Aldo reads DC's New 52 (So you don't have to)

The nicest thing I can think to say about what happened to the Justice League is that I don't think it's been done before.

(For those not reading i.e. all of you, they were sucked into Firestorm)

DC's entire line seems to be Countdown bad at the moment (maybe marginally better art). I see Geoff Johns got a new form of head squashing into the last Forever Evil.

what we've been missing

http://i.newsarama.com/images/i/000/118/099/i300/superman-wonder-wonder-3-var.jpg?1384970140

I don't remember seeing that picture anywhere. Where's it from?

It's pervading the whole company, in DCU vs Masters of the Universe (no, really) WW calls Supes her bf. Although the main universe is over it and the Forever Evil WW alt whose name I can't be arsed remembering is doing Owlman and Ultraman behind each others backs (with strong rape/domestic violence implications also).

That's the alternate cover for issue 3.

Ah. Ta.

that sounds like a funny if pointless crossover series

You're half right.

i just read a review that (spoilers) the big evil behind it all is a redesigned nu-52 style ORKO which is freakin' hilarious

Yeah, he's the final reveal in #3 (oops, spoilers LIKE ANYONE CARES).

It's Wendy and Marvin and Wonder Dog all over again. DC is totally that fucked up kid from Toy Story.

i didn't believe you but wow
http://everydayislikewednesday.blogspot.com/2013/12/dc-universe-vs-masters-of-universe-3-it.html

In an effort to save the day, He-Man's mom teamed-up with John Constantine

I got to here and couldn't continue due to giggles

I don't know which is more insane: Dark Orko or John Constantine in a Masters of the Universe comic. DC has been constantly surprising me since the advent of the New 52, but they're always surprises akin to putting your foot in a shoe filled with shit.

i can't take any of this seriously, i actually want to read this now to see how awful it gets

Going through comics every Tuesday when I'm checking the orders, I'm continually shocked that DC sales are 15% higher in my stores than Marvel. Everything they do looks like such a shit show.

blame the movies

Is Eric Cartman a writer at DC now?

Dark Orko is secretly brilliant IMO

D'Orko.

if they can get gaiman to write this i will buy

http://www.retailmail.com/system/emails/images/000/092/907/small/2a98f875.jpg?1381216390

tuckable mask

Out of context, I'd think the Orko thing was kind of genius, but the rest of the comic looks just awful, so...

i wish they had done this in say, dial h for hero without warning
like standard hero book then BANG attack of the grim and gritty orko

So, Plastic Man is created in this week's issue of Justice League (#25).

Which would be fine, had he not been in JLI#1 two years ago.

Continuity. It's not fucking hard.

I reeeeeally hope someone has been keeping track of all the continuity fuckups. I want a book.

tbf, continuity seems like it might be kind of hard, because any time I read a text explanation of the history of the Marvel or DC universes it's completely incoherent.

i get the feeling they don't try as hard to hire editors that will keep track of this stuff. but new 52 in particular got really messed up

Continuity not that hard when you're (in theory, anyway) only dealing with a year and a half of it.

OK actual irl lols when the supporting cast for Harley Quinn appears. "Big Tony" is in the middle.

http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7423/11486112723_b61bae577a_z.jpg

That's "Big Tony". Not Glen Danzig. No sir, no way.

that's some hobbit-like scaleshifting there

Yeah, I'm not sure why they've drawn him taller than he is in real life.

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2832/12389158525_59ecd20027_z.jpg

I'm not imagining these panels from Batwang are kinda racist, am I?

Also, Earth 4 (or wherever it was the bad guys in Forever Evil came from, I've lost the will to remember) was destroyed by Amy's Crack out of Doctor Who.

lol "kinda"

Generally speaking, one should not go out of their way to make characters in their comics sound like characters from the Friday movies

Well yeah, but I was trying to maintain a distance so I could back out if you all said "don't be stupid, nothing racist there".

Weird it was in Batwang, whose sole purpose is to have a comic with a black Batman in it.

Also one of the gang is Nick Frost.

Aldo, btw, are you still reading this stuff?!

Unfortunately, yes.

The big problem for me was the time I was spending writing and editing just seemed like too much effort. And then I got a job again, and moved house, and I just didn't have the time. I've been thinking for a while to do a catch-up post but tbh almost everything from the second year failed to stick in my head (because; terrible).

Kind of surprised they haven't done a Batman and John Constantine story really yet. That would have been a pretty obvious team up comic to do in the New 52.

The obvious person to get to write such a thing would be Peter Milligan with his history with both characters. I'd do it as a flashback story, perhaps with some reference to the old 80s Swamp Thing story with Holland going to get Abby out of Gotham and/or JLA Floronic Man story.

didn't those stories not happen anymore now?

Yes, they not happened for several reasons, not least that the Jason Woodrue backstory was rewritten in the past 6 months to give him his New52 history. (Quick version, Jason was a random bloke selected by The Green as The Seeder, a competitor for the Champion of The Green in a trial they have from time to time to ensure they have made the right choice with The Champion.)

The Seeder

amazing

Onan The Seeder

47 “New 52” books have been cancelled in three years of the New 52; DC currently axing about one book every three weeks.

http://comicsalliance.com/dc-comics-new-52-47-cancelation/

wow. worse than i even suspected.

I think the key takeaway isn't the number of books that have been cancelled (because to be honest some of them have been mini or maxi series trading as ongoing titles) but that so many of them have been cancelled and then just migrated to new titles - Mister Terrific was cancelled and then put into Earth 2, Grifter was cancelled and then given Team 7, Titans is just being straight rebooted... and weirdly the titles don't seem to end, even when they do. I've been keeping up with all the books (and it's still as painful as ever it was) and I hadn't even realised Animal Man was cancelled - DC have been finishing story arcs with 'THE END' as a trait of the line, and there didn't feel like there was anything climactic about the last issue. I can see why it reads as the end of Jeff Lemire's run, but apart from that it just kind of petered out.

The most galling for me is to see All-Star Western cancelled. Still the most obviously 'different' of the DC books, everybody pretended it was New 52 rebooted when it was just Jonah Hex rebranded; in the last 3 years we've seen Hex in the present day and have his face fixed by modern surgery before being cast back to the Wild West where nobody recognises him any more. And it's been genuinely a great ride, without it DC will just become an unhappy grimface pile of Johnsiverse action figure playtime.

Things currently worth reading:

Flash is still good. Not as consistently great as it was to start with, but there's a decent set of rogues. I'm also not convinced by the New Wally, but that's a whole other story.

Green Arrow has turned totally on its head. It's changed the mythology to the Arrow series mixed with Longbow Hunters, and has some really, really cool layouts and a great art style. Easily DC's best looking book, although it could be more readable.

Wonder Woman still has Azarello on board, and it will be great for as long as he is (which is only another couple of months I think).

World's Finest is probably the weakest book listed here, a sort of buddy movie with Power Girl and The Huntress but cancelled anyway. The early issues with Kev Maguire art are the best of the bunch.

Batman has disappeared up the Bat-mythology wazoo. Scott Snyder is a good enough writer to pull it back but I kind of feel he needs to soon.

Catwoman shows the overall weakness of this list, an averagely written caper plot stretched out beyond normal telling limits. Readable at least, which places it in the top half of the DC output.

Harley Quinn is the closest thing DC have to a Marvel book at the moment, by which I mean one like Young Avengers or Journey Into Mystery or She Hulk; one that deals in broad comedy along with the action. It's maybe the single title I look forward to most, because I like dumb fun. Plus it has Glenn Danzig as a sidekick!

Of the upcoming stuff the Giffen/DiDio Forever People series might be good, because OMAC was good. Suicide Squad will always have a place in my heart because Suicide Squad, but time will tell (and it has Joker's Daughter as a kick-off character. Yuck.) GI Zombie is Palmiotti and Gray, so of course I'm going to give it a break.

That's not a very impressive list now, is it?

Ha, lol at them cancelling the Trinity of Sin stuff. Did that ever amount to anything?

aldo - even that list looks like Stockholm syndrome, dude.