artwork, he's moved ahead to recycling scripts IN THE SAME MONTH. And this is the guy who struggles to understand why DC might not be fighting about him going. In other news, this is shit. Again.

Voodoo #12: Voodoo escapes Lord Of The Rings by being taken into space by the Blackhawks, and then goes and lives in suburbia. Other Voodoo goes and lives in a cave, and will soon turn up in Grifter. Oh good.

Why non-comics writers shouldn't write about comics:

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7123/7867366280_2fde44c86b_z.jpg

To be fair, the current editorial staff makes that kind of accurate.

gpwm

This looks to be a total mess. Have the sales started to tank yet?

I figure this thing would end up DC Implosion 2: Electric Boogaloo.