Hard To Port: November 9, 2005

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TENTATIVE: Um, not much at all!

Allow me to pimp for the HOT NEW VERTIGO ONGOING SERIES DMZ. Mile High Comics has a sneak peek. And here's some promo blah-blah:

In the near future, America's worst nightmare has come true. With military adventurism overseas bogging down the Army and National Guard, the U.S. government mistakenly neglects the very real threat of anti-establishment militias scattered across the 50 states. Like a sleeping giant, Middle America rises up and violently pushes it way to the shining seas, coming to a standstill at the line in the sand - Manhattan or, as the world now knows it, the DMZ.
Matty Roth, a naive young man and aspiring photojournalist, lands a dream gig following a veteran war journalist into the heart of the DMZ. Things soon go terribly wrong and Matty finds himself lost and alone in a world he's only seen on television. There, he is faced with a choice: try to find a way off the island, or make his career with an assignment most journalists would kill for. But can he survive in a war zone long enough to report the truth?

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 17:05 (twenty years ago)

And, hey, if you're jonesing for MORE Brian Wood, he's got a new maxi-series coming out via Oni Press called Local. Read the blog!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 17:08 (twenty years ago)

Yowza!

GOTHAM CENTRAL #37 - Woo hoo! Captain Marvel meets the MCU! (WARNING: This was supposed to ship last week, and DC's Crisis Counseling page has spoilers--which I avoided, because I am an expert reader)
JLA #122 - Oh no! Nobody's buddies anymore! Boo fucking hoo.

If Infinite Crisis #2 comes out, then I'll buy it. If it doesn't, I'LL NEVER READ ANYTHING EVER AGAIN. (including best before dates on my coffee cream)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 17:35 (twenty years ago)

Why did I think DMZ was about zombies?

― Jordan (Jordan), Monday, 7 November 2005 17:44 (twenty years ago)

Disco Mad Zombies

― Vic Fluro (Vic Fluro), Monday, 7 November 2005 18:57 (twenty years ago)

David, you are a clever one! "Hard to Port!" When you're out of nautical puns, please to make "Solicitation" funnies!

― Wolfcastleee (Leee), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:03 (twenty years ago)

I'm taking offense at that for the next 15 minutes.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:05 (twenty years ago)

And then you're charging double after that?

― Wolfcastleee (Leee), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:09 (twenty years ago)

Don't test me, son.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:11 (twenty years ago)

Dead Mean Zombies

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

Dave Matthews' Zombie

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 19:21 (twenty years ago)

I might get that X-Men Decimation special if it looks any good.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:24 (twenty years ago)

Look! They de-fattened The Blob!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:26 (twenty years ago)

Inf. Crisis #2 definitely coming out (my advance arrived today). I'm just gonna say I think a lot of people are going to be happy about the last few pages. I think I am one of them.

― Douglas (Douglas), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

Does Batman die?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:27 (twenty years ago)

OMG BARRY ALLEN IS BACK!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:28 (twenty years ago)

And Batmite is the new Anti-Monitor!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:29 (twenty years ago)

The yellow oval from Batman's costume has RIPPED the space-time continuum!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:31 (twenty years ago)

Superman turns back into a lion and Lois Lane takes him to the theatre?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:32 (twenty years ago)

Red Hood: ENGORGED!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:33 (twenty years ago)

OMG APACHE CHIEF JOINS THE JUSTICE LEAGUE!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

Dude, that already happened.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:34 (twenty years ago)

OMG!

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:37 (twenty years ago)

OMG THE FEARSOME FIVE HAVE SEX!!!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 7 November 2005 20:38 (twenty years ago)

Black Lois?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Monday, 7 November 2005 23:43 (twenty years ago)

OMG THE FEARSOME FIVE HAVE SEX!!!

15 demerits for that one, Skippy.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 00:59 (twenty years ago)

For Daver's eyes only (NSFW): http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/ewwww.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 05:27 (twenty years ago)

Yeah, I saw that on LITG. Judd, you sassy bitch, you.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 05:59 (twenty years ago)

I'm not saying as any of you are wrong.

― Douglas (Douglas), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 07:05 (twenty years ago)

whenever i see this thread title i think of

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B000003JCL.01._SCLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 07:14 (twenty years ago)

Ha! I didn't even realize LITG had reported the Fearsome Five on Fearsome Five action.
I posted on a GeoffJohns message board thread about the "mature content" of that issue that kids don't read comics anyway, so who gives a crap?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 14:47 (twenty years ago)

I'm just getting Y and Walking Dead (even though it's turning into ridiculous melodrama lately) this week. Maybe I'll check out DMZ.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:19 (twenty years ago)

yeah the melodrama angle is such a weird way to go for walking dead... wtf?

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Maybe the BOLD NEW DIRECTION = 22 pages of ZOMBIE MAYHEM (after the fist fight)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:43 (twenty years ago)

That would be nice, as Kirkman apparently gets his ideas about relationships from daytime tv.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:46 (twenty years ago)

(I know, I know, see the X-men, etc.)

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:47 (twenty years ago)

Daytime TV = A&E 70s cop show repeats (I don't know if this is even true anymore, but it was when I watched a lot of daytime TV, i.e. during high school, i.e. early 90s, i.e. OMG I need to quit my job to watch Banacek and get stoned)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:49 (twenty years ago)

I was thinking soaps and trashy talk shows, although my fondest childhood memories are the summers when I would ride my bike around all morning then come home, make a frozen pizza and watch the A-Team.

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:52 (twenty years ago)

I know what you meant, but it triggered a memory of wasted days that I would very much like to relive.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:54 (twenty years ago)

"wasted"

― Jordan (Jordan), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 15:56 (twenty years ago)

OMG A SMALL WEEK:

ACTION COMICS #833 [[godspeed, Ms. Simone]]
DMZ #1 (MR)
GOTHAM CENTRAL #37
INFINITE CRISIS #2 (OF 7) [[godspeed, Oberon]]
Y THE LAST MAN #39 (MR)

WALKING DEAD #23 (MR) [[godspeed, Erica Kane]]

BOOK OF LOST SOULS #2
DRAX THE DESTROYER #3 (OF 4) [[godspeed, Drax]]
FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #2 [[godspeed, Spidey]]
NEW THUNDERBOLTS #15
PULSE #12 [[godspeed, Mr. Bendis]]
THOR BLOOD OATH #4 (OF 6) [[godspeed, pig of Dionysus]]

POLLY & THE PIRATES #2 (OF 6)

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 16:38 (twenty years ago)

Is Oberon in the 7S Mr. Miracle?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 16:42 (twenty years ago)

If you have to ask etc.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 16:46 (twenty years ago)

fine. be that way. i'll just flood yr email with Nightwing-Starfire-condom-wrappers-a-go-go images.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 16:49 (twenty years ago)

Finally!

In the 1 issue of 7S:MM, there was Metron. & that's it, IIRC - someone that actually paid attention can probably give more pertinent info.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 8 November 2005 16:54 (twenty years ago)

Infinite Crisis #2: aka Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Crisis On Infinite Earths (but couldn't be bothered to read the thing yourself). Is white hair necessarily fuzzier than non-white hair? OH NO, A VERY OLD WOMAN MIGHT DIE! Infinite Boo Hoo!
Teen Titans #29: I was really looking forward to this. Jason Todd v. Tim Drake, the battle of the once and future Dead Robins! Jason Todd is probably the only character in the Batman universe (outside of Lapham's Detective Comics microverse where, y'know, things are AWESOME) worth rooting for. Johns almost delivers here, giving JT some int. narration, which neatly explains JT's motives. Some big fat WTF Crisis tidbits, with Beast Boy making weird Elasti-Girl comments.
JLA #12?: FILLER, shitty art.
Gotham Central #37: didn't read it yet.
I also bought Showcase Presents Jonah Hex.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:37 (twenty years ago)

Huk - any great panels in JLA like that FINGER panel from the previous issue?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:39 (twenty years ago)

I got the Sea of Red trade and an Age of Bronze issue last night, looking forward to those.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:40 (twenty years ago)

Nothing comes to mind. But the quality of the art has severely dropped since last issue.

xpost

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

To save Aunt May I must kill everybody else in the world GULP.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 10 November 2005 15:41 (twenty years ago)

oh, further to JLA #122, despite the cover, there is no Hal Jordan inside. Which is maybe not such an awful thing.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:30 (twenty years ago)

This is where that GEOFF! JOHNS! punch GIF gets posted.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:35 (twenty years ago)

Also: Mr. Ewing, could you please expand on what your comment re: poor Aunt May means?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:39 (twenty years ago)

Huk's crack about Granny Lois.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 10 November 2005 16:41 (twenty years ago)

Oh, man, INFINITE SPOILERS!

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:22 (twenty years ago)

Wait a sec: Huk, did you buy TEH LEEFILD issues of TEEN TITMANGS?!?

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:24 (twenty years ago)

yes

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:25 (twenty years ago)

Damn.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:26 (twenty years ago)

Why? Did you want to sell me yours?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:32 (twenty years ago)

I didn't end up buying it! My luv for Ms. Simone was bested by LEEFILD.

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:39 (twenty years ago)

Liefeld pwned Simone's script anyhoo with his crazzzzzzzy "this is what I feel like drawing even though it doesn't make sense" style.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:45 (twenty years ago)

"Robin! Your leg! When did you become the Elongated Man?!!"

"GAH! GINGIVITIS!"

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 10 November 2005 18:46 (twenty years ago)

FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN #2: THE OTHER PART 4!!! More OMG YOU GONNA DIE stuff, but w/ Spidey traipsing around the smart part of the MU looking for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th opinions. Of course, while the end result of what he has (OMG YOU GONNA DIE) is known, what he has isn't. So, yeah, after the Hulk, Yellowjacket, Mr. Fantastic, Goliath, Willie Lumpkin, and Juan Valdez come up empty, Spidey goes to visit Dr. Strange. Doc says it's magical in origin! And OMG YOU GONNA DIE! (Special guest appearance by Daredevil so's Spidey doesn't beat the snot out of The Ox.)

MARVEL TEAM-UP #14: Inter-publisher x-over as Spidey meets Robert Kirkman's INVINCIBLE (From Image Comics! Newest issue ON SALE NOW!) Poor old Invincible is being thwacked around various dimensions (from an Invicible story line that hasn't been published yet - COMING IN APRIL 2006!), & ends up in the MU just in time to help Spidey whup on Doc Ock. In the interim, Invicible gets to tell his origin story (available in TPB and hardcover!), make fun of Spidey's name, complement Spidey on his choice of lifemate, grab Spidey by the armpits, punch Doc Ock a lot, and call Luke Cage "Black-Man". Attempts by Spidey to return the x-over favor are thwarted when the dimensional portal cuts off his THWIP. And then Spidey goes back to Avengers Tower to watch movies with his hot wife. Next issue: TERROR INC.

WALKING DEAD #23: Worst. Fistfight. Ever.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 11 November 2005 16:09 (twenty years ago)

Augh! That evil rapscallion BACKSPACE erased all my hard work, so now I have to retype it all! BLAST YOU!

SUPERMAN #223: More Ed Benes hawt girl action (in the guise of Supergirl & her fugly costume) (& some meta-commetary on the fugliness of her costume). More INFINITE CRISISing as a imprisoned Super-hater from a few issues ago is given the BLACKSTONE (by VILLAINS UNITED's Talia) so there's a pretense of a plot going on. In essence: Supergirl shows up in the Amazon, tells Supes she's gonna go into space w/ Donna Troy, then helps Supes punch THE NEW BLACKSTONE for a few pages before going up & away. And some Superrobot named Dan gets whacked. By THE NEW BLACKSTONE. And, of course, continuing the unparalleled Shooter-esque "GIT R DONE" mentality that's typified most IC-related books to date, there's a FILL-IN ARTIST for half of the story. And about 25 different inkers to boot. Possibly because Ed Benes' obsession w/ getting the curve of the hips just so makes him late like Liefeld.

SUPREME POWER: NIGHTWING #3 (of 6): What happens when one of Marvel's TEN TERRIFIC (that'd be Daniel Way) takes the "duh, it's Marvel's Justice League!" aspect of the Squadron Supreme to the nth degree under the "adult" MAX imprint? Well, you get the SP Joker analogue naked in a room watching TV dumbfounded in clown face and clown shoes pissing on himself as his designer crack kills loads of addicts (albeit w/out the happy-go-lucky smile after-effect). And you get lots of people wearing suits saying "motherfucker" about 50 times for no apparent reason. And you have a rich black man in night goggles & black spandex grousing a lot and breaking the kneecaps of a corrupt judge with his own 3 wood. And now the clown is bringing the death fun to the kids, one birthday party at a time! Steve Dillon, I salute you.

SENTINEL #1 (of 5): Meanwhile, another TEN TERRIFICer (Sean McKeever) returns to the short-lived series that made him the favorite of about 10 fans. To recap (now with false information!): boy from broken home starts at new school, boy is treated like The New Kid, boy befriends upperclassman girl that likes wearing a pink bear-eared knit cap, boy finds mutant-killing robot, boy repairs robot (not knowing it's a mutant-killing robot), boy uses robot to get back at bullies & get some pull w/ popular folks @ his new school, boy becomes 'hero' as a result, boy wrestles with moral dillema resulting from his machinations as well as the shady past of his robot, boy uses robot for good, boy & robot are pursued by Evil Men wanting robot back, boy & robot run away. Now: boy & robot are looking for boy's mother, boy's father & friends (including Pink Bear Cap Girl) are worried sick, and Evil Men are on the prowl. And boy learns that robot actually killed a man once upon a time. Or: What he said.

― David R. (popshots75`), Friday, 11 November 2005 16:48 (twenty years ago)

Didn't Desolation Jones #4 come out this week? Also the new YtLM was really brutal!

― Dan i., Saturday, 12 November 2005 01:15 (twenty years ago)

Gotham Central #37: Oh so good. I can almost forgive Infinite Crisis because it gave us this issue.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Saturday, 12 November 2005 01:34 (twenty years ago)

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