Ship: September 28, 2005

Maybe it's just me (I haven't been as gaga over "Dead Robin" GC), but the cliffhangers of mk II seem emptier to me. They seem, on the whole, more action-oriented than emotion-oriented. (KLAXON: Selective memory alert!)

Also, I don't know who this Ultron Man is!

JLA CLASSIFIED #12 $2.99 --really enjoying the Warren Ellis storyline
LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #10 $2.99--because I genuinely don't know what's going to happen next
OMAC PROJECT #6 (OF 6) $2.50--dubious as I am, I want to see how it ends
PLASTIC MAN #18 $2.99--will be very sad to see this series go
SHOWCASE PRESENTS GREEN LANTERN VOL 1 TP $9.99--Phonebook goodness!
SHOWCASE PRESENTS SUPERMAN VOL 1 TP $9.99--More phonebook goodness!
DAREDEVIL #77 $2.99--where the hell is this storyline going to end up?
NEW AVENGERS #11 $2.50--hey, has this gone weekly now?

new avengers
spidey house of m
omac
jla classified
superman batman 22 (did i somehow miss this the first time around? i gotta make sure i didn't buy it and just not read it... diggin')
ultimate iron man
ACTION PHILOSOPHERS!!! might have to go into manhattan to get this one.. i don't think the local store stocks it.

BATMAN #645 - Who is...the Red Mask? And what is his connection to...the Black Hood!
FLASH #226 - Post-Johns footnotes as the Scarlet Speedster races toward his FINAL FATE in Infinite Crisis!
JLA #119 - Despero's taken over Aquaman's body! THE WORLD WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!
JLA CLASSIFIED #12 - Fun, fun, fun.
OMAC PROJECT #6 (OF 6) - Fifty Million Cyborg Sleeper Agents Can't Be Wrong!
SHOWCASE PRESENTS GREEN LANTERN VOL 1 TP - Mmm, mmm.
SHOWCASE PRESENTS SUPERMAN VOL 1 TP - .mmm ,mmM
SUPERMAN BATMAN #22 (RES) - Is this a new issue? I think Superman/Batman is now a FULL YEAR behind schedule.
SUPERMAN BIRTHRIGHT TP - I probably won't by this this week. I shouldn't really buy it all. But I'm curious (black).
DAREDEVIL #77 - I'm still smarting from the lacklustre "Decalagoue" too much to fully appreciate this storyline, which is probably pretty good.
DEFENDERS #3 (OF 5 - ALL BICKERING, ALL THE TIME!

Also, to Huk (& others): Rocketo is VERY VERY NICE! Download / buy ASAP!

And here's stuff I'm getting that no one's listed yet:

SILENT DRAGON #3 (OF 6) - Andy Diggle & Leinil "Superman: Birghright" Francis Yu do techno-samurai soap-operatics!!! Something about a samurai getting killed for pitching woo at his master's woman, getting snicker-snacked for this betrayal, and then being revived by a rival clan to strike at those he once served. Very swank!

INVINCIBLE #26 - The BEST SUPERHERO BOOK RIGHT NOW hyperbole's kinda justified (but of course I'd say that).

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #524 - Part 6 of some interminable arc where Spidey & the Avengers beat the snot out of Hydra agents; please end now & get to the next earth-shattering cataclysm that doesn't involve Osborne sex.
BLACK WIDOW 2 #1 (OF 6) - I never finished the first one, but enjoyed the 2/3rds I read; also, this one features Bill S. finishing layouts by SEAN PHILLIPS.
DRAX THE DESTROYER #1 (OF 4) - Keith Giffen does a big green alien guy. Am crossing my fingers on this one. (BTW, how underwhelming was that Howling Commandos preview?)
FANTASTIC FOUR #531 - So, in case you missed it (and hopefully I'm not missing something), there's some boggins re: the FF's powers being determined on some small part by their own personality and desires. And the cosmic rays were actually a signal beacon from some alien. (I'm totally misremembering this, BTW - please fix me.) Um. It's OK. A little "meh" in wake of Waid / Wieringo. Some folks here might start swinging if they read this stuff.
NEW WARRIORS #4 (OF 6) - Heard good, fun things about this series (the one where the NW become reality TV stars).
SENTRY #1 (OF 8) - I'm thinking I'll buy anything that JR JR does (tho I might have to switch to surreptitious browsing if I don't watch myself).
WOLVERINE #33 - OH YEAH HOUSE OF M X-OVER WHY NOT!!
YOUNG AVENGERS #7 - Wheeeee!

NIGHT MARY #2 (OF 5) - The Sea of Red team (Rick Remender / Kieron Dwyer) do more horror stuff, this time involving serial killers and precognitive dream-walking and stuff like that. At $3.99US a pop, might be a bit pricey for y'all, but probably worth a flip-thru, if so inclined.
POLLY & THE PIRATES #1 (OF 6) - Ted Naifeh (AKA Mr. Courtney Crumrin) does swashbuckling stuff!

LOSH is super exciting though - can't wait for next month already

p.s. JLA clssified is good. I don't mind Green lantern's armor, really. It provides a little contrast to all the other bros in tights hangin out. I've also never been highly invested in the Green Lantern franchines, though..

Yeah, Wonder Woman is the new Bernard Goetz!

OMAC PROJECT #6: Perfunctory climax, fill-in art on half the pages trying to come off as it's from the regular artist's pen, Batman briefly snogs a robot chick while 200K OMACs hover above Earth waiting to strike. And Wonder Woman is outed all across the world SHOCK!

JLA #119: Perfunctory climax featuring superheroes doing superheroic stuff, and Zatanna (THE IT GIRL!) saving the day and making things right and hubba hubba gams. Chris Bautista, I salute you - plz get regular work. And then the "League" "disbands" (which might make it hard for Bob Harras, as he's writing the next JLA arc). And then Martian Manhunter, thinking of dragging Gypsy out of retirement, gets bumrushed by "Superman" before he go BOOM. OR DOES HE?!? SHOCK!

DAYS OF VENGEANCE #6: Whoda thunk this'd be the best of the PRE-INFINITE CRISIS series? And, yep, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement. But I digress. A (wait for it) perfunctory climax where the Spectre & Shazam FITE! while Eclipso orbits around the sun. Shazam has the advantage BUT WAIT Spectre comes back and whups him good. Then that floating rock thing (that looks suspiciously like the Eclipso gem DO YOU SEE?) explodes and stuff goes everywhere, including the Blue Beetle Scarab. And the Mystical Misfits decide to stick together. Possible Ragman / Enchantress nookie in store. SHOCK!

#18

But, fear not because SOMETHING HAPPENS!

PLASTIC MAN #18: Plastic Man - SHATTERED INTO ONE THOUSAND PIECES! His girl and step-daughter - REDUCED TO ASHES! His chubby friend - FALLS DOWN A LOT! Edwina Crisis STARTS RIGHT NOW!

Also:

THE BAKERS #1: Awesome.

DRAX #1: Not bad at all! The "poor man's John Cassaday" artwork definitely helps! But, yeah - Drax, The Blood Brothers, Lunatik, and Tom's favorite PAIBOK THE POWER SKRULL, in transit to some interstellar prison colony, have their transport go KAPLOOEY right over Earth. They crashland, two local kids find them, and CONTINUED NEXT ISSUE! Also - Drax seems to have Guy Gardner-esque moode swings when he's KAWANGed by debris.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #524: AKA the "end" of the HAIL HYDRA arc wherein all the HAIL HYDRA stuff happens off-screen. Instead, we get lots of lifting done for the sake of the next mega-Spidey x-over event starting in two weeks - THE OTHER! By "lots of lifting," I meant "suggesting Spidey's not all there and possibly Going Through Changes by having him talk to himself & pass out occasionally." Also, Aunt May & Jarvis are GETTING IT ON OH YEAH!

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HULK: DESTRUCTIVORIUM #3: Ungh. First reaction: "Oh, so what if it's a video game-related mini-series - it's by Peter David! How bad can it be?" After reading the first issue: "Oh, so what if the art reminds you of Brigade & other wonderful eye-gouging LiefeldCorp books - it's by Peter David! How bad can it be?" After reading the second issue: "Oh, so what if it doesn't make any damn sense because the artist draws like a slaphead and the characters are just spitting out plot? It's almost over! How much worse can it get?" After this one: "Oh COME ON AND DRAW SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE. Also, big whoop - looky BANNER SMASH and Abomination break chains after 2+ issues of exposition to SMASH BANNER how dingdonging quaint." Aldo, corroborate this viewpoint or DIE!

WOLVERINE #32: Millar w/ a neat little one-off about Logan pissing off concentration camp commanders by being an undead nebbish what gets shot & burned a lot. Kinda begs the question, "um, does he have anything better to do than just fuck w/ Nazis; like, maybe he could, um, try saving some of the prisoners?" but, apart from that, good stuff! The art (by cover-artist god Kaare Andrews) is GREAT! Also, MM gives a shout-out to Will Eisner for suggesting that Wolvie not say a damn thing in the story - good call, Will!

WOLVERINE #33: HOUSE OF M! For you continuity buffs, this story takes place right after Wolvie dives off the Helicarrier. For those of you that don't give a squeeze - HOM Wolvie is a SHIELD agent, partnered (in more ways than one OH YEAH) w/ Mystique. Short story shorter - since Logan went AWOL right after a flubbed mission (wherein rogue agents stole a Sentinel), Mystique's grilled about Logan's prior association w/ the mastermind behind the Sentinel theft - NICK FURY! Nice art by famed Ghost Rider artistes (cough) Javier Saltares & Mark Teixeira. Part 1 of 3. Might actually be worth a click, if you're so inclined.

ULTIMATE SPOILERS!

ULTIMATE IRON MAN #4: In this issue! Tony Stark has his legs burned off! Obidiah Stane kills two kids! Tony's father turns out to be to be a big fat doodie head! And folks be scheming!

ULTIMATE SECRET #3: Yay for high-quality replacement artists: Tom Raney cleans up Steve McNiven's mess. Warren Ellis makes me miss his Ultimate FF based sorely on some minor character interactions. Superheroes are going up in space and mixing it up with the Kree clobberin' time style! Lots of one-liners and puns. Also, BEER!

ULTIMATE FF #23: ZOMBIES BORING! In essence, the alt.verse zombies make a run at Magneto & Reed on Zombie Marvel World, but the rest of the FF comes and saves them and brings everyone back to Ultimate Marvel World (except for Magneto, who stays back to Keep The Zombies At Bay & Wait for Kirkman To Get Into Town). And dig that inappropriate last splash-page - the dialogue says "OMG IT'S YOU?", but the facial expression says "OMG IS THAT A DIAMOND!?!?!"

ULTIMATE FF ANNUAL #1: Hit & run Inhumans action. In essence, MM condensces the "Crystal runs away, but comes back home, and then the Inhumans, tainted by the footprints of MAN, up & leave" storylineSSS from the original FF book into one semi-unsatisfying issue (including corny reference to the original story's love pathos - "but I love her!" "but you just met her, Johnny!" "OK, yeah, but she's hot!"). Jae Lee, tho, makes it sorta OK. THE TWIST: Gorgon is now FEMALE. Hooved boobies yay!

ACTION PHILOSOPHERS WHATEVER IT'S CALLED: The stories of SIGMUND FREUD, CARL JUNG, and JOSEPH CAMPBELL told in Scintillating Stan Lee style w/ art by a Dorkin-esque fellow that amuses AND entertains. And features a page full of dryhumping! Because it's Freud! So so so so good.

I'm more than happy to, although it means admitting I'm wasting money on it. Really dreadful stuff. I wish I had a better knowledge of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues to know exactly where those ridiculous poses of Mercy are being lifted from.

I think Ultimate Iron Man was the best thing I read this week. Although the ongoing awesomeness of Plastic Man makes its cancellation all the more baffling.