Infinite Crisis Death Pool

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The whole shebang wraps up tomorrow, and with it goes much of the goodwill DC has earned over the past 75 years. Some characters NEED to die, some don't, but will anyway. Today, we get to speculate, for tomorrow we shall know.

MUST DIE:
Superboy Prime - I trust Johns has read Macbeth.
Old Man Superman - Because HE IS OLD.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:43 (nineteen years ago)

Did Alex Luthor kick it already?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:45 (nineteen years ago)

Not yet, but I didn't want to pick ALL the obvious folks.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

BTW: that back-page Didio rundown of the "notes" he sent GEOFF! JOHNS! re: the script to IC #7 = slaptastic.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

yeah, it's like he learned how to edit as an intern at the Daily Bugle.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:48 (nineteen years ago)

Its a crisis, somethings gotta happen to the Flashers.

Has Jade got it yet, cos I know she is. Alan Scott's eyeball.

Minor chars: I think Anarky will get it for being TOO EIGHTIES (and not in it really).

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

Page 27: Don't kill him.
Page 28: Her, sure. Kill Atari Force, too, while you're at it.
Page 32: OMG GEORGE PEREZ WAS BORN TO DRAW THIS

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

Jade got it in the Rann Thanagar Infinite Special, but there's no reason she couldn't get it again.
I think there's a clause that all continuity jiggering miniseries must have A BATTLE AT THE DAWN OF TIME.
I think a buttload of assy villains are gonna get smushed. Leading contender: Calculator.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:56 (nineteen years ago)

He's in OYL Birds of Prey, tho! I think?

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 14:59 (nineteen years ago)

Is he? Shit. Is he?
A lot of people are (inluding one or two--depending on how you look at it--who have since died in other books--you know, the books where people are dying) in OYLBOP. I think if he is in it, he's not seen, he's just cackling on the SOCIETY comlink, which means there will be a big reveal in a few issues that THE NEW CALCULATOR IS BATGIRL!!!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:04 (nineteen years ago)

OMG, RICHARD DRAGON, NOOOOOOO!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:27 (nineteen years ago)

Batmite is Vegemite!

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

Hawkman is Hawkmeat

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:41 (nineteen years ago)

Y'know, other than the Flashes, there aren't really any big DC characters who are, y'know, AVAILABLE for death. Wonder Woman, maybe, who knows how that ball with bounce, but I kinda doubt they'll actually kill her. Donna Troy could die, who would notice? Arsenal isn't in OYL Outsiders, and I don't think nu-Speedy has been seen in Teen Titans or Green Arrow, but maybe Judd Winick is going to shunt them into his Shazam series. Hey, some of the Shazam Fam could do with NO LONGER BREATHING. Cap'n Marvel, Jr, maybe?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:49 (nineteen years ago)

What does it say of me that I can't even care about this? Am I a burnout? Should I just lock myself in the garret with stacks of 70s Marvel comics and my DOOM PATROL run?

CAN I BE SAVED?

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 15:53 (nineteen years ago)

Better question: CAN YOU SAVE US?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:31 (nineteen years ago)

Who's that worm w/ the glasses? SuperPrime could step on him OMG WHAT AM I DOING? and then get FAPPO'd by Doomsday or Bane or Nocturna.

― David R. (popshots75`), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:36 (nineteen years ago)

GREAT! Let's get that to Phil, stat! It's perfect! I'm seeing a double-splash, with a Tony Tollin trademarked SPLOOSH!

― Didio-L (Huk-L), Tuesday, 2 May 2006 16:39 (nineteen years ago)

Jurgens era Teen Titans are surely toast. Young Heroes In Love or Jinx aren't availible though, right?

― Pete (Pete), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:35 (nineteen years ago)

Oh man, Young Heroes In Love! Did they ever even make a second issue of that?

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:37 (nineteen years ago)

(xpost) Prolly not.

What about Hero Hotline? DC loves to kill funny characters lately. Maybe some 80s Outsiders? Halo, Black Lightning, maybe even. If it was up to me, Geo-Force would be pushing up daisies WITHOUT using his superpowers.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:39 (nineteen years ago)

Young Heroes In Love reached its MILLIONTH issue!

Ahem.

I have seen the spoilers. The death toll = puny as fuck AFAICT. Bushmaster fans should probably not buy this issue tho.

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:42 (nineteen years ago)

I will probably spend the rest of my workday (5 hours left!) calling up forums with spoilers on them and then averting my eyes. I'm actually way more excited about the new issue of ROCKETO anyway.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

ANIMA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:54 (nineteen years ago)

(are there any surviving New Guardians?)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

COMPUTER GUY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:22 (nineteen years ago)

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/ta1004.jpg http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/ta1001.jpg

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:26 (nineteen years ago)

Bot don'chu SEE?

― THANKYOU STAINLESS STEVE (Groke), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:28 (nineteen years ago)

NB to Didio-L, Tony Tollin is a colorist, not a letterist. You were probably thinking of Todd Klein.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 15:47 (nineteen years ago)

That's some powerful bad dialogue in the above panels.

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:01 (nineteen years ago)

Ram has already been killed, alas.

― Vic F (Vic Fluro), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:08 (nineteen years ago)

SPOILERS

WTF? This issue was incoherent! (No shock there, but still!) I mean, did Dick Grayson die? I seriously can't tell. And is JAY EFFING GARRICK the new regular Flash? Good lord, that's such a terrible idea!

At least the Superman Vs. Superboy thing was satisfying, and the bit with the Joker made up for a lot of the lameness in the series overall.

It's just really hilarious and depressing how DC had to concoct this elaborate story going over sooooooooooo many comics just to get permission to make trivial revisions to continuity from the dorkiest, most uptight readers imaginable. In a better world, all of this could have been accomplished with a note in the back of all the comics saying "Wonder Woman helped start the JLA, etc, no hard feelings!" and that'd be that!

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 16:59 (nineteen years ago)

okay so someone sum it all up for me, kthx.

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

MY EYES MY EYES

(and fwiw, DC has repeatedly said, "don't get attached to the first Flash you see" so my money's on a Bart comeback)

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:02 (nineteen years ago)

Let's hope so, Huk! I don't even care about the Flash very much, but for the love of God, Jay Garrick is like the duddest of all possible duds.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:04 (nineteen years ago)

DC needs a female Flash. That doesn't wear a bra. Or panties.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:08 (nineteen years ago)

You can't run past the speed of sound without a sports bra.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:09 (nineteen years ago)

Sez who?

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:10 (nineteen years ago)

Albert Einstein
E=MC^TITTAYS

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:15 (nineteen years ago)

Dave is onto something, physics be damned.

― c(''c) (Leee), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:18 (nineteen years ago)

haven't you ever seen that picture of nude skydivers?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 17:23 (nineteen years ago)

what ian said

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

TO SUMMARIZE:

- everyone thinks everyone's a dick, and the world is an evil place where wrong shit goes down
- alt.Earth versions of Superman & Superboy & Lex Luthor try to fix this by making their Earth the REAL Earth
- buncha shit happens
- Superboy kills about 50 characters, then gets shoulderpads
- bunch more shit happens
- Bushmaster dies
- everyone leaves happy & stops treating each other like dicks
- Lois Lane is still white

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:31 (nineteen years ago)

a bunch of people fight…some people die…its pretty dumb.

but i will mention that, on one of the first pages, the word "spell-casters" is rendered as "sepll-casters" or something very similar…

for such a hugely stupid mistake to appear in the final issue of an event the company has been pimping for 2 years is astonishing.

― veronica moser (veronica moser), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:33 (nineteen years ago)

They meant "seplltura-casters".

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

are you saying Infinite Crisis is a tired ho?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:34 (nineteen years ago)

this sounds so awful.

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:39 (nineteen years ago)

You mean awfully great!

― c(''c) (Leee), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:40 (nineteen years ago)

WHERE ARE THE T-BALLS?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:44 (nineteen years ago)

er, sorry, that post was meant for my Mr. Terrific/Wildcat fanfic blog.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 18:46 (nineteen years ago)

didnt a crazy satalitte that batman built crash and turn into a giant monster or some shit!>!??!

― city of gyros (chaki), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

INFINITE CRISIS HUKNOTES™ EDITION

-After being caught mid-rape with the wife of Elongated Man, Dr. Light is magically lobotomised by the Justice League of America
-After catching the JLA mid-lobotomy, Batman is magically lobotomised by the JLA
-After reading about this in Infinite Crisis the comics reading public is magically lobotomised
-Batman knows he was lobotomised. So he makes a big satellite to spy on his fellow superheros.
-Maxwell Lord steals Batman's satellite.
-Blue Beetle gets shot in the brain by Maxwell Lord.
-Booster Gold tells Batman it's all his fault.
-Batman sez, "whatever"
-Superman gets mind-controlled by Maxwell Lord.
-Wonder Woman twists Maxwell Lord's head around.
-Someone dressed like Superman blows up the Justice League HQ
-Superman tells Batman it's all his fault.
-Batman sez, "the last time you inspired anyone was when you were dead"
-Wonder Woman sez, "when can I kill more baddies, plz?"
-Old Man Superman, Superboy, Old Lady Lois Lane and Alex Luthor break out of the dimension they've been in since the original Crisis On Infinite Earths
-They start fucking shit up.
-Alex Luthor reveals he's been fucking shit up for a while, with help from Superboy.
-Superboy fights Superboy, a bunch of people you've never heard of die
-Old Lady Lois Lane dies
-Old Man Superman says, "I've made a horrible mistake."
-Alex Luthor starts making a bunch of new parallel universes
-Superboy smashes Alex Luthor's junior universe-making kit and then dies
-A bunch of crap from Alex Luthor's universes gets folded into the NEW ONE SINGLE UNIVERSE
-More people you've never heard of die
-AND THEN THEY ALL LEZ Up

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 19:47 (nineteen years ago)

third item should read Identity Crisis, not Infinite

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 19:49 (nineteen years ago)

Holy fuck. Yes, it's a mess, yes, some of it is butt-ugly. But the biggest holy fuck is for what appears to be Martian Manhunter's new costume. I'M NEVER READING A DC COMIC AGAIN.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:05 (nineteen years ago)

Oh wow, I didn't notice it til you mentioned it. It's awful! Why mess with a classic?

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:13 (nineteen years ago)

I like that the double page spread says "I think we've left the world in good hands...." and then there's Lobo, a random Brother Eye deathbot, and a chimp. Good going, superheroes!

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 21:22 (nineteen years ago)

AND THEN THEY ALL LEX UP

― Tom (Groke), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 22:54 (nineteen years ago)

Notable lack of Mister Miracle on the last page, that's all I'm saying.

Apart from whimpering "Did it have to be so bad? Could they not at least have left it without a Kingdom Come steal in the epilogue?"

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 3 May 2006 23:35 (nineteen years ago)

NB this was atrocious, just because I've been slagging off Civil War elsewhere doesn't mean I somehow favour this dire mess. SO rushed, and for all that I larff at the ppl on the DCU message boards growling over DC's mistreatment of 'the original superhero', E2 Supes probably did deserve a better death scene than 5 teeny-tiny Perez panels. Note also the outbreak of Jambo Robinson style emphasis as Geoff Johns desperately scrabbles for sigfile "story beats" amidst the mire.

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 4 May 2006 00:01 (nineteen years ago)

A lot of what I was gonna say--where's Mr. Miracle (WiNK WINK--7S#1 was supposed to be out before this anyway, right?? Awww, did you have to crib from Kingdom Come?--has already been said. But the art on the final two-page spread is A-TRO-SHUS. Well, a lot of the art is, but this is, well, maybe it's not actually worse than Jimenez's sliding faces.
Doomsday, WTF? Gail Simone's Velvet Underground Special set this issue up like a T-Ball (not that kind of T-Ball), and yet Johns really sucked.
So much shitty shitfuck shitballs.
I can't believe they killed GALLIUS ZED!!! My favourite Green Lantern! And wtf, Gnort was on the cover, but not inside!
And, was Batman cocking back the gun, or did he shoot and it was empty? And HOW ON EARTH does DC justify REORGANIZING THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE DCU, but only demonstrating it through Alex Luthor's dialogue?
And the Joker bit was so lame. When Lex Luthor (the real one) says, "Who's stupid now?" I figured he meant me.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:51 (nineteen years ago)

At least Zero Hour was only 5 weeks!

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:56 (nineteen years ago)

And had decent art (though most of the characters had ugly costume designs).

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 13:57 (nineteen years ago)

the url says it all: http://goodcomics.blogspot.com/2006/05/infinite-crisis-7-or-kick-to-balls-u.html

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 14:33 (nineteen years ago)

I just saw this on the ILE Star Wars thread and thought it certainly applied to IC:
Twenty-seven years after the first movie debuted, actor Mark Hamill said he is amused by all the fact-checking fans do. One recent Web site shocked him.
“I think it was speculating on the administrative cost of the janitorial staff of the Death Star, taking this hard-edged reality to something that’s fantasy,” Hamill joked. “But I was that way myself. I remember saying things like, ‘Well, wait a minute. I just got out of the trash compactor. How come my hair’s all perfect?’ And Harrison (Ford) would go, ‘Hey kid...it ain’t that kind of movie.”’

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 15:37 (nineteen years ago)

I don't really get the Doomsday thing in IC #7 either.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 4 May 2006 16:15 (nineteen years ago)

Cue Johnny Rotten in 3...2...1...

― Matt Maxwell (Matt M.), Thursday, 4 May 2006 17:59 (nineteen years ago)

Wiki synopsis

― c(''c) (Leee), Thursday, 4 May 2006 18:09 (nineteen years ago)

Oh yeah, I guess Johns hasn't read Macbeth.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 18:19 (nineteen years ago)

I'm still excited about the story by the way. I like and have always liked "whole-universe" series, they arrived in comics about the same time I did. I particularly like this approach which seems to be light on the crossovers into regular titles.
-- Tom (freakytrigge...), March 22nd, 2005 3:29 PM. (Groke) (link) (admin) (userip)

DIE INNOCENCE DIE

― Tom (Groke), Thursday, 4 May 2006 18:43 (nineteen years ago)

My memory is a bit weak, but what's the Kindom Come reference at the end?

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 4 May 2006 18:57 (nineteen years ago)

out of costume superman, batman & wonder woman, "Well, we don't always see eye to eye, but at least, when the chip are down, all it takes is some dead kids to bring us together."

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:01 (nineteen years ago)

Oh, okay. That.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:05 (nineteen years ago)

But at least Kingdom Come had a sense of humour about it, w/r/t Planet Krypton hohohaha.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:19 (nineteen years ago)

Also the line about "I know something that may give you perspective" is a reference to the epilogue of Kingdom Come, where Wonder Woman helps Superman re-emphasise his new humanity by giving him a pair of glasses, so now he looks like Clark Kent DO YOU VERY LITERALLY SEE. Which is sort of hilarious because WW spends the entire book whipping him up towards the "we are gods, we must be as gods" line of thinking that brings the whole apocalypse about, I always hoped there'd be a Mad parody where she handed him a pair of earmuffs instead.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 4 May 2006 19:26 (nineteen years ago)

Jesus, as one of the few people on the board who seems to have enjoyed IC so far, that was terrible. Beating Oldface Superman to death? What on earth were they thinking? Was this the Pat Mills guest script issue?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Friday, 5 May 2006 11:04 (nineteen years ago)

The thing that I rly rly can't believe is that after Crisis, and after Zero Hour, and after saying "yeah this isn't about fixing continuity", the whole thing turns out to be a vague history reboot and you're left not knowing what happened and what didn't AGAIN! I mean I don't actually care that much about continuity but I'm staggered they've made the same mistake 3 times in a row!! (Yes yes "History Of The DCU" back ups in 52, we've been here before too!)

― Tom (Groke), Friday, 5 May 2006 11:12 (nineteen years ago)

Well, the idea is obviously to keep that mystery up so people buy the comics to find out what's what. There is nothing that is not crass about a Crisis, Tom!

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Friday, 5 May 2006 12:06 (nineteen years ago)

I'm sort of a continuity wingnut, but was there really anything that desperately needed sorting out?

And mtttp, what's with the blood fetish?

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Friday, 5 May 2006 12:12 (nineteen years ago)

I think that if they were going to do ANY reboot at all, they should have done like Wolfman originally intended with the first crisis and just start EVERYONE over again. Because, one ContinuityFix obviously leads to another, INFINITELY.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 5 May 2006 13:33 (nineteen years ago)

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