The Scylla And The Charybdis

Scylla: "Oh no, my parents are dead. I must avenge them so that no-one else suffers my pain. This means punbishing all evil doers ever, violently, single-mindedly, I cannot let anyone in or close to me for they will die too. This is my lonely, single-minded obsession - I trust no-one, strike fear in everyone and am therefore a dick."

Charybdis: "Hey kids, lets have happy fun-jinx with the Bat-gang, and the cerazy goings on in Gotham. Join the Rainbow Batman, Batmite, Robin, Batgirl, Batwoman, Ace-The-Bat-Hound, Oracle, Onyx, Azrael, Huntress, Alfred, Catwoman, the Spoiler, his Bodyguard who never got a code-name, Commish Gordon, not to mention his girlfriends as he POW-THWOCK-SOCKOO's the holy mcmoley out of crime (hopefully using his Sci-Fi closet)"

HULK: Scylla: HULK SMASH

Charybdis: HULK DO DOCTORATE

(ie can you make the Hulk smart enough to have interesting stories, whilst not making him smart enough to just be a big, green strong bloke.)

It's sort of an indication of how ILC-centric my relationship to comics has become when statements like these just make me want to shout out "YOU'RE FITEING A STRAWMAN, EVERYONE LOVES THAT SHIT!" Like, I'm sure that if I read "Wizard" or had more friends that take a more reverential stance towards modern grim&gritty Batman, I'd agree, but the way it is now in my world Sci-Fi Closet Batman = awesome is just consensus, I honestly thought that Pete's "Batman's is a really odd one, because the perceived Charybdis is actually the home of some of the best stories" would develop into a defense of grim & gritty bats!

Scylla: They are mighty god like beings and only they can stand agaunst the unbelievable space evil of evilness that threatens teh earth, while also being really po faced and probably portrayed by Al3x Ross with superman as a painting of Alex's dad dressed in a wrinkly costume and wonder woman also a painting of Alex's dad in a wrinkly costume (can be done well tho - Grant Morrison maybe?)

Charybidis: basically a soap opera with many shenaigans where everyone bickers and has shocking secrets (can be good like Giffen/DeMatties or bad bad bad like Identity Crisis)

Scylla: There needs to be a psychological motivation (stemming from the death of his parents) for everything he does. Therefore he is doomed into tragedy which repeats itself due to his aversion to killing constantly puts people he "cares about" into danger. So he doesn't care about anyone.

Charybdis: Batman is the smartest person in the world with a contingency plan for everything. Great for one story, rubbish for ongoing, because then it removes mystery, detection and suspense (same goes for him being the best fighter etc).

The combination of both of these - a Scylla in the Charybdis if you will, has recently been eeked out in Identity Crisis Batman. But the best way to avoid it is not to plough the mid-ground, but go instead via the Rainbow/Sci-Fi closet Batman which avoids both!

S: Oh noes, am I using my GODLIKE powers responsibly? What would my dead scientist parents think of me now? What would my live farmer parents think of me now?

D: Oh noes, even though my skin is impenetrable, my heart is not! My enemies are striking out at me by attacking those closest to me!

Iron Man:
Bouze vs Boring.

S: Dredd the fascist bastard stamps his massive green boots all over the liberties of Mega City 1's browbeaten masses.

C: Dredd the fearless hero merily fights interdimensional monsters, tribes of rogue judges, t rexes etc, while crowds of Mega Citizens cheer in the background.

Of course, both these types of story are actually brilliant.

Surely with Dredd the biggest traps arein acknowledging the satire and/or making Dredd acknowledge it and grow loveable. Of course both of these things have been done and its a genie out of the bottle thing really. It is surprising how, once these have happened, he has still managed to survive. Its the chin.

S: mary sue type who everyone lurves and adores and who wolverine trains to be a ninja etc etc

C: jailbait

S: The 'isn't Mega City a wacky place' story, frequently practiced by Garth Ennis - extra cringe points if a parody of a film or TV programme is involved.

C: Stories which make Dredd's judging too unfair and arbitrary. This detracts from the edge of moral ambiguity which is a big part of what makes the character interesting. Morrison sometimes fell into this one during his brief stint on Dredd.

S: Eeek! A Squirrell!
C: Eeek! My Fucking Crazy Wife!

S: Oh no I am a Warrior sent on a mission of Peace!
C: Everything else.

S: I am basically a nazi with wings. eat my club, liberal!

C: Let us explore my convoluted resurrecty, ancient egypt, thanagarian cop past

S: Oh woe is me. I'm freakin' Job with red pajamas.

C: Dig me and my supermodel wife, my Iron Grandma. Doncha wish your boyfriend was hot like me?

I have no idea who or what this is, but it sounds completely awesome. Like, it would make a good (or terrible) sitcom.

http://www.comictreadmill.com/CTMBlogarchives/images/IdentityCrisis7.jpg

S: Uncontemplative mercenary loner, somehow on a plane of psychic know-how and campbellian destiny that he can't hope to understand while still in consistency with the character of a conan parody

C: Quietly intelligent mercenary loner, pointedly observing rareified, think-outside-the-box moralistic warrior code bullshit yet otherwise a complete fucking asshole to everyone all the time except when he's being really nice to them, did someone say conan parody

S: Simply by virtue of having nothing better to do than travel through infinite space at great speed, I will add hundreds of cosmically powerful entities to the Marvel Universe because what the fuck else is there to do than get in fights with people like that all the time

C: Simply by virtue of having nothing better to do than travel through infinite space at great speed, I will get really deep about absolutely nothing in front of the laziest backdrops ever inked

Bouze vs Bombmaker, I think.