take small ships: mar. 29, 2006

What's the deal with that Hellboy trade?

It's not HB's first texty adventure, either.

Oh, I've seen them in the store. That still doesn't explain why they exist, though.

Because Mignola likes money?

Just great ASS for me.

Godland #9

Books Of Doom #5 - Meh. Last issue, I think.
New Avengers Illuminati Special - I'm going to regret getting into this Civil War malarkey, I know it. But not possibly as much as House of M.
Sentry #7
Thing #5 - I've been pulling Slott's thing for ages (dirty!).
X-Statix Presents Dead Girl #3

Okay, so I've read Brubaker on Daredevil, Captain America, The Authority, and a bit of Gotham Central, and he is great on all of that. So why oh why oh why must he write my beloved X-Men so badly? I just want to understand it.

Have you read Sleeper? That's brilliant.

i tried to trade with some guy but he wasn't having it

Thank you.

However, I'm glad I didn't pull Dan Slott's Thing, because a: I don't have a pull list, and b: I did not enjoy the two issues I bought yesterday. I like She-Hulk, though. She-Hulk's sorta wackier and meta, while the Thing just reminds me of some "nothing's happening" issue of a standard Marvel comic I bought when I was ten. I am not ten anymore.

Bendis' style - much as I appreciated it on Daredevil and even in the ultra-soapoperatics of Ult Spidey - just plays strange when hes playing with the biggest Marvel Icons on a Big Stage.

It doesnt matter quite so much on New Avengers where he seems mainly to want to tell fun stories, but Civil War (like Secret Wars) is shaping up to be so self-conscious and serious that it feels wrong for these characters, this universe...

Despite that, I liked Illuminati. Well written, nicely drawn, hilariously pointless fight scene. And he does get Namor beautifully. Though Strange felt all wrong to me. Like some stoner hippy sitting with a bunch of CEOs...

Harry Osborne? He has the hair...

Please tell me that Piano Man actually existed before this series.

SUPERMAN / BATMAN #24: What Huk said. Candy-coated Crisis porn. If anyone besides Ed McG was drawing this, reading this would make me question my worth as a human being. Tho the Bizarro Captions are probably Loeb's finest contribution to the canon to date. I give this a begrudging rating of 3 CHALKBOARDS.

BLUE BEETLE #1: Nice! Cully Hamner's art is chunky fun, like Ed McG Lite. The non-hero bits are the best bits. If this maintains consistency, I'm in for the long haul (i.e. 8 issues). FIVE SCARABS (and one head wound). If this counts as a OYL thing, I'd like Tom to toss this 7 JUMP points, and a strong TO BE CONTINUED attached.

HAWKGIRL #50: Does Chaykin have some "thing" where he's incapable of drawing faces @ three-quarters profile or something? Or at a distance? A slow start, to say the least. Hawkgirl saves guy from earthquake that didn't happen, then escapes death-trap car that wasn't a death-trap. And then gets caught in a secret basement. Is she crazy? Is she high? Is she just an ordinary girl with a leather jacket lined w/ Nth Metal? Not much to go on. Also, no marmot. Yet. INCOMPLETE. Tom would probably give this a 4 out of 10 JUMP OFF POINTS, with the TBC appelation dangling by a thin thread (out of respect to Walt).

TO BE CONTINUED

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #530: Part 2 of Mr. Parker Goes To Washington, And All He Brought Was His Fancy New Suit. Tony Stark & his boy Parker sit in front of a government committee to discuss the registration act that will lead to OMG CIVIL WAR! The past 2 issues have been the best JMS Spidey books in a looooong time. More secrets about the New Suit - it can morph into different things (a la VENOM-BIOTE!), and its 3 feelers have cameras (& were installed by TS as a roffle). Hijinks w/ the Titanium Man soon ensue. THREE (and a half) SUPERFLUOUS ARMS (no baby).

FANTASTIC FOUR #536: OMG THOR HAMMER! AKA whatever - the cover is the entire issue. Doombots (then Doom - in his old togs!) crash some military-installation party to get metal mits on Doom's hammer. Special guest appearance by 1 page of the Illuminati special. Not much here (aside from some OK Thing / Torch banter) (and lots of Doombots getting clobberered). TWO STRETCHY THUMBS waiting to succumb to gravity.

INCREDIBLE HULK #93: GLADIATOR SMASH IN SPACE! This is really fun stuff - tho it's technically not part of the DOT CIVIL WAR paving project, the events that lead up to this were included in the Illuminati special, so here you go. The short of it: Hulk on alien planet, fighting for amusement of stupid red people. Hulk then forced to team up w/ other alien prisoners (including a Special Guest Alien appearance that will shock & amaze you!) (no, really!) (I shit you not!), and do stupid dirty work for stupid red people. Hulk smash, too. Greg Pak seems to be turning the Peter David trick of surrounding Green w/ a gang of semi-interesting supporting characters, letting the main man's monosyllabic charm become an accent instead of the overwhelming flavor in the dish. Warning: anti-fans of alien slang might get irked. Caveat aside, it's an enjoyable, meaty read, & nice art, too (tho I do wish Ladronn was drawing interiors). I give it FOUR ARMS (and 1 stinger).

AVENGERS ILLUMINATI: What Douglas said - it works its way into Marvel's past w/out being intrusive, sets the ball in motion, and also justifies the main tendrils that are squirming free from this morass. Good Namor, definitely. Good old fashioned dumb fight. And good Stark, too - those monologue moments BMB is fond of tend to lost their impact, but that one page of Iron Man sounding off as the camera closes in was great. I, too, am curious about Tom's lack of love for this (tho I'm guessing it might have something to do w/ the retcon-not-retcon nature of this enterprise). Best Bendis Big Superhero Event book, no doubt. FOUR CHEERS for bringing back Namor's black leather vest.

http://marvunapp.com/Appendix/tappingt.htm

Oh and the super incredibly lame thing = all the events (House of M, 198, Secret War) are apparently known by those names inside the Marvel universe!

I also like the way that it seemed to be setting itself up as a classic three-part 50s story, with Samson and Atlas doing great feats that turned out to be faked. And that also reminded me of those legendary tests of heroes ("But I could only drink a sip from the bowl!" "Yes, but the bowl was actually magickally the ocean, and sea levels went down 7 inches!"). Didn't they do that at one point in Supreme? Which All Star Superman obviously reminds me of a lot. and to bring it round, I got that same feeling from the contest at the end, where Atlas and Sampson and Superman seem to be wreaking serious geological carnage.

PS to Frank Quitely: if a joke revolves around Lois Lane admiring Atlas' belt buckle, please to draw him with a belt buckle, thank you. Apart from that, keep up the great work.

Other quick thoughts: DEAD GIRL #3 kinda disappointed me. Between the lame Piano Player gag and one other awful joke I can't remember, the humor felt more forced than usual. I've already forgotten THE THING #5 and FANTASTIC FOUR #whatever. I heartily approve of the CAP 65TH deal, but I'm a total non-judgmental sucker for any Cap-in-WWII action. BLUE BEETLE #1 was pleasant, and that's about it. GREEN LANTERN #10 sits unread on my nightstand, probably already covered with dust and cat-hair. And Don Rosa's THE LIFE AND TIMES OF SCROOGE McDUCK will have to wait until I finish the ten or so other trades I haven't cracked yet.

God-damn, why must money and comics stand in direct opposition to each other?

And we got to see the Terror Baron of Dinosaur City!

awful joke = Ducky Wucky?

Is there already a thread about how Marvel haven't needed a Crisis/Zero Hour/Infinite Crisis, because time has absolutely stood still there, and they have v. few teen sidekicks (haha Bucky is serving as a different example than he used to previously there - remember folks, don't bring kids with you superheroing or they'll end up trying to kill you. The next DC vs Marvel comic must have Red Hood vs Winter Soldier!) so they don't need a book for 'difficult growing up'? Also they tend to have a more organic approach to history - they just don't mention EG Magneto's WWII history.

I could be well off-base here, it's just the impression I get.