Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

I have no idea, I haven't read any of those

I've read Snarked and Reset, and as much as I love both Langridge and Bagge, it's better. Beasts of Burden is that Dorkin/Thompson book? The one issue I read of that was horrid. Zegas has what, 2 issues in as many years? Same with Thrizzle and Pope Hats. No clue about the others you mentioned.

How about "the best comic pretty much anybody has put out for some time that appears monthly or bi-monthly or even semi-regularly"

since I have to internationally mail-order any of those past the first three, monthly would be a huge detriment

will read an issue in the shop though and check it out

(Lose is Michel DeForge's "main" book, on Koyama, but let's face it his output is high enough to do at least a bimonthly; Thickness is Brandon Graham and DeForge and homies doing sex stories; I Want You is Lisa Hanawalt's book on Sammy Harkham's new imprint and I've only seen one issue but it was so mindfuckingly great I would read it two pages at a time and put it down)

Thanks for the heads up as to what those others are. The Hanawalt I'm definitely gonna check out.

BECAUSE SUPERHEROS MAKE SUCH EXCELLENT SCAPEGOATS.

Why are you even reading that drivel? That only works in VERY SERIOUS Batman movies.

DIAL H is still pretty good, but A) it's not in the 52 and B) its sales are plummeting like a rock.

I'm down to just ACTION and that won' t be for long.

If Dial H isn't in The New 52, why does it have a "The New 52!" banner at the top of each issue?

http://img2.timeinc.net/ew/i/2012/05/02/dial-h_240.jpg

Yeah, it was the flagship book of wave 2 of the Johnsiverse.

I stand corrected.

Still, it doesn't feel like anything else they're putting out at the moment. Which, I suppose, is why it's good.

Oh man, getting off topic but I googled for more Brandon Graham stuff and let me just say that I must get the comic this appears in: http://www.tcj.com/the-top-30-minicomics-of-2011/brandon-graham-thickness-2-p-1-2/

Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

I tried Dial H #4 in the shop and it was completely impenetrable (with one good two-panel joke [that I only barely got bcz I had read some old Dial H reprints in the back of local Teen Titans reprints in the 80s])

Huh, I never considered that it might actually have anything to do with any previous incarnation.

But yes, 1 is the starting number. Or 0!

I read Dial H #1 but it didn't too much for me (and i'm a fan of some of Mieville's other work). Will probably pick up the trade though

are the characters in the new Dial H still created by the readers, cos that was def the best thing abt the older versions:

http://www.sequentialellison.com/bibliography/gallery/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=800&g2_serialNumber=2

awesome

that was the one joke I got, a character that seemed dumb/awesome enough to have been sent in by a child

(a faucet-shaped superhero called Tap-Out)

I'm embarrassed to admit I really enjoyed the GL annual and #0 issues, although the heart-ripping stuff was kind of STOP THAT NOW. I mean, it was all kinds of crap, but the comic book kind of crap that's actually okay.

I might have felt differently if I'd paid for them, natch.

I have read elsewhere that it is supposed to be OBVIOUS that the Phantom Stranger is Judas and that he's forced to wear Jesus' cloak for eternity as penance. Seeing what he did described as one of the greatest transgressions in history, which he's to be punished for all time for, appears to take sides on one of theology's greatest questions.

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/line9-13-10.jpg

I'm not sure if "Gay now" should've been there (is it supposed to be a complaint or observation?), but this is still pretty funny.

Hahaha

that's kinda great.

yeah that's good, and Alan Scott's being "gay now" is for dumb enough reasons that it's a notable observation

Batgirl #0: In a textbook case of MISSING THE POINT, Gail Simone uses an origin issue to side-step the story that still has to be told (how Babs got her groove back after The Killing Joke) and instead gives us a story about how she first put on a Bat-suit. Skirting past the obvious new continuity problems the script causes (so James Jr now knows she's Batgirl, right?), this is just an indulgent episode of Gail's teen-feminism schtick - the bad guy who forces her into the suit for the first time may or may not be exploiting Eastern European teenage girls into prostitution and/or murder (I say may not as he's rescued by a group of young girls who seem in his thrall, because as we know in Gail's universe only women have the ability to be real characters in the plot), Babs puts on the suit because she has to protect her little brother because she's the 'woman of the house' since their dad left, Babs is secretly in love with her dad, Babs uses her feminine wiles to get to see things she shouldn't be able to because she is naturally more clever than everything else because they're only men DO YOU SEE. It's utterly wearying and it's a blessed relief when the last page turns up. Even if it does tease The Killing Joke. Then the Who's Who page directly contradicts what we've just seen. How much do DC's editors get paid?

Batman #0: Basically, a rooftop conversation between Bruce and Gordon where Gordon lets him know he thinks he's the new vigilante running about. But it's definitely much more - the Red Hood bank job is clearly a nod back to the original, and may link into a Joker origin in coming months. Snyder has talked/trailed something that could be a Death In The Family reboot so it makes sense that he would build it from the ground up. A good, solid filler then with a backup story that basically gives us the origins of all the Johnsiverse Robins in 6 pages. Compact and efficient storytelling definitely has a place in the New DC and more writers could learn from this short piece.

Batman & Robin #0: I guess this is just a retelling of GMoz's version of Damian's childhood with Talia, but you know what the problem is with this? This image:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8174/7991612660_70bf5e55f9_z.jpg

Cute, yes, but if he's 10 at the time he meets Batman (on the final page) and he's about 2 or 3 in that picture then Talia had a Batman suit at least three years BEFORE BRUCE BECAME BATMAN. Sort it out, please. Somebody?

Deathstroke #0: The first thing we can gather from this is that Rob's seen Captain America: The First Avenger because he's ripped off the plot totally for this. Although the US Army hasn't changed between WWII and whenever this is supposed to be set (although it actually does refer to WWII, so maybe they're all time travellers as well). I love the idea that someone tries to kill Deathstroke's wife and son and this sole act (despite the fact she knows what he does for a living, and was in the Army, and was a key part of running the super-soldier programme and Team 7, and trained Deathstroke in the first place although "birthing two children had slowed me down") is enough for the two of them to become anti-Deathstroke super-villains. But where Rob really pulls it out of the bag here is with his artwork. I could paste almost every page, but let's look at some of the best ever versions of the best ever Rob tropes:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8308/7991761545_3c246ac341_o.jpg

Can anybody work out where this woman's hips are?

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8444/7991761483_e32e826ecf_o.jpg

It's a mutant baby! Look at the shape of it's head! (Actually, there is other visual evidence on the same page that Rob's model was Uatu The Watcher.)

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8317/7991771690_2071773664_o.jpg

A gun with no trigger. Or, as we call it, a stick.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8170/7991771606_d40723e44d.jpg

Weird torso lines, stretchy groin, heroic poses, what Rob thinks US Army issued boots look like.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8171/7991761103_2806ccca72.jpg

Gun with trigger but missing fingers. Swords, pouches, bad feet. Oh, and a missing leg.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8319/7991771150_f16e291023_o.jpg

Someone being shot by said gun. Which is where? Deathstroke's hands are nearly through the guy's back, never mind the gun.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8031/7991771082_3aa9347d13.jpg

Heroic floating and/or invisible platform.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8447/7991771300_8ab4243b90.jpg

Deathstroke's cameltoe bends the rules of perspective.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8031/7991760947_5ee4dfe38d.jpg

Where to start. Extra finger, no gun butt, no sense of how projectile weapons work.

INVISIBLE MOTORBIKE.

I'd love to think this is a big fuck you from Rob to DiDio. But the real truth is he's been able to become a millionaire and draws as badly as this. A lesson for all of us.

Demon Knights #0: Hmm. Etrigan was now one of the great demons of Hell, who basically only got that way because Lucifer took the piss out of his speech impediment. Well, that's a retelling and a half. Still, it's well written and consistent with the book as it's written in the Johnsiverse. Which makes it head and shoulders above most of the rest of this shite.

Frankenstein #0: Frankenstein is explained as the actual Frankenstein's monster from the book, only with Victor as a LoEG type chap and some Aztec/Mayan type Amazon Indians having told him the secret to being alive. That makes it all so much better then, doesn't it. Or at least it does when you punch it. That's makes everything great.

GLC #0: Guy Gardner got picked as a Green Lantern because he's a dick, it appears. Did we really need 20 pages of comics to tell us that? Plus he has daddy issues. Like everyone else in the Johnsiverse. Still, his jacket shows he's a rebel and a biker. No, really, he willed it into being solely for that reason. Makes you glad to be alive, doesn't it?

Grifter #0: VERY NEARLY CONTENT-FREE. A couple of panels per page very nearly tells the story of how Grifter forgot he was Daemonite Jesus and ended up in #1. I say nearly, because this wins the award of laziest book Rob Liefeld ever did for DC. And that's some claim.

Legion Lost #0: Timber Wolf's origin is the same as it was before. So this is 20 pages of telling a story we've heard before. Which probably makes sense as the origin of Legion Lost was in #1 and retelling the same story within a year is probably taking the piss slightly too much. Although that hasn't stopped Rob L.

Resurrection Man #0: THE END. It turns out Deathstroke did it. (Not really, it turns out that like in Doctor Who there was a spare arm that had the same sort of healing abilities as the main body and then ended up becoming a thing all of its own - although in this case it had actual magic powers and a whole different personality). A magic demon turns up and kills bad Mitch then transports good mitch to a detective's office where he can work with some other people from the SUPER SECRET BASE as detectives in the future if it ever gets renewed. Unlikely as that seems.

Suicide Squad #0: Contains no actual Suicide Squad content. The story of how The Wall left Team 7, which somehow (with no explanation) gives her the inspiration to start the Squad. It's competently enough written (although the differing height of her top means there is often BEWB/NO BEWB contradiction between panels on the same page) but not what it's supposed to be.

Superboy #0: Since the origin of this Superboy was told over the first three or four issues of the series, so instead we get a story about how Kryptonians were always building clones to do their domestic work and they revolted so it isn't really surprising that this one (being the first Kryptonian/human hybrid) was born with Universe-punching tendencies. And he has a big secret about who the human DNA has come from, but OH NOES THEY GUY WHO IS TELLING HIM IS DEADED! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand we've run out of plot so let's reprint some of the stuff from the first 4 books to pad it out. Despite this, a pretty engaging and fun read.

Team 7 #0: Having had their living story told in Deathstroke #0 and Suicide Squad #0, we now get their founding story. In short, they were set up as DC's version of The Boys at the time of Justice League #1 or thereabouts. We can tell this for two reasons - there's an image of Superman in costume which makes it post-Action, and there's a helpful caption which tells us it's 5 years ago. I'm sure it's not going to be like The Boys, but it has an identical concept. But that isn't the problem. The problem is the people who are in Team 7. We get Waller and Deathstroke. We get Grifter, the old Justice Society Black Canary (plus the guy who she must get married to between this and the start of Birds of Prey) and three new characters. The fittest and best of these, who is stronger and fitter than anyone else in Team 7 according to the dialogue, will be the one that ends up in a mecha suit. Obviously. But that isn't my biggest problem with the title. Which is that Fairchild's dad is there as well, and makes
reference to the fact she wants to be a doctor but is clearly a child from the way he talks about her. So how does she manage to become a successful doctor in charge of a secret programme in five short years? Really, who knows. We've had a time-travelling bat cloak already this month.

Ravagers #0: Or, how Beast Boy and Terra came to be in the Johnsiverse. Fairly predictably, it turns out they were genetic experiments by Harvest - the bad guy we've already forgotten about from The Culling, which we've already forgotten about as well - and the success of these two give him the idea for the whole of his Ravagers/Culling thing. But somewhat inevitably it turns out all his genetic tinkering did was awoke Beast Boy's connection with The Red which means he is an avatar of sorts. STOP IT. RIGHT NOW. This contradicts everything you've just told us in Animal Man, and also means if this doesn't cross over into Rot World (which it doesn't) that neither The Red or The Rot are very attentive. Although probably moreso than DC editors. I mean the Who's Who bit at the end has Fairchild as a doctor in N.O.W.H.E.R.E. at this point, meaning Team 7 #0 doesn't take place when it's supposed to do. MY KINGDOM FOR AN EDITOR.

AAAARGH

This is the INVISIBLE MOTORBIKE:

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8435/7991761245_996eaf6aa5.jpg

Cute, yes, but if he's 10 at the time he meets Batman (on the final page) and he's about 2 or 3 in that picture then Talia had a Batman suit at least three years BEFORE BRUCE BECAME BATMAN. Sort it out, please. Somebody?

ha ha ha ha oh nu52-paws

the Liefeld art becomes more amazing when you see that blog that shows how every second panel is a straight swipe from the Perez vers

seriously, I've had no interest in Deathstroke whatsoever but everything I read about Liefeld's version just seems to be the funniest thing

also what kind of shambles must DC editorial be in if they managed to chase Rob away?

Oh god, I just looked at that blog. In a way, I guess it's good that the comics industry keeps giving Liefeld work. God only knows how his sociopathic tendencies would manifest otherwise.

Pretty much every witness account I've read says Leifeld's a chill and good-natured dude in real life. Sure he's a talentless hack and a swiper, but I don't see how that equates with "sociopathic tendencies"?

Those swipes are stunning. Wow.

the staggering lack of self-awareness combined with the cheerful demeanor points to something

xxpost

The dude is the Carlos Mencia of the comics world. I'm no clinician, but yeah, I think there's a personality disorder of some kind at work. Although the industry is inarguably complicit, so the onus isn't on him entirely.

I don't think "figuring out how to make googobs of money for the least amount of effort possible" is a personality disorder

I would imagine that meeting and talking to Liefeld in 2012 is nearly the same experience as doing so in 1990, he seems like a pretty consistent dude. Also, friendly and charismatic?

I don't think all of Rob's ideas are terrible; I mean he created Deadpool*. It's just... he can't execute on them. Every great character he's had a hand in creating has been made great by other people writing them.

* would also namecheck Cable, Feral, Shatterstar and a few others but I know they have massive detractor bases; I think Deadpool is his biggest unambiguous "success"

xpost

The fact that we live in a society (and that Liefeld works in an industry) that so often rewards sociopathic behavior doesn't make those tendencies any less pathological.

but... wasn't his Deadpool not nearly as jokey and was just another dude shooting at crap after the introduction of Cable? I think all the characterization came later.

I really don't think being a smiley terrible artist is sociopathic behavior

but... wasn't his Deadpool not nearly as jokey and was just another dude shooting at crap after the introduction of Cable? I think all the characterization came later.

hence "he can't execute"

will say though that Deadpool is easily his best character design (even if it's sort of "hey if I draw Spiderman like THIS he looks like a cool merc")

I was going to say, I thought the design was purely Spider-Man + Deathstroke minus any nuances in the costume and a bunch of pockets and pouches added

I just have to say, Shazam the fuck? How do you take classic, iconic Shazam and fuck him up this badly? I didn't read it, but just flipping through it hurt my brain. Head to toe pile of suck. Those boots! The hoodie cape! UGH!

Batwoman #0: Kate's childhood and path to becoming Batwoman told in a momentary flashback during the death of Beth in one of the previous issues. It's entertaining enough, if very wordy (which in itself is one fo the inherent problems because, well, there's a more pressing reason for buying JH Williams books) but it just feels desperately unoriginal. It's a story I feel like I've read 1000 times before and don't feel I need to read again at the end of the day. Blah blah overbearing military father blah blah badly chosen life partners blah blah substance abuse - how is it different from Roy Harper's story, for example? Inessential.

Birds Of Prey #0: Welcome back, our old friend CONTINUITY. So, the Penguin's floating ice casino - WHICH ONLY APPEARED IN GOTHAM AFTER THE JOHNSIVERSE STARTED (which is why we saw the gala opening) - was around before the Johnsiverse started and was sufficiently famous for both Black Canary and Batgirl to investigate independently. So we understand why Dinah and Babs are mates, but how does Eve/Starling fit into the picture? Oh aye, she was put on the not-yet-invented floating casino by Amanda Waller to infiltrate it and break it up (so that's now THREE separate strands of investigation into something that doesn't exist yet) and is staying with Dinah because Waller tells her to. Presumably because of some unfinished Team 7 business. A team which, let's not forget, according to Suicide Squad #0 Waller left voluntarily but on relatively good terms and according to Team 7 #0 worked well. Even the Who's Who chapter at the bank doesn't illuminate, it just says Team 7 broke up mysteriously. Although it didn't, if you read Suicide Squad #0. Retconning things after ONE YEAR either shows you don't have any control over it or the whole thing was just an excuse to pay Rob Liefeld millions. Neither are very satisfactory explanations, I have to say.

Blue Beetle #0: My head hurts. Abandoning (to a large extentcontradicting) the backstory from the first 12 issues of the title concerning the Reach and how they were the BAD VILLAINS FROM BEFORE TIME WHO WERE ALWAYS MORTALLY ENEMIES WITH THE LANTERNS we find out instead that Jaime's scarab was instead a prototype weapon created by the people in the Reach which DESPITE BEING A COMPLETE FAILURE (unless you can think of a different way to describe how you can be rejected by your first choice of host - although to be fair it is a very young Lady Styx - and then spend ALL the rest of your time on the cosmic backwater of Earth, being lost for large chunks of it; in fact the first host you ever found seems to be in pre-Colombian Central America) goes completely into production as a MASSIVE EVIL WEAPON... well, words fail me. Anyway, it turns out OMAC teleported Blue Beetle to reach space at the end of the JLI annual, which was handy. They're all after him there for being a traitor. Which is odd as THIS VERY ISSUE it's clear this scarab what a prototype which still, for no identifiable reason, proved the concept and led to all the other scarabs. Despite having been only used once. HOW ARE THESE PEOPLE EMPLOYED?

Captain Atom #0: STOP GIVING JT KRUL MONEY. Nat Adam is a kind of flakey and unreliable test pilot for the military. So, not Hal Jordan then. He gets picked to fly a spaceship into another dimension despite the fact it doesn't move, yet everyone seems surprised and the mission must be a failure and he must be dead when it does exactly what it's supposed to. The dimensional transfer spunks out a bit of blue goo which Dr Manhattans itself into Captain Atom. He then gives a Mitt Romney speech about how the US military are so underfunded compared to their enemies and floats above the world as God. This is not, despite the way it sounds, the worst issue of Captain Atom but that particular bar isn't set very high.

Catwoman #0: Is it normal to have your job explained to you for the first time a year after you start work? Thought not. Anyway, Selina became a thief because a boy caught her out lying to him in a bar. There's a hamfisted attempt to establish a SUPER SECRET RUSSIAN PAST and that Selina Kyle is wiped from history and doesn't exist. Contradicting the first year of the book. Zero month isn't really much of a success, is it?

DCU Presents #0: HOW DOES A ROTATING STORY BOOK HAVE AN ORIGIN? Why not just tell the origin story of 5 books that are already cancelled? As pointless an exercise as that sounds. Tell you what, why not add a Who's Who page for OMAC that ignore the JLI annual (despite explicitly mentioning it) and says he's still a happy part of them. That's bound to make things better. Or a "before the Nu52" story that takes place during the first JL plot (probably after #4). Inept.

GL:NG #0: In origin month, NOT AN ORIGIN ISSUE. Following GL:NG #12 they have all broken up, so Kyle and Carol Ferris team up to kill some Black Hand zombies. During this they find out that Hal is dead (from GL #12/#0 or something) and we get a minor smidgeon more of the Guardians plans. But only a little bit, mind.

Justice League #0: CONTAINS NO ACTUAL JUSTICE LEAGUE. Geoff Johns' Shazam is a dick and reflects his world weary schtick in that Billy just wants to use his powers to make money. We get a Pandora backup story which links into Phantom Stranger #0 and undoes a lot of it, and a single page which introduces the Johnsiverse Question who it turns out is Rorscach. That went full circle then, huh? I hate you Geoff. Why don't you just fuck off and play in your own little GL universe where only you and your mates read comics and leave the memory of CC Beck alone? Why couldn't they have given Jeff Smith the gig? He nailed it. I despair.

LoSH #0: A summary. Braniac becomes part of the Legion. After he has become part of the Legion in a different untold story, which he may or may not remember. Inexplicably, this is still the best book so far this week. Which says more about the rest than it does about this, if I'm honest.

Nightwing #0: Despite the fact that all the way up to OWLS was explaining how Dick was the chosen one since whenever to challenge the Waynes, this is not actually mentioned until the Who's Who page. Instead, we get the yet another retelling of the Robin origin which is pretty much exactly the same as the previous ones with the exception of letting us know we should play cards with Bruce because he has a tell like you wouldn't believe. Which does raise the question why more people haven't worked out who Batman is. Overall OK, but not necessary.

Red Hood #0: Was the Joker the hand that shaped the events that made Bruce choose Jason Todd before? I don't think he was, which makes this a Nu52 #0 rarity - a story that actually tells something new. Anyway, A Death In The Family is Nu52 canon. That's all. (PS This is pretty good)

Sword of Sorcery #0: Amethyst saves a girl from the 50s from being raped by a group of jocks then is transported to Gemworld (or whatever it's called) by her mother the second she turn 17. (Amy, not her mother. That would be really weird.) She then shows us all her mommy issues before John Constantine steals her jewel in the real world while she isn't looking. Presumably that means she's trapped there. DUN DUN DUNNNNN! Beowulf wants to be like Northlanders (with it even being advertised in the back despite no link) and takes place in a near-ish future which has regressed to the Dark Ages. It could actually be a pretty good story but I ssupect it will take a number of months to work out whether it is or not.

Wonder Woman #0: A near-perfect Silver Age pastiche, which thinks it's from the Golden or maybe the Pulp age. Whatever, a joy from beginning to end and makes the whole Zero Month idea worthwhile. Probably the only thing I'd recommend you all read this week, as long as you like Silver Age comics.

Every time this thread is revived, I think it's because DC has finally come to their senses and aborted this mess. But it's pretty much too late to reverse course at this point, isn't it?

Yeah, this is going till the print arm of the company falls over.

so, until February

But you don't have to imperil your sanity all the way down, right, aldo?

Too far gone to turn around.

Batwoman #0: Kate's childhood and path to becoming Batwoman told in a momentary flashback during the death of Beth in one of the previous issues. It's entertaining enough, if very wordy (which in itself is one fo the inherent problems because, well, there's a more pressing reason for buying JH Williams books) but it just feels desperately unoriginal. It's a story I feel like I've read 1000 times before and don't feel I need to read again at the end of the day.

don't forget this is the second Batwoman #0 out of the 14 issues of Batwoman to date

This is sort of Countdown bad now, except instead of one title it's the WHOLE LINE

(with a couple exceptions)

^ This. Almost everything last week, with the exception of WW, was woeful.