Signs You're Too Old For Comics

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From the Takes One To Know One Dept.
http://www.byrnerobotics.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=11484&PN=11&totPosts=271

J0hn By®n3 sez:
(1) You complain about things that "wouldn't work", applying "real world" physics.
(2) You fault a point in the latest issue because it contradicts something you read in an issue you bought new off the stands twenty years ago.
(3) You refer to superhero costumes as being made of "Spandex".
(4) When you are with your "civilian" friends, you make fun of superheroes whenever they do.
(5) You think superheroes saying "fuck" is "sophisticated".
(6) You think the characters should be at least as old as you are, and some a lot older.
(7) You wonder about the sex lives of the characters.
(8) You wonder about the sex lives of the creators.
(9) You never worry when the hero is in a "death trap" because you know the company has to come out with another issue next month, and anyway you read spoilers about three issues beyond this one in WIZARD
(10) You just don't get it.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 18:59 (nineteen years ago)

(11) You care what John Byrne sez.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:04 (nineteen years ago)

12 - You are John Byrne

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:07 (nineteen years ago)

13 - You are shivering in a log cabin surrounded by polar bears, with only a mammoth stack of Lois Lanes for company...AND THE FIREWOOD IS NEARLY ALL GONE!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:10 (nineteen years ago)

13a) You won't use the Lois Lanes for kindling.

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:16 (nineteen years ago)

14) Yr pubes are grey.

― Warlock Magazine (Warlock Magazine), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:25 (nineteen years ago)

15) You have the same issues with TV & film adaptations of comic books.

― scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:27 (nineteen years ago)

16) While reading "P nthouse Letters", you visualize either Jean Grey or Wonder Woman for every female character.

― scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:29 (nineteen years ago)

17) You google-proof J0hn Byrn3

― Jordan (Jordan), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:31 (nineteen years ago)

17a) You forget to google-proof J0hn Byrn3

― David R. (popshots75`), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:32 (nineteen years ago)

not to, y'know, validate the original list by, um, reading it, but wtf does this mean:
(6) You think the characters should be at least as old as you are, and some a lot older.

SO if you are CORRECT comic reading age, you SHOULD want characters to be younger than you? Ergo, you can only read Lil' Archie?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:34 (nineteen years ago)

In fact, based on JB's criteria, is the cut-off age 8?

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 19:37 (nineteen years ago)

Between 8 and 20, if you go by rule # 2 and believe in continuity.

― scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 20:06 (nineteen years ago)

Or maybe 25 - 26 as an upper limit, since, redoing the math, a 20-year old isn't likely to read comics as a baby.

Unless they're really, really smart.

― scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 20:12 (nineteen years ago)

Supersmart, you might say.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 21:38 (nineteen years ago)

18) You start thinking that you should maybe try something without superheroes in for once... Then just settle for something about superheroes which is knowing and ironic.

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 23:04 (nineteen years ago)

19) You can afford them.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 23:20 (nineteen years ago)

20) You googleproof his name, but link directly to his webpage.

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 23:24 (nineteen years ago)

21) You get unaturally distressed whenever the ILC favourite character poll hasn't been updated for a while.

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Wednesday, 17 May 2006 23:57 (nineteen years ago)

"whenever"

― Huk-R (Huk-L), Thursday, 18 May 2006 02:23 (nineteen years ago)

22) You start worrying about sexism in comics.

― aldo_cowpat (aldo_cowpat), Thursday, 18 May 2006 06:07 (nineteen years ago)

23) your list only refers to superhero comics as if nothing else exists

― kit brash (kit brash), Thursday, 18 May 2006 07:15 (nineteen years ago)

24) you think to yrself, John Byrne, didn't he used to draw Iron Fist?

― Ward Fowler (Ward Fowler), Thursday, 18 May 2006 07:44 (nineteen years ago)

25) YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO WATCH DAVE SIM READ THE BIBLE

― city of gyros (chaki), Thursday, 18 May 2006 10:04 (nineteen years ago)

26. I'm off to Mega City today to pick up the Thursday comics!

27. The SAME THING I USED TO DO aged 11 in 1989.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Thursday, 18 May 2006 10:36 (nineteen years ago)

28. you need beer to enjoy (and a comfy chair, on a verandah, in the sun)

― molly (bulbs), Friday, 19 May 2006 08:11 (nineteen years ago)

29. You're starting to get slightly self-concious reading comics on public transport, but not enough to actually not do it (especially when half the bus is reading Harry Potter).

― chap who would dare to be a nerd, not a geek (chap), Friday, 19 May 2006 13:36 (nineteen years ago)

it is my secret wish that i will be reading superhero comics on the train and have a girl talk to me abt it.

― electro-acoustic lycanthrope (orion), Friday, 19 May 2006 13:41 (nineteen years ago)

When I was 14 a girl called me a loser for reading the Incredible Hulk. I don't thinking slamming back with, "No, it's Peter David! He's really good!" really decreased my impression of dorkitude.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:07 (nineteen years ago)

But look at you now!

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:08 (nineteen years ago)

When I was 11, Henry James was writing Hulk.

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Friday, 19 May 2006 14:46 (nineteen years ago)

Ha ha! Just kidding. I'm not that old.

It was actually Gregory Corso.

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Friday, 19 May 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

i just recommended a few gns to me libraray. (they axed)

"YOU read this?" they said.

ah um oh me kids read and um theyre 7 so um yes these suggestions are for (no oh no oops) teen

― molly (bulbs), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:50 (nineteen years ago)

That would be awesome!
xpost to Corso

― Huk-L (Huk-L), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:51 (nineteen years ago)

x-post

And now I'm 28 and I'm the straight man on a comics board. Joy.

― Chuck_Tatum (Chuck_Tatum), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:52 (nineteen years ago)

I'm 36 and the idiotic wiseass on a comics board. So look on the bright side.

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Friday, 19 May 2006 14:53 (nineteen years ago)

Speaking of age-ism, I just borrowed a Spyboy GN (Peter David) from the library. It's decent! Reminds me a lot of Kirkman's Invincible.

So 30) you internally wince when you buy/read any title that includes "...boy", "...girl", or "...lad".

x-post, 19 OT$M$. How do completist teens survive?

― scamperingalpaca (Chris Hill), Friday, 19 May 2006 14:57 (nineteen years ago)

Probably by using zcult or something similar.

― stewart k, Monday, 22 May 2006 13:00 (nineteen years ago)

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