Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

I think the thing that briefly made me cheerlead for Lobdell more heavily than I actually felt was merited was that half the things people held up during his tenure as gross failures of characterization that never should have happened were things Waid did in his X-book, like having Cannonball sulk in a tree worrying about whether he'd ever make a good leader after years of him being team leader in New Mutants and X-Force.

(Lobdell can totally take all the blame for X-Men Unlimited #4 tho)

Nicieza's done some decent stuff, but (as I'm pretty sure I posted elsewhere) his Thunderbolts run (or at least the stretch I read, tbf) was incoherent and wretched. Which was the last thing of his I've read and which has colored my opinion of him somewhat.

Lobdell was good at pulling shit out of his ass and juggling it with enough chutzpah that his shit juggling almost seemed like a rational act informed by forethought.

I've come around on Waid a little bit from the day when I threw his first FF issue in the trash but remain largely unimpressed.

I'm actually a really big fan of Lobdell's early Uncanny run (maybe up until around the point when Madureira came onboard). I think a lot of that stuff tops the last couple years of Claremont's run, easily.

Nicieza gets an eternal pass from me for Psi Force and his backup stories in Classic X-Men

I may overrate some of Lobdell's Uncanny run because I loved JoeMad so much

You guys are doing the "this crap was slightly better than this other warmed-over dogshit" game.

eh, not really

unless your thesis statement is that Psi Force sucked, in which case we are in an eternal fight

I never read it, but I admit the latter half of the series, which he apparently penned, could have been awesome.

he wrote 3/4 of it; took over at #9 and the whole line was cancelled at... 36? 32? something in the 30s

I gave up on Psi-Force long before he started writing it. It was horrible. It's a shame that only the first 9 are on MDCU as I'd give them a shot.

So you're basically saying he peaked with his first published comics

You guys are doing the "this crap was slightly better than this other warmed-over dogshit" game.

Yeah, sorry, that discussion has no place in a thread about the New 52.................

personally it drives me crazy that no one besides me thinks Waid is terrible

i've never read a good comic book by waid, and his run on fantastic four, where the thing meets jack kirby in heaven, is an all-time low. guy should never be allowed to shit up marvel comics.

as for karen berger, as someone who has basically spent her career being the 'nice' face of corporate comics, i can't say my heart bleeds for her particularly now that her paymasters have decided she's no longer a useful conduit to exploitable 'properties' or creators. i'm sure her golden handshake will be far more generous than anything received by the large majority of the freelancers who worked for her.

I like Waid's run on Flash, although I haven't read it since it came out so time may not support that conclusion.

In any case...

Action Comics #15: Ummm... GMoz's Action run is all a 5-D illusion? Who else went back and checked the number of worlds before and after the cataclysm to see if there were 52 left? He's slap bang on form here (and even the backup is great) but, as I've said before, this has so little to do with the Johnsiverse I have absolutely no idea why DC are persisting with the idea it's one of the New 52 (see also Batman Inc). Last issue's story took place about a decaxe in the future, and this issue takes place simultaneously in the past, the present and the future. I think the trade of this is going to be a great read, and I look forward to re-reading once done, but to be honest as a monthly floppy I'm finding it kind of infuriating as it feels like you need to be checking other issues all the time or at least not be distracted by reading other things. On that basis, I still have mixed feelings about the book and it doesn't liven up my week's reading.

Animal Man #15: Featuring Frankenstein, which means you'll need to have read Frankenstein #15 to know how that turns out before he gets here. Except it's not published yet. TOP PLANNING. So, they beat all the gorillas in a couple of pages and walk over America some more. The flashback to the 'present' pans out exactly as you thought it would, and in the future Buddy has a nightmare about the past, from before they all got in the camper van. Having finally got to Metropolis, where the secret prison of the guy that can beat Rotworld is, amid much speculation they're going to find Superman they find Green Lantern. Although not a Lantern we've seen before, and obviously they haven't been reading Earth 2 because in there Alan Scott beats Grundy when he turns up as the Earth 2 King of Rot. Rot is kind of how I feel about this book now, if I'm honest. It's clearly not a real future, and is so obviously full of padding it's not that engaging. Swamp Thing is clearly driving this narrative, and actually being good is obviously in its favour. But more on that later. As for this, it's 2 pages of resolution of the last plot then 18 pages of nothing then 2 pages of cliffhanger. Just like the last half dozen issues. Disappointing.

Batwing #15: Western science beats African magic. GOT THAT? A massive electric Bat-net stops the baddie from mind-controlling people and Batwang decides not to throw him off a roof, just to show what a good man he is. Pity he's still a cop accepting bribes, eh?

Detective Comics #15: There's a great story in here about the resolution to the Clayface and Ivy marriage story but it's kind of overshadowed by the Penguin plot in which we get another blonde smoking slightly shifty anti-hero to go with the ones in Justice League Dark and Wonder Woman. Is it any wonder then this feels like it's going over old ground? Especially when it's a core Bat-book during a massive Bat-crossover that it doesn't go near except referring to it in one panel? The backup is really kind of excellent though, with the full story of Clayface and Ivy told with pace and poise. You know what it reminds me of? Concrete. And you can't say that about many books DC are publishing these days.

Dial H #7: Nelson and Roxie continue to look for another dial, slowly picking up clues (mainly in France). The great thing about this is the balancing of comedy and moving the plot forward, even if it's just goofing off with barking mad and useless characters. At the end, Mieville show's he's read The Invisibles and the bad guy is revealed as GMoz's time centipede thing. A trick is missed by not calling him the Human Centipede, I fear.

Earth 2 #7: Alan Scott gets used to the idea of being Green Lantern and Hawkgirl tries to intimidate him into embracing his Lantern-ness. There's an underground base and then NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO who wanted Mister Terrific back in this? We'd only just managed to forget about him! But then... yay yay yay we might be getting Red Tornado soon! Although I don't know why I'm looking forward to it, they'll probably bollocks it up as badly as Blue Devil. It's come to this, that the base expectation for any DC book now is that it'll be crap and if it isn't then we all applaud. That can't be right, can it?

GI Combat #7: How can a comic featuring a giant Nazi war wheel driven by the corpse of Erwin Rommel and destroyed by a ghost, a magic tank and a guy in his 80s be bad? That's right, IT CAN'T. The Unknown Soldier backup is solid enough and closes the story out, but the ending is a bit corny. You know what though? I can't help thinking if the book had started with Haunted Tank rather than giving JT Krul YET ANOTHER chance then it might have built up a slight head of sales and wouldn't be getting cancelled. Maybe a lesson to be learned there, but Johns and DiDio aren't in the game of learning.

Green Arrow #15: Oh God, this is dreadful rubbish. The not-concluded Hawkman stuff from last issue (which appears to have been concluded off-page) has left Oliie with a head injury which may or may not mean this whole issue is being imagined. Anyway, he breaks up a dog fight where the dog (the special favourite of on of the main bad guys) fights the other main bad guy for a diamond ice pick. "Made of real ice - geddit?" says the main bad guy. No, we don't. This needs putting out of its misery.

Stormwatch #15: Is this actually worse? I think it might be. There's a quadruple bluff and the guy from the first couple of issues (who we might have all forgotten about) turns out to be the bad guy behind everything and not shy of killing a roomful of kids to frame Midnighter. There's implanted memories (which in a twist I'm sure Pete Milligan assumes is SHOCKING) which may actually be inverted and the Midnighter might be the only one with the implanted memory, which is that everybody else has implanted memories saying he's bad... and emo Apollo flies into the sun to mope. Presumably his bedroom wasn't far enough away. Confusing rubbish, bordering on unreadable.

Swamp Thing #15: Compared to Animal Man, as you really have to do since they have the same plot, this is a work of genius. On its own merit, it's a pretty competent comic telling of the journey of Swampy and Deadman to Gotham looking for Batman, and finding Batgirl, interspersed with the 'now' of Abby trying to escape from the castle as Rotworld starts. It's just so much of a shame that this whole tie-in exists and that it's supposed to be part of the Johnsiverse - it would probably make a great standalone GN, but DC know better. Of course they do.

Phantom Stranger #3: They know well enough to produce this execrable crap. Written by their head guy. Words really can't describe how awful this is, honestly. It's a number of action poses, linked by some dreadfully stilted dialogue including a section where a character looks like he's going to discover God but goes to Thailand instead. There's a talking dog and the POWER OF PILATES. And wow, another slightly magic, wisecracking, sinister sidekick who smokes. That's 4 now. Who ever said DC had run out of ideads?

World's Finest #7: Damian shows up to help and it turns out Darkseid is KONY 2012. Really? REALLY? Ugh.

Yep, I'm hoping the Action Comics will read better collected (as in, not "I waited a month and all I got was 20 pages and Sholly Fisch")

To counter on Waid, I've liked quite a few of his books: 52, Daredevil, Brave & Bold, ASM (for a couple issues), Birthright, LOSH (for the first year, anyway), and FF (for six months, anyway). He has some less lovable traits (an inability to do "dark" - cf. Irredeemable) and his 90s work is all flat-out dud, but his work is generally fun. He's basically the old codger BKV.

BKV has written Y, Runaways and Saga - Waid's best work is at least a grade below that.

Y went on for what seemed like an eternity, it was way too long. Decent editing could have trimmed at least a year's publication out of it.

a comic featuring a giant Nazi war wheel driven by the corpse of Erwin Rommel and destroyed by a ghost, a magic tank and a guy in his 80s

http://www.stupidgifs.com/images/full/624.gif

I thought Y was all pretty good though, but I am always in favour of a writer who has an interesting world and a bunch of stories to tell having the time to do that, rather that Oh well better get on with the main plot.

Yeah, have enjoyed Y and Runaways much more than any Waid comic I've read, tho' the v mediocre artwork on Y has always been a bit of a barrier to pleasure for me

Sorry, not a qualitative comparison -- more that I find both their comics fun, easy reads but ultimately disposable -- i.e. how I read comics as a kid.

it turns out Darkseid is KONY 2012. Really? REALLY? Ugh.

Darkseid got caught jackin' it in the street.

It's both. Power Girl goes to Africa to look for an Apokolyptian satellite dish and gets attacked by some child soldiers. She says she's seen KONY 2012, but that deals with Rwanda, and this isn't Rwanda so must be something different... then the kids have a gun from Apokolips and get sucked away by a Boom Tube. While he says "Come to me, children."

As bad as it sounds, but possibly not as bad as earlier in the issue where an elephant telepathically tells her he hasn't seen men running about with big bags of cash.

fucking hell

And yet, not the worst book DC published last week (see Phantom Stranger).

YOU GUYS

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2012/12/captain-carrot-hopping-into-new-52-as-thresholds-krot/

I AM AMAZED AND LOLLING

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv3hpwPxsH1r4nv2so1_500.jpg

goddammit, i LIKE captain carrot
don't give him the fucking giffen treatment

What the?!? I'm a proud owner of a complete run of Captain Carrot and I like Keith Giffen but FUCK NO.

They're just doing this to try to keep up with Marvel's Rocket Raccoon revival.

Yeah, but...Marvel didn't give Rocket Racoon a hard & edgy makeover. They just unforgot his existence. Particularly disappointing since Giffen's the dude who brought RR back!

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

Batgirl #15: I know the Bat franchise is all about vengeance, but jeez, Gail Simone ladles it on. Batgirl wants to kill the Joker because he's hurting her mum. No, because of the whole cripple thing. No, her mum. No, the cripple thing. No, because of James. No, because of her mum. How do you live your life as such a seething ball of hate? It's amazing she's able to function, she's so led by her emotions. Anyway, (one of) the Joker's plans is revealed and... it's the plot to Boxing Helena. Which might almost be ironic and/or cute if one of the characters was called Helena, but since there isn't just feels lazy. I'd like to hope it was this "shocking revelation" that got Gail sacked.

Batman #15: Bruce, your skills of denial are fearsome but you're wrong. Of course the Joker's been in the Batcave and of course he knows who everybody is. Even Jason Todd, WHO HE KILLED, knows this is true and him zinging you over it is the highlight of this otherwise overly wordy issue. Not Jurgens Superman wordy, I'll give you, but very full of exposition and explanation. Maybe if a plot's that complex then it's too complicated? Maybe? The backup is far more like it, giving us the Joker's escape from Arkham and bring the (presumbly unreformed in the Johnsiverse) Riddler along for the ride. Poor old Steve though. Being ruined too like that.

Batman & Robim #15: See Gail? Peter Tomasi gets it. Actually, he possibly has more fun with the Joker than any of the other current Bat-writers, having him play with his face and sticking his hands through the mouth - even wearing it upside-down in a pretty disturbing image. I can't help thinking the whole Alfred plot is nothing more than sleight of hand during this crossover, and I stand by my guess that Damian is the one who dies after reading this issue.

Deathstroke #15: Not improved by lack of Liefeld. Now that's a claim.

Demon Knights #15: Some day a real rain will come and wash the magic off the bad guys. Not really how I thought this plot would end, but you can't have everything. It ends with the formalisation of the group as Stormwatch, and we all know if Merlin calls you a name you decide to keep it. This book has, unfortunately, petered out month on month after about the first 9 months and is probably nearing the end of worth. The next issue is set "thirty years later" though, so maybe a new team (presumably?) will revitalise it. Sales figures would suggest it's a lost cause though.

Frankenstein #15: So, now we know the missing link between Frankenstein #14 and Animal Man #15, which is that the magic women who turned up on the final page of last issue all die 2 pages into this issue in order for Frankie to beat the big monster. The rest of the issue is emo nonsense as it turns out F is head over heels with Not Abe Sapien and has made her pregnant. When did she stop wearing her water helmet? I've only just realised she doesn't have it on during this issue. Limping over the line rather than finishing strongly, the scent of failure is all over this title now and it's a chore to finish.

Green Lantern Corps #15: Guy isn't a Lantern any more. John Stewart is with one of the Star Sapphires, who tethers her heart with love to the bit of Mogo that JS has found to help it meet all the other bits of Mogo. Salaak is now the best Lantern in the history of Lanterning ever, as he's just about able to work out what the Guardians are doing (which seems to be proving ridiculously easy, so maybe the Lanterns aren't all that after all). Guy decides he going to bluff it against bad guys and goes out to bust some heads, but only ends up ruining a lengthy police honey trap for an arms dealer. Which, it seems, gets you arrested. There had to be something arresting about this book, I guess. Badum-tish.

Grifter #15: Wow. Marat Michaels goes all-out with his Liefeld worship here. It's much cleaner inked than Rob, but the poses and layouts are just as bad - arguably worse. King Shark, for example, is a noticeably different size in all four panels he's in. There's a plot in here somewhere but it's buried so far below the overwhelming tide of crap that I can't be arsed expending the effort to find it. Something to do with Mormon Daemonites I think. C'mon. I couldn't be making that up, could I? Anyway, this takes place about 6 months ago in continuity, I think, based on the Suicide Squad represented here. Is it so difficult to get basic things right, like WHO'S ALIVE?

Legion Lost #15: Wildfire sacrifices himself to no avail, although apparently they're going to try and rebuild him. I thought this was the last issue, but it turns out the next one is. Or not, as apparently it's merging (of sorts) with the Ravagers. You have to query the editorial mentality at DC, really. EVERY cancelled book - which has been cancelled because of poor sales, remember - has been merged or continued in another title. Here's the thing: people weren't buying it because they didn't like it. They still won't like it if/when you change the name and continue it in secret. Or am I missing something?

Suicide Squad #15: I think this will actually turn out to be a key point in Death of the Family in the end, as we find out a lot about the Joker's general motivation in the Johnsiverse. But that last page. I look forward to how THAT'S explained.

Superboy #15: Oh God, I had forgotten this crossover was still going. Superboy is beaten almost to death, so Supes flies him off to the Fortress of Solitude and tries to put his armour on Superboy to cure him. His logic is that it will recognise Kryptonian bloodline and help him but it doesn't work properly. Supes rationalises this as proof Superboy is a clone of him. Yes. The thing that works by recognising Kryptonians (in his head) doesn't work because he's perfectly identical to Kryptonians. Still, how can you take a man seriously who stops between two panels to put on a cape for no obvious reason? He'l looks like he's winning, which clearly means he'll lose in the next issue of Supergirl.

Team 7 #3: The hiding place of cancelled characters does a fairly basic spy team book as they try and break up whatever it is the singer from Ghost is trying to do. None of it really matters as the point of the whole thing is Deathstroke being turned into Eclipso on the last page. I doubt it'll make this readable next month, but you never know.

Ravagers #7: Fairchild sees a future where the Ravagers destroy the world. Yes, it's them that do it, not the definitely true Rotworld, or the Guardians' Third Army, or the New Krypton, or anything else that is definitely the future which will destroy everything. If you're having continuity, you sort of have to stick with it. (By the same token, where is this in relation to Legion Lost?) Deathstroke's going to be in the next one. Because he improves everything, obviously.

If you're having continuity, you sort of have to stick with it.

I kind of think you're the only person who believes this, dude. I certainly don't want to believe in this case - I am perfectly happy for Swamp Thing's future apocalypse to not have to tie itself in contortions to accommodate the Guardian's, and vice versa.

The whole point in the Johnsiverse is that it's supposed to be a post Flashpoint Year Zero and that continuity was supposed to reset and be an thing. It's the ENTIRE premise for the line of comics.

I can accept that it's all too difficult bad they want to abandon it all, but would it really be so hard to admit it in one of the seemingly weekly press conferences they give? Or, you know, not keep crossing over all titles and making explicit in editorial buyouts that they're happening at the sane time?

*boxouts

You have to query the editorial mentality at DC, really. EVERY cancelled book - which has been cancelled because of poor sales, remember - has been merged or continued in another title. Here's the thing: people weren't buying it because they didn't like it. They still won't like it if/when you change the name and continue it in secret. Or am I missing something?

The only characters and plot that exist are dictated by editorial fiat, not writer's impetus. If a take on a character, or a storyline, fails in the marketplace, then it is the fault of the market, not of the content. To come up with new characters or stories would require more time than is available, or rely on writers' ideas. Thus they must be continued in another interchangeable module of The Nu-52.

The 52 is all. The 52 is everything. There is no reading outside The 52.

All DC comics are great because they contain DC stories. All DC stories are great because they contain DC characters. All DC characters are great because they appear in DC comics.

If it's established that all the titles of a particular line are supposed to exist within a shared continuity, then yeah, I sure as shit expect the editors to do the job they're being paid to do and make it happen. If it's understood that certain titles or lines have their own continuity, that's cool, too. But you don't get to constantly shift the goalposts and call it a sundae.

what the fuck kind of sundaes are you eating

tuomassundae.jpg

a friend of mine gave me a pile of new comics the other day, including a fair few 'new 52s' - the first time i've really looked at any of them. all i can say is, HOW CAN YOU READ THIS SHIT?

protective eyewear

xpost It's a mixed metaphor sundae, with nuts.

I dunno, this brings up a very obvious question that's been plaguing me a lot lately: namely, am I finally getting too old for superheroes, or are mainstream comics just incerdibly shit at the moment?

I'm still getting a lot of pleasure out of other, better comics right now (Dungeon!) so I suspect it's the latter, as much as I personally enjoy my inner me-as-curmudgeon meme.

Anyway, sundaes.

I mean, even the Marvel Now stuff, which is leagues more competent than DC's stuff, I still find basically unreadable.

I think the two main purveyors of superhero comics are in creative troughs right now, but I'm not prepared to write off the genre just yet. It's a good time to divert $$$ to other stuff, for sure.