Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

Is there any intersection at all between the excellnt Wonder Woman if her own title and the JL version? I can't see how they fit together.

hey aldo, was just reading the popmatters article on the first year (well focusing on JL) which seems to take a very different point of view on the whole experiment,

http://www.popmatters.com/pm/feature/162929-ill-be-rooting-for-you-dcs-grand-popcultural-experiment-one-year-on/

think this, as in yer thread, has been a wildly entertaining and informative endeavor, and frankly far more believable than their take on it, was wondering what you thought

wow, this sounds really lame

“I’ll be rooting for you,” Green Lantern Hal Jordan says as possibly his last words to the Justice League just before he teleports out. There’s a salute, a wry smile, and a glint in his eye. This will be Jordan’s last time leaving the League’s satellite base, you can already sense that even as the teleporter flickers into action. The panels directly preceding this one detail perhaps one of the most heroic moments in the New 52—the League was disgraced by villain David Graves, manipulated into infighting in front of the world’s news cameras. Their credibility in the public eye was shattered. But what if one Leaguer took all the blame? “You don’t have to do this, Lantern,” Batman protested against Jordan’s decision to play the scapegoat. “No,” Jordan replied, “but I should.”

Gut feeling? They haven't read enough of it to judge. They claim the entire universe has been rebooted, for example, despite the fact Green Lantern and Green Lantern Corps haven't. Green Lantern:New Guardians has only been semi-rebooted, in that Kyle Rayner has but everything else in it hasn't. Some of the books have been soft-rebooted again within the 12 months of publishing. Some of them bear no resemblance, and often contradict the other books being published - Wonder Woman being a standout example. And, most heinous of all, it holds Geoff Johns up as a good writer. Probably the biggest problem with the Justice League as it stands in the JL book, for example, is that Cyborg is established in the first plot as being overpowered compared to everyone else.

I was going to do a year end analysis myself, but I suspect that concluding that over 20% of their titles are still worth reading is maybe a better hit rate than they've enjoyed for a large number of years.

think this, as in yer thread, has been a wildly entertaining and informative endeavor

agreed! your pain is really our gain, aldo

tbh I have always been a secret Cyborg fanboy so I don't really have a problem with Cyborg being overpowered

No results found for "cyborg domination slash".

aldo, you are the best.

Action Comics #0: Very nice and all, but am I alone in thinking this is utterly pointless? We get the story of Superman's t-shirts (told a couple of issues ago in the Solly Fisch backup), the story of Clark's landlady and Mxyzptlk (told in the main feature last month) and an inconsequential little story about the cape maybe having some of the powers in it rather than in Supes. Throw in an admission by Clark to Jimmy that he only started working at the Planet to get close to Lois and a throwaway couple of panels giving the SHOCKING SECRET ORIGIN OF NU-JIMMY OLSEN. The backup is just confusing. It tells an old story of the threat which was fully explained in the main title over the past couple of months. Does that mean Adam is coming back? Is the Planet Cuckoo plot ongoing because, you know, it seemed kind of final and closed? How does this square with GMoz going in a couple of months? GET ME AN EDITOR FOR THE WHOLE LINE.

Animal Man #0: Right, in short the plot is this: Arcane/The Rot are too powerful and Kill Animal Man/the Red Avatar. The Red discuss things and know Maxine is supposed to be the new avatar (even though she isn't conceived at that point) so send the GMoz aliens to operate on Buddy and make him a stop-gap. Ellen doesn't get to grips with the new Buddy, especially when she becomes pregnant with Maxine 6 months later. Arcane/The Rot then decide that although they know she's the real chosen one and it would be really easy to wipe her out as a foetus it's far more beneficial to allow her to live and be the centre of a crossover event which will make DC lots of money. Which for me raises this question - what are the GMoz aliens actually for and why do The Red have them if the only time they have used them is the one time they've been forced into botching a stop-gap avatar because their next one (who doesn't need operated on) doesn't exist yet? I feel like we need a "The Tailors" #0. But don't get ideas. I wouldn't buy it.

Batwing #0: You know what's handy about UNSPEAKABLE ACTS? You can't show them, or even talk about them because they are UNSPEAKABLE. This is somewhat of a drawback in an origin issue. Ultimately, David gets a thrill out of dressing up and beating up criminals. Part of this is because he was disgusted when a fellow police officer offered him a bribe at a crime scene. This didn't stop him from accepting it, or make him leave the police force, just made him dress up and be violent. Despite this, Bats likes him and gives him everything he wants. CONSORTING WITH CRIMINALS, EH BRUCE? He could probably have afforded to buy all the stuff with the cash he's creaming off during his day job. So what's he spending it on? Eh? EH? Inquiring minds want to know, Winick.

Detective #0: I am now completely confused as to who buys this shit. Oh wait, it's me, isn't it. Crap. In the first story, we learn how Bruce had all the emotion driven out of his heart in the Himalayan monastery, including having the girl he fancied murdered for money by her own family to prove that everyone is scum. In the second story he returns to Wayne Manor because he loves Alfred so much and immediately tells him everything about how he wants to be Batman. They obviously didn't teach discretion at the monastery.

Dial H #0: Awesome. What would happen if we had an ancient Eqyptian Dial H, complete with giant stone sun-dial dial and modern-era heroes. A women who can fly in her fairground dodgem car? CHECK, MOTHERFUCKER. And if an entertaining story wasn't enough, we actually get a bit more plot as to how the dials work and the consequences of using them. Top, top stuff.

Earth 2 #0: So, a past tale of the Justice League of Earth 2 prior to EVERYTHING that the Earth 2 book has been doing to date. And is going to be continued in Earth 2 #5. So, a reboot of the book then. Which came from a reboot (post-cancellation) of Mr Terrific. Who hasn't really featured in it since #1. Who is the secret Justice League member he isn't mentioning? Who cares.

GI Combat #0: The Unknown Soldier part of this is pretty good. We find out (possibly) that there have been Unknown Soldiers through history, providing a mystic dimension, or it could just all be a drug hallucination. Does the museum even exist? "You're really into this, aren't you?" says a crow. Yes, yes I am. Do you need me to tell you that the JT Krul segment is shite? "Couldn't rest. Couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep." COULDN'T WRITE, MORE LIKE.

Green Lantern #0: OH GOD, GEOFF JOHNS, JUST FUCKING STOP WITH THE SADFACE. Page 1, Panel 5. We get this image:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8316/7976087678_063910ed15_z.jpg

PANEL FUCKING 5. An Arab family in Michigan are watching 9/11. The next day, some people write 'Arabs go home' on their community centre. Five years later, a girl gets teased by some boys. In 2011, a guy gets searched in an airport. This turns Baz into a suicide bomber. BY PAGE 3. But by accident though, because he was only being a thief. This doesn't stop him getting Guantanamoed by people who doubt he's American because he doesn't have an American name. Despite the fact their names are Valdez and Fed (which is a common British surname, according to Johns). And Agent Fed is doing this BECAUSE HIS SON DIED IN 9/11. Stop, please. I can't decide whether this is the funniest thing I've ever read, or the craziest. I can't understand what Geoff Johns' point is. More to the point, I can't understand WHY THE FUCK A COMISSIONING EDITOR THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA. In the end, he gets rescued from Waterboarding Death by Sinestro/Hal Jordan's ring after they went off into blackness at the end of the GL Annual. This is bound to end well, obviously.

Green Arrow #0: Judd Winick writes the 'playboy Ollie gets dumped on a deserted island and learns to shoot' story. In the Johnsiverse, playboy Ollie gets dumped on a deserted island and learns to shoot. It's as essential a read as that makes it sound.

Phantom Stranger #0: Ok. An origin issue for a title not being published. Which DC have always shied from telling the origin of, given that would remove all the mystery from a character whose only power is... mystery. Written by Dan DiDio. On about page 5 we get shown the three "greatest transgressors mankind has ever known". Hitler? Stalin? Pol Pot? Idi Amin? Ghengis Kahn? Vlad The Impaler? No. A ginger bloke who looks a bit like Guy Gardner, a woman in a cloak (who looks pretty much like Countdown woman) and the guy who becomes the Stranger (whose transgression is avarice causing him to betray his mate). He then pleads to the wizard to forgive him, like Jesus would have done. My head hurts. In the actual story, the Stranger thinks he can stop being the Stranger by turning Jim Corrigan into The Spectre. He does, but then the spooky voice goes back on his promise. CURSE YOU, SPOOKY VOICE! JESUS WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT (PROBABLY)!

Stormwatch #0: Oh you're kidding me. AT-ATs controlled by dolphins? Jenny Quantum is really the force behind Demon Knights? And then she became a nun so she could have sex with Merlin, because he only has sex with nuns. Then the Demon Knights fight the Daemonites, and are forced to change their name to avoid Dark Ages confusion over homophones. Unreadable, really.

Swamp Thing #0: Having slagged off the other books for retelling stories that didn't need retold, and shoehorning in crossovers, I am eating my words. Scott Snyder takes the well-worn story of how Alec Holland becomes the Swamp Thing and retells it changing only ONE detail (which I'm not going to spoil for you if you haven't read it). In doing so he links it into Rotworld and Animal Man #0 effortlessly and still tells a cracking story in the process. Victory from what should be, if you'd described it beforehand, the jaws of defeat.

World's Finest #0: Basically, how Helena and Kara meet on Earth 2. But ultimately this takes the bits I've been enjoying of World's Finest (the Levitz/Maguire bits) and gives us 20 pages of it. Which is nice. Good stuff, but inessential frippery really.

Dial H is easily the best thing I'm reading right now

It's easily the best thing DC are publishing right now.

It's better than anything Marvel is publishing too.

Bizarrely-to-my-20-year-previous-self-but-I've-learned-to-come-to-terms-with-it, the only thing I'm enjoying as much is from Image - Brandon Graham's Prophet.

Let's face it, it's the best comic pretty much anybody has put out for some time.

I would actually encourage anybody who can get a free read of GL#0 to do so. It's maybe the worst thing I've read in years.

I let out a large guffaw on the bus when I saw that panel, which probably is super inappropriate today

Haha, I didn't even notice today's date. That maybe makes it more Johnsface.

http://www.crisisoninfinitemidlives.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/facepalm_green_lantern.jpg

prophet is pretty amazing

Let's face it, it's the best comic pretty much anybody has put out for some time.

I'm not reading it (am happily buying Prophet every month though) but better than Snarked, Beasts Of Burden, Reset, Thickness, I Want You, Zegas, Lose, TDTMY Thrizzle and Pope Hats?

I have no idea, I haven't read any of those

I've read Snarked and Reset, and as much as I love both Langridge and Bagge, it's better. Beasts of Burden is that Dorkin/Thompson book? The one issue I read of that was horrid. Zegas has what, 2 issues in as many years? Same with Thrizzle and Pope Hats. No clue about the others you mentioned.

How about "the best comic pretty much anybody has put out for some time that appears monthly or bi-monthly or even semi-regularly"

since I have to internationally mail-order any of those past the first three, monthly would be a huge detriment

will read an issue in the shop though and check it out

(Lose is Michel DeForge's "main" book, on Koyama, but let's face it his output is high enough to do at least a bimonthly; Thickness is Brandon Graham and DeForge and homies doing sex stories; I Want You is Lisa Hanawalt's book on Sammy Harkham's new imprint and I've only seen one issue but it was so mindfuckingly great I would read it two pages at a time and put it down)

Thanks for the heads up as to what those others are. The Hanawalt I'm definitely gonna check out.

BECAUSE SUPERHEROS MAKE SUCH EXCELLENT SCAPEGOATS.

Why are you even reading that drivel? That only works in VERY SERIOUS Batman movies.

DIAL H is still pretty good, but A) it's not in the 52 and B) its sales are plummeting like a rock.

I'm down to just ACTION and that won' t be for long.

If Dial H isn't in The New 52, why does it have a "The New 52!" banner at the top of each issue?

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2012/05/02/dial-h_240.jpg

Yeah, it was the flagship book of wave 2 of the Johnsiverse.

I stand corrected.

Still, it doesn't feel like anything else they're putting out at the moment. Which, I suppose, is why it's good.

Oh man, getting off topic but I googled for more Brandon Graham stuff and let me just say that I must get the comic this appears in: http://www.tcj.com/the-top-30-minicomics-of-2011/brandon-graham-thickness-2-p-1-2/

Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

I tried Dial H #4 in the shop and it was completely impenetrable (with one good two-panel joke [that I only barely got bcz I had read some old Dial H reprints in the back of local Teen Titans reprints in the 80s])

Huh, I never considered that it might actually have anything to do with any previous incarnation.

But yes, 1 is the starting number. Or 0!

I read Dial H #1 but it didn't too much for me (and i'm a fan of some of Mieville's other work). Will probably pick up the trade though

are the characters in the new Dial H still created by the readers, cos that was def the best thing abt the older versions:

http://www.sequentialellison.com/bibliography/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=800&g2_serialNumber=2

awesome

that was the one joke I got, a character that seemed dumb/awesome enough to have been sent in by a child

(a faucet-shaped superhero called Tap-Out)

I'm embarrassed to admit I really enjoyed the GL annual and #0 issues, although the heart-ripping stuff was kind of STOP THAT NOW. I mean, it was all kinds of crap, but the comic book kind of crap that's actually okay.

I might have felt differently if I'd paid for them, natch.

I have read elsewhere that it is supposed to be OBVIOUS that the Phantom Stranger is Judas and that he's forced to wear Jesus' cloak for eternity as penance. Seeing what he did described as one of the greatest transgressions in history, which he's to be punished for all time for, appears to take sides on one of theology's greatest questions.

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/line9-13-10.jpg

I'm not sure if "Gay now" should've been there (is it supposed to be a complaint or observation?), but this is still pretty funny.

Hahaha

that's kinda great.

yeah that's good, and Alan Scott's being "gay now" is for dumb enough reasons that it's a notable observation

Batgirl #0: In a textbook case of MISSING THE POINT, Gail Simone uses an origin issue to side-step the story that still has to be told (how Babs got her groove back after The Killing Joke) and instead gives us a story about how she first put on a Bat-suit. Skirting past the obvious new continuity problems the script causes (so James Jr now knows she's Batgirl, right?), this is just an indulgent episode of Gail's teen-feminism schtick - the bad guy who forces her into the suit for the first time may or may not be exploiting Eastern European teenage girls into prostitution and/or murder (I say may not as he's rescued by a group of young girls who seem in his thrall, because as we know in Gail's universe only women have the ability to be real characters in the plot), Babs puts on the suit because she has to protect her little brother because she's the 'woman of the house' since their dad left, Babs is secretly in love with her dad, Babs uses her feminine wiles to get to see things she shouldn't be able to because she is naturally more clever than everything else because they're only men DO YOU SEE. It's utterly wearying and it's a blessed relief when the last page turns up. Even if it does tease The Killing Joke. Then the Who's Who page directly contradicts what we've just seen. How much do DC's editors get paid?

Batman #0: Basically, a rooftop conversation between Bruce and Gordon where Gordon lets him know he thinks he's the new vigilante running about. But it's definitely much more - the Red Hood bank job is clearly a nod back to the original, and may link into a Joker origin in coming months. Snyder has talked/trailed something that could be a Death In The Family reboot so it makes sense that he would build it from the ground up. A good, solid filler then with a backup story that basically gives us the origins of all the Johnsiverse Robins in 6 pages. Compact and efficient storytelling definitely has a place in the New DC and more writers could learn from this short piece.

Batman & Robin #0: I guess this is just a retelling of GMoz's version of Damian's childhood with Talia, but you know what the problem is with this? This image:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8174/7991612660_70bf5e55f9_z.jpg

Cute, yes, but if he's 10 at the time he meets Batman (on the final page) and he's about 2 or 3 in that picture then Talia had a Batman suit at least three years BEFORE BRUCE BECAME BATMAN. Sort it out, please. Somebody?

Deathstroke #0: The first thing we can gather from this is that Rob's seen Captain America: The First Avenger because he's ripped off the plot totally for this. Although the US Army hasn't changed between WWII and whenever this is supposed to be set (although it actually does refer to WWII, so maybe they're all time travellers as well). I love the idea that someone tries to kill Deathstroke's wife and son and this sole act (despite the fact she knows what he does for a living, and was in the Army, and was a key part of running the super-soldier programme and Team 7, and trained Deathstroke in the first place although "birthing two children had slowed me down") is enough for the two of them to become anti-Deathstroke super-villains. But where Rob really pulls it out of the bag here is with his artwork. I could paste almost every page, but let's look at some of the best ever versions of the best ever Rob tropes:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8308/7991761545_3c246ac341_o.jpg

Can anybody work out where this woman's hips are?

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8444/7991761483_e32e826ecf_o.jpg

It's a mutant baby! Look at the shape of it's head! (Actually, there is other visual evidence on the same page that Rob's model was Uatu The Watcher.)

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8317/7991771690_2071773664_o.jpg

A gun with no trigger. Or, as we call it, a stick.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8170/7991771606_d40723e44d.jpg

Weird torso lines, stretchy groin, heroic poses, what Rob thinks US Army issued boots look like.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8171/7991761103_2806ccca72.jpg

Gun with trigger but missing fingers. Swords, pouches, bad feet. Oh, and a missing leg.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8319/7991771150_f16e291023_o.jpg

Someone being shot by said gun. Which is where? Deathstroke's hands are nearly through the guy's back, never mind the gun.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8031/7991771082_3aa9347d13.jpg

Heroic floating and/or invisible platform.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8447/7991771300_8ab4243b90.jpg

Deathstroke's cameltoe bends the rules of perspective.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8031/7991760947_5ee4dfe38d.jpg

Where to start. Extra finger, no gun butt, no sense of how projectile weapons work.

INVISIBLE MOTORBIKE.

I'd love to think this is a big fuck you from Rob to DiDio. But the real truth is he's been able to become a millionaire and draws as badly as this. A lesson for all of us.

Demon Knights #0: Hmm. Etrigan was now one of the great demons of Hell, who basically only got that way because Lucifer took the piss out of his speech impediment. Well, that's a retelling and a half. Still, it's well written and consistent with the book as it's written in the Johnsiverse. Which makes it head and shoulders above most of the rest of this shite.

Frankenstein #0: Frankenstein is explained as the actual Frankenstein's monster from the book, only with Victor as a LoEG type chap and some Aztec/Mayan type Amazon Indians having told him the secret to being alive. That makes it all so much better then, doesn't it. Or at least it does when you punch it. That's makes everything great.

GLC #0: Guy Gardner got picked as a Green Lantern because he's a dick, it appears. Did we really need 20 pages of comics to tell us that? Plus he has daddy issues. Like everyone else in the Johnsiverse. Still, his jacket shows he's a rebel and a biker. No, really, he willed it into being solely for that reason. Makes you glad to be alive, doesn't it?

Grifter #0: VERY NEARLY CONTENT-FREE. A couple of panels per page very nearly tells the story of how Grifter forgot he was Daemonite Jesus and ended up in #1. I say nearly, because this wins the award of laziest book Rob Liefeld ever did for DC. And that's some claim.

Legion Lost #0: Timber Wolf's origin is the same as it was before. So this is 20 pages of telling a story we've heard before. Which probably makes sense as the origin of Legion Lost was in #1 and retelling the same story within a year is probably taking the piss slightly too much. Although that hasn't stopped Rob L.

Resurrection Man #0: THE END. It turns out Deathstroke did it. (Not really, it turns out that like in Doctor Who there was a spare arm that had the same sort of healing abilities as the main body and then ended up becoming a thing all of its own - although in this case it had actual magic powers and a whole different personality). A magic demon turns up and kills bad Mitch then transports good mitch to a detective's office where he can work with some other people from the SUPER SECRET BASE as detectives in the future if it ever gets renewed. Unlikely as that seems.

Suicide Squad #0: Contains no actual Suicide Squad content. The story of how The Wall left Team 7, which somehow (with no explanation) gives her the inspiration to start the Squad. It's competently enough written (although the differing height of her top means there is often BEWB/NO BEWB contradiction between panels on the same page) but not what it's supposed to be.

Superboy #0: Since the origin of this Superboy was told over the first three or four issues of the series, so instead we get a story about how Kryptonians were always building clones to do their domestic work and they revolted so it isn't really surprising that this one (being the first Kryptonian/human hybrid) was born with Universe-punching tendencies. And he has a big secret about who the human DNA has come from, but OH NOES THEY GUY WHO IS TELLING HIM IS DEADED! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand we've run out of plot so let's reprint some of the stuff from the first 4 books to pad it out. Despite this, a pretty engaging and fun read.

Team 7 #0: Having had their living story told in Deathstroke #0 and Suicide Squad #0, we now get their founding story. In short, they were set up as DC's version of The Boys at the time of Justice League #1 or thereabouts. We can tell this for two reasons - there's an image of Superman in costume which makes it post-Action, and there's a helpful caption which tells us it's 5 years ago. I'm sure it's not going to be like The Boys, but it has an identical concept. But that isn't the problem. The problem is the people who are in Team 7. We get Waller and Deathstroke. We get Grifter, the old Justice Society Black Canary (plus the guy who she must get married to between this and the start of Birds of Prey) and three new characters. The fittest and best of these, who is stronger and fitter than anyone else in Team 7 according to the dialogue, will be the one that ends up in a mecha suit. Obviously. But that isn't my biggest problem with the title. Which is that Fairchild's dad is there as well, and makes
reference to the fact she wants to be a doctor but is clearly a child from the way he talks about her. So how does she manage to become a successful doctor in charge of a secret programme in five short years? Really, who knows. We've had a time-travelling bat cloak already this month.

Ravagers #0: Or, how Beast Boy and Terra came to be in the Johnsiverse. Fairly predictably, it turns out they were genetic experiments by Harvest - the bad guy we've already forgotten about from The Culling, which we've already forgotten about as well - and the success of these two give him the idea for the whole of his Ravagers/Culling thing. But somewhat inevitably it turns out all his genetic tinkering did was awoke Beast Boy's connection with The Red which means he is an avatar of sorts. STOP IT. RIGHT NOW. This contradicts everything you've just told us in Animal Man, and also means if this doesn't cross over into Rot World (which it doesn't) that neither The Red or The Rot are very attentive. Although probably moreso than DC editors. I mean the Who's Who bit at the end has Fairchild as a doctor in N.O.W.H.E.R.E. at this point, meaning Team 7 #0 doesn't take place when it's supposed to do. MY KINGDOM FOR AN EDITOR.

AAAARGH

This is the INVISIBLE MOTORBIKE:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8435/7991761245_996eaf6aa5.jpg

Cute, yes, but if he's 10 at the time he meets Batman (on the final page) and he's about 2 or 3 in that picture then Talia had a Batman suit at least three years BEFORE BRUCE BECAME BATMAN. Sort it out, please. Somebody?

ha ha ha ha oh nu52-paws

the Liefeld art becomes more amazing when you see that blog that shows how every second panel is a straight swipe from the Perez vers

seriously, I've had no interest in Deathstroke whatsoever but everything I read about Liefeld's version just seems to be the funniest thing

also what kind of shambles must DC editorial be in if they managed to chase Rob away?

Oh god, I just looked at that blog. In a way, I guess it's good that the comics industry keeps giving Liefeld work. God only knows how his sociopathic tendencies would manifest otherwise.

Pretty much every witness account I've read says Leifeld's a chill and good-natured dude in real life. Sure he's a talentless hack and a swiper, but I don't see how that equates with "sociopathic tendencies"?

Those swipes are stunning. Wow.