Batman's Speed Dial

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From my blurb in this week's shipping thread on GL#9:
No way is Green Arrow's number on Batman's speed dial. Batman probably doesn't even have speed dial, because he's fucking Batman. He can remember shit. That's his power.

I've never had speed dial, nor wanted to, but what, you get 9 numbers? Who are the nine people in the DCU Batman would rather talk to than Green Lantern?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:40 (twenty years ago)

1. Robin
2. Nightwing
3. Superman
4. James Taylor
5. Lucius Fox
6. Nancy Drew
7. Cyborg
8. His lawyer
9. Doiby Dickles

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:43 (twenty years ago)

alfred
robin (cell & mr. drake's #pre-IC)
comissioner gordon
that doctor lady whatever her name is
barbara gordon
green arrow
the kent-lane residence
cat woman

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:45 (twenty years ago)

nightwing is a good call!

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:45 (twenty years ago)

I guess you didn't read War Crimes (and thus did yrself a favour), cuz if you had, you'd know that doctor lady whatever her name is moved to Africa because SHE KILLS LITTLE GIRLS (SPOILER).

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:50 (twenty years ago)

And good call on Catwoman, BABIES DON'T MAKE THAMSELVES (though it'll probably be revealed to actually be Slam Bradley's)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:51 (twenty years ago)

I figure, this is Batman, his OTHER super power is he never lets anything go. His numbers are going to be a little out of date. So:

1: Robin. This is actually Nightwing, but it still says Robin in his little menu thing. Because he's Batman, and he's like that.
2: The Outsiders, original (now blocked).
3: Hawkman. Sometimes when patrols are slow they gab about how Green Arrow needs a punching.
4: Robin. Jason Todd.
5: That 900 # where you call to vote on whether Jason Todd lives or not.
6: Catwoman.
7: Yvonne Craig.
8: The Kents (Jonathan, Martha). Who needs to call Superman? Jimmy Olsen gets a signal watch, no way is The Batman going to resign himself to a telephone.
9: Delicious Deliveries All-Night Cookie Delivery.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 23 February 2006 20:53 (twenty years ago)

5: That 900 # where you call to vote on whether Jason Todd lives or not.

Roffles!!!

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:01 (twenty years ago)

he IS a billionaire, after all.

― Special Agent Gene Krupa (orion), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:02 (twenty years ago)

Exactly! And anyone prying just thinks, damn, that Bruce Wayne really is insatiable -- six different women a week and he still racks up hundreds of dollars in 900 # calls.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:05 (twenty years ago)

"Hrm. Still not dead. Better call again."

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:21 (twenty years ago)

ILC should band together to create a pseudonym/persona named Abraham Simpson under which we (more like you guys) submit scripts to DC.

― c(''c) (Leee), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:40 (twenty years ago)

ATARI FORCE REVAMP YES

― David R. (popshots75`), Thursday, 23 February 2006 21:52 (twenty years ago)

Batman needs to call none of his Batsquad on speed-dial! His phone is only for associates rather than employees. He has a bat-device to call his minions.

Thus:

1. Superman
2. Aquaman
3. Reverse Aquaman
4. Judge Dredd
5. Bat-Mite
6. Golden Age Superman
7. The Joker
8. Brother Eye
9. The Batman Of Planet X

― Vic F (Vic Fluro), Thursday, 23 February 2006 22:10 (twenty years ago)

How about the Arkham Asylum information line?

"Press 1 for a full list of recent escapees."

― chap who would dare to be slightly tipsy on the internet (chap), Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:35 (twenty years ago)

Or Bruce Wayne's number, just to fool everyone.

― chap who would dare to be slightly tipsy on the internet (chap), Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:41 (twenty years ago)

If they had cellphones in the Sixties, they probably would have used that one!

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 23 February 2006 23:49 (twenty years ago)

For some reason (reason: I'm a fucking geek), I've been thinking about this today.
First of all, does Batman even need a speed dial? Isn't his computer sophisticated enough that he could just say, "Phone me Hal Jordan."?
Second, there's a dude out there killing people, and Batman's first impulse is to play macho mindfuck with GL by calling Green Arrow to tell him to tell Green Lantern (who is known to disappear into space for up to a full year at a time) to drop by when he gets the chance.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:33 (twenty years ago)

I think Batman would tell Green Arrow to tell Green Lantern to drop by if Green Lantern was standing 5 feet away.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:41 (twenty years ago)

I think Batman would go out and take care of the All-New Tattooed Man by himself, and then tell Green Arrow to tell Green Lantern that Batman's still cleaning up GL's messes and to eat shit and die (again).

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:46 (twenty years ago)

Oh god - thoughts of an All-New Tattooed Man are giving me the shakes.

― David R. (popshots75`), Monday, 27 February 2006 15:51 (twenty years ago)

New Man, Old Tattoos.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Monday, 27 February 2006 16:13 (twenty years ago)

one month passes...

warning: some music plays
http://supermanemo.ytmnd.com/

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 30 March 2006 15:34 (nineteen years ago)

I love comics.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Friday, 31 March 2006 11:34 (nineteen years ago)

That last tear really makes it, though.

― Suedey (John Cei Douglas), Friday, 31 March 2006 11:37 (nineteen years ago)

haha, holy shit

― dave k, Friday, 31 March 2006 13:49 (nineteen years ago)

http://www.millionaireplayboy.com/toys/batphone.php

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 4 April 2006 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

Holy cow!
Where's that from? Is it for real?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 10:29 (nineteen years ago)

If you're talking about the "Bruce isn't taking Clark's calls", I suspect it is real, and probably comes from World's Finest circa the time Batman quit the JLA to form the Outsiders. I have/had the issue where they finally made up.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 5 April 2006 13:29 (nineteen years ago)

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