Millennium: Why Am I Reading This in 2008?

What is that, about 88, 89?

Some possible pros:

1) Steve Engelhart!
2) Grant / Wagner / Breyfogle on Detective!
3) Awesome Mike Baron Flash where WW & his dad & Chunk hang out with Fidel Castro!
4) That 4-part maxi-cover formed by four of the cross-over books spending time in the swamp (I think)!
5) Steve Engelhart!
6) I'm stuck!

Because 1980s DC crossovers are AWESOME

see: Invasion

Invasion(!) got me into DC comics. I was really into "V" at the time, and it seemed like more of the same. And really, how could a young nerd refuse an awesome cover like this:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/e/e8/Invasiondcu0.png/225px-Invasiondcu0.png

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9b/Mission-earth-1-the-invaders-plan.jpg/200px-Mission-earth-1-the-invaders-plan.jpg http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/153/1219373~War-Of-The-Worlds-Posters.jpg

Where does this "Earth Grappled By Mysterious Hand" meme start from, by the way?

yellow skin and a red dot on the forehead. I believe the word is WAU.

Also:

7) Mrs Wootenhoffer.

Milliennium #1
"The Arrival"
"See, it's an ordinary day in the DC Universe...!" JLI makes FITE, Chinese folks make a baby, Cold War festers, "women on the way down meet men on the way through", OH MY.
Most of the Manhunter sleeper agents are revealed in the first scene. You know, big players like, um, Dirk Davis and Marcie Cooper. And some guy who looks like Space Ranger, but is actually an Atlantean, I think.
"Tom Kalmaku thinks of his wife and kids--! Tom Kalmaku remembers why his friends use to call him "Pieface"--!"
I think I would prefer the heavy-handed omniscient narrator to today's never-ending internal monologues.
I'd forgotten Ian Gibson's seemingly random contributions here. It's kinda jarring to see a Gibson panel inset in a page of Staton art. Or to see a page start out Staton and finish Gibson!
Ah, Blue Trinity! A Green Lantern pool party!
"Thank you, Hal Jordan, but do not presume to hug me--!"
Hey whatever happened to Harbinger, anyway? Or Pariah for that matter? I remember Lady Quark joined L.E.G.I.O.N.
It's weird to see Infinity Inc and the Outsiders get treated with such reverance, while the Justice League keeps pretty much to the background during the big meet-up.
I could just quote Englehart's script all day here. Especially the bit where the Herupa Hando Hu explains that the Guardians and the Zamarons left the Universe "TO DO IT". (italics theirs)

WHAT KIND OF WORLD WERE WE LIVING IN WHEN THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS PUNCHED IN THE FIRST ISSUE OF A GIANT COSMIC CROSSOVER SERIES IS PIEFACE???

Firestorm #67
"Dialogues"
This is a weird comic. Firestorm has gone out to the desert* and come back a changed man. Just like Jim Morrison and Homer Simpson. Penciller J.J. Birch is trying on a style that seems to blend Keith Giffen's Ambush Bug style with Erik Larson. Sometimes it's really good and nearly Toth-y, and sometimes it's total dogshit.
There's a lot of rehashing Mill. #1 from Firestorm's POV. Ronnie Raymond, trapped inside Firestorm's new desert-changed brain, reaches out to his new Firestorm partner who turns out to be the Russian Guy from LOST! They try some pyschic psorcery and gain a small amount of control over Firestorm, but that only gets in the way when Firestorm's Manhunter, FERGUSON, confronts him. Ferguson exploits Firestorm's confusion and makes Firestorm think that he, too, is a Manhunter!
There's an interesting epilogue dealing with Stalin's Superheroes!

Gotta applaud the art's ambition, even when it stinks, since when it doesn't stink, it's really, really good. Though the scenes inside of Firestorm's brain could have been a little freakier. I think they were going for subdued, but IT'S A COMIC BOOK. Some heavy, nearly trippy shit going on thanks to Ostrander, mixing metaphysics with physics and geopolitics.

*As shown in the Firestorm Annual this year --Denny

Flash #8
"Purple Haze"
Already I'm beginning to see that 1988 was a time of great psychedelia in the DCU.
Okay, so Blue Trinity has caught up with the Flash. "I am the first human specifically designed to live comfortably at 700 mph." Really, Gregor Gregorovich? You don't look comfortable at all.
After a pretty thrilling superspeed battle, Flash collapses (remember, Wally used to be interesting) and is shipped off to Millennium #1 while he sleeps. There's a nearly poignant scene with Black Canary, and then we see the big Millennium meet-up.
OH NO, MY DAD, A MANHUNTER! Blue Trinity!
"Do not worry. Bebeck is honest. She is in love with the all-night Wal-Mart."
If they can Showcase Prez Batman & the Outsiders and Booster Gold, they GOTTA GOTTA GOTTA do the 80s Flash (though the Blue/Red Trinity FITES will be weird in B&W).

Justice League International
"Seeing Red"
HELL YEAH.

The Outsiders #27
"Robot Tyrants of Kadeyland"
This is some fucked up shit. I keep thinking Metamorpho is Robotman, since Erik Larson draws 'em both the exact same. When did the Atomic Knight join the Outsiders??? And then the Outsiders mysteriously travel to the post-apocolyptic world of the Atomic Knights...WTF. Metamorpho dies...FOR THE FIRST TIME (I think?).

Wonder Woman #12
Okay. I'm lost. The story of Steve Trevor's mother. Barely a crossover.

Batman #415
"Millennium"
I've read this comic a thousand times. I bought it at 7-11.
"You're lucky no one in that group was a bird fancier."
Batman and Merula, er, Robin break into Arkham to get the Floronic Man before Commissioner Gordon (actually a Manhunter robot) can. Jim Starlin writes int. Bat-monologue that actually serves the plot, rather than elucidates us on "WHO IS THE BATMAN???"
Gordon's gone to Louisiana! Is there a Swamp Thing team-up in the future??? OH BOY!

Blue Beetle #20
"Iran Scam"
Early draft of Persepolis.

Legion of Superheroes #42
"To sleep a thousand years..."
The overpowering inks of Mike DeCarlo! The leadership of Polar Boy! I actually don't want to read this yet, since I'm reading this series from the beginning right now. So tough.

Secret Origins #22
(no title)
I can't believe DC let this series go as long as it did. Could it survive today?
Guest-starring the Vulture, from Spider-Man???

Wonder Woman #12
Okay. I'm lost. The story of Steve Trevor's mother. Barely a crossover.

Was Steve Trevor's mother.... a MANHUNTER?!

Yr right to skip the Legion issues, the Manhunteriness is the lowpoint of Levitz' second run (and completely contradicts his Annual from the year before)

Dr. Superman GO GO GO!!

yeah, kiu 2008 (with pics)!

Am I right in guessing Excessively Camp Hispanic Guy isn't about yet?

I think he's farming coffee beans off the back of a tamale cart between siestas at this point.

I seem to remember not liking Millenium that much, although the Manhunters part of the storyline is still a part of the current Green Lantern continuity.

Legends on the other hand I remember as being pretty good.

er and yr also right to skip the Legion issues because, being 1000 years in teh futures, they don't actually tie into the main story at all!

Steve Trevor's mother in the post-Crisis DCU was a pilot who crashed on Paradise Island (I think?), just like the pre-Crisis Steve Trevor did. Her name...DIANA!!!!!!!!!
Did Steve Trevor ever do anything worth a damn post-Crisis??? Like wear a jetpack even?

Anyway, already feeling burnt out on this thing, but might read another week's worth tomorrow if the sun doesn't come out.

Her name...DIANA!!!!!!!!!

oh man

I think post-Crisis WW was more focused on her relationship w/ Etta Candy (and curly hair) than perpetuating the whole I Heart Steve thing.

Superman #13
"Toys in the Attic"
Guest starring The Avengers! The other Avengers, that is. They're looking for the Toyman. And they're armed with every British stereotype in the book.
Ahhh, Fatty Luthor...
Supes makes a dig at Iron Man...really? I mean, Spider-Man or the Hulk, sure, but Iron Man, Supes?
It wouldn't be a John Byrne Superman issue unless the cape got torn, and lo and behold!
Lana Lang...a Manhunter?

Young All-Stars #8
"Manhunters of the World, Unite..."

A Smiths reference from Roy-the-Boy? Great Neal Adams-y art from Brian Murray (not the Brian Murray, surely?) that really revels in the Golden Age trappings. I never really understood this series, a WWII Teen Titans with analogues? Iron Munro is clearly a reimagining of early Superman, Flying Fox, um, Batman/Hawkman? Where is Danny Chase???
Doiby Dickles, NO!!!!!!!!!!
Gosh, Alan Scott sure was handsome before he turned into a geezer. Here, he wigs out and kills the Young All-Stars. THE END.

Millennium #2
"Under"

The checklist I'm working off is clearly WRONG, since I've seen a lot of these scenes already. Lana Lang sure got homely after the Crisis.
WE MEET THE CHOSEN:
Betty Clawman - "the Aborigine" as the Guardian calls her, spends a lot of time in "DREAMTIME", which means she's unemployed and likes the chronic
Takeo Yakata - "the Wage-Earner" with skinny legs, I think he runs a Radio Shack.
Xiang Po - A mousy Chinese girl on a bike.
Nikolai Volkoff - A Quebecois brute who dresses as a Russian to make Paul Mr. Wonderful Orndorff seem more WASPy.
Celia Windward - A citizen of Fascist Britain! I didn't see V for Vendetta on the crossover list! After Byrne's veddy capable handling of Brit dialogue, Englehart's lack of a grasp on it really stands out.
Salima Baranizar - Iran = controversy!
Janwillem Kroef - South Africa = controversy!
Gregario De La Vega - "Puh-lease! The only fruits anyone picks around here are bananas, and for that, you go to Ecuador!"

Ye gods, for some reason I always remembered Joe Staton's Hal Jordan as sort of a Gary Cooper-meets-Jimmy Stewart-type, but here he's positively modelled on a young Ronald Reagan. This disturbs me for many reasons.

THE FINAL CHOSEN ONE: Tom Kalmaku, who claims he can't JOIN THE FUTURE OF THE UNIVERSE because he has a wife and kids who need him, so he'll gladly just continue to skulk around spying on death-bent robots who will rend him limb from limb given the chance. WAY TO GO, PAPA PIEFACE.

OH WAIT, there's another page!

CHOSEN ONE #10: FLORONIC MAN, resident of Arkham Asylum, neighbour of Psycho Pirate who boast of beating the Outsiders and Infinity Inc, TOGETHER!

There's some weird plot point about how Terra of the New Teen Titans was supposed to be the 10th, but she's dead, so, um...I think that's actually the full extent of the Titans' participation in Millennium.

okay, obviously you're supposed to read the week's Millennium BEFORE you read the crossovers. I GET IT NOW.

Millennium #3
"Back"
"the cult of the Manhunters congregates, like flies on raw meat! Chanting!"
The return of Tawny Young! A potential love-interest for John Stewart back when he took over the Green Lantern title, this careerist tv reporter returns, and joins the Manhunter cause!!!
The Russian Chosen One is offed...by Fables' Pinocchio!
Remember when John Stewart was a brainy young architect instead of a burly ex-Marine?
NANCY REAGAN...MANHUNTER.
The Martian Manhunter faces some uncomfortable questions...
"All superheroes're spooky, Mistah Miracle Mon!" Spooky? Mr. Miracle? Perish the thought! How low would someone have to stoop to make Mr. Miracle spooky? I'd sooner see them just kill his wife and threaten his planet with genocide. As if.

Adventures of Superman #436
"Junk"

Smallville...overrun by Manhunters...Ordway at the height of his powers...

this is awesome

(p.s. this needs images)

Booster Gold #24
"Betrayal"

Booster's house turns against him as the Manhunters prove their demonic domestic dominion!
"Oh no! Not the rocket-powered door!"
Lo, the tastefully baggy sweaters of Booster Gold's lady-assistant Trixie. "The guilty party has got to be Mackenzie Garrison!" (the 34th Prime Minister of Canada --Denny!)
The villain is eventually revealed to be a holographic android named Backstabber, if I'm reading this correctly (I ain't).
Lotsa sweet full body beefcake shots of Booster as fights his interior decorating. Who was reading this stuff?
Garrison, a she, denies she's aManhunter:"I prefer to let the men find me!" before none other than dastardly Dirk Davis reveals himself. He's stolen Booster's money and there's nothing anyone can do!

Oh crap, there's 10 more pages!
Booster sides with the Manhunters! Well, he's from the Future, he'd know how to pick a winner, wouldn't he?

I read Millennium for the first time a couple of months ago (as part of my ongoing readthrough of post-reboot Superman) and I honestly couldn't even tell you what happened. It was pretty abyssmal. Invasion! was lots of fun, though.

man, that series was SO BAD

there should be moratorium on Booster Gold in crossovers imo

Well, there seems to be a lot of standing around debating cosmic ethics while heroes express pretty much just that in thoughtbubbles.

also, nothing gratuitous going on here, nosireebob.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/backsidetrixie.jpg

We can assume from the dialogue that there was supposed to be some buzzing sound effects in the above panel.

Yo! What's got the bee up your backside, Trix?

I like the way someone, maybe Dirk, maybe Booster, has placed what appears to be a filing cabinet in front of the desk where a chair would normally be, thus forcing Trixie into the above pose. That's some well-planned workplace harrassment.

Green Lantern Corps #220
"Betrayal"
In which Hal Jordan takes sassy Brit Celia to his former workplace, engages in some man-signalling, follows Pieface to Alaska and beats down his former boss, a dangling plot thread from years and years ago.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/mansignalling.jpg

Actually, the Mr. Smith plotline (I think he first appeared during the Wein/Gibbons run) was only a couple of years old at that point, but GAH, marvel at how many stories were told between the beginning of Crisis and the end of Millennium!

Infinity Inc. #46
"Swamped!"

The gay son of the original Green Lantern of Earth, Todd Rice has never been a hit with the ladies...until now!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/InfinityJFox.jpg
His hetero-fantasy life is about to be shaken to its very core when his galpal Marcie Cooper reveals herself to be a member of a thousand-year-old race of androids hellbent on the destruction of anyone who makes casual mentions of Roy Thomas's other DC series like Jonni "finding missing persons is her business" Thunder, even if that someone is Todd's twin-sister Jade!
There's one thing to do, Infinitors! Go to the swamp and collect the Floronic Man for the secret Millennium project and wrestle some alligators while you're at it. Hey, how about cameos by Solomon Grundy and Swamp Thing?

Millennium #4
"FORTH"
All eight of the surviving Chosen have been brought to the Green Lantern Citadel in Santa Monica. Floronic Man pulls a Bender and calls his captors "Meat". Batman doesn't like it.
And that's just the first page!
Page 2: The assembled Chosen and lingering Infinitors discover that the GLs have used their rings' magicks to instantly translate everyone but Celia into English. Batman still doesn't like it.
Page 3: Young Flash rebuffs the advances of an aging Apartheidist, Batman doesn't like it, but needs to borrow Green Lantern's computer. Hope you cleared your history, Highball2814!
Page 4: "In the time it takes to order a new STAR Labs jet, he is gone!" Seriously? So what, 6-8 weeks?
Page 5-6: Meanwhile at the Manhunter headquarters, Firestorm and Booster Gold attend their first meeting, admitting they are powerless over their addiction.
Page 7: Captain Atom compares himself to Oliver North!
Page 8-9: Herupa Hu and Nadia Nir give the Chosen one last chance to back out.
Page 10: The Suicide Squad! The world's most dangerous criminals and sometimes the Penguin!
Page 11: Waller's been pulled from the Squad so their being led by a pregnant man with a beard!
Page 12: The Batman pays a visit during office hours!
Page 13: Wait, is this a riddle?
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/prisonboat.jpg
Page 14: Someone finally calls Madame Xanadu out on being full of hooey!
Page 15-17: Of course, he would have to be a Manhunter with a neckbeard to disbelieve in the mystic arts.
Page 18: I don't understand why Batman can order up a new jet, but the Spectre has to buy a plane ticket.
Page 19: The return of the Harbinger! A prisoner on the Manhunter planet! That can only mean something is going to happen! That's her power, right? She advances the plot.
Page 20: She escapes using a technique she learned from Dukes of Hazzard reruns!
Page 21: Her escape was not to be. But there, in the corner of the panel, the undead Green Lantern Driq lurks like a symbol of things to come, like an omen of future events, like a literary device used to foreshadow what happens next, like...A HARBINGER.
Page 22: Floronic Man talks to a punk hiding in the trees. Batman meets his public.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/iam.jpg
Page 23: Batman, Captain Atom, and the Spectre all headed into the swamp from different directions! For once and for all, the final battle between DC's Crime, Sci-Fi and Mystic Adventurers! STAY TUNED!

Teen Titans Spotlight #18
"Sea Change" or How Aqualu-umph Got His Groove Back

Art Thibert inks himself while biting on a few Neal Adams sandwiches.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/nealwho.jpg
Aqualad is tired of Aquaman treating him like a kid. But here come the Manhunters piloting automatic jellyfish! So it's the creatures of the deepvs. the creepy robots! Which raises an interesting question, does Aquaman subvert the fishes'free will when he commands them? Is he really just Darkseid with fins?
Aqualu-umph? That will be a great name for Aqualad when he grows up to take over his former mentor's role just like, um, Kid Flash, Robin and Speedy all have.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/aqualuumph.jpg
Manlobsters? Lobsterhunters? Blwoof?
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/blwoof.jpg
Oh shit, those whales are ANGRY.
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/morelikeit.jpg

Action Comics #596
"Hell is Where the Heart Is"

One of the very few story titles longer than one word so far. Following up on the events of Adv. of Superman #436, the Spectre arrives in Smallville to find that every single person born in Smallville since Superman's arrival from the planet Krypton is DEAD! Or knows someone who is dead. Either way, gruesome but not at all graphic. Supes has laid the bodies out in nice, orderly rows and neither rolling heads nor severed arms are anywhere to be seen. The Spectre takes Supes to the Astral Plane, which is in black & white--only the thought bubbles are coloured!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/immortalsoul.jpg
Wait! But it is only a simulacrum (actually quite popular during John Byrne's Superman days) so brilliantly-conceived it fooled even the Spectre!
The Spectre defeats the simulaghost of the Manhunter OB-GYN and Smallville's dead live again! Take that, Geoff Johns!
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/notwishtosatisfy.jpg
It couldn't be that easy? How about the team-up you thought you'd never see?
http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y298/hukl/dwaynevader.jpg